I'm gonna be the Pirate King!

How could I know how to use swords, you idiot! I don't know anything about navigation! I can't cook! I've never lied to anyone! I'm sure that if no one helped me, I couldn't survive! But I can beat you. My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I'm gonna be the Pirate King! My awesome crew and I will tackle our dreams head on and win, just you watch! THIS place is really weird but SO COOL! What's that do? What's this thing?? Uwaaaaaaah so coooool, do those little hotdog stands just follow you around?! Dream come trueeeeeee! Eh? My friends aren't here? Hmm...I'm sure they'll show up eventually! Most importantly....when's dinner????

[meatcomplex-blog]

swordsandbooze started following you

[swordsandbooze-blog]

[Another eyebrow twitch. As tempting as a sake monster was for this swordsman to get a hold of, he knew that was just part of Luffy’s very questionable imagination. But still, but still… Oh, save it for now. Zoro instead just nods and maybe, sort of slightly blushes at Luffy’s words.] “Of course I’m me, idiot… Oi, and don’t go saying I’m a dork so casually like that!” [OK, so maybe Zoro wasn’t fully calmed down and such, but it was still the thought that counts coming from Luffy. A sigh directs itself to Zoro’s captain.]

[Zoro couldn’t exactly just comment on the idea of the other crew members that wound up in this shitty place one time or another all hitting their heads and forgetting. That would just be silly, of course. Except for Sanji. And, maybe Franky… And… Brook, too… ANYWAY, all this green-haired swordsman knew was something definitely wasn’t right. And he was still pretty sure about not being here, too. Instead, Zoro brushes that thought away and gives some sort of embarassed… grunting noise at the crew coming here and being called a dork. And then the clashing of heads. And then more shouting.]

“TOILET PAPER S.O.S.!? YOU’RE CRAZY!” [Spit flies out of his mouth with his whole face turning red. Then he crosses his arms, stamps a foot on the ground, and huffs. Hopefully that got some of the anger out.] “And I’m not moody! I just don’t know what the hell’s going on right now. And you’re not making this any easier…” [But Luffy’s back to his cheerful self, so Zoro thought he could at least try to do the same. Luffy’s proposition of getting everyone this shit hole (wait there’s more people?) out of here and onto the ship was of course a crazy idea. All of them, nakama? His arms are still crossed with a serious expression, but the swordsman chose to hold back on commenting for now. He just arrived in some freakishly unknown and ran into his best friend of all people, after all.] ‘He’s still as naive as always…’ [He thought, that ultra-serious look still on his face.]

[But now he’s being attempted at being dragged off in some direction by an overjoyed Luffy. It was… weird not seeing that arm of his stretch, trying to drag along a firmly-planted person. Sighing and rubbing the back of his neck, Zoro decides to go along with Luffy and starts walking (and getting pulled).] “Whatever, it can’t be helped… As long as they’ve got some sake here, then it’s fine by me.” [Oh Zoro stop blushing, you big baby.]

[meatcomplex-blog]

What's so casual about it? I really meant it! Do you want me to shout it instead? ZORO IS A DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK! Or whisper? [Like Luffy could actually whisper unless its a fart whisper, PFFFFFFFFFFFT! He cants his head to one side, clearly puzzled, then shrugs it off and grins] AAAAh good ol' Zoro, I knew you were in there somewhere! [Cue some patting on the back, good thundering heavy palmed pats. But he's really really happy that Zoro has snapped out of it and naturally he's going to be just as excited as Luffy about all their new friends, right?!]

[Luffy takes the spittle rainshower in stride, even though the weather channel totally didn't say anything about that....he slowly wipes the spit off with his palm, drags it down his face, and squints at Zoro] You should really be careful after hitting your head so hard! If you lose all your liquids too you could faint like a girl and then get even more turned around. [Doctor Luffy is on the case, oh god...

have a good natured and practiced patient confidential smile and more patting] There, theeeeeeeeeeeere Zoro I believe you! Even though it was signed with your name and had your crappy hand writing of course it wasn't youuuuu! IT MUST'VE BEEN THE SAKE MONSTER! [Rapt attention is now gained, isnt that pleasant, but as the old adage goes....dumbasses before the fall? Well, regardless, Luffy isn't bothered by Zoro's hot and bothered rants] 

Mmm, okay Zoro doesn't understand...uhmmm...well I don't either really but we'll figure it out! And there's no use...how's it go....OH, GETTING YOUR PANTIES INTO A TWIST! That just wastes lunch time, y'know. 

