Exploring a Brutal Bias

[brutalbias]

Will the last naked person on Tumblr please turn off the lights?

Today’s surge of posts is a non-curated dump of everything in my drafts and most of the stuff in my likes. Now to backup the site before the tumblr pornpocalypse. Been through a couple of these purges before. At least we have warning this time, unlike, say the Ragnarok of the original Yahoo Profiles back in the early 2000s. It’s been fun, Tumblr. Look forward to rediscovering some of you kinky maniacs on whatever comes next.

[sluttychallange]

[cherishedproperty]

Punishment

In all our time together, I only got the belt twice. The belt was for broken rules, reserved for the worst offenses. If I got mouthy or let protocol slip, he’d give me quiet reflection time. Kneeling with hands behind my back and nose to the wall, thinking about my actions until the timer went off. Then I’d write a letter detailing what I’d thought about and why my obedience mattered. 

But the belt was a different kind of correction. In position, no warm-up, full strength. The tears began almost instantly, progressing to screams and full-body sobs by the time he finished. And then he scooped me into his arms and held me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe. I nuzzled against his chest as my heart rate began to slow. I closed my eyes and listened to his soft voice.

“Daddy’s here. All is forgiven. I’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

From the outside, punishment may be the hardest thing for people to understand about D/s relationships. Why would a strong, independent woman willingly submit to a man beating her for breaking what seems like arbitrary rules? I see three important functions for punishment. 

Remembering it’s not a game. This dynamic is built on responsibility and accountability. Dominants and submissives each have responsibilities to one another and to the dynamic. But nowhere is that more apparent than when a rule is broken. It’s easy to make a submissive wear a plug on a date or deny permission for an orgasm. But punishment is hard. It’s unpleasant. But without it, the dynamic is just dress-up. Being punished reminds me that the power exchange is real, and that I can trust my Dominant to hold me accountable. 

Reconnecting with my role. It’s rare for me to break rules. But when I do, it usually means that the connection hasn’t felt as present for me. I forget an instruction, or even worse, I question it. Then when I realize I’ve disobeyed, I feel even worse. It is hard for me to feel submissive with the cloud of disobedience over me. I’ve stepped outside my role. I struggle to connect with my Dominant because I know I did something to undermine the dynamic. 

By submitting to the punishment, I remember that I am choosing this. I remember that I don’t have to follow rules or submit to this person, but I choose this life because it fulfills me. I choose it because it’s how I feel loved and at peace. Punishment can be awful. But it reminds me why I kneel. It helps me to reconnect with my purpose.

Knowing I am worth the effort. It is so much easier for a Dominant not to punish their submissive. It’s easy to excuse the behavior. Maybe the submissive has been under a lot of stress or had a bad day. Maybe the Dominant hasn’t been as engaged as they’d like to be. But no matter the excuse, I need to know that I am worth the effort to correct. Perhaps that correction is a discussion, not a punishment; it’s not my place to decide what’s warranted. But I need my Dominant to acknowledge my misstep and take action accordingly. 

I feel awful when I break a rule. And if my Dominant doesn’t correct me, I feel unseen and unimportant. I need to know that my Dominant cares enough to hold me accountable. It’s easier to let it slide. But a good Dominant will choose the more difficult path because it’s better for me and for us in the long run. I put a lot of effort into my obedience, but I fall short sometimes. When I do, I need to know that my Dominant will step up. I need to know that love and ownership aren’t just for when I’m perfect. I need to know I am worth the effort to correct. 

Punishment is deeply cleansing for me. I don’t enjoy it. I don’t want it. But I need it. I need to trust my Dominant to hold me accountable, and I need to accept responsibility for my actions. After, I can return to my place at their feet with renewed commitment to the role I cherish so much. 

[object-cunt-deactivated20180607]

RULES

The object may not touch its cunt until the specified date.

The object must have a plug in its ass for no less than 6 hours a day.  

The object is not allowed to wear panties under any circumstances.

The object should be completely naked when it is possible.

The object must spend at least 20 minutes a day working on stretching its primary hole- its ass.

