Jackieshauna fluff (comfort fic bc they actually CAN communicate effectively here !!)
ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/77305031/chapters/202387831
“Yes, you are. You promised.” Jackie was adamant. She had been pissed at Shauna for hiding her acceptance into Brown University, but anger aside, she was sad. Sad that her best friend wouldn’t be by her side through everything.
In her head, Jackie had already forgiven her, but Shauna didn’t need to know that. Shauna had been a mess, worried that Jackie would hate her for her deceitfulness and for her decision to break from their typical routine of doing everything that Jackie said at the drop of a hat. She was never good at saying no to Jackie, so it was easier to not say anything at all.
It’s not that she didn’t want to go to college with Jackie, but the thought of sitting through basically a second high school experience at Rutgers was unbearable. Shauna needed to be challenged, and Brown was a challenge. She didn’t even know what she was doing when she applied, and when she got accepted, she felt sick. Guilt twisted around in her stomach every time she was around Jackie, scared that she could somehow read her mind.
But Jackie wasn’t a mind reader. Shauna was a shitty liar.
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“I bought these super cute bedsheets for our beds,” Jackie flipped through a home improvement catalog, feet kicking in the air on Shauna’s bed. “It’s a flannel pattern– gross, but it’s pink and green and has little ribbons sewn into the side!”
Shauna had a textbook open next to her, not really reading, but it was something to pretend to look at to disguise her true intended gaze of watching Jackie’s face light up when she found something for their dorm. Her dorm. Jackie’s. God, Shauna really did have to tell her.
“That’s nice,” Shauna said, casually. She even relented and opted for a flannel pattern for her? Jackie hates flannel.
“I was going to buy these baby pink comforters, but I don’t know how similar you want our beds to look. I don’t want it to be like a creepy twin thing. Plus, you like those moody colors, and you’re always warm. So..”
Shauna was losing focus. ‘Jackie talked a lot. She’s so excited. She’s so cute when she’s excited,’ she thought.
“Hellooo?” Jackie waved a hand in front of her face. Oops. “You’re so spacey today.”
Shauna blinked, realizing that Jackie had a specific page flipped open and turned towards Shauna, expectant. “Oh. Um, the pink one.”
It was frilly and flowery; it was super Jackie. The other option was more bland, a more muted color, no frills.
“Really?” Jackie squealed. “You really want the pink frilly one?”
Oh shit. Jackie meant for her? She really did need to pay attention more.
But Jackie was so excited– voice shrill, limbs wrapping around Shauna’s neck.
“Yeah, I love it,” she lied. Lie, lie, lie.
“I thought for sure you’d pick the ugly, boring one,” she said, looming above her. She was so close to her face. Did she even realize?
“Nope, you know me. I love frilly flowery shit.” Shauna thought for a second that Jackie would see through the facade that she was putting on. That she would take her joking tone too seriously and everything would unravel, but no. Jackie just laughed.
“Yeah, right,” she started. “Look…”
Jackie sat up. Fuck. Here it is. She’s going to see through everything and call Shauna out. She’s going to lay into her for being a bad friend, a bad person, a liar.
“... I know you don’t really care about decorating and stuff, but I want the room to be ours. You should pick out stuff too. Even if I don’t like it, I’ll learn to like it because you picked it out. Okay?”
Shauna’s heart shattered. She felt like the worst person in the world.
“I’m not going to Rutgers, Jackie.”
The air stilled. It felt like the entire world fell off its axis.
Jackie’s mouth opened and closed a few times before croaking out a “W..what?”
Shauna fell asleep hugging that stupid home design magazine, crying into it. She cried herself to sleep, her tears staining the pages and smudging the pink highlighter circles that Jackie had drawn over things she wanted. Things that she wanted for them. Of course, Shauna ruined it. She hated herself.
Shauna called her the next day.
“Hi, Mrs. Taylor,” Shauna stammered. Had Jackie told her parents? Did they hate her too? “It’s Shauna. Is Jackie available?”