[So Luffy is just humming along and SO SO happy that Zoro has finally SHUT HIS GOB AND WENT ALONG WITH IT LIKE A GOOD BOY and points somewhere off in the distance] THERE, WE CAN GET SOME PRETTY GOOD NOODLES FROM THAT GUY! He's funny even though he can't talk, and whenever I come over he always does a really excited dance! He's gotta be really happy to have me as a regular, dontcha think? [He adds with a tug at Zoro's arm that could quite possibly tear his arm off]

[hatchan]

even zoro’s zombie is directionally challenged jfc

[swordsandbooze-blog]

“I AM Zoro, dumbass! And why the hell would I taste like lettuce!? Luffy, if it’s because of my hair, I will…” [A lot of angry eyebrow twitching and a red face. Then he looks at Luffy all astounded. Really astounded.] “Something important? Don’t tell me you forgot it was Ace’s birthday or something. He’s your brother!”

[meatcomplex-blog]

NO YOU AREN'T!!!!!!!! YOU WERE ALL....ACTING LIKE YOU HAD AN ITCH SOMEWHERE AWKWARD AND COULDN'T GET IT OUT AND THE REAL ZORO WOULD DO WHATEVER IT TOOK TO BE UNITCHY! SO PROVE IT! 

[So just have a finger in your face, all accusing like

and then Luffy's face morphs into the biggest 'bitch please' expression] Noooooooooo, of course not. It's cause your face looks like a leaf. DUH, goddddddddd maybe you are Zoro, you're as slow as him....

It was something like....uhmmm....nooo I put the toilet seat down...and I didn't drop the soap...what could it be....

[swordsandbooze-blog]

meatcomplex replied to your post: Oi, Happy Birthday, Ace

“What, you wanna make something of it!? I was just being friendly is all!” [He sighs and crosses his arms.] “I guess I won’t say anything about you on your birthday, then…”

[meatcomplex-blog]

WHO ARE YOU AND IF YOU ATE ZORO, WHAT DID HE TASTE LIKE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

DID HE TASTE LIKE LETTUCE? CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WOULD TASTE LIKE

...........

I think I forgot something kinda important 

[yuki-oh-deactivated20151022]

[brothercomplex-blog]

[brothercomplex-blog]

[PREDICTABLY I AM NOT COY NOR DO I HAVE A BROTHER COMPLEX!!! MY URL IS MISLEADING YOU!!!!! THE ONLY TIME YOU ARE CUTE IS WHEN BOOGERS AND POOP ARE CUTE!]

A golden chicken, huh? That might be a bit hard to find, but maybe I’ll be able to catch one for you for your Christmas gift? That time’s coming up soon after all.

But you better behave yourself until then, or else I’m keeping it for myself, okay??

[meatcomplex-blog]

[That's a lie and everyone knows it, the complex oozes and froths from your entire being, big brother, you aren't good at lying or at poker, tsk tsk, royal flush] 

YEAH YEAH YEAH, A GOLDEN CHICKEN WITH....PURPLE GRAVY! AND MASHED POTATOES! Wait does gold and purple match....? [He scratches his head for a minute, distracted, then shrugs and beams] OH WELL, I'M SURE YOU CAN COME UP WITH SOMETHING GREAT, YOU ALWAYS DO! 

[Ace's words ACTUALLY GAIN HIS ATTENTION, HAAAAAAAAALLELUJAH] 

YOU MEAN YOU WILL!? YOU REALLY REALLY WILL?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, ACE YOU'RE THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST! [And so have a Luffy upon your person] 

I'LL HAVETA GET YOU SOMETHING REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY GOOD TOO, NAME IT AND I'LL GET IT! UNLESS IT'S WINGS OR A HEATED TOILET SEAT OR THAT PIE THAT WAS IN THE FRIDGE! OH you can have my bug collection if you want! 

[meatcomplex-blog]

swordsandbooze started following you

[swordsandbooze-blog]

[A monster in the fridge, of course… Zoro’s arms are crossed and he sighs from that obvious story from his captain.] “Yeah, I’ll be on the lookout for that, sure… It’s still nice knowing that we’ve got him around, though.” [Then he throws a jealous fit and shouts at Luffy.] “Oi, of course I’m sensible and I’m just cool as Ace! We’re pretty different guys anyway, so yeah!” [He huffs as his temper spikes, but Zoro’s just trying to calm himself down in the back of his head. That’s not really going as well as he’d hoped.]