The object may not eat with cutlery at a table unless it is impossible to do otherwise. The object is expected to eat naked, with no hands from a dog bowl on the floor.

The object is only allowed to consume 1500 calories/day and must obtain permission before eating more- up to 2000 calories/day. Go to http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/katievander to check up on this.

The object may not drink anything except for water or black coffee (or piss), except for the occasional glass of wine if it has permission to indulge.

The object must exercise for 30 minutes a day, at least 4 days a week.

The object must spend at least one hour a day torturing its tits in some way- tying them up, clamping the nipples, beating them, ect.

The object must drink 2-3 liters of water a day.

The object must spend at least 30 minutes a day pumping nipples

The object must be hair free underarms and below waist (pussy, ass and legs)

The object must tape up its cunt everyday

The object must come on tumblr and make posts everyday (including one image of the object as well as a check in on rule compliance)- a missed day equals 3 extra days of denial.

[femalelivestock2]

The most dedicated anal object is back!  Now it isn’t allowed to touch itself until 2019.

[femalelivestock2]

HERE IS IT IS THE ANAL OBJECT POST

[dominantlife]

Updated Library For Kinksters

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline

Topping from the bottom

[humiliatorofsubs]

“Worthless”

I do not like the concept of someone being “worthless” in the context of BDSM, it’s not something I have ever said to a sub and it’s not something I enjoy seeing. I’ll preface all of this by saying that I can understand hypothetically why that term could be appealing to people in a humiliation context, but it’s just not for me.

If you have ever so much as glanced at my blog, or even read the title, it shouldn’t be hard to see that I am very interested in humiliation. Some of my absolute favorite things to do in a D/s context are to piss on a sub and make her make out with my ass. In that context I may call a sub my urinal or ass licker, and it might be all I call her that whole day.

So you might ask if you are willing to piss on someone and call her a urinal, then why not worthless? Two reasons:

1) Whether you are dripping in piss or you have your head shoved up my ass, that doesn’t make you less of a person. I may make her do degrading things, but I never think less of her as a person because she is doing something I want her to do, if anything those are moments where I praise her, for doing things that are difficult to endure, because they please me. That’s absolutely worthwhile.

2) I think that any good humiliation has to be rooted in some level of truth. If I call someone a urinal for example, there’s truth to that title. It might be degrading to hear for her, but that’s because she knows there is truth to that and so do I when I say it. If I were to say someone was worthless, I wouldn’t believe that and wouldn’t want her to believe it either, which is not effective in creating the mindset I want.

I get on average 4-5 messages a month from random people on here where in their first message they describe themselves as worthless. I understand that they usually think they are demonstrating that they are interested in humiliation, but it’s not appealing to me. Quite the opposite, when I first get to know you I want to know all of the things that make you worthwhile, your skills, your talents, along with your faults and flaws, but when the first thing you tell me is that you are worthless, it makes me wonder than why I should take my time to respond to you. When I look for someone, I want someone who is going to add to my life, enrich it in various ways that I might choose and that I can do the same for her.

So while I fully support others using those types of phrases in their humiliation play and can understand the appeal, it’s not something for me. I don’t think people are worthless, I certainly don’t think being a submissive negatively affects your worth as a person and if I did think you were worthless I certainly wouldn’t have interest in speaking to that person let alone considering them as a partner and/or submissive.

[dirtykarissa]

[humiliatorofsubs]

“Worthless”

I do not like the concept of someone being “worthless” in the context of BDSM, it’s not something I have ever said to a sub and it’s not something I enjoy seeing. I’ll preface all of this by saying that I can understand hypothetically why that term could be appealing to people in a humiliation context, but it’s just not for me.

If you have ever so much as glanced at my blog, or even read the title, it shouldn’t be hard to see that I am very interested in humiliation. Some of my absolute favorite things to do in a D/s context are to piss on a sub and make her make out with my ass. In that context I may call a sub my urinal or ass licker, and it might be all I call her that whole day.

