@fancyyancy
If you start making eggs in my kitchen, I’ll fucking snap.
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@burguesscript-blog
@fancyyancy
If you start making eggs in my kitchen, I’ll fucking snap.
there’s not actually 6 of us but i guess quinn can join and katsuo wants me dead so
and then he ran into my knife
he ran into my knife ten times
And now, the 6 Merry Murderers of Hope’s Peak Academy in their rendition of... the Cell Block Tango.
if i wake up and katsuo’s dead i plead the fifth
happy bappy
i can only ever picture csilla with the seo laugh
Mitsuo wanting to die and Quinn doing everything to prevent his death is perhaps the punishment Mitsuo deserved that along. It is like being trapped in eternal limbo.
me after getting out of the simulation: “wish i was dead” me getting curbstomped by katsuo: “wish i was dead” me being forgiven by mauli: “wish i was dead” csilla: “i love you too” me: “NVM I LOVE LIFE”
reminder: csillith height difference
*setting out the bottles for tonight*
MZM3 Has a Fire Drill
Mitsuo: *looks at the camera, opens his desk drawer, revealing a torch and some lighter fluid in a cloth which he takes with him into the hall* *locks hall door and busts the lock*
Mitsuo: Last week I gave a fire safety talk... And nobody paid any attention. *uses a blowtorch on the door handle* It's my own fault for using PowerPoint. *whipsers* PowerPoint is boring. People learn in lots of different ways. *jams door and blowtorches the handle again* But experience... is the best teacher.
Mitsuo: *pours lighter fluid into a trash can* *lights a cig, takes a puff* Today, smoking is going to save lives. *tosses the cig into the trashcan* *walks out as the fire starts*
Mitsuo: *glances at the door where the fire is occasionally, watching the smoke pour out* Does anyone smell something smokey?
Jirou: Did you bring your jerkey in again?
Mitsuo: *looks at the camera, sniffs and clears his throat*
Katsuo: Oh my God, uh, Oh my God! *pointing at the smoke*
Lucky: FIRE!
Mitsuo: Fire? Oh, oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people?
Katsuo: The phones are dead!
Mitsuo: *looking DIRECTLY at the camera* Ohh, how did THAT happen?!
Yuuto: It's down in the hall!
Mitsuo: No, we don't know that, the smoke could be coming through an air duct!
Yancy: *walks in* Oh my GOD OKAY IT'S HAPPENING. Everybody stay calm! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!
Mitsuo: Alright everybody, what's the procedure?
Yancy: STAY *BLEEP*ING CALM!! EVERYBODY CALM THE *BLEEP* DOWN!
Mitsuo: No no no, no Yancy, no! Touch the handle, if it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway.
Yancy: *touches it* ... What does warm mean?
Everybody: *murmuring*
Mitsuo: Not a viable option. WHAT NEXT?! Oh, here's a door, how's the handle, check that one out!
Quinn: *touching it, trying to pull the door open* It's warm!
Mitsuo: Well, another option! *nearly gets trampled*
Katsuo: I FORGOT MY PURSE.
Mitsuo: Things can be replaced, people. Human lives- *notices everyone ran out already* can... *running out*
Q: *touching the next handle* AAA, my hand, that's hot! Ugh, this one's hot too!
Yancy: Okay, we're trapped! Everyone for themselves!
Everyone: *scurrying around, panicked*
Mitsuo: Have you ever seen a burn victim? Okay, procedure, procedure...
Everyone: *ignoring Mitsuo*
Katsuo: *taking a cat out of a drawer, shushing it*
Mitsuo: A rag, a damp rag perhaps!
Quinn: *removing ceiling pannels and climbs into the ceiling while Mitsuo continues to be ignored*
Katsuo: *holding the cat and rushing towards the ceiling hole* Quinn! Quinn!
Quinn: Stay alive, I'm getting help!
Katsuo: Pull me up!
Quinn: You're too heavy!
Katsuo: I only weigh 82 pounds!
Quinn: *leaves*
Katsuo: Save Bandit! *throws the cat into the ceiling hole* *it comes crashing down through the ceiling* *screams*
Mitsuo: How about 911, anyone? 911?
Yancy: *tears down blinds of a window* *tossing a chair at it but it bounces off*
Q: *tosses a chair at the vending machine and stuffs their pockets with snacks*
Csilla: What do we do?!
Mitsuo: Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision making!
Tsuki: Okay, I am not dying here, come on.
Mitsuo: *throws a firecracker*
Mauli: THE FIRE'S SHOOTING AT US!!
