soft breaths

bryson scott. 25. charlton u. english major, music lover, i like to think drumming relaxes me.

[maialancaster-blog]

If Maia was trying to move on, then she was currently doing a bad job at it. Being around Bryson made her heart skip a beat and she felt like she always did whenever she was around him, the break up hadn’t changed even if there was a part of her that wished it had. He had been her world at one point and all she had wanted to do was make him happy. “Thank you, I appreciate that,” she smiled softly. “They said I’m incredibly strong and I’m allowed to reward myself with as much chocolate as I wish. Okay, they didn’t mention the chocolate part but we’ll keep that between us.”

[brysondalescott]

Feelings didn’t change easily, hat had started to change was Bryson’s way of dealing with them. At some point after their break up, he had realized that they needed space and it wasn’t just because of him. Their relaitonship had moved too fast and he wans’t reconsidering it, he actually stil lvery much loved the girl in front of him but they didn’t need each other. “That’s awesome, Maia.” He grinned at her, nodding his head lightly. “Well, chocolate has always made you feel better.”

[reagan--cooper]

Reagan laughed lightly returning his hug. “My minds been somewhere else i’m sorry.” She apologized. “How are you? It’s been way too long you know.” 

[brysondalescott]

“It’s cool. I’ve been okay, I actually just came back from home so, yeah.” He hadn’t intentionally pushed people away, but Bryson had definitely needed to step down from all the drama that his break up with Maia had caused.

[maialancaster-blog]

Maia kept the smile on her face even if she felt her heart drop in her chest. She hadn’t seen him around campus for quit ea while but then again her mind had been occupied on other things and people. She’d spent a lot of time with Tommy lately, patching him up and arguing with him mostly. But she had to remind herself that she was mad with him, she however was not mad with Bryson right now. They may be cousins by they were entirely different. “Oh,” she looked at the cigarettes and nodded slowly, not wanting to tell him that it was bad for him, he already knew her view on that. “I certainly do feel healthier and better. Thank you for observing,” Maia smiled. 

[brysondalescott]

Bryson took off his sunglasses and smiled softly at her, glad that was the case. Their break up had ended up being really har and all over the place, but Maia seemed to be better. Hell, she seemed better than he was. Moving on was harder than people had told him it would be. "I-I'm really happy that's the case, Maia." He admitted softly, pocketing his sunglasses and then looking back at her almost shyly. "What have doctors said?"

[reagan--cooper]

“Oh my gosh! Don’t sneak up on people like that, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” Reagan complained holding her heart as she basically jumped out of her own skin. 

[brysondalescott]

Bryson couldn’t help but laugh a little, moving to hug her gently. “I’m sorry. I just got excited.” He said playfully, since it had been so long since he had seen her. 

[maialancaster-blog]

As she was walking out of Winston Hall, a strong breeze snatched up one of her papers which led her going on a wild goose hunt trying to get it back. She let out a sigh of relief when the paper landed on the floor and Maia crouched down, grabbing the paper before standing up and almost jumping back when she noticed she was standing rather close to someone. “Oh! Sorry…the paper, it ran away from me.”

[brysondalescott]

Bryson would lie if he said he hadn't been keeping his distance since his break up with Maia. He'd went back home for a couple of weeks, had told Warren that it was about check ups with his doctor and visiting, but really, he had just ran away for a little while. He'd needed it. And coming back, he had decided that keeping his distance from Maia made more sense. He was not expecting her to end up running into him, but then again, that was exactly how they had started anyway. "Uh...no, it's fine. I was, uh, distracted." He explained, showing her the pack of cigarettes before he put them back in his pocket. "Um...you're...you look better. I mean, healthy and stuff." He said slowly, definitely taking advantage of the fact that he was wearing his sunglasses and scanning her face with his eyes slowly.

[drewwroy]

[howeverlongs]

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you.

[brysondalescott]

Text: Bryson ↔ Warren

Warren: That's understandable. Though you're more than welcome to swing by with us, if you want.

Warren: I didn't think I'd go but Evan asked so we may just go say hi to some people. Nothing big.