“Oh, Shauna, dear,” her voice was falsely enthusiastic. Mrs. Taylor was always faking something. “She’s not home. Can I take a message?”
“That’s alright, just tell her to call me back when she gets home, please,” she said, politely. Too polite? Not polite enough? “Thank you...”
She put the phone back on the hook, turning to go back upstairs, but not before seeing Jackie in the window of her front door.
Shauna rushed over, almost not believing her eyes. She was really here.
She opened the door, unable to speak. Jackie’s eyes were tear-stained and puffy, her hair was up in a ponytail and unkempt… it broke Shauna’s heart.
She moved aside for Jackie to come in, but she stayed on the porch.
“I am very mad at you,” her voice shook. Shauna could tell that she had rehearsed these words. “And you really hurt my feelings.”
“I’m not done.” Shauna shut up. “You are going to visit me. And I’ll visit you.” Simple enough, at least she still wanted to see her. “And you’re going to call me all the time and tell me about your day and your classes.” Okay, sure. Shauna could find a phone on campus. “And you’re going to make friends, but not a best friend.” A tear slipped out.
“Oh, Jax,” Shauna stepped outside, wrapping her arms around her.
She crumbled into her immediately, slackening into her grip. “I’m just going to miss you so much.”
Shauna’s eyes closed, breathing her in. “I’ll miss you too.”
Jackie finally leaned back, stepping inside the doorway. “And Shauna? We’re getting cellphones.”
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“This is stupid,” Shauna held the phone like it was diseased, with her thumb and her pointer finger, dangling it in the air. “Why can’t we just use the wall phone like we always do? They’ll be around campus.
“Because… because, I don’t know! What if I need you during the day? Or I’m sad and I want to call you?” Jackie stressed, exasperated.
“Well, I guess that makes sense,” Shauna held the phone slightly more normally, now smug. “I’m not carrying around a purse, though.”
Jackie rolled her eyes. “It’s small, you don’t need a purse. Just wear those cargo pants with the deep pockets and shove it in there.”
“You’re right, Jax,” Shauna softened. She should be trying, afterall. Jackie had forgiven her surprisingly quickly, talking to her parents and using money from her savings to buy them both the newest cellphones within her budget.
Jackie didn’t ask, but of course Shauna slipped money into her back pocket after she found out.
Shauna glanced over to see Jackie fiddling with a pink leather slip-case, shoving her phone inside. “It fits!”
“Why do you need that?” Shauna questioned.
“For protection? For fashion?” Jackie said, suddenly pouting. “The phone only came in black.”
“Well take it back out,” Shauna grumbled, hitting her own phone against her palm. “How does it turn on?”
“I don’t know, you didn’t read the manual,” Jackie retorted. “And you always read me stuff.”
Well, that was true. But Jackie wasn’t done. “Although, since you’re leaving me, I guess I should learn to read stuff on my own.”
Shauna stiffened. She knew that Jackie was using her dramatic-jokey voice, but she knew it was all a little bit true.
“Yeah, well, now we have cellphones. So I can call you and read you stuff whenever you want.”
That seemed to soothe Jackie. She took her phone back out of the case, sitting down on Shauna’s bed, waiting for her to start reading.
She pulled out the directions, opening the paper and snapping it open to make Jackie laugh.
“Okay,” she started, skimming the page as she went. “Oh. Where’s the charger?”
“There’s a charger?” Jackie asked.
“I think it comes with it,” Shauna squinted, bringing the paper closer to her face. “Open up the back compartment.”
“Shauna, my nail...” she protested.
“Hold this,” Shauna grumbled, handing her the instructions to free her hand. She flipped the phone around when the back compartment protested. “Oh, here, on the bottom. Where’s the packaging? They probably put it in there.”
“In my car,” Jackie said. “I was too excited to show you the phones, I just kind of ripped them open.”
“Okay, well, let’s go get that.”
Jackie hated driving, so her car was nearly unused and spotless. The only trash found was two torn-open phone packages. Shauna located the charger– one step closer to being able to use the phone and being done with this.
