If you came here to crush me and you look like Jace Lightwood your attempt will probably be a succes but I might also torture you with a large variety of weapons after
I used to come here... when the world closed in and got so small I couldn't breathe. I'd look out at the ocean, and I'd think... "Yo, douche bag, high school counts for jack shit." Kurt Cobain, Quentin Tarantino, Brando, DeNiro, Pacino, all high school dropouts. I... hated high school. So I'd come here and I'd look out at this vast, limitless expanse. Then it's like, that's your life, man. You can do anything, could be anything. Screw high school. That's... it's just a blip in your timeline. Don't get stuck there.
my mom didn't believe in lying to children so when I first asked about santa claus as a small child she was like "oh santa claus is another name for a man named saint nicholas who lived a long time ago. he was a very kind and generous man and he loved giving people presents and he would do things like put presents in people's stockings when they were hung up to dry by the fire, so they would find them and be surprised. so now when we give presents at christmas it's fun to pretend saint nicholas or 'santa claus' brings them. and we hang up stockings by the fire and when we get up in the morning there are presents in them, just like if saint nicholas was still alive to bring them!"
so that thanksgiving one of my uncles said jovially "so mac, are you being good for santa claus?" and little (not quite three year old) mac looked up and raised an eyebrow and said witheringly "he's dead."
Warnings: none, just ani fluff, a padawan braid touch tehe
Summary: You reunite with Anakin and Master Obi-Wan for a very important meeting of the Galactic Senate
Word Count: 3.6k
"Anakin. Come in, Anakin." Anakin inhaled quickly, looking around him, roused by these familiar words, words he usually heard when there was trouble near.
"Stars, Anakin, what in blazes is happening in your head," Obi-Wan asked. It was a rhetorical question, Anakin knew, and he remembered where he was, remembered that he was not in any danger, though he had lost himself in thought. Obi-Wan sat next to him in the back of the transport, a large open-air speeder that was zooming across Coruscant. The pilot had been sent to retrieve Anakin and his Master from the landing pad. They'd just returned, and already, they had been summoned to attend a meeting of the senate by the Chancellor himself.
"All Jedi," Anakin asked, trying to remember how to move his tongue, "have been summoned to this meeting?"
"All Jedi currently on world, yes," Obi-Wan said, watching his usually very confident apprentice stumbling over his words. "And their Padawans." Obi-Wan gave Anakin a knowing look.
"Why?" In truth, Anakin didn't much care why the Jedi had been summoned to the political arena on this particular day. Focusing on the practical, however, was helping him to get ahold of himself, and not lose control of his hands.
"I've told you, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, his tone half-exasperated, half-concerned. "I believe the Senate is about to propose an unprecedented solution to the rogue acts of violence being commitment by these so-called 'separatists'."
"An army," Anakin repeated his Master's words, from earlier, when they had been discussing their own most recent mission. Still, Anakin struggled to focus on such an important conversation. Anakin and Obi-Wan had been back to Coruscant only twice in the last two years. Both of their return trips had been brief, and both times, you had been off world with your Master, serving the Republic from afar. Anakin knew the growing separatist movement was to blame for keeping the Jedi so busy, knew that the political situation had gone from bad to worse within the last few years, the foundations of the Republic, and thus the Jedi Order, cracking under the weight of trying to serve so many star systems. Still, Anakin couldn't think about the Republic, or the senate, or even the Chancellor. He could only think of you. The thought of seeing you again, today, after so much time had passed, was causing Anakin's limbs to go numb, his lips to struggle over words, his mind turning in circles.
"This will be an important meeting, my young Padawan," Obi-Wan said, clearly reading Anakin's mood. "You'd do well to keep your head."
"Yes, Master," Anakin managed. Normally he'd quip back at Obi-Wan. His Master was growing more critical as Anakin got older, and Anakin was tired of it. Today, however, he didn't have room to feel frustration over Obi-Wan's criticisms. Anakin's emotional system was full; it was overflowing.
Anakin absent-mindedly tried to pat down his hair, though it was short, and it usually looked the same no matter what he did. He wished he could have been given the chance to visit the refresher, or at the very least the chance to change out of the same clothes he'd been wearing for days, his tunic that had not been washed. These were the realities of being on assignment, and Anakin did not usually mind roughing it, but today, of all days? Did he have to appear before you without even water to splash on his face? Anakin casually gave his shoulder a sniff, patting down his hair again.
