This Fire is Out of Control!

Name: Portgas D. Ace Rank: Commander of Whitebeard's second division Status: Deceased Member of the UPM Trailer Z-5 ((also also, the header's an edit from here))

[swordsandbooze-blog]

brothercomplex started following you

 [So there’s Zoro walking around, almost looking like he’s pacing. He’s got to be mad about something, right? But it can’t it be his missing swords, right? Nope nope, of course not. But just in the distance, Zoro swears to seeing a certain, slightly familiar hat worn by an even more possibly familiar shirtless pirate. He grins, relieved to know that someone sensible had shown up in this crappy place.] “Oi, Ace! That’s you, isn’t it?” [He calls out to his captain’s older brother and gives a friendly wave. Maybe chatting with this guy would ease those tensions of wanting to murder and kill something right about now. Maybe.]

[brothercomplex-blog]

[Well, he certainly wasn't expecting to see one of Luffy's nakama around here! This was good. Very good. Maybe now he'd have another person he could count on to keep an eye on his little butthead brother!! He returned the wave and walked over to the swordsman.]

Yup! It's me. 's good to see you again, ...Zoro, right?

[brothercomplex-blog]

[meatcomplex-blog]

[PREDICTABLY SHUT THE HELL UP, DON’T ACT ALL COY AND KNOW IT ALL, SANTA DOESN’T LIKE THAT SHIT, IT DOESN’T GET HIS BEARD ALL HAPPY AND FULL OF FOOD CRUMBS AND- oh actually that sounds good BUT ACE THINKS ITS CUTE, FUCKING BROTHER COMPLEX, AND CAN BARELY OVERCUM IT, SO SHUSH! NO ONE LIKES A COY PIECE OF CHICKEN WING!!!!]

[He is really good at it, yeah! Luffy’s tummy says as much when he fills it by pilferi- I mean borrowing things and rearranging things on Ace’s plate while he’s asleep but don’t tell him that shhhhhhh]

A GOLD STAR?????? REALLY???????????? CAN I GET A GOLD CHICKEN INSTEAD?! You don’t gotta stick it on or anything, just put it in my mouth!

[brothercomplex-blog]

[PREDICTABLY I AM NOT COY NOR DO I HAVE A BROTHER COMPLEX!!! MY URL IS MISLEADING YOU!!!!! THE ONLY TIME YOU ARE CUTE IS WHEN BOOGERS AND POOP ARE CUTE!]

A golden chicken, huh? That might be a bit hard to find, but maybe I'll be able to catch one for you for your Christmas gift? That time's coming up soon after all.

But you better behave yourself until then, or else I'm keeping it for myself, okay??

[brothercomplex-blog]

[meatcomplex-blog]

[PREDICTABLY SCREW YOU, RAMEN IS GOOD, BUT AFTER LIKE A MILLION TIMES OVER AND OVER THE ROUTINE GETS KINDA OLD! …..AND I BURNT THE WATER ONE TIME AND GOT KICKED OUT, SO WHAT DO YOU KNOW!!! IDIOT!] 

[Totally thinks he got away with it, he is a good liar, yes he is!]

CRAAAAAAAAAP, WHY DO YOU GOTTA BE RIGHT THIS ONE TIME! YOU’RE NEVER RIGHT! UGHHHH…she talks a lot, but besides that first time, I dont think she says her name a lot….dammit. I’ll get her a name tag next time, for sure!

Maybe I could get Kingo to get her name for me! He’s nice and likes talking to people sometimes, about his trunk. Should be easy!

[brothercomplex-blog]

[PREDICTABLY THINKS THAT LUFFY SHOULD STOP COPYING HIM WITH BEING PREDICTABLE!! COPYING WHAT YOUR OLDER BROTHERS DOES WAS ONLY CUTE SINCE NEVER. ALSO HOW DO YOU EVEN BURN WATER? EVEN I, WHEN I STILL HAD MY DEVIL FRUIT POWERS, NEVER DID SUCH A THING!!]

[Luffy is a good liar in the same way that Ace is good at pulling all-nighters.]

Yeah, yeah, it sounds like you got everything figured out now, huh? I'm real proud of ya, Luffy. Should I get you a gold star for this?? 

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

[That’s fine because LUFFY STARTS TO PINCH TOO WITH HIS SHARP LITTLE NAILS into some succulent flesh, yeaaaah that’s right he’ll show you wet toilet paper stuck to your butt like that one time in town, THEN YOU’LL SEE

He can hear the terrible, horrifying and haunting sounds of his delicious feast being violated and that only makes him struggle harder and whine

Until he finally, FINALLY recognizes the voice]

………….Oh! Ace? I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE IN THIS WEIRD PLACE TOO! HOW COOOOOOL~

[Removing himself from the warzone on the cake, wet and soggy cake particles dripping from his face to the roots of his hair, he beams

and punches Ace in the chest] IT’S TOTALLY MINE! I GOT IT ALL BY MYSELF AND I WAS HERE FIRST TOO! I’LL HIT YOU WITH MY BOOGER KNUCKLES IN A MINUTE YOU JERK!