“This one’s all bent. Did they give you a warranty or something when you activated the phone?” Shauna started.
“When I what?” Jackie blinked.
“When you activated the phone?”
“I just took the phone and paid for it,” Jackie explained.
“What do you mean, Jackie, we don’t have phone numbers. We have to have the phones set up.”
Jackie hadn’t thought about all that.
“Oh,” Jackie replied. They both stopped dead in Shauna’s driveway. “I think we have to go back to the store.”
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It was nighttime before they sat, giddy, on Shauna’s bed. Well, Jackie was on Shauna’s bed, and Shauna was in her closet.
“Call me again!” Jackie yelled so that Shauna could hear her.
“Hello? Jaqueline Taylor’s cellular device.”
“You’re so stupid, Jackie.”
She hung up, stepping out of the closet. “We should set up answering machine messages.”
“Ooh, yeah. Yours can be like ‘Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now, I’m too busy in Rhode Island, abandoning my best friend.’”
“That’s not funny,” Shauna crossed her arms, tossing her phone on the bed.
“Wait, you’ll mix them up.” Jackie put her phone on the other side of the bed. “Maybe I should add, like, glitter on mine or something. Or a sticker. Although we won’t have to worry about that for much longer since you’re–”
“Leaving you? Abandoning everybody? The worst?”
“I wouldn’t say you’re the worst,” Jackie teased. And then, “Well, can we match?”
“Our message things. Can we do it together?”
“Oh,” Shauna blushed a little at the thought. They did everything together, so it wasn’t really a surprise, but something about Shauna being audibly there any time anyone called Jackie was flattering. And sure, she was a little possessive.
So, once Shauna read Jackie the directions on how to record a message, they rehearsed.
“Hi! You’ve reached Jackie’s phone…” She looked to Shauna, waiting.
“What am I supposed to say?”
Jackie groaned, erasing the message. “I don’t know? Say hi?”
“Say hi? But they’re calling you.”
“Okay, then say your name after mine.”
“Hey, it’s Jackie’s phone...” she looked over.
Shauna blinked. “... and Shauna?”
“Okay, maybe we can just both say ‘bye’ at the same time?” Jackie suggested.
Shauna nodded, “Okay, yeah. That’s a good idea.”
“Ready?” Jackie asked, hovering over the button, but she hesitated. “Wait, remember to say it loud.”
“So I can hear you,” Jackie said, like it was obvious. “So I can listen back and hear your voice.”
Shauna’s heart fluttered. “Okay, I’ll say it loud. But you know, you can always just call me if you want to hear my voice so bad.” She nudged her shoulder into Jackie’s.
“Shut up,” she smiled. “Just, loud, okay?”
“Hi! You’ve reached Jackie’s phone. Sorry I missed your call, but leave a message, and I’ll call you back soon! Thanks…
“Bye,” Shauna said in unison.
Jackie saved it, pleased. “Should we have said hi together too?”
“I think it’s okay, Jax. We can say hi together on mine, if you want.”
“But then they wouldn’t match,” she frowned.
“Okay, then let’s do yours over.”
They redid it until Jackie was happy with Shauna’s cadence, moving on to Shauna’s voicemail.
“Wait,” Jackie stopped her before her finger hit the record button. “Do you know what you’re gonna say?”
Shauna shrugged. “Hi, leave a message, bye?”
“You have to make it more personal!”
“No one’s going to call me, Jackie. I just got this number today.”
“I’m going to be calling you.”
“Okay, so it should be more like, ‘Hi Jackie, I miss you, Jackie, leave a message, Jackie?’”
Jackie hit her arm. “Come on, you’re going to be giving this number out and making friends, I know you. And your mom will call, and Tai..”
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” she relented. “I’m ready.”
Jackie readied herself too.
Jackie started them off in unison,
“...hi,” Shauna began. “This is Shauna. I’m not available, I guess, because I didn’t pick up.” Jackie made a face. “But I’ll call you back when I can..” she held up her fingers: 1, 2, 3…
“…Bye!” Jackie said in tune.
