The Illogical Rantings of Bunny Lafee

Pictures,Nerd/Geek stuff, and Other random shit. I am a self proclaimed geek/nerd/dork.I play lots of video games and been known to cosplay. Feel free to reblog anything/everything, just keep the credits on it please. 18+ Please

[bunnylafee]

My LinkTree

For all the cool shit you might want to peep?

[bunnylafee]

I've been feeling like I'm just surviving. Just barely keeping my head above the water of life. All I do is work it feels like. I should be grateful I have a job.

I've been feeling invisible lately, right now especially. I feel like all I'm good for is sexual stuff. Like no one wants me for me. For my charming self. Like I get it, I need to make my partner feel wanted and happy by giving them sexual attention but it feels one sided. I feel like I don't get anything out of it. Like yay, I made someone feel good and all that but now I feel awkward and slightly used. I have so many hang ups about sex and sexual stuff that I get stuck inside my head.

I just want to feel like I matter.

[bunnylafee]

[bunnylafee]

Musings: Random thoughts

When I was dating my ex I had entered what I would refer to my slutty era. I dressed for her gaze and others. I tried to be provocative when dressing, to wear skimpy clothes or styling.

I miss the way she made me feel, she made me feel powerful, sexy and strong.

I just feel weak now. I feel uncomfortable in my own body due to the weight gain. It's slow going in losing it. I should be more strict with it.

I just miss geeling like sparkles and like I light up someone's life.

[bunnylafee]

Explanation for my absence

A few months back I had an ex employee find this but more importantly he found my OF. Which is fine, no shame but he was DMing me and asking for some VERY personal things. He asked me to do some things that made me feel uncomfortable and alluded to my blog here about things I talked about, making me feel like I had lost my safe space here.

It made me cautious of what I could post anywhere because it felt like I had no space that was mine to be .. me. Like I had snapchat on certain stories but I didn't have anywhere to write out my feelings like I do here.

So I'm slowly coming back but that's the reason I have barely been posting. I'm also if you didn't notice taking a break from OF. I will be back! I just am living out of Air BnB's right now and space is limited. Plus my full-time job I have. It's a lil bit to juggle while trying to find a place to live.

[bunnylafee]

My birthday outfit I wore to high tea on Easter (also my birthday)

[bunnylafee]

Did goth style makeup for fun the other day.

Just preparing for my incoming birthday.

Let me know what you think.

[bunnylafee]

Sometimes I put glitter in my hair for no reason other than to amuse myself

[bunnylafee]

Sometimes. I'm a vibe.

Would you wanna be seen with me like this?

[bunnylafee]

Went to a gothic themed bar recently. It was fun. Got dressed up.

Would you wanna go out with me like this?

[bunnylafee]

We have good days and we have bad days. Sometimes they are within the same day.

[bunnylafee]

I'm sad today because you popped into my head. It's been a while since you've been in my head. I'm sad you never got to see me in my element. Not truly. I'm upset you didn't get to see me at my best. Then again you never saw me at my worse, not really.

Don't get me wrong now but you've never left my mind, heart, soul. You are always a tiny thought in a turbulent sea of thoughts and life. I don't know sometimes how I'm surviving without you. Without talking to you, without your love.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if you were still in it. Would you have seen me at my worse, my best? My heart aches for you sometimes more than others. I long for a hug from you, just one last time. To talk to you all night or hear your laugh just one last time.

I'll always love you.

[bunnylafee]

Does anyone wanna see or read stuff from my drafts folder? Things I wrote but never got around to publishing?

[bunnylafee]

We all need some Threeppy from time to time.

[bunnylafee]

I decided to look like an anime or an axolotl, you decide.

[bunnylafee]

I've taken to stirring my tea where I'm staying with a single metal chopstick. It makes it feel more magical and that way I can stir positive energy into it and negative energy out of it.

[bunnylafee]

Fresh haircut, who dis?

It's been a weird few weeks. I got a job back in my career, it's an interesting place. I kinda like it. It's fun.

Weird interaction with a few people, some of them were kinda rude too. Talking about me and using what I write on here against me. Just rude.

I know this is a public space and I use it for me, not anyone else.

I've been ok lately, frustrated if anything.

That's it. That's the update. Just fucking bullshit