Bry: I'll think about it

Bry: I'll get the house all to myself so I mgiht take advantage and go crazy on the drums!

[brysondalescott]

Text: Bryson ↔ Warren

Warren: I think I'm going to pop by, though not sure I'll attend for long.

Warren: What about you?

Bry: No, I doubt it. Don't wanna have to explain things to people mostly.

Bry: If you guys are oging I might swing by.

[naomitalbot]

“You’re not going to jail,” Naomi laughed. “It’s just keeping look out. I think these bastards changed the security, so I need to check something on their computer real quick,” her eyes looked towards the person standing in front of the office door. “You’ll be fine, I promise, all you need to do is tell me whenever someone’s coming.”

[brysondalescott]

“Ha, so this is what you needed a friend for? Breaking rules, Talbot. I’ll call you that from now on.”

[argentinianvicario]

“Oh, what? No kiss goodbye?”

[brysondalescott]

“Uh, yeah. Kissing our cheeks it’s not something guy friends do around here regularly.”

[brysondalescott]

the takedown / warren + bryson

[warrendturner]

He nodded without hesitation. Warren had never been much of a shy person, but his drive to get ahead had always kept him too occupied to really make friends. Bryson had been an exception in many ways for him, that one included. Yet he had full faith that his best friend could manage to balance the social life he already had with his newfound workload, even if it took some effort. But for a short while, Warren knew he needed to focus on a less appealing topic. His only hope was the conversation might not need to take too long. There was little for Bryson to say, and he knew that, even if he hated having to direct such a discussion. His friend deserved the truth after all of these years, and that knowledge was what encouraged him to keep talking.

“I don’t feel bad about it. Not anymore. At first I felt like it would be bad of me not to go… A surprise, really. I always figured I’d immediately reject any idea of returning,” he admitted, growing quiet again. Though Bryson and his family were incredibly generous, Warren had never once gone to see them at their home since college began since he couldn’t bring himself to go back to Texas. That he’d even consider a need to do so when it involved his own parents shocked him. “Maia came in right after I got the letter. I… I kicked my desk. I’ve never-” Warren cut himself off, knowing he didn’t need to tell his best friend about how avidly he avoided violence. His shame was far too prevalent at the moment. “She knows the truth. I didn’t really tell her much, but we talked a little. I’m going to try talking to someone. A professional. But I thought I should talk to you first. Not that I particularly want to chat about any of it. But you’ve… you’ve been there for a long time.”

[brysondalescott]

Bryson couldn’t even imagine how tough it had been for Warren to talk about it with Maia. He hadn’t even actually told Bryson about it, and he had always figured that being friends with someone that couldn’t see had been a saving grace for Warren while he lived in Texas. Even now, they knew that Bryson knew but he had never said it out loud. Bryson was proud of him, for looking for help, for wanting to always be better. “Feeling bad...it’s part of it. But it’s not something that you should feel guilty for, War. You know how...selfish they are. It’s okay to look after yourself, it’s important that you know that.” Bry said softly. He had learned that recently. sometimes going along with things was’t good and Warren deciding not to go was his safest decision.

“I think you owe it to ourself to now that violence is sometimes...a part of who we are. Being upset and hitting things, it’s different to...him, Warren. It’s not the same thing and you should never compare them.” He was slow withhis words, knowing  damn well that Warren was completely diffrent to his parents. He would enver hurt anyone on purpose and that was something that anyone that had met him could tell. “I think professional help is a good thing if you’re comfortable enough. You know, maybe they could help you forget that for real, get rid of some things...it will be good for you.”

[owencdawson-deactivated20160820]

They were over an hour into auditions and Owen’s hope for finding a replacement drummer was dwindling with each passing performance, or in most cases a lack thereof. Some were on the better end of the spectrum, but he and the rest of the band didn’t believe they would be the right fit. It had come to the point where Esme and Jasper needed to leave for class and Owen was left to judge the rest of the auditions himself. Spinning a pencil between his fingertips, he propped his feet onto the table and sat back in his chair before calling in the next person. Owen recognized the guy who walked in as Maia’s ex-boyfriend, and though she was someone he knew well, the two had not exchanged more than a few words. “Uh…yeah, so the audition process is pretty simple,” he explained. “Feel free to play whatever you want.”