Shauna hit the button, looking to Jackie.
“‘I’m not available, I guess, because I didn’t pick up?”’ She questioned, smirking.
“I didn’t know what else to say,” Shauna replied. “That’s true, isn’t it? Otherwise, I would’ve picked up.”
Jackie was quiet for a moment too long.
“What’s wrong?” Shauna questioned.
“I just… I don’t want to give Jeff my number,” she said.
“Because what if he, you know, calls?”
Shauna snorted. “Well, that’s typically what you do when you get someone’s number.”
“Exactly. And what if he calls when I’m talking to you?” Jackie asked, nearing agitation. “He just talks so much, I know I’ll never be able to get him off the phone. I want this to be between us.”
“Jackie, you don’t have to give anyone your phone number,” Shauna said, putting an arm around her. “He’ll probably find out, though.”
“I think I’ll break up with him,” she decided.
“No, like for real. Everything he does just annoys me lately. You never annoy me. I don’t know why he can’t be more like you.” Jackie crossed her arms.
Shauna looked away– this was dangerous territory. “Well, what’s your excuse going to be this time?”
“College? Distance?” she tried.
“Jackie, Rutgers is like forty minutes away.”
“That’s far! I don’t know. My excuse is that I don’t like him, how’s that?”
“I wasn’t arguing with you,” she took back her arm. “I’m just saying that it should stick this time, and maybe it will if you just tell him the truth.”
Jackie nodded. “I hate when you’re right.”
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Shauna’s phone rang for the first time the next day. She was at her desk journaling when the noise surprised her, snapping her out of her stupor.
She looked at it for a moment, finding the button.
“I know. You’re the only one that has my number, remember?”
“Oh, right. Well, I did it. I broke up with Jeff.”
She put her pencil down, shifting the phone to her other ear. “You did? Are you… okay?”
“Yeah,” Jackie said. “Can I come over?”
“Of course, you don’t have to ask.”
“Yeah, okay, good because I’m already outside. I just wanted to call you.”
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The next few weeks were the same; Jackie would call Shauna a few times a day, and Shauna would answer every time. Shauna, who had taken the bent charger, would wiggle her phone around until it connected, making sure she had enough charge for another Jackie-filled day.
They talked for longer, saw each other more, as the dreaded day arrived. Shauna left for Brown two days before Jackie had planned to leave for Rutgers, and time was quickly approaching.
They both lay in Shauna’s bed, Jackie drawing shapes on Shauna’s back. But shapes soon shifted to numbers.
“Are you drawing my phone number?” Shauna asked, slightly muffled from the pillow.
“Mhm,” Jackie hummed in reply. “I have to memorize it.”
“There.” She punctuated her accomplishment by kissing Shauna’s shoulder.
Shauna made a satisfied hum, turning to face her. The sheets crinkled with her movements, the heavy feel of the room palpable.
“You know why I chose Brown, right?”
“You know I don’t want to leave you.”
Another nod. Her eyes teared.
“I’d never want to leave…”
“I know,” came Jackie’s first verbal reply. “But you have to. You’re too smart for Rutgers. No offense to my peers, or, well, me.” Shauna chuckled, but Jackie wasn’t done. “You’ll visit me, right? And we can come home for the holidays and have moments like this?”
Shauna nodded. “Of course. I can visit you a lot– I don’t mind the drive.”
“I don’t care, Jackie. It’s you. I’d drive anywhere for you.”
They were both teary-eyed now, Jackie breaking first, placing a kiss on her forehead. Shauna paused, Jackie’s lips moving to her cheek, and then lightly on her lips.
They’ve kissed more times than they could count, but every time it felt electric. Every time, they craved the next.
Jackie’s lips left hers quickly, a whisper following, barely audible, “I love you, Shauna.”
“I love you too, Jackie.”
And they fell asleep together, for the last time before everything changed.
2087
stormborns
theartofmadeline
izzy806
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