queer submissive in my 30s. she/her. owned and loved by my Monsieur. in a D/s dynamic based on equality and respect. not exactly nsfw, but adult themed. 18+ only.
my writing. asks. other good writing.
To make this blog a bit easier to navigate, here is a (somewhat) brief list of my writings, sorted by topic. My full set of writings can be found here, with ask responses here and brilliant writing from others here.Ā
Updated November 2022
General D/s Mechanics
D/s Hierarchy ā and some updated thoughts
Lean In ā and some updated thoughts
Things I Got Wrong about D/s
Ask: What are goodĀ āstarting outā rules?
The D/s Contract
Punishment
Why I Use Safewords (Even With Trusted Partners)
Asks: Starting out in D/sĀ (including a D/s 101 ask)
Asks: Why D/s is right for me
D/s and feminism (and why D/s is not the same as traditional gender roles)
Submissive and Dominant Roles
What Drives Dominance
What Drives Submission
Power Exchange is My Orientation
Submissive Does Not Mean Passive
Submissives Abhor a Power Vacuum
Needy
The Double-Edged Sword of Brattiness
A Story of Dragons, or How I Rediscovered My Littleness
Ask: Why I donāt call myself an alpha submissive
Things I have learned in six months exploring kink at a local sex club:
I donāt find every body sexually attractive, but I do find all bodies beautiful.
The more bodies I see in states of undress, the better I feel about mine.
I love watching people react to stimuli. Laughing, calling out, shivering. The way muscles jump or goosebumps form. The way someone rocks up onto their toes into or out of a sensation. The looks on their faces. It feels like an art gallery.
Honesty means admitting that you want something.
Honesty also means asking when you donāt understand and seeking to learn with an open heart.
Admitting that you want something means someone might give it to you.
You can ask for anything you want as long as you can take the answer being no.
Most people want a connection, and most people want to meet you on your terms. People who know their needs and limits are the safest people Iāve met.
Stephen Sondheim was right: scary is exciting, and nice is different than good.
It is very funny to tell people I took my car for a light sensation scene when I get it washed.
Monsieur surprised me yesterday by picking me up at the airport after my work trip. I am the luckiest girl. š Canāt wait to marry him one year from today!
The way he wraps his arms around me and reaches inside my robe to run his hands over my breasts and my soft tummy. The way he kisses and nibbles my neck while I dissolve into squeaks and giggles. The way he wants so badly to take me but allows me to drink my coffee and enjoy the quiet, because he knows thatās a rare thing for me.
I love the way this man loves me. And Iām so lucky to be his.
as a masochist it is your duty to make sadists feel comfortable expressing their desire to hurt people. if im allowed to say "i should be getting cut open and have my organs fondled bloodystyle" sadists should be able to say "i should be cutting someone open and fondling their organs bloodystyle". SADISTS GET BEHIND ME. i Will protect you
The hate and distrust for sadists just baffles me. Like.....ok you wanna be hurt and used and raped and destroyed but like WHO DO YOU THINK IS GONNA DO THAT IF YOU MAKE THE SADISTS GUILTY????? HMMMM??? I swear. Why does your positivity and support not extend to them??? Especially femme sadists???? Like think about what you're saying when you equate femininity to weakness and submissiveness! You're hurting the femme sadists. You're scaring the valuable femme dommes and making them guilty!!
Be nice to your sadists. They are all good and precious and special.
Monsieur said when he read my piece The Slow Unfurling of Sadism, it was the first time he felt seen and valued as a sadist. There is often a deep emotional awareness in being a sadist. Most sadists Iāve interacted with have always been very cautious to make sure the pain they inflict is wanted and consensual. Sadists, you deserve to be treasured.
P.S. That post was originally inspired by a femme sadist I was seeing at the time. Itās hard to be a sadist, but hard in different ways for men and women.
Drinking my morning coffee in bed, and Monsieur has fallen back asleep next to me. Heās holding my butt. Every now and then, I feel a little squeeze. This is happiness.
Pro tip: If you have some clear liquid in a small bottle on your bedside table, make sure itās lube before applying it to genitals. And maybe donāt keep hand sanitizer by the bed, just to avoid the risk.
You can also TEXT "START" to 678-678 or go to their website! There are 700+ of you following me. You don't need to be from the US to reblog this. Reblog.
How do you tell a man you want to have sex with him without just grabbing his dick? It has come to my attention that I am bad at signaling sexual interest.
so many ppl on tiktok will be like ālook at my epic style glow up omg my style used to be so cringeā and it just shows them wearing clothes that were in fashion in 2015 and then clothes that are in fashion now like baby thatās what happens when u donāt have ur own sense of style
got called āomg vintageā by a secretary in training at the dentistās office on sunday because i wore a shirt that was in style five years ago like. maāam i bought that in 2016
okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he canāt remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD.Ā
so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that heāll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was likeĀ āoh, so this is a recurring theme in my lifeā and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.
so he moved out this way and started hisĀ ādick-sucking careerā anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he wonāt cut it off and run or something
also as this is happening iām waiting on x-ray results so iām just. there lmao
and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.
and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways
the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were notĀ āsafe metalsā for metal detectors (ābecause DIY punks are hotterā was his reason??) and he was likeĀ ādo i take the dick one out tooā (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking aroundĀ ālike a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teethā until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him āfor some hot young thingā
so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!
and then, #4, was on sunday. he was soĀ āinspiredā after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that heĀ āwent too hardā at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was likeĀ āi was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.āĀ
and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i donāt have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID
also this was told by the most middle-aged, boring looking man on earth. like picture an accountant, but gay and VERY clumsy and funny
ābi people center menā well no, youāre perpetuating the idea that bi men are really just gay and bi women are really just straight. And also maybe hot take itās not a bad thing for a person to be attracted to and love men and it doesnāt make said personās love for and attraction to women any lesser. You just see bisexuals as tainted and dirty.
Monsieur has officially been away from me for a full week. I think thatās officially the longest Iāve gone without seeing him since early covid. Itās too long. š¢