The Art of a Small Wedding {The Guest List}
Writing the guest list for a small wedding may seem like a huge challenge. So if you’re struggling to cut down your guest list, here are a few tips to help you narrow it down…
If you haven’t seen or heard from a friend in the last 12 months, there’s no need to invite them. If you went to a friend’s wedding more than two years ago and haven’t seen or heard much from them since, you don’t have to invite them. A friend of mine’s brother narrowed his friends down by crossing off anyone he hadn’t seen in the last two months. Harsh but it worked for him and his wife.
Now this is awkward but it happens… a friend you hardly see or hear from just assumes they’re invited and they pop up in your Facebook inbox asking about the big day. This happened to my sister, she ignored it at first but eventually she had to write back and politely explain that her wedding was a small event for her nearest and dearest. Issue solved and no hard feelings (I hope).
Here’s what you could say: “Thank you so much for your interest in my wedding. Unfortunately we are organizing our wedding on a budget and therefore we’re only able to invite our closest friends and family.”
Hopefully they’ll be mature about it.
If you only see certain extended family members briefly over Christmas, and they don’t know much about you or your fiancé, you don’t need to invite them. Invite family members you like, connect with when you see them, and who will add to your day.
If you have work mates you hang out with over the weekend, they’re friends and you should invite them. If not, inviting the office to your small wedding could be a recipe for awkwardness.
A friend of mine told about a wedding she and a few colleagues were invited to. She said it was awkward because they didn’t know any other guests, were all lumped at one table despite not being accustomed to hanging out together, and as a result most of them left early or as soon it was polite to do so.
So here’s what you could say when your wedding crops up in conversation: “We’re organizing a small wedding on a tight budget for our closest family and friends.”
Most people will understand.
A friend of mine fought with her mother for the first time in her life over her wedding guest list. Her advice: “Don’t discuss the guest list until you have drafted it first!”
If you’re paying for part or or all of your wedding, maintain control of the guest list and don’t ask your parents who they would like to invite, rather say, “Mom and dad, we have space for X number people, is there anyone in particular you’d like to invite?”
My parents respected that I only wanted to invite people that meant something to either or both of us and to be fair, we invited an equal number of family members/family friends on either side (fair is fair).
There’s no perfect number of guests. I’ve heard from brides who have loved hosting 200 guests plus, and I’ve heard from others who have been happy to have 20 guests witness their wedding day. The choice is up to you and your man. But the bottom line is… it’s your party, invite who you want to. Cheers to that!
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