So you might ask if you are willing to piss on someone and call her a urinal, then why not worthless? Two reasons:

1) Whether you are dripping in piss or you have your head shoved up my ass, that doesn’t make you less of a person. I may make her do degrading things, but I never think less of her as a person because she is doing something I want her to do, if anything those are moments where I praise her, for doing things that are difficult to endure, because they please me. That’s absolutely worthwhile.

2) I think that any good humiliation has to be rooted in some level of truth. If I call someone a urinal for example, there’s truth to that title. It might be degrading to hear for her, but that’s because she knows there is truth to that and so do I when I say it. If I were to say someone was worthless, I wouldn’t believe that and wouldn’t want her to believe it either, which is not effective in creating the mindset I want.

I get on average 4-5 messages a month from random people on here where in their first message they describe themselves as worthless. I understand that they usually think they are demonstrating that they are interested in humiliation, but it’s not appealing to me. Quite the opposite, when I first get to know you I want to know all of the things that make you worthwhile, your skills, your talents, along with your faults and flaws, but when the first thing you tell me is that you are worthless, it makes me wonder than why I should take my time to respond to you. When I look for someone, I want someone who is going to add to my life, enrich it in various ways that I might choose and that I can do the same for her.

So while I fully support others using those types of phrases in their humiliation play and can understand the appeal, it’s not something for me. I don’t think people are worthless, I certainly don’t think being a submissive negatively affects your worth as a person and if I did think you were worthless I certainly wouldn’t have interest in speaking to that person let alone considering them as a partner and/or submissive.

[threefacedgenius]

[used-trash2]

Okay but when people use the excuse:

“Sometimes we get carried away,” like what’s so difficult about NOT being a fucking creep? I get horny and manage not to send creepy unsolicited messages because I “get carried away?”

Like that’s kinda subtley a rape-culture way of thinking. Have a wank, and re-evaluate your self discipline because y'all clearly lack it.

Worlds thinnest arguement. Stfu.

[brutalbias]

Dudes: you are not a werewolf, and an erection is not the full moon. You are still you and still culpable for your actions even when horny.

Reblogged because this always pisses me off too.

[trvshfuck420-deactivated2015013]

[brutalbias]

A note about messages

Please don’t take it personally if it takes me a while to respond when you message me. My activity on this site is intermittent. So while your words are always welcome, if they seem for a time to be met with only silence, just assume it’s because I’m too distracted having outrageous, nearly-unthinkable sex to get on the computer.

[traineroffuckmeat]

[brutalbias]

I miss OhHowDegrading

I didn’t agree with her political philosophies, but that’s fine. Her writing was hot as fuck, and she was laudably fearless in articulating her beliefs. As far as I can tell, she was shut down because she was so avowedly antifeminist, and a group of feminist bloggers recruited each other to report her for spurious terms of use violations. As a feminist myself, I thought her male chauvinist screeds were incorrect, but I enjoyed her verve. An intersectional feminism that doesn’t allow individuals to engage in self-aware sexualization of inferiority narratives about their own race and gender is a sad, quavering thing. One that lacks the strength of its own convictions.

[brutalbias]

I’m very pleased, given this post from a while ago, to discover that OhHowDegrading is back, as ThatsJustDegrading. Primarily picture curation for now, with the same admirably depraved taste as before. I do hope she’ll begin speaking her mind again; the text posts were always my favorite part.

[herdirtylittleheart]

[brutalbias]

[brutalbias]

Story Time

Finding an amateur petgirl picture of a doppelgänger for my ex has reminded me of a time, years ago, when I was looking for porn and found instead video of a different ex. Not a woman who looked like her, but her. It was someone's personal BDSM site, with the sort of curated image galleries that used to exist before Tumblr and other social sites consumed that part of the electronic landscape. One of the sections was a page of favorite kinky but non-pornographic material. On there was a student film starring my ex, in a catsuit, wielding a whip.

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to encounter an estranged ex while browsing for material to help you get off, I can tell you it's really not that great. The uncluttered psychological space one clears for fantasy and self-invention does not well withstand such an intrusion. Getting off did not occur that day.