“Eh? What do you mean he was here before? Franky and Brook, too? Why the hell didn’t they tell me about anything like that. I probably wouldn’t be in this mess if I was prepared about it earlier!” [Zoro’d have to give a good yelling when and if he got back to the ship. Well, except for Sanji. He’d just cut that lousy cook in half. But it was still suspicious that the crew members (even Sanji) never even mentioned a word about this place at all. Ah, you’re just thinking too much, Zoro. Now he blushes, Luffy’s hopes of getting all of the crew in one place together was something that Zoro (secretly) hoped for. …Then they wouldn’t be separated and all over the place, okay!?] “Uh, yeah… It’d be good to have us all here, I guess. Hah…” [He rubs the back of his neck and turns his head to the side.]

[No, wait. That temper spikes up again in a flash.] “OI, I WASN’T STUCK IN THE TOILET! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU KEEP GETTING THAT IDEA!?” [Zoro’s hits his noggin against Luffy’s own, hoping that’d get him to lay off. Maybe. And then he takes a step back and rubs at his temples, awkwardly blushing again, this time from Luffy’s confidence. Zoro always did admire that determination of his captain.] “Yeah, whatever, I guess you’re right… Even if it’s just you, your brother, and me, we’ll probably find some way out of this shit hole.” [And that reminiscent sound of Luffy’s stomach only has Zoro sigh, but he was obviously hungry himself. Shrugging, he agrees to go with Luffy.] “Yeah, why not? This place got anything good? They’ve got sake, right? Right?” [Dreams of booze, Zoro. Dreams of booze.]

[meatcomplex-blog]

Yeaaaaaaaaah, when you aren't sleeping you're a great lookout! We can always count on you! Maybe if you patrol reaaaaal good you'll be able to find the....sake monster too! [Now for an exaggerated wink, Luffy is just great at being subtle isn't he, and reading the atmosphere, that sorta thing

he moves to wiggle a pinky in his ear, the power of Zoro's shout dislodged some wax in there or something sheeesh. But he beams at Zoro all the same] Of course! You get lost going to the kitchen and Ace gets lost when hes going to find a shirt! Zoro is Zoro. None of that other crap matters, right? Zoro is a doooooooooooork! [Luffy sing songs and plays with his feet all manners and all that] 

Hmmm...I dunno! Maybe they hit their heads or something too and they just forgot they were here for awhile. You did too, when you were here before! And you don't remember being here, riiiiiiiiiiight? So it makes sense! [Yes Luffy, amnesia totally makes sense.] Mmmmhm, we'll all be together again soon! So don't worry so much, you big dork. 

[CLANG! goes their heads together, though it'll take a minute for Luffy to feel it]

WELL ONLY CAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED! I GOT THE TOILET PAPER S.O.S TO PROVE IT! [Luffy hollers right back, huffing glowering at his first mate

tch, Zoro you're so moooody] Moody buttface.....did Nami teach you that like Franky always said in those magazines?

[Welp, that didn't matter much. With a happy giggle he rises to his feet and delivers a punch to Zoro's arm in retribution....for now] Stuuuuuuuuuuupid, its not just us....two...three! It's allllll of us! There are lotsa people I've met here that I want as nakama! NO, THEY ALREADY ARE MY NAKAMA! And we're allllll gonna go together and that's final! Usopp can make us more room, right?

[at the agreement on the vast subject of food, Luffy begins to jump for joy. Literally. There might even be spittle] YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AND TONS AND TONS OF MEAT! LET'S GO LET'S GOOOOOOOO! [and though his powers didn't work, the tug he had on Zoro's arm as he attempts to drag him in the direction of food puts some of his own moves to shame. If you want that arm back you're gonna have to make a down payment for it in meat]

[innocent-ionian-blog]

“A buffalo whale…” [Ion repeats that animal name to himself. What sort of creature could that be? A buffalo with whale-like features? Or could it be a whale with buffalo-like features? Perhaps the bestiaries that Ion had read in Daath’s library didn’t have a creature like that recorded just yet. But as willing as Ion was to offer his dessert to Luffy, the boy with the straw hat refused, and the Fon Master felt himself in a difficult situation.] “I would love to compete with you for it, but… this is so difficult…” [He almost sounds like he’s making whimpering noises at trying to gain some sort of advantage in the thumb war. That wasn’t exactly going so well…]

