butfirstchai

[butfirstchai]

At this point, I don't care about holding "awareness" campaigns at workplace to teach ADULT MEN why they should be respecting women. Be damned with misogyny talks, now I just wanna slap the fuck out of my colleagues and move on with life. You get me?

[butfirstchai]

People amaze me with something new everyday. And, I don't mean that in a good way.

It escapes me how hypocrisy has become so prevalent that people laugh with the same people they talked shit about. I can never be that person. I can never be that fake, that low on self-esteem.

I have seen people presenting themselves as innocents when they're ones with the vilest opinions. Utter Bullshit.

I have seen people mingle and joke with the same person they told me they "hated".

Why has hypocrisy become so common? Why has the need to be validated become so common?

I cannot express enough disgust for the people who wants to know everything that's going on in everybody's life - the annoyingly nosy and loud people. Dramatic. Overbearing. Fake. Why do you want to know anything about my life? Are you that free?

If you are, infact, that free - then here's a piece of suggestion for you: pick up more hobbies so that your only source of entertainment isn't being nosy. Ufff, just mind your own God Damn business, yaar!

[butfirstchai]

Things I'm Grateful for:

-A thread for daily gratitude logs

“We underestimate the power of choice, our power to suddenly wake up one day bored of our own bullshit and decide to do things differently.”

[butfirstchai]

Why does their words matter?

When you run low on self confidence, that is when you allow others to walk all over you. But if it was that easy to repair our self confidence, we would have done that a long time ago.

This lack of self confidence allows people and their words to get to you. It makes you sensitive. Makes you cry. Makes you feel little. It makes you feel like nothing is worth living.

When you're someone who has low self confidence, people will find it easy to make you guilty or threaten you. To manipulate you. They would use mean words against you and rattle all your beliefs about yourself.

If you were someone who had lots of self confidence in themselves, people's words wouldn't mean anything to you. They would just be passing by fools who know nothing better. The words won't hurt you. The words won't stab you in the heart. The words won't make you cry or take away your peace because— the people who uttered those words are too inconsequential to focus on. Too stupid to matter.

[butfirstchai]

Why is acceptance often so hard? It is because denial is easier than accepting reality. And to accept the reality that your mother/parent/family didn't really love you, is devastating and shameful. It's hard because we are now coming face-to-face with the term that our mothers/parents/families didn't really love us. And it is frightening. Shameful. Full of loopholes. We cannot bear the loss that comes with acceptance. Or the sadness. Or the guilt. With acceptance comes anxiety of "what now?" or "what next?" Acceptance is only the start. It's a long journey ahead, but it is worth it. We need to discover in order to recover. Accept in order to heal. In order to avoid acceptance, we find ourselves in the repeated cycle of "Rationalizations". We try to make sense of our mother's/parents'/families' behaviour. We try to find evidence that they weren't "that bad". And in order to make these rationalizations, self image distortion is necessary, because "it's not like i was an easy child." And through the distortion of our self image, self-defeating behaviours are born. Self-defeating behaviours tell us that it is okay to be too forgiving and that we should always be willing to accommodate others even if it causes us discomfort.

[butfirstchai]

Book: Mothers who can't love

We seriously need to address the mythical version of motherhood— the one where we think that by definition a mother is inherently capable of love, kindness, and protection. This statement alone is inaccurate on so many levels. The mere act of giving birth does not inherently makes a mother capable of nurturing. There's no such guarantee that a mother will automatically bond with the baby or know what the baby needs or even be able to love the baby. There's no such guarantee.

This same widespread myth gives a great cover to the unloving, abusive mothers. Voila! And the worst part of it all? The abused, neglected kids will face a wall of resistance when they try to tell others about their abuse. "What is wrong with you? She's your mother! She gave you BIRTH. You should be grateful!" And so, the abuse continues.

No. Your mother does not deserve your forgiveness and no, your family isn't the most important thing in your life if all your family does is abuse and traumatize you.