Meanwhile

Aged GenXer, I invent things

[buckandduke]

out of the blue

ex work crush texted me the other day. Ten years after we worked together.

She asked if I’d be willing to give my recommendation to her looking at a new position. Of course.!

every night since I’ve dreamed of her.

damn Sam. she still has me on some level. Best collaboration in my life. I’d do it again in a heart beat.

best ever partnership.

Why does it still hurt?

[buckandduke]

I’m not dead yet.

My grill is worn out. Tonight was kielbasa kebabs. With pineapple and peppers. I’ve been nursing it along each week saying it’s my last. I’m not dead yet.

[buckandduke]

ahi with ginger-garlic-lime, peppers, pineapple and shallot.

Oh and cows say hi. Spot the two calves for bonus points.

proof of life. Eldest daughter turned 40 yesterday. I’m old but still kicking.

[buckandduke]

Vegas baby

heading to CES. First time. Heck I’m almost 64 first time for everything. I get to run demos. Oooh aah maybe even dine with ceos and other c/suite folk if I’m good. I’ll manage. probably door dash. lol

pray for me.

[buckandduke]

strange times

signed a waiver to be filmed for social media commercial at CES by my company. Weirdly strange. Like i need to be on tik tok or x. Seriously strange.

[buckandduke]

too long

been too long since I posted. Much water under the bridge. been hosting my best friend once a week for dinner. He lost his wife in august. It’s there but the grace of God go I. His wife had the “mini farm” Dream, not he. We Helped him disburse the animals, reduce the work, now it’s down to clean the place up to sell., I get it. It was her dream, not his. He supported her in it, and now he’s seeing the real cost. The recurring subscriptions for special feed, special supplements. All had to be canceled. It’s sad seeing the money wasted. Hard watching him face the disconnect with his own spouse who tried to fill up her life with things. Every animal had to have special treats, special stuff. Indulgences that he would never have done. He felt he couldn’t say no. She was her daddies princess after all. I’m sad. i live on a farm. It’s not my dream. But I choose it every day. I pay out, i put up. When she dies I’ll disburse the machines, animals, accoutrements. There are no indulgences here, no waste . we can’t afford that. Everything is calculated, tallied, depreciated, down to the dogs that protect the stock. life is hard. it’s supposed to be. Otherwise it would be easy and where’s the challenge in that?

[buckandduke]

putting out

dusting off my resume. subscribing to professional linked in

had a not meeting with my new boss and the in and outgoing team who’s who. Apparently the guy who complained enough to get them to add me to his team also decided it was time to leave, along with three others. Clear indications that aspiration does not equal execution. So I’m part of the “A” team now. But the position isn’t supposed to start until the 20th and I have until the end of the year to transition all my accounts. But there is no one to transfer them to, nor is there a job requisition. So, I’m putting out feelers. I do not want to be chewed up. I watched the description of my new role morph depending upon who it was being introduced to. Maybe they’re waiting for me to say nope, not doing that. It’s just exhausting. I’m being invited to join all kinds of meetings for the new job and declining most of them until the 20th. Ok so yeah second largest customer. Everything is high stakes. My salary needs a bit of adjusting upward I’m not built for that stress without compensation. I’m going to set a meeting next week to force the issue.

argh. So tired.

[buckandduke]

My niece’s wedding cruise from last night. Boat wedding. Cocktails, ceremony on the sun deck, cocktails, dinner, toasts, dancing, cake. Lots and lots of dancing. She’s the daughter of my best friend, who is now married to my sister. Norwegians, Peruvians, Irish, Germans, English, mad mix. Great fun! Congrats Sophia and Bruno! I think I need new dancing shoes!

[buckandduke]

New job

taking a new role at work, instead of regional, I’ll have one worldwide customer. To say they’re big is a serious understatement. I’ll be working as ww power architect for their business. Bosses boss says I can do a lot more “damage” there for the company than my regional role, where he thinks I’m wasting my real talent. Weird choice of words. I guess he means winning back business, besting competition, bringing 40 yrs of cutting edge engineering experience to bear on solving problems by defining solutions instead of just peddling parts.

New role, more pay, new title. I’m on the tech track rather than manager although I will manage progress of the world wide team. Global baby, going global. We’ll see how I do.

[buckandduke]

dinner

Salmon squash and halibut for the halibut.

[buckandduke]

goodnight

said goodbye to my best friends wife today. 35 year friendship through thick and thin. Our kids grew up together. She was like a second mom and will be missed.

[itscyran]

REBLOG IF YOU USED TUMBLR IN 2011 - 2013

If so, you knew how turnt Tumblr use to be

[buckandduke]

unexpected

didn’t expect that Tuesday would be last time I saw my best friends wife alive. We were at the cabin for the annual maintenance. last week. got a text from my son last night. His friends mom had been rushed to the hospital. she fell off a ladder picking apples. Branch broke, ribs broke, head hit the ground. I pray she didn’t feel it after that. Barking dog alerted the family some time later. Her husband found her unconscious and not breathing, no pulse. They resuscitated her, paramedics transported her to Seattle. She never regained consciousness, no pupil movements, no brain waves. They’re debating on when to pull the ventilator. Devastated.

Our kids grew up together. She was like another mom. Family. Gone in a moment. So sorry.

[buckandduke]

a happy place

I’ve given up on my happy place, I don’t think it exists. I’m going to choose instead “a happy place”.

Looks about 10” sq x 12’ . I think I can get 10 2x6 out of it. Enough frame 1 wall of the addition. Yay. Douglas fir for the win

[buckandduke]

dinner is served

Brats, corn, zucchini. Not shown, 82 degrees. Breezy. Got the dock piling poured. Yay Day.

[buckandduke]

taking a few days off.

This lake cabin used to be my happy place. Now I’m choosing to go here to work one week per summer on things that are broken. So much of my life is problem solving for other people and fixing things other people break. I have been fighting this all my life, now I’m choosing to embrace it even though it’s leaving me in such isolation. It’s always been like this. The autism sucks. I need to face the reality that I’m not built like others I don’t relate. I don’t have the drivers or the patience for bullshit. Sometimes I’m the one who needs fixing. It’s been wicked hot for PNW but I’m making it work. 94 in the shade. Tomorrow is piling repair on the dock. Looking forward to cooler time in the water with concrete forms. Yay. I’m weird.

[buckandduke]

L’il buddy I’ll miss you

was a wreck of a way to end a week, sitting in the vets office signing paperwork. Cremation, yes. Urn, no. He didn’t look sick at the moment, but with no functioning kidneys his organs had run out. He’d perked up from his bed when I grabbed my keys, one last trip to the vet. He loved the vet, lots of people who talked to him and rubbed him and loved him, the little extrovert was in heaven.

June had been brutal. Bad breath and low energy, shaking when he got tired. All symptoms had been missed by two vets. Kidney failure, likely antifreeze poisoning. One or two tablespoons is enough to kill a small dog and he was small. A week and a half in doggie er, thousands of dollars and 6 weeks at home care getting 200ml subcutaneous saline IV to flush him out. That’s a lot and he carried on like a trooper. Far longer than he should have been asked to, but we were trying to make up for the mistake of not taking catching it sooner. So very very sorry little guy. His last hour was happy and as he lost energy and waned fast we let him go. Goodnight sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.