"I'm sure she will be very happy to see us," Obi-Wan said, turning to face Anakin fully as the speeder made its way to the senate building. Anakin could tell that Obi-Wan was trying to reassure him, but the words lit a fire inside of Anakin. How would you react to seeing him again, after so long? He'd tried so hard with you, tried to get you to stop viewing him as only a rival, tried to get you to see all of his best qualities. Before your separation, you had slowly begun to trust him, to open up to him, to view him as a friend...but now? Anakin was terrified you would have closed your feelings to him completely, or worse, that you would have forgotten about him, that you would regard him as a part of your distant past. What if you had found someone else to spar with? What if you had begun to open your heart to someone else? Had you thought about him at all in the last two years? There was no way of knowing.
"It's been two years, Master," Anakin said, his fear overtaking the misery he had unintentionally infused into this statement. Anakin folded his hands in his lap, but this was a mistake—the clammy coldness he felt in his stomach seemed to transfer to his palms, which were slick with sweat.
"All the more reason for a happy reunion," Obi-Wan replied, giving Anakin a deliberate smirk.
"It's impossible," you said flatly, refusing to concede. "There's no way the senate would even suggest—"
"You're being naïve," Eha told you. Her voice was calm, but firm. You walked with her toward the dome-shaped senate building. "I don't think there's a limit to what the senate might do, if the senators felt the Republic itself—and therefore, the source of their salaries—was threatened."
"A military creation act? On the floor of the Galactic Senate," you stated, incredulous. "There hasn't been a military operation of that scale since—"
Since you didn't know when. Maybe Eha was right, and you were just being an optimist. But what she was suggesting was preposterous—the Jedi would never agree to such a wildly violent solution to a problem that could surely be solved through diplomacy. For some reason, as you walked closer to the senate building, you felt a coldness run through your body. You wrapped your cloak around yourself, looking around in confusion. It was not a cold day.
"Y/N," Master Yuma called, walking up to you with a brilliant smile on her face. "They're back. Obi-Wan and Anakin have returned from Carlac."
You froze. You couldn't help it—you felt as if your insides had fallen out of you, and you were left standing here, an empty shell, nothing inside you but empty space. You felt Master Yuma intuit all of this in your Force presence, and you worked to push her out. You'd learned this skill of blocking others from sensing you through the Force only recently, but you were mastering it quickly. If you continued to practice, soon others—even Master Yuma—would only be able to intuit your emotions, your presence itself, when you allowed them to. Blocking her out with the Force took some effort, but you succeeded, though you knew it was somewhat futile. Master Yuma knew you so well, and interpreted your movements and gestures so easily, she didn't really need the Force to be able to understand what was going on in your mind. Still, you would rather keep your emotions to yourself, especially when it came to Anakin.
"Oh," you responded, rather stupidly. Master Yuma gave you a supportive grip on the arm. It had been two full years since the last time you'd seen Anakin, when the two of you had returned from Hoth. In those two years, your abilities had grown beyond even your own expectations. It didn't matter that you had missed Anakin's presence, didn't matter that your stomach turned into a thousand winged insects when you heard his name. You were so close to your goal of knighthood, and you would not let anything get in the way of it. I cannot lose focus, you told yourself. I will not lose focus.
You knew you must be kind to Anakin, but keep your distance, firm in your commitment to your ideals and to the Jedi Order. It was likely that his feelings had changed, in the last two years, you reminded yourself. Your stomach churned at the thought. It had been a long time, and he was a teenage boy, though not for much longer. Anakin was 19. In the time he'd been gone, he had become a man. Surely he'd gotten over those particular emotional impressions you'd been so used to reading in his presence. It will make things easier, you told yourself, trying to banish the misery that you felt at recognizing how likely it was, that Anakin felt differently than he had two years ago. Anakin was your old friend. Nothing more.
You waited with Master Yuma and Eha at the entrance to the senate building. Master Yuma was excited to see her old friend, and her face showed it. Eha was watching you, but you kept your face impassive, a small, polite smile on your lips. You greeted other Jedi as they entered, nodding to them professionally. As you were speaking to Master Plo, you felt a rift in the air. It was as if a hole had been ripped through the Force, so intense was the shift in the current that you felt. You took a deep breath.