Lilith: What in the name of God is going on?! *coughing*
Mitsuo: *triggers the fire alarm*
Tsuki & Mauli: *unplugging the copier*
Quinn: *crashes through the ceiling but stops halfway, his legs dangling into the room*
Katsuo: *screams*
Tsuki & Mauli: *rolling the copier at the jammed door*
Yancy: *throws a scanner through the window* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!! HEEEEELP!!!
Lucky: *coughing and doubling over*
Tsuki & Mauli: *still ramming the copier into the door*
Mitsuo: *honks airhorn* ATTENTIOOOOON! STUDENTS OF HOPE'S PEAK! THIS HAS BEEN A TEST OF OUR EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS. THERE IS NO FIRE, IT WAS ONLY A SIMULATION!
Tsuki: What?!
Mitsuo: Fire, not real. This was merely a training exercise.
Quinn: *finally crashes through the ceiling in full, looking around in a daze*
Mitsuo: So, what have we learned?
Lucky: *collapses*
Mitsuo: Oh, come on, it's not real, Lucky! Don't have a heart attack...
Yancy: No no no no no, you will not die! Lucky! LUCKY! YOU WILL NOT DIE! LUCKY! LUCKY! I LIKE DICK! YOU HAVE ONE! I'm gonna give her mouth to mouth.
Lilith: No, don't give her mouth to mouth for this.
Yancy: OPEN YOUR MOUTH. *jamming his wallet into Lucky's mouth*
Lilith: *holding back Yancy* Yancy, Yancy!
Everyone: *pulling Yancy away*
Lucky: *coughing*
Yancy: I'M SAVING HER!
MZM3 Learns First Aid
Quinn: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Yancy: No, Quinn, they are not breathing. *looks down at the practice doll* And they have no arms or legs.
Quinn: No, that's not part of it.
Yancy: Where are they? You know what, if we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them?
Tsuki: *frowns*
Yancy: I mean, what quality of life do we have there?
Yuuto: I would want to live with no legs.
Yancy: How about no arms?
Yuuto: :/
Yancy: No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Yuuto, you don't do anything.
Yuuto: *looks at the camera*
Quinn: Alright, well, let's get back to it, because you're losing him.
Yancy: *pumping the doll's chest quickly*
Quinn: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of 100 beats per minute.
Yancy: Whoaaa, 'kay, that's hard to keep track of, how many is that per hour?
Q: How's that gonna help you?
Yancy: I will divide and then count to it.
Q: Right. *looks at the camera and frowns in confusion*
Quinn: Okay, well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?
Yancy: Yes, yes! I love that song. Okay. *places his hands on the doll's chest* First I was afraid, I was petrified-
Quinn: No, it's ah-ah-ah-ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Mauli: You were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you!
Quinn & Yancy: *staring in silence*
Yancy: ... *glances at the camera*
Yancy: Ah-ah-ah-ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. *pumping and continuing*
Katsuo: *joining in* Ah-ah-ah-ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive! You can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.
Csilla: *starts dancing along*
Katsuo: Music loud and women warm, been kicked around since I was born! And now it's alright, it's okay, you can look the other way!
Quinn: Okay, OKAY!
Yancy & Katsuo: *dancing along* Nahmuhnahmuhnahmuhnahmuh stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Quinn: Yeah, okay, you didn't maintain 100 beats per minute, and the ambulance didn't arrive since nobody called 911. So you lost him.
Mitsuo: Okay, he's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Quinn?
Quinn: I have no idea.
Mitsuo: Lilith?
Lilith: We bury him.
Mitsuo: Wrong. *imitates buzzer sound* Check for an organ donor card, if he has one, we only have minutes to harvest.
Mauli: He has no wallet, I checked.
Yancy: He is an organ donor.
Mitsuo: He is? *taps Lucky* Get me some ice and a styrofoam bucket. *pulls out a large knife from a strap attached to his leg* Here we go... *stabs the practice doll* Rrgh!
Jirou: Mitsuo!!
Mitsuo: AARRRGH!
Jirou: What are you doing?!
Mitsuo: We search for the organs! Where's the heart... the precious heart... *digging around inside the practice doll*
Quinn: *looks at the camera for help*
Lucky: I'm not feeling well, I need to sit down...
Yancy: Are you okay, Lucky?
Mitsuo: *wearing the doll's face as a mask* THPTHPTHPTHPTHPTHPTHP...!
Everyone: *SCREAMING*
katsuo: "Everything's wrong! The stress of the killing game has caused me to go into a depression!"
lilith: "Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling "bummed out"?"
katsuo: "Lilith, you ignorant slut!"
katsuo: "I'M GONNA JUMP!!!"
mitsuo: "DO A FLIP!"
lmao what i miss