[But Luffy’s kind and thoughtful words made Ion giggle and blush. He feels a kind of pep in his reply.] “I think so, too…! It’s almost as though you can taste the effort and love that person has for you in their meal. I really do enjoy that feeling when having those stews…” [But that sudden pep gently wilted when the Fon Master continued to reminisce about the past, and he quickly tried to get off of that subject. He nods to Luffy’s excitement but a sad expression rests in his eyes.] “Oh, yes… It really would be nice to have many copies of your friend all working to make you a meal. But it sounds like you have to be careful with taking food, unless you want to upset him.” [A little giggle from Ion as he tries not to hang onto glum thoughts. But this thumb war was only frustrating the Fon Master. He even stamped his foot on the ground like a child…] “This is too hard, Luffy…! If you keep winning like this, you’ll have enough dessert to feed you for an entire month…” [Ion’s fragile and gentle-moving hands and fingers were just too weak compared to Luffy’s rigid ones.]

[meatcomplex-blog]

UH HUH THEY'RE REAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLY BIG AND REAAAAALLLY TASTY! Or at least I think they'd be really tasty...I haven't had one yet! But some day, if there's a whale that's okay with detonating...donate? whatever, some of his meat, I'd like to try some! [He flashes Ion an even bigger grin and though the other boy seems to be having trouble against his onslaught, Luffy is persistent if anything, and claims victory over and over] And you can come have some too if you want! But you'll haveta do better than this if you wanna wiiiiiiin! 

Training! This counts as training sorta, and we'll do lots of it to make your thumbs biiiiiiig and strong! They're as big as lima beans right now! 

Uh huuuuuh, and even if sharing kinda sucks (I am a pirate, y'know!) eating together is the beeeeeeeeeeestestestestest! [Luffy scoffs and waves his free hand, clearly unperturbed] He's ALLLLLWAYS crazy about food, that's what makes him so great! But he DOES need to lighten up a little! The only times he isn't mad about food or me steal- uhhhh me...uhhhh....huuuuh.....guarding...the fridge....shishishishi- anyway, when he's not doing that, he's always twirling around with hearts and feeding the girls better food than ours! The buttface....but that's okay, I like all the stuff he feeds us! [He reaches over and flicks Ion gently on the nose, sensing something he couldn't quite put his finger on but he made an assumption and, well..] Heyyyyyyyy, food is a happy thing! Always! So don't get a tummy ache just yet, okay?

[At Ion's comment Luffy gasps, eyes as wide as dinner plates, nearly, and he beam] YEAAAAAAAAAAH YOU REALLY THINK SO?! LET'S KEEP GOING THEN, DON'T STOP EVVVEEEEEEEEEEEERRR, I'M GONNA GET ENOUGH FOR THREE MONTHS TWICE OVER! SO THAT'S LIKE....[He pulls his thumb warring hand away in order to count on his fingers, did he forfeit just now? Huh.] THAT'S LIKE NINE! 

[meatcomplex-blog]

swordsandbooze started following you

[swordsandbooze-blog]

[Zoro’s temper still looks like it’s being controlled pretty well, since he’s not throwing Luffy at a tree or anything yet… Oh, but Luffy mentioning his brother the swordsman’s attention.] “Your brother’s here, huh? At least he was a pretty sensible guy unlike someone else…” [He says and scratches at his head. Zoro was just gonna let that doctor badge thing go… And then he jerks his neck and glares at his captain.] “That shitty cook’s not here, right? Please tell me he’s not around, I really don’t need another headache.” [Geez, rude. His eyes almost look like he’s pleading for an answer.]

[But now Zoro’s too distracted by Luffy’s explanation that followed his playful insults to even do anything. Instead he’s just… standing there. He’s not mad, right? Right?] “So you’re telling me… a guy you really didn’t get a good look at went and just zapped us, took away your powers, and just stole my swords? That’s… That’s great…” [Zoro’s fists stay tightly clenched and he gives a sudden shout to Luffy.] “OI, OF COURSE I’M WORRYING!! This dumbass took my swords and probably got us in this shit hole in the first place! If he gets just a scratch on them, I’LL KILL HIM!” [Zoro stamps around like an angry (but well-justified) baby. A swordsman without the swords… But he figured he’d probably get over it, just maybe. It wasn’t like this guy would just laze around without getting his training done.]