"Obi-Wan," Master Yuma said warmly, embracing the Jedi Master with open arms. Behind their hugging figures you saw him, peering at you, his face forming a small smile, his posture demure.
Your breath left your body. Anakin looked different. He was so...tall. He towered over Obi-Wan. His face was tanned, and he was no longer the skinny 17-year-old he had been. His muscles had filled out to match his height. He looked as if he'd spent these last two years doing manual labor in a sunny climate. The effect was...quite nice.
"Hello," Anakin said, walking over to stand in front of you, mirroring your polite smile, his eyes twinkling. His presence in the Force could not have been in more contrast to his diffident posture—it was as if energy were exploding out of him, light, joy, fear, excitement. He could have powered half the stars in the sky, with his presence, so powerful was the emotional current you felt coming from your friend.
"Hi," you said, your voice cracking slightly. You cleared your throat. I will not, you repeated in your head, lose focus.
"I missed you," Anakin said, his smile faltering, the blue of his eyes standing out even more than usual against his tanned skin. Crap. Focus, you thought, looking into the blue, losing your train of thought. Did he always have to be so forthright?
"What, were there no good sparring partners in the Outer Rim?" you asked, sarcasm coloring your voice. You always found it miraculous, how well you were able to hide your emotions. It was a skill you desperately needed, right now, and you thanked the stars you sounded somewhat normal. Anakin laughed.
"No," Anakin replied, his smile growing wider. "Not unless you count pirates."
"Only if they're good with a saber," you countered. Anakin's smile was contagious.
"Not so much," Anakin admitted. "Truthfully, there wasn't much company on Carlac." He stepped closer to you, his eyes betraying a hint of anxiety. "What about you? Did you...find any good sparring partners, while I was gone?" A nervousness had slipped into Anakin's casual tone. You intuited the meaning behind his question easily, and your heart flipped.
"None as good as you," you admitted. The honesty was worth seeing Anakin's face break into a complete and utter joy. He was beaming. It was dazzling. You smiled back, that little voice inside yourself yelling to you in warning. "It is a shame," you continued matter-of-factly, "that there wasn't anyone on Carlac to tell you how ridiculous your tan looks." You raised your eyebrows and enunciated the words, the hint of a sardonic smile gracing your lips.
"Ridiculous?" Anakin asked, his mouth opening in mock offense, his eyes playful. "What do you mean, ridiculous?" Anakin reached his hand out, touching your Padawan braid between his fingers gently, his features forming a mischievous look. He stood over you, moving his fingers slowly down your braid, and you looked up into his eyes. You got lost in this exchange for just a moment.
"Hi, Anakin," Eha said from over your shoulder, and Anakin's smile fell slightly, looking at her as if he suddenly had realized she was there.
"Oh, hi, Eha," Anakin said awkwardly, taking a step away from you, dropping your braid.
"Good to see you, Y/N," Obi-Wan said, grasping your arm affectionately. "It's been too long."
"It has, Master Obi-Wan," you said, smiling at him.
"I hear you have been advancing quickly," Obi-Wan said, smiling back at you, his eyes sparkling with pride. You looked down, biting your lip.
"Only because of Master Yuma's patience," you said, looking to your Master.
"I'm sure Y/N will get to show you some of her new skills," Master Yuma said, putting a comforting hand behind your back. "Right now, however, we're expected in the senate chambers."
Eha squeezed your hand, giving you a significant look before running off to find her Master. You and Anakin followed your Masters through the hallway, making your way to the balcony from which you would view the proceedings. For some reason, though, when you came to the lift, Master Obi-Wan pressed down instead of up.
"Where are we—?" you started to ask.