@brysondalescott

[brysondalescott]

Finding your true calling hadn't been a problem for Bryson until he lost his eyesight. Before tht, he had always knew that he wanted to do music. English was something that came along when he learned how to do Braille and wanted to make things easier for othe rpeople that were like him. Drumming took a second place for him, but deep down, he'd always wanted to be able to do it again. He'd learned and even now, didn't even bother to look at what he was doing, but doing something as auditioning for an actual band, was never something tha tooccured to him until now that he saw the open auditions. He'd seen Owen around, pretty sure that Maia knew him too, so all he did was and then sit t the drums, taking his drumsticks easily. "Okay. Hey, I'm Bryson and this is Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day." He mumbled, since he had his own version of it, something that he could improvise a lot in and was a slow song that he could really get into and after taking a deep breath, began playing.

[brysondalescott]

“And you don’t think I loved you. Is that what this is?” Bryson asked lowly, his face  amask of sadness as he tried ot figure her out. Maia was always coming and going about her feelings, and he knew that he hadn’t done much to save their relationship either. But Bryson was the kind of perosn that focused on feelings. It something didn’t feel right, it would take time to make it be fine again. He knew that both of them had messed up greatly, hell, he didn’t even think there was anyone to blame for this. Like he had told her, they were at different places in the ri lives and needed ot figure things out to see if what they had was real. Because at some point, it had stopped feeling real. “I wasn’t trapped, Maia. And you knew how I was when we started dating. Or maybe you didn’t, maybe we moved too fast, that’s true. We are very passionate people, we are extremely intense in different ways and I’m sorry that I do a shitty job at showing you how I feel. I didn’t say anything but I tried to make things better. I went to your room, I I tried talking to you. I made plans for us…it just-it wasn’t enough at the time.”

He looked down at his lap as she spoke up once again, his heart breaking all over again. He couldn’t do this. It was ahrd and it was unnecesaary. IT was evne harder to hear her say that she loved him after what had just happened, because Bryson…he didn’t beleive her anymore when she said it. Because he loved her, but it didn’t feel as if she did. Even if she kept crying and if she kept saying it, actions spoke louder than words and what she had done with one of her friends right after their break up, it was doing the exact opposite of what love was. Bryson would never do that. Bryson would never sleep with someone to stop thinking about her even if it hurt like hell. “I don’t blame you for leaving. I don’t even blame you for sleeping with Aaron. I don’t blame you for blaming me for this. But you have to admit…that we weren’t happy, Maia. And right now…we won’t be happy, even if we’re in love, okay? And I know you feel terrible for what you’ve done…so I’m giving you all I can give you right now even if I know it’s not my place. I broke up with you and…I broke your heart, you’ve said it plenty of times. So I’m sorry, Maia. I really am. If I could change things I would. But there is no going back now…at least not- not right now. And I hope you forgive me. It’s not my place to forgive you for what you did with Aaron. It’s not. We weren’t together anymore…and it’s not my place. Does it hurt? Of course it does. I still love you. That’s never, ever going to change. I will always love you, no matter what.” Bryson said softly, sniffling a little and swallowing hard as he looked at her face. “I know you want forgiveness. And I forgive you, I’ll give that to you. I don’t want you to think about how it hurt me or not. You need to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and it’s okay, Maia. You’re still one of the best people that I know. It doesn’t change because you did something that hurt me.” He whispered, blinking at her several times.

[maialancaster-blog]

Maia had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry. When she’d heard he was coming to visit her, she’d tried her best to appear happy and to keep that smile on her face. But as soon as they both started talking, it hurt her all too much and she couldn’t stop the tears from falling from her eyes. She’d promised Bryson she’d never hurt him and yet she had done just that. She’d hurt the only man she loved. “I know you loved me, I know that. You didn’t show it as much as I wanted you to but you loved me, it was the only thing I was sure of for so long. I was afraid you’d leave me and I was the one that ended up leaving you instead.” Her shoulders slumped forward and she allowed the tears to fall this time, letting them overwhelm her as her brain tried to think of something she could say to make all of this better. There was nothing she could say to make him feel good, she had lost him for good now. Maia had lost the one person she never wanted to hurt.

