maryu

Drunk on rainbows and high on stardust.✨

[burnwiththestars]

Free

Came the darkness the mask fell of her face like dew from a leaf. Her wide eyes glistening, the moon shining down on her. She striped off the smile, the cheer, and the happiness she plastered on herself for the world. After all the years of running and enwrapping herself in sweetened lies, she'd begun lose her mind and soul. Tonight, thankful for the night and it's veil that hid her, She lay obliterated of lies on the ground, she felt free. Even through the tears that dripped down her pale cheek, she felt free.

[burnwiththestars]

My mind aches to write but its too crowded with thoughts that aren’t even mine

[burnwiththestars]

You're the disease.

For so long, I've been battling with this feeling I have for you. So pure yet so corrupt. I wish I was immune, I wouldn't have to spend nights burning in your thoughts. Oh how I wish I was immune, to you and your absent love. If I hadn't ever felt it, this sickness taking over my mind and soul, I would've been saved. With the taste of you I had, I never want to be saved, found or cured, And what's a cure to someone who fell in love with the slowly killing pleasure they call heartbreak. I'd let the blood bleeding from the wounds you cut drown me while I blow you a kiss.

[burnwiththestars]

When the loneliness kicks in, I search for your memories. Your smiles and the sound of your laughter illuminates the dark roads I chose to walk without you.

[burnwiththestars]

It was not ordinary, It has never been. It burned like wild fire and I still have the scars unhealed on my body. We were never mediocre baby, we blasted off into space and blew up with the same magnitudes.

[burnwiththestars]

My ability to pretend I'm okay is terrifying me.

[burnwiththestars]

I thought this was true until today..

[burnwiththestars]

Pieces

Now you’re gone. All I’m left with is pieces of myself scattered from a past before you happened, it’s hard to put them together, most of them lost or too broken. But I have learnt, from all the pain that you caused me, I have learnt that I can fill the empty pieces with myself, it doesn’t have to be put together all the time, I don’t need to try this hard. All I need to do is love myself and let it bleed on the pieces and it’ll find itself back where it belong. My pieces aren’t perfect without you, but I can see them now because with you they were hidden from view, even from my own. 

I’ll find my way when I break your hold on my heart, I will find love again when I stop loving you. I will smile again when I stop making you the only reason to. I will stop dying every day when I stop making you the only reason not to. I will take my sweet time rebuilding the imperfect pieces that make me. I will take my sweet time loving myself slowly and cutting every string you tied, but I will not stay and wait any longer for you and for your hand to take me away from what I really am. 

I am tired of exploring the same routes.

[burnwiththestars]

If only you'd go back to everything we said and did you'd know how much I tried to keep us from falling.

[burnwiththestars]

You broke enough pieces to just keep me alive 

[burnwiththestars]

I miss you.

All I wanted was you to stay long enough to befriend my demons, but you left as soon as they said "hi"

[burnwiththestars]

Sometimes I only go to sleep so I can skips parts of the day and I can wake up when things aren't as bad.

[burnwiththestars]

Hope you read this.

I think about you every night, but some nights more than others and it ends up in tears. I remember every thing about you, from the smile on your face to the length of your fingernails, I remember what made you laugh and cry, I thought I knew everything about you, until you proved me wrong. Your face in my mind has changed ever since, it doesn't possess the light it once had anymore.. I often wonder if I'm selfish and I fail to understand you and the cloud of my ego is leading me further away from you. I do admit, I do not understand why you did what you did, but I want you to know, that I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago, even though you didn't ask for it. You might not even deserve forgiveness, but I love you far too much to even come close to hating you.Maybe it is my fault, I have always failed in the matters of love and in holding close the people involved, I have always been not enough for them and when years went by, so did they. 

Dear friend of mine from past, I want you to know that tonight I cried in your remembrance. Tonight my mind raced back to when we laughed too long, and tonight after all this time, I wished you were here. 

Was I unworthy of your trust? Did I break your heart? Was he more to you than I ever was? These questions I ask I never want answered as I know they will hurt too much if they aren't what I want to hear and I'd rather live unaware to the fact that you never loved me like I did.

[lilysofthefield]

Lately, I feel like I am clawing at the remnants of my fingertips, empty and uninspired, my lungs gasping for relief of writing, choking and desperate for the release of metaphors and imagery.

[burnwiththestars]

I have avoided thinking about you for all this time for it bears too many happy memories, and when happiness is only a memory, it brings sorrow.

[therelatableimages]

[animalsnaps]

personal quotes to brighten your day!  

[burnwiththestars]

Words

Somethings seems missing to me, I can’t quite put my finger on it, I can’t grasp it though I can feel it so deeply. May be I need another book in my hand, another story in my mind, words beautifully bonded by a mind so wild it could not be stopped by those who tried. I need to feel something that is beyond me, I need to feel loved and hated in words, I need to feel touched without being touched at all. But then again, it feels like it isn’t what I’m missing, maybe I yearn to write, to fill pages with ink and soul, to lighten the burden of my mind that carries too many thoughts, to create worlds of unknown origins and tales of love-less lovers. Cause when I write, I don’t know who I am, I don’t remember it till I curve the last words, cause when I write I am airborne, drifting far beyond the horizon to where the suns of all the worlds gather, telling stories of their own, I go there only to eavesdrop on their secrets, to borrow their heavenly long tales to add to my notebooks. I travel with the pen dipped in black, it is a journey without roads, a wandering into the depths of my mind.                                            

I think now I have found what I’ve been missing, it is this state of mind where I’m on my own, within myself.