"The Chancellor has requested an audience," Obi-Wan said quietly, as if this was of no concern. "It won't take long." You crinkled your eyebrows, looking to Master Yuma. She shrugged. The lift moved downward, with you, Anakin, Master Obi-Wan, and Master Yuma standing awkwardly close together. The whole of the lift was filled with an incredible happiness. You felt as if this elation could lift you off the ground, so thick it was in the air. You blushed. Did Anakin really have to project his feelings so very loudly? You knew Master Yuma was reading the current in the air as easily as you were, and you guessed that Master Obi-Wan was also very aware of Anakin's feelings, and the reason behind them. Anakin might as well be shouting aloud, singing his emotions for everyone to hear. It was horribly embarrassing, but at the same time, you couldn't help but melt into the joy in the air, feeling it yourself. You worked to keep your Force block in place, worked to keep everyone out of your own head. You didn't want anyone else to feel your own sense of excitement at this reunion. You kept it small, hidden, folded into the very depths of yourself.
The doors to the lift opened, and you followed your Master through a small hallway into a chamber. You recognized the podium in the center of this chamber as the one that the Supreme Chancellor inhabited during senate meetings, though it was usually high up, in the center of the large arena full of senators. You realized that you were, now, underneath that large arena, in a sort of staging area.
"Master Kenobi," a warm voice greeted, and you turned to see the Chancellor himself walking toward the group of you, his arms outstretched in welcome. "How wonderful to see you back on Coruscant."
"We're glad to be back, Chancellor Palpatine," Obi-Wan greeted, shaking the politician's hand.
"And Anakin, goodness, you're growing into quite the young man," the Chancellor said, turning to Anakin, "and quite the Jedi, so I hear." Anakin smiled humbly at the Chancellor. It was odd—the Chancellor greeted Anakin as if they were old friends. You felt Anakin's lingering feelings from your reunion in the air, and felt in Master Obi-Wan a sense of apprehension. Whether this apprehension was due to greeting the Chancellor, or because of the meeting about to take place, you didn't know. You saw Master Yuma bow to the Chancellor, and you followed suit.
"Ah, and Master Yuma as well," the Chancellor said, grasping her hand. "Lovely to see you again."
"And you, Chancellor Palpatine. You look well." Master Yuma's tone was polite and reverential.
"This must be your Padawan, the star pupil I have heard so much about," Chancellor Palpatine said, turning to you, and you swallowed. The Chancellor himself had heard about you?
"It's an honor to meet you, Chancellor," you said politely, nodding to him. You felt out through the Force, trying to gauge the man in front of you, but for some reason, you felt nothing emanating from his presence, no emotions at all. It wasn't that uncommon, you reasoned, for you to meet someone whom you had trouble reading. These people were usually the unemotional type—since your Force abilities relied on the emotions of others, people who were less inclined to emotion, who were more practical, were not as easy for you to read. Still, even with those people, you usually felt a hint of something in their presence, even if it was faint. From the Chancellor you felt nothing at all. This puzzled you.
"I'm afraid I've called you here under less than ideal circumstances," the Chancellor said to Obi-Wan, heading back in the direction of his podium, where two assistants waited.
"I figured it wouldn't be good news," Obi-Wan said honestly. "The situation in the Outer Rim, as you know, has deteriorated under separatist influence."
"This is precisely what I would like to discuss," Chancellor Palpatine replied, turning to sit on his podium as the group of Jedi stood around him. "Today, a collection of senators will propose a military creation act. Though I predict this proposal will not lead to a successful vote, it is my fear that these senators might be in danger following their act of bravery today."
"You don't believe there is a chance this act will be successful?" Master Obi-Wan asked, stroking his beard, looking deep in thought. You felt his unease grow in the Force.
"It seems highly unlikely," Chancellor Palpatine countered. "The number of senators who I believe will create a strong opposition...well, it will take some time to glean the reality of the situation. During that time, it is my desire that the senators who are behind this proposal be personally protected."
"You are requesting a Jedi presence, while this political issue is being resolved?" Master Yuma asked thoughtfully.
"It would give me peace of mind," the Chancellor said softly, "to know that these separatists could not impact or sway the opinions of other senators, through violence."
"We will be happy to oblige your request, Chancellor." Obi-Wan turned to Master Yuma. "Though of course we must discuss this with the council."
"Certainly. And of course, Master Yuma and her Padawan should join you, if you are to act as security in the senate apartments," the Chancellor said, looking briefly between you and Anakin. "I personally would feel more at ease, knowing that your talented Padawans are in on the protection efforts."
"Of course," Obi-Wan said, glancing from you and back to Anakin.