Maia winced at the mention of Aaron’s name and she dropped her gaze to her own hands, afraid to even look at him. “I didn’t mean to,” she said quietly but quickly stopped herself from saying anything else about the matter, it wasn’t going to make him feel better and she didn’t want to make him feel worse. Maia had let her insecurities get in the way and she’d let herself do something she couldn’t even imagine doing with another guy. This was her fault and he could forgive her as many times as she wanted, she could forgive him as many times but it was still her fault. This was all happening because of Maia and there was nothing she could do about it. The brunette needed to make it up to him, she needed to fix her mistakes and prove to him that her love was real. “I forgive you, Bryson,” Maia whispered, her gaze lifting to meet his. “Hurting you was never my intention and yet I still did that. I know there is no excuse to make whatever I did better or right. I hurt you and it breaks me to know that I hurt you. You probably don’t even believe or trust me anymore it’s alright. I’ll leave you alone,” she sobbed. “I won’t go near you, I won’t even show my face to you and you can move forward in your life. You can find a girl that will love you, a girl you’ll believe when she says how much she loves you. I’ll pay off my debt by leaving you alone and removing myself from your life.”

[brysondalescott]

Bryson felt terrible. A part of him didn't know what else to say or do. He wasn't blaming her, he hadn't blamed her any time and yet she kept doing it. And Bryson couldn't handle this. He didn't want to feel pity for her, he knew that she was capable of understanding that she needed those very same things too. Maia had always had him in some sort of pedestal and truth be told, Bryson coudn't live up to it. He felt pressured and he didn't want to feel bad for not being able to give her what she wanted. Bryson had forgave her, but he couldn't forget it. He couldn't forget the fact that she had done something like that even if she regretted it. "Stop, Maia...I'm not blaming you. Stop acting like I'm blaming you for this. We are both to blame, and we are both trying to get over this and to feel better. Stop feeling like you're a terrible person. I don't think that. And you shouldn't either."

He sighed loudly and shook his head stubbornly, moving to stand nxt to her bed, his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and swallowing hard. "I don't want to hear you say you're in debt to me, ever again. Never." He said softly, frowning and then finally taking a few steps back. "Being together right now is doing nothing but hurting you, Maia. So yeah, we need to keep our distance. I'm not gonna go out looking for some girl, I'm not looking for love. I just want both of us to be okay." He licked his lips and then looking down at the groun for a moment before looking back up at her. "I'll see you around, Maia. I hope you feel better, I know you will. And you'll get to do all these things that you want to do, to help people and to graduate." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, swallowing hard. "We'll talk later." He mumbled softly.

[sadlerkatrina-blog]

katrina chose to refrain from bringing up the boy’s breakup, instead figuring that focusing on lighter matters would do him some good.  ❛ how did you lose your eyesight, if you don’t mind me asking? ❜  she questioned, almost regretting it, hoping she wasn’t making him too uncomfortable.  ❛ i guess i will, then. ❜

[brysondalescott]

"I was born with a condition that made my eyes slowly stop functioning. Until I was fourteen and couldn't see anymore." Bryson explained easily, far too used to telling the story these days, he actually almost said it with a smile these days, because he'd managed to overcome it. "You do that. You'll love it. And you can also come check out my band next time we're playing somewhere. It'd be cool."

[housesharerp-blog]

Her head tilted to look at him as the blonde’s head shook from side to side. “Of course you don’t sounds ridiculous. I know how that feels, but eventually light comes through and the trapped feeling has to end. If you want more though, never stop trying to reach your goals. Sometimes good things happen and start to make everything clear when you least expect it.”

[brysondalescott]

Bryson sighed softly, looking ahead for a few seconds before turning to look at the girl with a small smile. "Yeah...thank you for saying that.I'm working on it. Being a better person, following my dreams. I just don't know how to do both, I guess."