[Let out a small "oof" at suddenly getting punched even though it was totally like a girl-punch!! before smearing the cake and frosting even more on Luffy's unsuspecting babbu face.

Eat another stick of chicken leg and talks with food still in his mouth.]

OH, YEAH RIGHT! I BET YOU JUST STOLE IT FROM THIS GUY! [Points the leg bone at the wibbling guy still crying over the loss of his food.]

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

[Well that’s cool bro, because Luffy doesn’t really need to breathe that much and he’s alright with measuring (AHAHAHA as if he can measure things other than how high the fridge door handle is) how much of the rapidly mushing cake he can vacuum into his mouth as fast as he can clear a space to breathe, and occasionally punching whatever parts of Ace he can get at

So he mumbles and gurgles and squirms in return, a little worried about the asshole stealing his food, a lifts his head, cake in his eyes, and declares]

THIS IS MY MEAT MOUNTAIN, GET OUT, OGRE! I ONCE FOUGHT A TIGER AND MADE HIM EAT HIS OWN POOP YOU KNOW! I’LL DO THAT TO YOU TOO IF YOU DON’T STOP IT

[Psh. As if Luffy's little baby punches could do anything against him!! A mosquito bite hurt more than his wet toilet paper hits. 

Ace fucking inhales maybe 1/4 of the meat mountain before finally speaking to his dumb little brother.]

I don't see your name on it, so it's as much mine as it is yours. [Actually, it should've been more his since he was the older one here!]

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

[All was well and peaceful in Luffy’s little head, warm food in his belly, a nice breeze, helpful food people whimpering and mourning their cabbages produce, it was great. So so great! 

Until something smacks the unsuspecting babbu in the head, making him smush a perfectly good piece of cake alllll over his nose and cheek, ruining everything ever.  After licking some of the mess off, he starts to whirl around, fists raised, but stops himself]

HEEEEEEEEY SOMETHING HIT ME! Oh crap, Gramps isn’t here, is he……Maybe if I don’t turn around, he can’t see me! IF I CAN’T SEE HIM, HE CAN’T SEE ME!

[That was his story and he’s sticking to it but…wait…someone….SOMEONE WAS EATING HIS FOOD so have a scandalized shout in reply] 

[Wow, ok. He felt REALLY INSULTED. How could Luffy possibly think that HE WAS THAT SMELLY OLD MAN?! With one hand, Ace shoved his adorable little brother's face further down upon that poor cake, and with his other hand he continued to dump more and more and more food into his mouth. Luffy may have been a brat, but he knew where to find good food.]

[Here have some really rude eating noises. And I sure hope you don't drown in that cake, kiddo!!]

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

[How is Luffy with the whole, waking up in a place he doesn’t recognize, but sort of does sort of thing? 

Well Ace needs only to glance into the horizo- er, a little further ahead and Luffy is A-okay, a feast spread out before him at a creaky, rickety picnic table, and the blurrish whirlwind that has suddenly whipped up? That’s the speed of Luffy’s tiny hands scooping food into his mouth.]

YEAAAAAAAAAAH THIS PLACE IS GREAT! I THINK THERE’S SOMETHING I’M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING BUT….OH WELL, LUNCH FIRST, SHISHISHISHI!

[In the corner of his eyes he sees a nervous looking food vendor slowwwwly try to back away from ground zero, but it’s too late. Mid-bite, food and spit flying everywhere, he calls the poor bastard over] HEEEEEEEY FREAKY GUY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? ARE YOU GOING TO GET MORE? YOU’RE A NICE GUY, GO AHEAD AND DO THAT, YEAH? BUT HURRY BACK! 

[Ugh. These were mixed feelings, for sure. Luffy was here and safe, but. WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING? IDIOT! THAT STUPID IDIOT!!

Ace ran with his tiny legs as quickly as he could and HIT THAT IDIOT SQUARE IN THE HEAD!!!!]

LUFFY! HOW COULD YOU EAT WITHOUT ME. STOP TERRORIZING THIS WEIRD OLD GUY!

[As he's saying this, Ace picks up some of the food and shovels it into his mouth.]

[brothercomplex-blog]

[When Ace work up this morning, he was bound for a little surprise. It took him some time to realize it; still caught in a haze of drowsiness, Ace went through his typical morning ritual. Fix his bed, poop, etc etc. It wasn't until he reached the sink to brush his teeth that he noticed...

he couldn't see the top of the counter anymore.