"Well, I must take my leave, as I am needed elsewhere," Chancellor Palpatine said, his tone turning more professional. This was your cue to leave.
"Protection is a job for local security, not Jedi," Anakin whispered to Obi-Wan, his brow furrowed. The four of you sat in the balcony amidst the other Jedi, viewing the senate proceedings below.
"Hush, Anakin, not now. I need to listen," Obi-Wan said, watching as Senator Onaconda Farr began to speak. You felt Anakin's discomfort through the Force, a small drop in the vast sea of his Force presence, which was still completely overwhelmed by elation, a giddiness that was distracting you from the meeting unfolding below. You turned to Master Yuma.
"Was Chancellor Palpatine ever a Jedi?" you asked, your confusion reading on your face.
"What?" Master Yuma asked, her eyes still on the senator. "No," she whispered, looking back at you. "Why?"
"I don't know...no reason, I guess," you responded quietly, deep in thought. You supposed being unemotional might be a useful personality trait for a politician. Still, something about the Chancellor confused you, as if he were multiple conflicting things.
"Do you really think the Republic might create a military?" you whispered in Anakin's ear, your heart beating quickly, for a variety of reasons.
"I don't know," Anakin responded, turning to you, his face very close to yours. You could feel his breath on your face. "Why shouldn't the Republic have a military? It would make it so that we could more easily solve problems."
"Yes, but solve problems through violence," you whispered in reply, distracted from Anakin's face momentarily by the absurdity of his words. He was still gazing at you, and you felt his thoughts go in the opposite direction from violence. His emotional current had not changed much since you had first greeted each other, and it had not lessened in its intensity.
"It is good to see you," Anakin whispered, his emotions spilling out of his blue eyes. You inhaled, holding your breath. "I didn't know if I would ever see you, again...it's been so long..."
"I know," you told him shortly, in a whisper, and these words seemed to elicit a response from him, his eyes widening.
"If the council approves the Chancellor's request," Anakin whispered slowly, looking back to the center of the senate arena, "then we'll be working with each other, again." His eyes shined with happiness at these words.
"Yeah," you scoffed, "protecting militant-leaning senators." You too looked down at the arena.
"Together," Anakin whispered, looking back at you. You didn't need to turn back to look at him. You felt the intensity of his Force presence. You repeated your mantra to yourself in your head, but it didn't matter. The focus you had perfected over these last few years was cracking so easily under the pressure of Anakin's gaze. You worked the air in and out of your lungs. You didn't know what was to come in the future, but you knew one thing: you were in big trouble.
"Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love."
Spoke to a gen z person the other night and apparently the young folks don't know about the very legal sites from which you can access public domain media (including Dracula, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and other Victorian gothic horror stories)?
Like this young person didn't even know about goddamn Gutenberg which is a SHAME. I linked to it and they went "aw yiss time to do a theft" and I was like "I mean yo ho ho and all that, sure, but. you know gutenberg is entirely legal, right?"
Anyway I'm gonna put this in a few Choice Tags (sorry dracula fans I DID mention it though so it's fair game) and then put some Cool Links in a reblog so this post will still show UP in said tags lmao.
Spreading the news to my followers - if you weren’t aware of this before, here’s the link to Project Gutenberg - https://www.gutenberg.org/
Project Gutenberg is a gigantic collection of books that are in the public domain. You can read the books through the site or you can download them in various formats so you can get the format you prefer for your eReader of choice.
It is free.
It is legal.
I was reviewing the list of the top 100 books downloaded yesterday and I saw a fair few that I had to read for college classes - so if you’re a college student and your professor assigns you to read Plato or any number of older works, check here before you buy a copy.
I reread the Anne series several years back - they were free through this. I need to reread Pride and Prejudice at least once a year, and my e-book version is from this. Someone recommended Jekyll and Hyde to me a few weeks back and I got a free copy from this. When I went to Haworth on my last holiday before the plague times, I brought books by the Bronte sisters with me to read or reread that I downloaded from here. It’s a great resource.
Yes yes yes! I was honestly so flabbergasted that this young person hadn't heard of the gutenberg project! It's been around for AGES, maybe longer than the kindle has? And it's such a huge project and wonderful resource! It used to be a household name (or maybe that's just my family, thanks to my dad being a cheapskate nerd [affectionate]). I was so glad to be able to share this resource and others with them though, and I wanted to make sure no one else was missing out!