[meatcomplex-blog]

Uh huh! He's here! He's gone a lot but whenever I go to use his bathroom and eat everything in his fridge- I mean.....patrol for the....monster that....eats everything in his fridge and uses all his toilet paper....I know he's still around! I can hear him snoring! [He whispers in an exaggerated 'inside voice'- so basically a hissing shout. Y'know how that goes.] The monster is really big and hairy and looks like a hippo and a...uhhh....a snail! Yeah! So be on the lookout, Zoro! [Head tilt] Sensible guys.....you don't mean you, right? You don't gotta be jealous Zoro, you're just as cool as Ace! Sorta. 

[Further questioning, here we go. Luffy pouts, hanging his head, lower lip jutting out] He was before but.....but now he's gone. So nope, he's not here....But I'm sure he'll be back someday soon! Franky and Brook too! They'll be back again and everything'll be really funny! And yummy! Not that it isn't now, but it'll be looooooads more fun with EVERYONE together! The others too! [And so, he beams] So wait a little longer and your frown'll turn sideways! [Once again Luffy misses the whole point and thinks Zoro misses their beloved cook. It's okay Zoro, there, there....]

[Welp, he should have known Zoro was going to freak the fuck out about all this, really. So he sighs and nods and plays with his own feet a little, its a good distraction okay. Then puffs out his cheeks and huffs] I was feeling all funny and couldn't see that good, okay? Jeez, the guy who got lost in the toilet is giving me crap about that....shishsishishishishi crap....Anyway, yeah, don't worry. [Turning his gaze to Zoro's less than amused face, he smiles, determination and confidence brimming in his eyes.] We'll get our stuff back and get outta here with allllll our friends, new and old! If he gets a scratch on your swords I'll let you take the first punch, yeah? It'll be fiiiiiiiiine. 

[And all of a sudden there's a rumble and a beastly growl. Luffy giggles and pats his stomach] I'm hunnnnnnnnnnnnngryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! You wanna get something to eat? 

[brothercomplex-blog]

[brothercomplex-blog]

[PREDICTABLY THINKS THAT LUFFY SHOULD STOP COPYING HIM WITH BEING PREDICTABLE!! COPYING WHAT YOUR OLDER BROTHERS DOES WAS ONLY CUTE SINCE NEVER. ALSO HOW DO YOU EVEN BURN WATER? EVEN I, WHEN I STILL HAD MY DEVIL FRUIT POWERS, NEVER DID SUCH A THING!!]

[Luffy is a good liar in the same way that Ace is good at pulling all-nighters.]

Yeah, yeah, it sounds like you got everything figured out now, huh? I’m real proud of ya, Luffy. Should I get you a gold star for this?? 

[meatcomplex-blog]

[PREDICTABLY SHUT THE HELL UP, DON'T ACT ALL COY AND KNOW IT ALL, SANTA DOESN'T LIKE THAT SHIT, IT DOESN'T GET HIS BEARD ALL HAPPY AND FULL OF FOOD CRUMBS AND- oh actually that sounds good BUT ACE THINKS ITS CUTE, FUCKING BROTHER COMPLEX, AND CAN BARELY OVERCUM IT, SO SHUSH! NO ONE LIKES A COY PIECE OF CHICKEN WING!!!!]

[He is really good at it, yeah! Luffy's tummy says as much when he fills it by pilferi- I mean borrowing things and rearranging things on Ace's plate while he's asleep but don't tell him that shhhhhhh]

A GOLD STAR?????? REALLY???????????? CAN I GET A GOLD CHICKEN INSTEAD?! You don't gotta stick it on or anything, just put it in my mouth!

[meatcomplex-blog]

swordsandbooze started following you

[swordsandbooze-blog]

[It looks like the veins on Zoro’s head are about to burst, but he tries to keep his cool. Tries is the keyword here. His eyebrow twitches, but he tries to reply smoothly.] “Yeah, I hit my head… Whatever you say… I’m just having an identity crisis…” [That temptation to take his captain and shake him around was rising, but Zoro did a pretty good job at restraining himself. At least he thought he did.]