He stared at the counter, craning his head, going on his tippy toes, to try and get a better look. But he wasn't tall enough. What was this? What? How?

Ace ran outside of his trailer--a-and his line of vision was a lot lower than he remembered.]

[Oh, balls. What the hell was going on?]

[brothercomplex-blog]

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

[PREDICTABLY HOW IS FEEDING THE INSATIABLE AND CRIPPLING HUNGER OF A YOUTHFUL BLOSSOMING…YOUTH LESS IMPORTANT THAN WORRY WARTING?! REEVALUATE THAT LIST BIG BROTHER!!!] 

Psh no, I wouldn’t die! Even as a bee, I’d be too strong to die. No way. I’d just sting you and run off with whatever’s on your plate, as usual. I mean….

uh run to….

pee….as usual 

[Luffy’s face scrunches up with an expression akin to concern. Or probably hunger] Oh crap, that’d be bad! I don’t wanna make her sad….ahhh, what to do….maybe I’ll just wait till she says her name! Like as we’re talking! Thats bound to happen, right? That way nobody has to miss the festival! [He beams] What a great plan!

[PREDICTABLY SUGGESTS YOU MAKE YOUR OWN FOOD THEN! JUST GET INSTANT RAMEN!! ALL YOU NEED IS HOT WATER AND THREE MINUTES!!! YOU CAN DO THAT YOURSELF, RIGHT?!?!?!]

[Casually ignores Luffy's comment about stealing his food and makes a mental note to add some boogers into his little brother's next meal.]

That might be pretty hard. People don't usually say their own name when they talk you know? Well, I guess there are a few that refer to themselves in 3rd person, but-- You could try to get someone else to get her name for you?

[brothercomplex-blog]

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

[PREDICTABLY NONONONONONONO SHHHH STOP DOING THAT AND GET IN THE KITCHEN, SHIT!!!]

I CAN TOO! DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Since we’re friends, she won’t mind! Either that or Spice-chan! Cause I think its something about spice, I don’t remember that much because I was thinking about rescuing the spices and stuff….hmmm…

Buzzzz buzzzzz if I was a bee I’d sting you good, poopface! Stinging is totally smart! [Aside from the whole…butt thing and dying after a single sting thing]

[PREDICTABLY DOESN'T SEE WHY LUFFY CAN'T WAIT LONGER BECAUSE IT'S HIS DUTY AS AN OLDER BROTHER TO CARE MORE ABOUT WORRYING THAN FEEDING THE LITTLE BROTHER!!]

If you were a bee you'd die if you did try to sting me. [...Oh, right, Luffy's APPARENTLY old enough to make his own decisions, huh...] Well, anyway, how about... you might hurt your friend's feelings if she finds out you can't remember her name. Yeah.

[brothercomplex-blog]

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

[Predictably picks his nose and wonders what’s for late dinner….early breakfast, ignorant to the wor- Ace’s inner strife] 

HEY I DON’T BUMBLE! I’M NOT A BEE, YOU BUTT! I don’t even have anything yellow to wear besides hat…..and she and me’ll be just fine! SHE KNOWS THE MEAT KING AND SHE’S GONNA SNEAK ME IN! I THINK THEY’VE HEARD OF ME TOO, BECAUSE SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THEM RUNNING AROUND! Other than the festival stuff, anyway….

I DO TOO KNOW HER NAME! I JUST FORGOT! IT STARTS WITH A P, THAT’S EASY!

[Predictably doesn't care about what Luffy's gonna eat because he's too busy worrying!!!!]

You can't just call her P-chan, dummy! Find out what her whole name is before you start this adventure, okay? 

Anyway, bumbling doesn't only apply to bees, it works for idiots, too. Just don't come crying to me when you get the both of you lost.

[brothercomplex-blog]

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

We walk there. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH! Jeez, you keep forgetting all these things, it’s starting to worry me….

Or maybe we’ll just sail there! We haven’t really talked about it yet!

And her name’s….

I forgot. But she’s like my twin [in clothing thank christ] so she’s cool!

[Predictably, worries more. Tries to reason with himself that if they're just walking, then they can't get too lost...]

Well, if she's your twin then she might actually be able to deal with your bumbling around. And it might be important to get her name, you know? Since you guys are gonna be traveling that makes you nakama, right?

[brothercomplex-blog]

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

OF COURSE I AM! I’M AS SERIOUS AS….

UHM

…..

AS SERIOUS AS THAT ONE TIME WE GOT A HOT POT THAT WINTER AN’ THEN WE FOUGHT TILL THE DEATH

AND BY DEATH I MEAN BATHTIME

AND BY THE TIME WE WOKE UP SINCE WE FOUGHT SO GOOD

IT WAS ALL GONE!!!!! 