If you look at the first reblog from me I also recommended a few other resources, most of which were from www.archive.org, home of the Wayback Machine! They run openlibrary.org, where you can check out ebooks of some public domain titles! They even have the Bone series by Jeff Smith!
And archive.org itself has all kinds of public domain media including music and movies! For Dracula fans, here's a radio show adaptation of the book, starring Orson Welles! And here's a 1920 movie adaptation of "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," starring John Barrymore, the grandfather of Drew Barrymore!
I'm so excited to see people falling in love with classic media through Dracula Daily! Let's keep that fire blazing!
Also, if you can't handle reading things, check out libirvox.org! it's a free audio book project taking public domain works and people doing free audiobooks! there's a lot of great stuff on there, but it takes things in the public domain and makes audio books out of them!
it's a super nice project, and you can find some really nice readers there!
I really want to get my Tumblr back on track so I’ve decided to make master posts of all my writing by fandom.
First up - where it all began - Mystic Messenger! It was my first muse and I still love it to this day (RAY ROUTE - CAN’T WAIT!).
** = Smut (There are 45 in total?! And all but 4 of these are smut LOL I had no chill)
Jumin Discovers Fan Fiction - Jumin discovers all the fan fiction we have written about him. **
Getting Ready - Jumin gets super turned on watching MC get ready for a fancy party. My first ever make up kink post! I loved everyone’s response to this!**
Jumin the Virgin - It’s hard for me to imagine Jumin as some sex god when he doesn’t like interacting with women (anyone really) so I imagined a world where he is a virgin and sleeps with an experienced MC for the first time.**
Faking It - Choose Your Own Ending - You agree to a secret relationship with Zen, but when his management team pitch a fake public relationship with Echo Girl - it starts to feel very real. You can choose your own Happy Ending with either Zen or Jumin.
The RFA Engagement Series - Fluffy Part one of the Wedding Series. This is how I imagine the guys might propose to you!
The RFA Sex Wedding Night Series - Follow up and sequel to my RFA Engagement Series, enjoy a Honeymoon Featuring Zen, Jumin, Saeyoung, V, or Saeran.**
The RFA Christmas Sex Series - I was feeling festive and wanted to write festive sex scenes with each of the six guys.**
The Dinner Party - You tease Jumin at a dinner party when you grow sick and tired of keeping your relationship private. **
Christmas and Jumin - DIFFERENT than the Christmas Sex story I wrote for Jumin but still hot and cold in all the right places.**
Between Friends - A threesome on a piano with MC, V, and Jumin aka - all of our dreams coming true - LITERALLY.**
Sneaking Off - MC and Jumin sneak off from the RFA party for a quickie. A loud quickie.**
Putting You To Bed - Remember the night that Jumin tucks you in and reads to you? This is how I wish things went down after.**
Let Me - My first ever attempt at angst. Seven sacrifices himself to let you and Saeran have a nice life together.
Standing Up - MC goes to Jumin’s office to cuss him out for his treatment of Jaehee but she ends up striking a different deal with him.**
Favour for a Friend - A phone call between MC and Jaehee where Jaehee asks her to describe in graphic detail the sex MC has with Zen.**
C&R Party - Jumin asks MC to save her from a boring ol’ work party. **
RFA Sex Tape Series - Self explanatory title LOL**
Choices & Changes - An angst AU where Jumin agrees to marry Sarah for his father.
Bathed in Starlight - Remember that wonderful night you meet Zen face to face for the first time?! Imagine having sex up there on the roof **.
Not Interested in Anything Less than Everything - MY VERY FIRST FAN FIC! Jumin has you delivered to his house where he confesses and shows you exactly how he feels (and where he feels it) **
Control - An AU where MC willingly went with Saeran during the attempted kidnapping in Zen’s route.**
I never realized that I wrote so damn much for this fandom!
Thank you so much for checking this out! I’m excited and hope to write more with Ray’s release! I love him to bits even though he dresses like Willy Wonka!
I can't decide what's funnier: insisting on making French versions of brand names like Youtube and Reddit, or for some reason, doing it to "Merica Fuck Yeah"
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
kaledo-art
izzy806