[He looked strangely at Luffy trying to shake at his shoulders. What, no stretching for today? That wasn’t like the swordsman’s captain at all. But before he could ask anything, Zoro takes the straw hat kid’s words and turns around. Yup, more barren landscape. He stares absently ahead of him. And he’s still holding this guy in his arms?] “Well this place looks like a shit hole, if that’s the answer. Still not the place we were supposed to meet, but I don’t even know if that’s what matters now.” [A glance down at his captain. His hands let go of the rubber man. When he hears the thud, Zoro scratches his head and asks his question from before.] “Oi, you mind telling me why you’re not stretching around like you always do? …..Or why my swords are missing?” [The sooner he found out where they were and who possibly took them, the sooner Zoro could cut them up like a vegetable. A really unfortunate vegetable.]

[meatcomplex-blog]

[More tsking on Luffy's end and shaking his head and sighing. But he pats Zoro on the head much like one would pat a child] Weeeeell that's okay! Admitting it is the first step, y'know! That and getting meat to your doctor! That's me this time since Chopper isn't around! He gave me a badge for it and everything it's...uhhhh....well I ate it....[He giggles as Zoro turns the two of them around, then continues] It's actually pretty neat here! There's lotsa games and there's an Ocean too, and lots of people to play with and OH, OH ACE IS HERE! That's one of the best parts, and now you're here too, so it's even better!

.......Mmmmm, where were we supposed to meet? I forgot. I hope it was for a meat pot or something. Why can't treasure ever be meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

[He squawks as he lands, then halfheartedly kicks at Zoro's foot in retribution (for now), crossing his arms over his chest and pouting] Jerk! One sword! Buttface!  [He's actually a bit....cautious? No, maybe concerned about how Zoro's gonna take the news...he really cherished his swords, and while Luffy himself is...coping without his rubber powers, Zoro might just....] Uhhhhhhhhhhhh y'see we....this big flashy guy took 'em! My powers and everyone elses and your swords. But, but hey, now that you're here it'll be even easier to beat his ass and take 'em! So don't worry, okay? 

[laughingalonewithzelda-blog]

“You know they make bacon chocolate, right? Popcorn too,” Matt feels as though he might regret mentioning this, judging by the enthusiasm this guy  is already showing for the topic. Don’t want him to jizz in his pantalones or anything.

His stomach gives an audible grumble at all this bacon talk. It’s been too long that he’s been stuck here without bacon. Far too long, “Actually, that sounds awesome. I mean, this ringmaster’s a fuck, but he’d have to be a complete monster to not even leave some bacon around for us- Woahwoahwoah. Hear me out. I saw a funnel cake stand around here somewhere. Alright, stay with me. Stay with me. We find some bacon- Stay with me here. We get a funnel cake.. You see where I’m going with this.”

“Er.. Sure thing, kid. ‘Course I will. Who doesn’t love a good eating contest. Nothing like the smell of sweat, processed food and vomit.”

[meatcomplex-blog]

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT, NO WAY! HOW COME NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THAT WAS OKAY?! I TRIED PUTTING BACON IN COTTON CANDY ONCE BUT THEY TOLD ME IT WAS....uhhh what was it....? Socially...something or other, it was too long and I got bored....ANYWAY, AN WE DO THAT TOO, HEY CAN WE CAN WE?!

[Don't be surprised if you notice Luffy jumping up and down and clinging on and drool splattering about, it's really best to just try and back away slowly, don't turn your back on him though]

[His eyes and eyes and stomach, pretty much everything, perks at the new noise and it isn't long until his own stomach gurgles like a wild beast in agreement

but he's for once rapt at attention on Matt's words, mostly on the funnel cake words, and nods, strings of drool shaking off in the movement] Uh huh, uh huh, so we....

uhhhhhhhhh

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

WE DO A WEDDING FOR THE FUNNEL CAKE AND THE BACON AND CATER IT OURSELVES?!

[Makes sense, right]

[meatcomplex-blog]

swordsandbooze started following you

[swordsandbooze-blog]

[So, Zoro’s still standing there. Holding Luffy. Basically bridal-style. And on top of that, he’s listening to his captain chat on and on without even answering his question. His eyebrow gives a sudden twitch before scolding Luffy.] “OI, I DIDN’T GET LOST OR UN-LOST! I just found my way here probably from that witch navigator’s shitty directions! AND I WASN’T IN THE TOILET, WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT STORY FROM!?”

