@25...
On the day of my birth, 25 years down the track I sit and ponder life and what it means to me. The experiences, all of them, the highs and lows, the days that just seem to slip into an unconscious state of mind and disappear into the river of time that gathers speed as each second ticks by. I often ask people "what is your earliest memory?" for me, one of the stand out moments I can recall is from when I must have been about two or three, I recall everyone in my family bustling about with their daily routines, cleaning, working and everyday chores. I recall asking my mother "when do we just stop, when do we just live" she chuckled as she said "we always have to work." I remember this moment because of its particularly crushing feeling, heightened now by age as I know first hand of how true it is. Sadly our generation has been fed this entitled ideal that we can do whatever we want and be whatever we want to be, but somewhere along the way we overlooked that everything good has to be worked for, and worked extremely hard for at that. This being something none of us signed up for and hence are stuck in a depressing cycle of motivation, demotivation, dreams, inpatients and so on. So far in my short 25 years, I have had quite an uneventful life, all the people I hold dear still wander the earth with me, I have a steady job and a good car. I have friends, old and new. I've had lovers and nights filled with lust and I've traveled to parts of the world that would give Romeo and Juliet plight to awaken from their deathly slumber. Though things may not be as I had pictured them as a fifteen year old, for one, I had expected to be married by 24, I'd thought I would have figured out what I wanted from life and would have had a quite confidence that nothing could snuff out or waver. Now 25, I have never experienced this so called "love" everyone goes on about, I'm still as uncertain as to what I'd like to do and my confidence comes and goes in waves. But I'm ok with this, everyday I'm learning new things, like how I can still stutter through a normal sentence and then get shivers when my voice takes over and says the most magnificently structured sentence with big words that work together, while my brain just sits back and has an out of body experience. I suppose what I'm saying or rather what I'm feeling, is that the world is a big messy ball of uncertainty, an unorganized chaos. Dream, dream big, dream loud and dream plenty, but don't fall for the trick of the easy road or the wait and see bench. Work for your dreams, work hard and long, but don't lose sight of what's important along the way and don't feel guilty for taking a moment to look at the world. While it may be chaos it's a beautiful one. Most importantly, don't forget to breath. Just breath... Everything is going to be ok, you're doing better then you'd realize.