Out of Focus
Summary: Alfie gets too caught up in his YouTube endeavors that he forgets his girlfriend’s birthday.
Warnings: Angst, no comfort
Word count: 785
As Alfie’s YouTube career began to take off you couldn’t be more proud of him, he was finally out of his warehouse job doing something that made him genuinely happy. Although going deeper into his career, gaining more fame your relationship with him began to deteriorate.
Between his constant back and forth from London to harrogate, as well as endeavors out of the country for shoots with other content creators. Quality time between the two of you became almost non existent.
He was so caught up in limelight lately that I don't think he even noticed how often I was left behind. There was always somewhere to be, someone to see, another shoot or a last minute plan with the boys that he couldn't miss.
Besides I never wanted to be the girlfriend who complained about it. I knew how much his friends and his work meant to him, and I knew he wasn't deliberately shutting me out. Still, there were nights when I'd sit alone, watching his name appear on my phone in between messages about where he was going next, and I'd wonder when exactly I'd stopped being part of his plans.
It wasn't that he was choosing everyone else over me, not consciously anyway. It was just that, somewhere along the way, I had become the person he assumed would always be there when the cameras turned off.
It wasn't until my birthday that I finally realised just how far things had drifted.
I wake up to an empty bed that morning, sunlight spilling through the curtains and the quiet hum of my phone vibrating against the bedside table. For a moment, I smiled, expecting his name to be there. Alfie had always been the first person to wish me a happy birthday, no matter where he was.
Much to my dismay, not a single notification from him. There were messages from my friends, family, people I hadn't spoken to in months. I answered them all with little hearts and thank yous. Putting the phone down taking a deep breath before letting any tears fall, he’s probably just got caught up in a video.
A minute later my phone buzzes on the nightstand,
Alfie
Hi love, sorry got called to do a shoot for Chris should be home soon. Love you ❤️
A frown appears on my face, not a mention of your birthday. Has he seriously forgotten. Maybe he'd planned something for later, he wasn't the kind of person who would forget his own girlfriend’s birthday.
Except, as the hours passed, that was exactly what began to feel had happened. You try not to let it bother you, ordering some comfort takeaway, putting on a film he'd been promising you would watch together, and spent the evening curled up on the sofa beneath the blanket he'd left there weeks ago.
At 11:47pm just as you begin to doze off, you hear the door knob twist. The excitement Alfie walked through the door with disappearing the moment he saw your face. “I’m so sorry,” he says quietly, his voice full of regret. “I swear, I didn’t mean to forget. After the shoot I got caught up” “I- I can make it up to you, I promise.”
You stare at him unimpressed, hurt written across your face. A hurt that went deeper that one forgotten birthday. “It’s to late Alfie” you sigh “it’s not just today, the shoots, the fans, the attention, they’ve been taking more and more of you away. I get it, it’s exciting for you hanging with the creators you used to watch when you were younger, it’s a completely different world from what we’re used to. I keep telling myself it’s okay because I know how much this means to you, but forgetting my birthday? That was just the icing on the cake.”
Alfie opens his mouth to apologize again but the words get caught in his throat, you were right, there was nothing he could say or do to amend the moments you had spent feeling like you came second to a life he was becoming to caught up in.
For a moment, neither of you say anything. You both knew that an apology couldn't erase how long you’d felt forgotten. “I can't keep waiting for you to remember me,” you express softly before turning away. He watches as you walk towards the bedroom door, shutting it gently.
Standing in silence for a moment a hand runs down his face in guilt, finally realizing that the one thing he'd been so busy trying to build, the life everyone else could see, might have just cost him the person who had been there before any of them were.