Bumbling Final Year Med

I am the grass that grows between rocks. I cannot be easily crushed. I thirst for rain, I cannot waste water on tears.

[bumblingfirstyear]

This one is for the girl who sobbed uncontrollably when she realized she missed the application deadline for medical school in 2019.

We made it.

[bumblingfirstyear]

Hi! Im the idiot who thought infusing IV iron during an MASSIVE HAEMORRHAGE was the best option. *~*takes a bow*~*

[bumblingfirstyear]

Which idiot has two thumbs and forgot to think about Seizures first when considering Bupropion and AN? That's right...me. 

Jumped to Cardiac arrhythmias which is not wring I think? I hate Canada Bank when it doesn't explain ALL the answers. Like how wrong am I bud?

[bumblingfirstyear]

Lol Canada qBank....was the race relevant to the question? Like yay for representation? Did you assume I’d imagine a white patient if you write 23-year-old female???

[bumblingfirstyear]

So supernatural taught me Foile a deux, but they just killed the monster rather than separating the victims....Sam and Dean you failed me...

[bumblingfirstyear]

Not my dumbass selecting d) knowing FULLY WELL that there's not such thing as “abused child reaction formation” in the DSM. 

[bumblingfirstyear]

Update, now a bumbling final year with real imposter syndrome, feeling dumb, like I know nothing, studying for my listening exam in 4 days! Stay tuned for dumb things I’ve googled, stupid question and lots of angst!

[bumblingfirstyear]

Ok but why is this person going to the gynaecologist for anxiety? And why is her gynaecologist diagnosing mental health? Like so many questions….also why is normal behaviour not an option?

[meatball-surgeon]

colleague: ugh. why is paediatric pericardiocentesis an EM outcome? have you ever done a paediatric pericardiocentesis?

me: i would shit myself and die.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that time in high school when my computer died and i was so deeply distraught i legit wrote an entire obituary for a laptop

[marlsbys-dragons]

Where is the obit Gaud, come on don’t hold out on us

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i had to dig so deep through old backup files to find this, enjoy!

RIP (In loving, random access memory)

After a long illness, my beloved laptop, 3, while surrounded by family and tech support, succumbed in the night to an internal error. My laptop leaves behind one bereaved admin (me), an estranged guest user, an elderly warranty and a large extended family of synced mobile devices and browser bookmarks. Friends, we are gathered in this subdomain today to honor the memory, both RAM and hard drive, volatile and non-volatile, and mourn the data loss of a beloved digital companion. Caches to caches, rust to rust. Though its hard drive may be wiped, its chassis refurbished, and its processor sold for scrap, its torrent downloads and browser history will live on in our hearts, and eventually come back to haunt me.

[kaispeakshermind]

Caches to caches, rust to rust

[mistakenforacorpse]

I am sorry for your data loss

[psychofactz]

More facts

[thxrsdxy]

….maybe that’s why I listen to Skyrim and Mass Effect when I’m writing.

[petepaintswarhammer]

http://www.rpgamers.net/radio/

Just going to leave that there for anyone who needs it

[warchirf]

this is true. whenever i study, write, or other university things, i always listened to game music, film musics and classical. (and maybe a playlist of adventure time and starwars). it makes me super focused!

[mallowhoney]

More advice from a gamer and psych major. Make two playlists! One with the softer, more flowing music, like what you hear while traveling in a game. Name it “Field music.” This kind of music is supposed to just keep the flow as you travel in the game and it keeps pressure even.

Now take all the high-intensity battle music and make a playlist called “Boss Fight.” This music is supposed to make you feel just a bit desperate, but also empowered and badass. This is good for VERY CLOSE DEADLINES and “HOLY SHIT THREE PARAGRAPHS TO GO I GOT THIS.” It helps you get reenergized and gets you pumped to push through the last bit.

This is how I study and write papers.

For those of us who like lyrics, pick something NOT in the language you are writing in. When you’re writing in English and listening to English music it lowers your ability to write as well as you could because your brain is also interpreting the music.

[skits-and-stickers]

If you’ve got 4 hours or close to that to work on something, I recommend this:

http://nmesh.bandcamp.com/album/welcome-to-warp-zone-tiny-mix-tapes-4-hour-video-game-mix

It’s wild but it fits the criteria and works for me.

[thestoryofaslut]

This is a big reason why i gush over game soundtracks.

[somecunttookmyurl]

whilst i am always and forever just begging doctors to properly check interactions before they prescibe things (@ pharmacists: fuck everyone else i respect you i love you xoxo)

i am in fact also begging everyone to read the leaflets you get with your medication. if you have difficulty reading or understanding those leaflets that's fine just like... ask the pharmacist. never met one who wasn't happy to explain drugs.

but like...

"SSRIs make you less tolerant of heat" should not be a shock - it's in the leaflet. they make you sweat, give you hot flashes, and make your skin more sensitive to the sun. that's all in there.

"mixing alcohol and benzos is a Bad Time" is not a shock. it's in the leaflet to avoid alcohol.

"my ADHD meds made me not want to eat" is not a shock. it's in the leaflet that they cause appetite suppression and weight loss.

you do not have to "find out the hard way" you really don't. and bc doctors are fuckin useless at bothering to actually read and/or understand and/or explain interactions like... ever, apparently? there are plenty of places you can check for yourself or, again, just ask the pharmacist if there's anything to watch out for.

i mean asking a pharmacist about interactions is basially asking them to infodump about their hyperfixation. you're asking someone who thinks drugs are really cool to talk about drugs they are not going to be upset about this.

[bumblingfirstyear]

I realise I just post here when I am overwhelmingly upset. I promise this is NOT my normal. I'm usually happy.

[bumblingfirstyear]

I know wanting to go to sleep and not wake up is a low risk measure of suicidality and intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. But this shit sucks. I just want to go on a remote island and cry for a week. Can we add that to the screening questions?

[bumblingfirstyear]

I'm sad. And exhausted. I wanna cry and sleep. I just had 2 OSCEs, an exam, an OR scrub session, a Family Med Experience and I still have to submit two written pieces for a journal, two assignments, complete three different types of modules all by tomorrow.

I was going to go home for my sisters elementary graduation, but my ride was coming at 1 am instead of 10 pm and I was exhausted to the point of crying.

Now I'm going to miss the graduation. I haven't been there for my sister lately and I was really looking forward to it.

I know they say med school is hard, I've been managing that kind of hard. Right now I'm weeping on the couch while everyone else is asleep. I'm not managing this.

I hope I feel better by Monday. Gonna have my first week of electives. I swear I'm so excited about that. I just want to get back to struggling but managing and happy. I hate this feeling

[bumblingfirstyear]

Feeling inadequate

Just had my first tutorial. The impostor syndrome is real! I thought my nursing background would help me in tutorials and give me an edge, but it turns out I just know more shallow clinical stuff, and the hard science guys know all about neural pathways and pressure gradients and the fancy shamcies. 

Need to dedicate more time to studying. The videos (Osmosis, Armando, Khan Academy) are great for Wikipedia level overviews but I need to go into more detail and try to understand the obscure. 

This has really been an eyeopener in how much time I need to dedicate for tutorials and how much I need to form a learning strategy for new concepts.

New draft:

Videos for overview

Resources provided by program

Frequent check ins with learning objectives