[maialancaster-blog]

“I do trust you,” she replied softly, remembering how she had said the same words to him when he’d carried her the other night. “And we have to make sure this hospital keeps up its good reputation.” Maia wanted to turn her gaze away, she wanted to look elsewhere but she couldn’t. Maia found her eyes fixed on his, they were the eyes she gad stared into for so long, the eyes that she had found comfort in.  The brunette remained silent, her brain struggling for words as he spoke. “But I loved you Bryson. I loved you with everything that I had and that I still have. I loved you as much as my shitty heart would let me.”

She looked away from him, focusing her gaze on something else - it was too painful to look at him after everything she’d done. Maia had to forgive herself, she knew she had to. “I just wished you had mentioned something sooner, Bryson. I’m not a mind reader. It’s easy to know what I’m thinking, anyone can tell how I’m feeling by my expressions. But you….you’re just so quiet, you keep how you feel hidden from me. I’ve searched your face so many times to see if I know what’s going on with you without asking. I’ve tried. And I just wished I had known so I could fix something, so I could help you. So I knew you weren’t trapped in a relationship you didn’t enjoy anymore.” Maia blinked the tears out of her eyes, she’d suffered too much to settle for something so little. Her words were now honest. “I moved out because it was easy. I didn’t want to break up with you, I didn’t want to lose you but you needed this. And I couldn’t keep you in a relationship you weren’t happy with. So I left, I know it’s the wrong thing to do, but I did. It would have been too hard for me to see your face everyday and to see how much I love you but know that I can’t have you. We said that we would do things together, Bry. But we didn’t. You made this decision and I agreed even if my heart was not in it.”

[brysondalescott]

"And you don't think I loved you. Is that what this is?" Bryson asked lowly, his face  amask of sadness as he tried ot figure her out. Maia was always coming and going about her feelings, and he knew that he hadn't done much to save their relationship either. But Bryson was the kind of perosn that focused on feelings. It something didn't feel right, it would take time to make it be fine again. He knew that both of them had messed up greatly, hell, he didn't even think there was anyone to blame for this. Like he had told her, they were at different places in the ri lives and needed ot figure things out to see if what they had was real. Because at some point, it had stopped feeling real. "I wasn't trapped, Maia. And you knew how I was when we started dating. Or maybe you didn't, maybe we moved too fast, that's true. We are very passionate people, we are extremely intense in different ways and I'm sorry that I do a shitty job at showing you how I feel. I didn't say anything but I tried to make things better. I went to your room, I I tried talking to you. I made plans for us...it just-it wasn't enough at the time."

He looked down at his lap as she spoke up once again, his heart breaking all over again. He couldn't do this. It was ahrd and it was unnecesaary. IT was evne harder to hear her say that she loved him after what had just happened, because Bryson...he didn't beleive her anymore when she said it. Because he loved her, but it didn't feel as if she did. Even if she kept crying and if she kept saying it, actions spoke louder than words and what she had done with one of her friends right after their break up, it was doing the exact opposite of what love was. Bryson would never do that. Bryson would never sleep with someone to stop thinking about her even if it hurt like hell. "I don't blame you for leaving. I don't even blame you for sleeping with Aaron. I don't blame you for blaming me for this. But you have to admit...that we weren't happy, Maia. And right now...we won't be happy, even if we're in love, okay? And I know you feel terrible for what you've done...so I'm giving you all I can give you right now even if I know it's not my place. I broke up with you and...I broke your heart, you've said it plenty of times. So I'm sorry, Maia. I really am. If I could change things I would. But there is no going back now...at least not- not right now. And I hope you forgive me. It's not my place to forgive you for what you did with Aaron. It's not. We weren't together anymore...and it's not my place. Does it hurt? Of course it does. I still love you. That's never, ever going to change. I will always love you, no matter what." Bryson said softly, sniffling a little and swallowing hard as he looked at her face. "I know you want forgiveness. And I forgive you, I’ll give that to you. I don't want you to think about how it hurt me or not. You need to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and it's okay, Maia. You're still one of the best people that I know. It doesn't change because you did something that hurt me." He whispered, blinking at her several times.