Collected Quotes From Retail

If it’s here a straight white man prolly said it

[bullshitcustomerssay]

The more I ascend in retail hierarchy the more I relate to Emily Charlton from DWP

Rapid fire lists? Normal

Learning the job with barely any training? Obviously fine

Small talk about coworkers lives outside of this place?

I don’t want to hear it, and I don’t want to share

Hazing of new hires because why should they get the kid gloves I didn’t?

Yeah, I mean duh

[evidently-endless]

being offered ai at every turn

[allsonargent]

Tina Fey as Liz Lemon in 30 Rock (2006—2013)

[dailycatsblog]

[bullshitcustomerssay]

Hey y’all, in case you weren’t aware:

Most clothing retailers do not hire professional cleaning services

Any cleaning usually falls on the associates

Please don’t leave, say, gum or bandaids or diapers or SAND or whatever the fuck creative trash in dressing rooms

Even if you think there is a cleaning service

That’s just the height of disrespect

If you have trash in public and don’t know where to put it, please ask us

We will be more than happy to help, it is not shameful to ask

It is shameful to leave it behind

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[curioscurio]

Break Room Comic #1

[bullshitcustomerssay]

Overheard at OfficeDepot:

Some Old White Guy: I’m here to pick up. *clearly annoyed he had to wait* Why is it never at the pickup station?

16 yo girl: *ever so politely* Because when you place the order online the first option is “at print desk station” which is here at the desk, and the second is “at print pickup Station” so if you want to have it there you have to select the second option

Him: No *storms off*

Me: wow

[samreich]

new meme format just dropped template here

[bullshitcustomerssay]

How is it possible in the year of our lord 2024 that we still receive calls asking where we’re located? And it’s always from people older than the internet. Presumably they got around just fine prior to gps.

Also, if you managed to get our phone number, our address and directions to us would be corresponding information. Like, the phone number didn’t just come to you in a vision, you didn’t suddenly learn it as if through osmosis.

In conclusion, don’t call places because you’re too lazy to look at google maps. We are already holding so much emotional labor and we do not need your interruptions for the most simple of things.

[sawtastic-sideblog]

Hi, as someone who works in retail if you come up to me on a Saturday or whenever there are so many people in the store you can't get even fucking move (especially during the holidays) and say "y'all are busy today" I will take your knee caps, turn them to a lovely pair of earrings, and wear them in front you. Thank you. Have a BLESSED night.

[charlesoberonn]

[bullshitcustomerssay]

The man who just walked in the door:

You work here? Good good. So I bought some shoes here and I need new laces. But I’ve checked three other stores and they all tell me you don’t sell those, so it’s ok if you don’t have them I just don’t know where else to get them I got these shoes probably 2 years no 3 years ago they’re kind of soft and like woven Cole Haans I think doesn’t matter if the laces are brown or black but I do want longer ones maybe 42 inches all I see is 36 inches which is too short I have wide feet these are the only lace up shoes I own you know and I got them with a suit and you know what? The dry cleaners lost the pants! It was a Ralph Lauren kinda grayish anyway I came in this was maybe a few months back to replace them and they told me there weren’t many but you know what? They were on clearance in a 38 which is my size and they are already hemmed so I called up your hub and they sent me the pants to the suit and they fit perfect I don’t see any of the people here who helped me with that but I guess if you don’t have the shoelaces maybe I’ll check Target or something

Me, behind the front desk at the register with a customer on hold, the little red light blinking like a bomb, and upwards of 6 full table setups to remerchandise:

I’m sorry, did you need my help with something else?

[bullshitcustomerssay]

A customer will come in to complain about nearly everything they can to get any kind of refund they want and you can be cheerful and nonchalant while informing them of every policy that exists that doesn’t allow you to do anything and they will say “wow, you need to work on your customer service, I bet you haven’t been doing this long!”

And what they really mean is “I can’t believe you didn’t let me make you flustered enough to give me want I wanted!”

[bullshitcustomerssay]

Hey if you’re an office employee or government employee or a 9 to 5 and you get Labor Day off

Couple things:

1. Labor Day is supposed to be a day to remember the struggle for workers’ rights and the honoring of unions and is therefore a day to abstain from capitalist spending

2. Retail and gastronomy workers very much resent not being included in this group

3. 15 years ago my company was open for limited hours for this holiday: 11am to 5pm. Then it shifted to 10am to 6pm a few years later, and now it is 10am to 7pm. This trend is BECAUSE they set Labor Day promotions and use the profit numbers to justify the “extended” hours

4. I am not sure that this is a trend across the board, I am just pointing it out in this very specific case

5. This indicates an ever growing attitude from corporate executives that they can “boil the frogs” if they do it slow enough

6. They set the promos to be attractive and then when they inevitably produce positive numbers it is used as a data point to justify the erosion of their employees time and rights

7. In conclusion please, I beg of you, if you are going to take advantage of these “Labor Day Deals!” Do it online. We want to have this day off just as much as you do

[bullshitcustomerssay]

Manager: Gonna need you to close tomorrow night

Me: Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do that

Manager: Why not? If I ask you to close, you have to close

Me: You’re not gonna be happy if I do, but fine, I’ll see you tomorrow

Manager: OK, thanks!

Later

Manager: Hey, why do you have and hour of overtime?!

Me: Because that is the amount of time I worked last week

Manager: Yeah, but corporate doesn’t like OT did you get that approved?

Me: Yep. When you said, “When I tell you to close, you close”

Manager:

Me: I told you that you wouldn’t be happy

[i-who-has-never-had-a-name]

Some tips to be respectful to people working retail and gastronomy jobs:

-please don't come in half an hour before we close unless you just quickly want to buy something. Don't come in 10 minutes before closing time at all. A lot of us aren't paid overtime.

-please understand that if the worker you're speaking to doesn't smile and doesn't greet you/say goodbye it doesn't mean that they're rude to you. I've had to work inside on a 30 degree Celsius day without any air conditioning for 8 hours straight without sitting once and it can be very exhausting to keep a facade.

-if you don't know your password to your app it's not our fault.

-please let your kids know that the shop/restaurant you're going to isn't a playground. If an accident happens you are responsible.

-don't rush. Shopping/eating out takes time. Don't skip the line and don't pressure us to be faster than we already are.

-"can you look in the back-" no. That's insane.

-to the old guys specifically talking to young waitresses: stop cracking your jokes to us. You're not being cheeky. You're being weird.

-this is not so much of a tip as of more of a reminder to you: we can hear you. The intimate, private story you're telling to your friend? I hear you very clearly. I'm not nosy, I just have ears. Just keep that in mind.