AS SERIOUS AS THAT, ACE! 

I’M SO SERIOUS 

Oh, shit, man. That is pretty serious. 

So how exactly are you going to this "Meat Kingdom"? And who's this girl?

[brothercomplex-blog]

Huh? What the hell are you going on ab--

RUNNING AWAY? OI, LUFFY, YOU AREN'T SERIOUS RIGHT!?

[brothercomplex-blog]

the end of hide-and-seek

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

Uhhhhhhhhhhh it definitely feels like food withdrawl, ahhhhh AAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEE I FEEL SO…..DIZZY….AND THIS STINGING PAIN IN MY HEAD…LIKE SOMETHING HARD AND STUPID HIT IT….UWAAAAAH HELP….ME…..[He tugged at his Handful O’Ace and whined, swaying from where he….stuck…] I THINK I’M OVERHUNGERED! I COULD GET REALLY HURT IF THIS KEEPS UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Huuuuuuuh? But I’m stuck! And I don’t see you with any more glue to help unglue me! You’re a crappy motivational speaker, y’know. Really crappy, crappy, crappy, crappy!

[He was starting to get a headache from all of this. Ahhh, and he couldn't even ask Luffy to ~take care of him~ since that dope's methods of healing probably included eating until the pain went byebye. Which did actually sound a little tempting now, but--

Being the best brother in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, Ace ignored Luffy's terrible lies about him being a crappy motivational speaker. He then wrapped his arms around his brother's waist and yanked him out of his vest. So Luffy was free, but his vest was still glued to the tree.]

Okay, the ~*~princess~*~ has been saved. Be grateful and shower me with praise. 

[brothercomplex-blog]

the end of hide-and-seek

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

IS THERE MEAT?! [Lucky for Ace Luffy only began to thrash excitedly when he had vacated the danger zone, and his grabby hands only clutched at whatever handfuls of Ace he could get to, and once his wonderful, caring, injured brother’s words can registered after about ten minutes of flailing and screaming for food, Luffy calmed his tits. Mostly] Awwwwwww but why not?! ‘m not an idiot, YOU’RE the idiot who doesn’t know how to tell time, obviously! It’s clearly thirteend a’quarter! HMPH. 

[He rubbed his forehead and frowned] Heyyyyyy….my head kinda hurts! IT’S FOOD WITHDRAWL, HELP ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

[Drats. If he still had his log pose, then Ace could've probably gotten away with it being a watch and fooled Luffy into thinking it wasn't dinnertime. But, again, any time for Luffy was meal time, so. He had no way out of that.]

It's not food withdrawal; your head hurts because you headbutted me just now. Idiot. 

But anyway, Luffy, if you can get out then we can go and get dinner, I guess. [He did sort of already tell Luffy that he could just strip take off his vest strip, but let's see if that lunkhead actually heard him say that.]

[brothercomplex-blog]

the end of hide-and-seek

[brothercomplex-blog]

meatcomplex:

[So Luffy just sort of hung out there, ha ha ha get it becau- yeah, and snored away, the rumbling sound, teamed with his growling stomach sending the surrounding birds that had stupidly stuck around out of curiosity into a nervous tizzy. What they could have been nervous about could have been numerous things; the grumbling noises coming from each orifice of Luffy’s, the strange man that was about to soap up this other weirdo, the string of drool that continuously flowed like a majestic river from Luffy’s open craw, the chewing motions Luffy made in his sleep, the list is pretty long. 

Luffy was having a wonderful dream of dancing Meat and Mashed potatoes and a fork with a top hat and a mustache, and Sanji was there and he had a mushroom hat on, and Zoro was there too and oh god he didn’t get lost for once! And Nami…well Nami threw assless monkies at them and cackled evilly, so Nami was pretty much the same as usual. Everything was wonderful and he was warm and happy and it was a damn good thing no one had stuck his hand in a glass of water because he was  feeling good enough to pee

And then he was pleasantly awoken by true brother complex’s first flaming fist? his wonderful big brother] 

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZAT?! [He jerked and howled, knocking his forehead into Ace’s in the process] IZZIT DINNER TIME YET?

  [LKDSJFH:SLJDH"SLFSHF:LJFH:DSLJFHSd--!!! F-fuck, he should've expected that. Considering how loud he yelled, he really should've seen that coming. Stupid rubberboy and his stupid hard head. Ace took a step back just in case Luffy started thrashing around, groping the air for a turkey leg or something.]

IT ISN'T, YOU IDIOT. [Oh, but then again, any time was meal o' clock for Luffy, right?]