It's kind of crazy how online connections work..
We decide how even though we are traumatized, and broken, and we tell ourselves we will never fully trust,
Here We Are.
We decide to put ourselves out there, to let someone in..
We find complete strangers, Other humans, or they by chance find us, and they speak to us and some part of our soul and say:
'Hey, I want to know you, I'm not afraid of your dark, your scary,
the stuff you keep deep inside yourself and don't tell the world, the things that keep you up at night with tears in your eyes.. yeah, I want to know it all..'
.. And just like that, Eventually we believe them, because we are creatures searching for connection.. searching to be understood...
Even if we have been programmed to feel over and over again to feel as if we don't deserve it, or that we are too burdensome,unworthy for one reason or another.
We choose to believe that this human wants to finally show us what is it like to have someone understand us, We make that connection...
We cut ourselves open, Like a cadaver on a table..
Exposing every vulnerable part of ourselves..
Our darkest thoughts, Our traumas, Our Fears... and Our secrets we don't want anyone else to know,
But there we are, exposed, vulnerable, to this connection we now .... TRUST... and why?
For How Long?
Ultimately, only until the need wears off...
The need for connection, from you, from them..
No matter how much you put into them, You never know how long they are going to last, and you never know if the trust and love you built on your end is evenly matched,
So where does that leave you?
... Right back at where this started.
Broken, Losing Faith, No trust... Searching for connection..
this endless loop that seems to go on forever.
So here I am.
Instead of leaning on connections I never seem to be able to find, or keep.
I am here.... Exposing my soul to a blog.
Putting my thoughts, emotions, Goals, and everyday ramblings to a keyboard...
to remind Myself where I am now, and where I am heading...
To show myself in a year, two years, three years..
LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
And you did it alone. You did it for you.
Anyone that may stumble across this,
It's nice to meet you,
I cannot promise what you might see.. or what kind of shitshow this page might be.
It's literally going to be a dump of all my likes, dislikes and just whatever I want...
Just my little slice of the internet.
All me, all the time, in the raw....
Brutally Brutus ♥
blakekathryn
snowghoul
vaporwave
gracieabrams
amandla
pixelskylines
yousharknotpass
dailybridgerton