[butchboromir]

jack or jenny !! he/she !! 21

this song was once described by the target of its evil little lyric as virtually straight narrative.

[butchboromir]

[spends a minute thinking really hard] [opens new post creator] [with great conviction] i think locke lamora and jean tannen are gay

[butchboromir]

Visit Original Link

[butchboromir]

bought a pint of fancy 11 dollar ice cream & i know it would go so hard high but it's midnight & i have an opening shift today so i can't do edibles & the cart i have sucks and is evil and won't let me actually hit it

[butchboromir]

Hello TSA Agent. My Suspiciously Shaped Bag Is NOT A Bomb, It Is Like 6 Different Dildos And Three Different Whips/Floggers And Also Rope So I Can Have Crazy Gay T4T Sex With My Boyfriend

[butchboromir]

this shift feels excruciatingly long. i just want to go home and buy a sandwich and chill but instead i’m stuck at my stupid fucking job

[butchboromir]

A Poem for Uncertainties, Mark Terrill

[butchboromir]

u all i am SO FUCKING EXCITED i am for real actually finally getting to visit germany i‘ve been wanting this for YEARS. i get to see my awesome boyfriend & see dArtagnan live (who are one of my favorite bands ever and the entire reason my life has taken this trajectory) & see tmg live in germany (so maybe i‘ll finally get to see going to maryland live because they really only play it germany for some reason) & i get to explore berlin‘s music scene & it’s going to be SO FUCKING AWESOME

[butchboromir]

old bay is basically the spice melange of maryland

[butchboromir]

eating straight tablespoons of old bay in order gain enough prescience to drive safely on i-95 (maryland drivers are so bad you need to be able to see into the future to avoid them)

[butchboromir]

[butchboromir]

old bay is basically the spice melange of maryland

[butchboromir]

eating straight tablespoons of old bay in order gain enough prescience to drive safely on i-95 (maryland drivers are so bad you need to be able to see into the future to avoid them)

[butchboromir]

old bay is basically the spice melange of maryland

[butchboromir]

thinking about sandwiches is literally getting in the way of me comprehending this damn audiobook. like i keep zoning out and imagining the beautiful sandwich i could be eating right now and then i zone back in and i've missed like 5 minutes of narration and have no idea wtf is going on. i think i'm supposed to be learning important things about what an abomination is in the eyes of the bene gesserit but i did not actually comprehend any of what was being said because in my mind's eye i was imagining a beautiful and tasty chopped italian hero

[butchboromir]

if i could have any superpower in the world it would be the ability to conjure any sandwich i could ever dream of from thin air

[butchboromir]

fuck shapeshifting fuck teleportation fuck mind reading. i dont care about any of that. i want a sandwich. and if i wanted to shapeshift i would simply wish for a sandwich that lets me shapeshift when i eat it. EZ

[butchboromir]

if i could have any superpower in the world it would be the ability to conjure any sandwich i could ever dream of from thin air

[butchboromir]

regretting the immense amounts of self control i practiced earlier in not buying a sandwich on my way home from work. because now i want a sandwich so fucking badly and i have none

[butchboromir]

but tonight i am not going to be productive. tonight is for CHILLAXING and listening to audiobooks (20 minutes left of dune messiah and then i'm starting children of dune) (shoutout random dude on youtube who uploaded the audiobooks in full) and then listening to music