I'm So Metal

I'm Alex. I'm 23 I mostly just come here to vent cause nobody reads my blog.

[brutalbetch]

I hate that I have to wake up and face my sober self

[brutalbetch]

Drugs sound cool too.

[brutalbetch]

Im doin’ ight…

Just want someone to be ight with.

[brutalbetch]

How do I keep ruining my life as it is on a daily basis?

[brutalbetch]

Just cause you won’t admit to it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. You’re only fooling yourself.

[brutalbetch]

When I was young I’d sit and wonder how it felt to live in existential pain...

Whelp...

[brutalbetch]

Wrote in my journal for the the first time in 5 1/2 years.

BOY DID I HAVE SOME SHIT TO SAY.

[brutalbetch]

The songs and the movies finally make sense.

[brutalbetch]

I’m such a fool. I got played. Thought I really had a keeper and idk how I’m supposed to trust someone again.

[brutalbetch]

Just left wondering how much was a lie. How long did you you think it was fair to just take from me?

[brutalbetch]

[brutalbetch]

Fun Fact

My relationship of seven years is likely ending tomorrow.

[brutalbetch]

Idk why my birthday is so depressing this year.

[brutalbetch]

My closest friends want to die.

And idk how to convince them that suicide isn't an option when I can't even convince myself. I say what I can but I'm afraid it's not going to be enough.

[brutalbetch]

So I have this friend…

…and every time we hang he just acts like an asshole, brings up shit that he knows full well I'm not interested in (even though we have common interests) and talks shit, then claims he never said any of it, and constantly asks me when I'm leaving from the moment I walk in the door… then this kid has the audacity to ask why I'm such a "shitty friend" when all I do is try to make due with what he gives me or treat him how he treats me. I have plenty of anxiety and my own shit to deal with without him acting totally irrational but I love the kid too much to cut him loose… Any time I try being real with him or try being nice he acts like we don't even know eachother. He LIVES for pity and constantly wants people to feel sorry for him when most of his issues are self inflicted like mentioned above. I don't have the energy for this anymore…

[roxilalonde-deactivated20251105]

when i say “i don’t like drama” what i really mean is “i don’t want to have my own drama.” your drama, on the other hand,  

[kidmograph]

[brutalbetch]

Normally this type of shit makes me cringe, but damn I'm feeling this one.