[At least on Zoro’s timeline, he was just safe and sound some hours ago on the ship before splitting up with the crew to meet in some jungle-looking place or another. No toilets included.] “AND I DON’T HAVE ANY MEAT!” [He lets out another burst then sighs after. And he’s still holding this meat-lover?] “I really don’t know what’s going on right now…” [But whatever was going on, it was only pissing off the hot-headed swordsman.]

[meatcomplex-blog]

[Luffy tuts and pulls his arm around to wag a finger at Zoro, scolding him in return] No need to be embarrassed Zoro, I already know your sense of direction sucks butt! I probably should have taken you to the bathroom myself and held your hand on the way there....[His expression is thoughtful, concerned, and most of all disappointed on the lack of meat. He also forgets that his sense of direction is just as shitty, naturally] Anyway, you totally did go to the bathroom before! You were here before! Did you hit your head or something....? Siiiigh, clumsy!

And of course you didn't get un-lost, that'd be like you not being yourself! DON'T HAVE AN IDENTITY....CRISIS THINGIE ZORO! OKAY! [Cue the former rubber boy taking Zoro by the shoulders and shaking them. Or at least trying from his vantage point] 

Tch, no meat?! You're a shitty houseguest! We gotta learn you some proper etiquit! Etti..whatever that stuff Sanji always went on and on about! Anyway....turn around. And look. You'll get your answer. [Luffy, being cryptic? Nope, not at all]

[meatcomplex-blog]

swordsandbooze started following you

[swordsandbooze-blog]

[So the swordsman with the green hair finds himself walking around some part of that barren landscape. Not wandering. Just walking around. Of course. He kicks at a rock with a booted foot and frowns at just how honestly crappy this place looks.] “What kind of hole did I get myself into…” [He groans. Scratching at his head. Now he takes a step. And just as the next one is about to be taken, there goes the sound of a familiar voice of someone screaming at the top of his lungs slamming his ears. Zoro looks into the distance to see none other than his dummy-head captain running full-force at him.] “L-Luffy!? What the hell are you doing he-” [Oh, too late. Already holding this guy in his arms.]

[With his captain squirming around in his arms, Zoro couldn’t just drop him on the ground. Could he? No, for now he looks down at Luffy. As much as he would like to smile at having his partner in this place so he’s not a freakish loner, Zoro’s much more concerned about how he got here too.] “Oi, what’s going on here, Luffy!?” [He shouts. Some little drops of spit fly out of his mouth.] “This place sure as hell doesn’t look like the place Nami told us to meet.”

[meatcomplex-blog]

[Nope so basically Luffy is ranting and chattering away a mile a minute and possibly but really most likely getting his own spittle on Zoro so it's really no big deal. He squirms in Zoro's arms and clings to him and beams like the ray's of the sun]

ZOOOOOOOOOOOROOOOOO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FINALLY GOT UN-LOST AGAIN! YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM OR SOMETHING THAT TIME AND THEN YOU NEVER CAME BACK!! I almost got some buddies of mine to search the port-a-potties for you but I figured you'd come back eventually!

So what sorta adventures did you have in the toilet? [Now comes the eager questioning] Did you get any yummy food? Meet cool people? Like toilet mole people and stuff? OH AND MEAT?! DID YOU BRING ME MEAT?!

[Priorities, first mate. Cap'n has them.]

[laughingalonewithzelda-blog]

Matt never knew that his eyebrow could continue to raise at such a steady rate before talking to this guy, but sure enough it’s still on the rise, “Pudding, huh?.. You know, may as well try it. I can’t imagine anything tasting less good with bacon,” though it seems like something he’d be more likely to enjoy while baked out of his mind, the idea still seems more appealing by the minute and he can’t help but speculate aloud, “I wonder if there’s any bacon around this place…”

His voice and face are completely expressionless, “Yeah, kid. You win. Congrats,” however Matt finds himself chuckling a few short moments later, “Oh yeah? Well, if you ever do get the chance to eat a wizard, let me know. I’d love to see that.”

