Listen, I’ve seen it been said a few times on twitter that Wei Wuxian views kindness as something that is conditional and in turn, is something that needs to be repaid. This view also extends to his view on love. By love, I’m talking specifically about people and how they love him.
Look, I headcanon that Wei Wuxian’s love for Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng is different from the way they love him, why?? Because he was raised to love them in order to protect them whereas they grew to love him on their own. Jiang Fengmian found Wei Wuxian and brought him to Lotus Pier, introduces him to his kids and just provides him with the necessities, but Madam Yu resents Wei Wuxian for what he represents. He is proof, at least in her mind, that her husband is never truly hers. She is not kind to him. She does not treat him like the others. She is quick to remind him of his place and remind the other members of the family of it as well. He is there to serve them in whatever role is expected of him. He knows his role and how he fits or doesn’t within their family. He knows that he is given the things he has because he is useful to them. He may be the first disciple, but he is still the son of a servant. This also is the reason he is so willing to sacrifice himself, but that is for another time.
This is especially shown when the lives of Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng are thrust into Wei Wuxian’s hands. Despite the fact that he was whipped, without a sword, and also losing his home, he was expected to put their lives above his own in order to keep them safe. Although some would be at a loss with this sudden responsibility, he only allows himself to grieve for a small while before he throws himself into the position. This makes you wonder just how many times before he had been expected to put their lives above his own. How many times has this boy been told, has been shown, that his life is worth less than theirs??
This all ties into Wei Wuxian’s denseness when it comes to Lan Wangji and his feelings. Yes, Lan Wangji is a man of few words and his facial expressions are hard to decipher for others, but also Wei Wuxian didn’t realize that he could actually like him because that thought never crossed his mind. How could anyone like him when, in his eyes, he hadn’t done anything to be deserving of it?
Love and kindness is always attached to something for him. It is something you receive when you do something for others. It’s a reward for being good and useful to those around him (see: how the cultivation world, despite fearing him during the sunshot campaign, did not turn on him until he was not in use and would not allow himself to be used by other sects). With Lan Wangji, all he ever did was annoy him and then later on fought with him. Sure they had their nice moments, but did it really outweigh all the bad?? Probably not. So how could this boy, who had this lesson that love is something that is not freely given but is something that is conditional, ever think that Lan Wangji could feel this way about him??
It would be interesting to read fic about Wei Wuxian learning that love doesn’t need to have any strings attached. It’s not easy to unlearn something that has been such a key element to your belief system, but I think with Lan Wangji and the juniors Wei Wuxian can learn that he deserves to love and be loved in return.
