See, she thinksย sheโs growing used to Jaeโs smooth words and the way he looks at her. She thinks she knows how to deal with it. That is so far from the truth. Every time Jae says something, her heart starts beating a little faster, her body grows a little hotter, and she finds herself a blabbering mess. The extent of her reaction only varied by how direct and smooth his words and actions are. A few months ago they had agreed that sleeping together wouldnโt change a thing between them. Wasnโt that why she freaked out and avoided him, out of fear heโd look at her differently and sheโd lose her friend? They agreed theyโre friends and that they are stuck in each otherโs lives. She thought that was enough for her to make her move past what had happened between themโexcept it still plays in her head like a song she canโt get out of her head. She didnโt believe that was the case with Jae. They were vastly different people, and yet he was one of the constants in her life for years now. The mere notion of not having him in her life quite literally frightens her. Gracia is usually oblivious when it comes to flirtations and all, but what Jae says is blunt and direct, there is no debating or overthinking it. He thinks about that night, too. Her heartbeat grows faster and faster, it might actually break out of her rib cage. Sheโs never felt this intensity before. It doesnโt help that he has his arm around her and theyโre sitting in close proximity. He wants her, he wants her, he wants her. All this time sheโs thought this is in her head, that itโs just a silly one-sided thing. Sheโs just being stupid. Itโs on brand for Gracia anyway, but no, this is not one-sided. Sheโs not entirely stupid for being in her own head about this. He thinks about it, too. He wants it too. She looks over at him, focusing on his features. His eyes, which have driven her insane every time theyโre focused on her. That grinโitโs enough to make her stop and stare.ย
โโYou want this, too?โ Her voice is soft, softer than the usual, like she doesnโt believe this is actually happening to her right now. She finds herself slowly, very slowly leaning in. Be brave, Gracia, go for what you want for once. A loud sound comes all of a suddenโone of the characters just screamed so loud on the TV it startles her. Right, she forgot all about the movie. Of course she would, when Jae is looking at her like that.ย โOh my god. The movie. Oh, the gore.โ She lets out a gentle laugh, cheeks flushes so deep red sheโs embarrassed. It snaps her out of that trance she was in for a moment. However, she doesnโt realize her handโs gripping the hem of his shirt. She buries her head into his chest, laughing a little, but all she can focus on is the scent of his perfume. Get a grip, Gracia. Except, sheโs lost all sense of control right now, and thatโs apparent when she falls into temptation again, looking at Jae with doe-eyes. Their faces are inches apart and yet sheโs not making any move to close the distance, but goddamn it, itโs all she wants to do. She canโt focus on anything else.
She was special to him. As someone who always had trouble expressing his own emotions, that much he knew. Jae was someone with a reputation for sleeping around, for cutting things off with girls the moment things got serious. There were certain rules and signs that he'd noticed that made it obvious they wanted more. That their feelings for him went beyond something sexual. And in every instance, Jae knew to cut it off, and never let his own feelings catch up to theirs. Yet, Gracia was special. Somewhere along the way, she'd become the exception to every one of the rules he'd given himself. Had it been any other girl, she wouldn't be sitting next to him on his couch. Had any other girl freaked out after a hookup, he would have kept his distance after finding the truth. The most obvious rule he'd given himself was to not pursue certain girls, especially those that would see sex as more than just sex. He'd lied to himself at the time, and believed that it was a meaningless hookup to him, a night he'd move on from. But truthfully, his choice that day wasn't something that had come out of the moment. He'd thought about her before, in ways that you shouldn't really think about a friend. Jae knew beforehand that Gracia wasn't that kind of girl, the kind of girl he usually went for. Yet knowing that hadn't made him want her any less. And he'd made the selfish decision to act on his own desires, ignoring the warning signals telling him that a girl like her deserved more than anything he could for her. He thought what he felt would subside, and they'd return to a platonic friendship, an answer that had solved his problems before. Until they didn't. His feelings remained the same, but not wanting to lose her, he'd agreed that what happened was a one time thing.
It didn't help though, that everything she did seemed to only make the way he'd felt stronger. Things that girls normally did that turned him off only pulled him closer to Gracia. Even with his gaze on her, even with the flirting and every forward comment he makes, he's waiting for the okay. He wants to know that he's not reading everything wrong, that she feels the same as him. "I do," he says, dark eyes dropping down to her lips, watching as she leaned in. Any noise, as long as it is, is lost on his ears. The screams from the television screen, the quiet buzzing of his phone in his pocket. Jae finds himself tunnel visioning on Gracia, every feature on her face far more interesting than any of his surroundings, his own hooded eyes looking down at her doe-eyed, filled with desire. From the way she leans into his chest, to the look she was giving him right now, it only makes her all that more irresistable, leaving him in a trance. It was as if she consumed his every thought, and for once, Jae didn't want to fight it or diminish the way she made him feel. The hand that was once pulling her closer moved towards the nape of her neck, other grabbing ahold of the remote and muting the television without letting his eyes leave her. "Focus on me instead," Jae whispered as he gripped her waist. Just as she had, he slowly let himself lean in, before closing the distance remaining between the two, his own body igniting at the feeling of her lips against his.ย โYouโre so fucking beautiful, Gracie,โ he mumbled against her lips, intensity of the words matching the intensity of his kiss. He had no intention of stopping, no intention of slowing down, pulling her body fully against his as if the two werenโt close enough.ย