[meatcomplex-blog]

Then you've gotta crappy imagination! You could put bacon in bread, and donuts and soups and potatoes and sausages and meat balls and pastas and cakes and allllllllllll kinds of things! [Luffy's exuberant and hefty list could go on, it really could, but you know I'm running out of food groups. So Luffy bounces on his heels excitedly and beams at Matt with all the colors of the wind and stuff] 

HEYHEYHEYHEYHEY IF THERE IS, WE SHOULD GO GET SOME AND PUT IT INTO ALL THIS YUMMY STUFF! GREAT PLAN, RIGHT?! [Forget Jack Frost nipping at your...anything, have a Luffy all close and personal] 

WOOOOOOOOOT, I WIN, THAT'S RIIIIIIGHT~ I SURE SHOWED YOU MY DUST! [Or however that phrase goes. His expression is determined if not a bit hungry] I will! You'll be there cheering me on, right coach? 

[innocent-ionian-blog]

[The rumble of the straw hat kid’s stomach surprises the Fon Master. His head looks left and right, wondering where that sound came from. Left. Right. Left. Right. Down? He realizes the source of that noise came from Luffy, and Ion bursts into laughter. Of course it’s still a rather soft one, but he almost looks like he’s in tears.] “That was your stomach, Luffy…!? You really are hungry, aren’t you? Um, but I wouldn’t mind having something to eat with you…! You can have my dessert, though, I don’t mind!” [The Fon Master hums in affirmation. His eyes look reminiscent of something.] “Oh, yes, the high members of the Order and myself had our own cooks, and so the meals we had tasted very good. But, um… I don’t really mind if the food comes from just a normal cook or even someone without experience! A dear friend of mine would make me stews when she had the chance, and they always had a very comforting taste and warmth… I’m probably just feeling a little bit homesick, so I apologize for that. Um, but your Sanji friend sounds like he must be a skilled cook himself…! Of course you’ll have a chance to try his food again!” [That little reminiscing brought Ion’s mood just a bit down, but Luffy’s sudden excitement made him feel obligated to keep his spirits high. Ion was sure he’d return home someday, or at least he hoped…]

“Oh, yes, let’s try to find some ingredients sometime…! The more the better, I say. We can all have something nice together that way…!” [His mood lifts again, and Ion looks back down at the thumb war, his own finger pinned down again. And aching.] “It’s… very hard…” [He mutters, freeing his trapped thumb and going in for a chance at Luffy’s.]

[meatcomplex-blog]

[Ion's giggles are quickly joined in my Luffy's own loud and echoing laughter] YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A BUFFALO WHALE! [His big, bright eyes and the accompanying drool is quick to clear up any confusion as to just how hungry he is. But that only half distracts him from the task at hand, the noble war of thumbs.] Mmmm nawwww, it's no fun unless I win it (or swipe it off your plate when you ain't looking) so we both gotta do our best, okay!? And then we can go get alllllllllllllllllllll the meat we want! 

[Luffy had to agree with him there. He pins Ion's thumb again but quickly pulls back in a defensive maneuver, well no more like his thumb had a bit of a cramp but its all the same here, his tongue sticks expertly out of the corner of his mouth] Having food made by friends is the best! Sure it may taste like boiled poop, but doing stuff like that together is what makes your friendship really take off! Like a bird! But heeeeey....you had more than ONE cook?! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, YOU'RE SO LUCKKKKYYYYYYYY! IF I HAD A BUNCH OF SANJI'S TO DO MY COOKING I'D BE THE LUCKIEST GUY AROUND! 

....Mm, probably the luckiest guy with the most lumps in his head from kicking though....uwaaaaaah but think of all the fridges we'd have then! LOTS AND LOTS TO RAID!

We'll have lots and lots and it'll be really big and great! If there's a lotta ingredients that means it's gonna be a big meal! [Pinned ya again!] 

[meatcomplex-blog]

swordsandbooze started following you

[Whatever magic that usually notifies the prison- er, performers of their new fellow carnies is unusually slow- no well it's no surprise how slow it is to reach Luffy, who has spent the afternoon that's quickly bleeding into evening sauntering around the circus, ravaging vendor's hard earned meat and searching for meat treasure.

So he's walking around, some sort of bone sticking out of his mouth (possibly chicken but I wouldn't rule out human either) and there

in the distance

he spots something

is it a bird

is it a plane

is it tree poop

no!!!!!!!!

he'd know that shade of green anywhere

the grumpy walk 

the giant forehead as smooth as a baby's ass]

GREEN EGGS AND HAM-

I MEAN

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!11

[Dear Zoro, have a running, jumping, shrieking captain who quickly runs up, jumps into your arms and wraps his non-rubbery limbs around you, brought to you by the carnie foundation. You're welcome]