She was special to him. As someone who always had trouble expressing his own emotions, that much he knew. Jae was someone with a reputation for sleeping around, for cutting things off with girls the moment things got serious. There were certain rules and signs that he’d noticed that made it obvious they wanted more. That their feelings for him went beyond something sexual. And in every instance, Jae knew to cut it off, and never let his own feelings catch up to theirs. Yet, Gracia was special. Somewhere along the way, she’d become the exception to every one of the rules he’d given himself. Had it been any other girl, she wouldn’t be sitting next to him on his couch. Had any other girl freaked out after a hookup, he would have kept his distance after finding the truth. The most obvious rule he’d given himself was to not pursue certain girls, especially those that would see sex as more than just sex. He’d lied to himself at the time, and believed that it was a meaningless hookup to him, a night he’d move on from. But truthfully, his choice that day wasn’t something that had come out of the moment. He’d thought about her before, in ways that you shouldn’t really think about a friend. Jae knew beforehand that Gracia wasn’t that kind of girl, the kind of girl he usually went for. Yet knowing that hadn’t made him want her any less. And he’d made the selfish decision to act on his own desires, ignoring the warning signals telling him that a girl like her deserved more than anything he could for her. He thought what he felt would subside, and they’d return to a platonic friendship, an answer that had solved his problems before. Until they didn’t. His feelings remained the same, but not wanting to lose her, he’d agreed that what happened was a one time thing.
It didn’t help though, that everything she did seemed to only make the way he’d felt stronger. Things that girls normally did that turned him off only pulled him closer to Gracia. Even with his gaze on her, even with the flirting and every forward comment he makes, he’s waiting for the okay. He wants to know that he’s not reading everything wrong, that she feels the same as him. “I do,” he says, dark eyes dropping down to her lips, watching as she leaned in. Any noise, as long as it is, is lost on his ears. The screams from the television screen, the quiet buzzing of his phone in his pocket. Jae finds himself tunnel visioning on Gracia, every feature on her face far more interesting than any of his surroundings, his own hooded eyes looking down at her doe-eyed, filled with desire. From the way she leans into his chest, to the look she was giving him right now, it only makes her all that more irresistable, leaving him in a trance. It was as if she consumed his every thought, and for once, Jae didn’t want to fight it or diminish the way she made him feel. The hand that was once pulling her closer moved towards the nape of her neck, other grabbing ahold of the remote and muting the television without letting his eyes leave her. “Focus on me instead,” Jae whispered as he gripped her waist. Just as she had, he slowly let himself lean in, before closing the distance remaining between the two, his own body igniting at the feeling of her lips against his. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Gracie,” he mumbled against her lips, intensity of the words matching the intensity of his kiss. He had no intention of stopping, no intention of slowing down, pulling her body fully against his as if the two weren’t close enough.
She’s not sure how long she sits there waiting for him to reply. It might be her own giddiness making her feel like it’s been a while, but when Jae says I do, Gracia starts to feel hot all over, heart beating so fast she can barely hear anything going on around her. Jae has a way of gazing at her that feels so focused, so intense, like she’s the only girl that matters, like she’s special. It’s a look she craves and wants, and she wants this particular moment to last as much as possible. It’s a moment she’ll save and replay in her head again and again. Gracia’s not an impulsive person in the slightest, so even in this position, there’s a part of her brain working full-time trying to think of what might come after this, what this means. Would they end up in the same situation as last time? Should she stop it before they get carried away? Maybe. Except, Gracia’s tired of maybes, tired of thinking things through a thousand times. All she wants to do is not care for once, act on her impulses and feelings and disregard whatever consequences and risks that may be in store. And really, when Jae’s looking at her like that, hand cupping the nape of her neck, it’s easy to throw caution to the wind and lose herself in that moment, and just focus on him, like he’s asked, nodding slowly, eyes curious and full of want and need. So many times, it had been a conscious effort for Gracia to stop looking at him, but right now, she doesn’t have to do so. She’s about to lose her goddamn mind before he’s even kissed her yet. When his lips press against hers, a fire ignites in her. Her arms immediately go around his neck, craving the closeness and proximity. Her kiss is gentle and soft, at first, quickly turning deep and needy. If he’s trying to show her how much he wants her, the feeling is mutual, matching the intensity of his kiss. This moment, this kiss feels different than the last one they shared. She can’t place the reasoning, but she doesn’t want to think right now, except she wants to feel—his lips on hers, his hands on her body, and drown in the rush of feelings and emotions the kiss is bringing her. Her cheeks flush a deep red at his compliment, her heart skipping a beat. She doesn’t know what brings her to do this—maybe it’s the desperation for more, coupled up with the sudden burst of bravery, but she finds herself sitting up and moving onto his lap, each leg straddling his sides, keeping their bodies as close as physically possible, not breaking the kiss as she does so. If he has no intention of stopping or slowing down, she is on the same page.
