Being your own inspiration makes you attractive. It's a secret power that draws in the people you want to impress, whether they're the clients you dream of, partners for your business, the ones you love, your romantic partner, your friends, your family, or anyone lucky enough to be around you. When you're confident and enthusiastic about who you are and what you do, others can sense it too. It's a magnetic force that radiates and pulls people in.
Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror with a big smile, recognizing how amazing you are. It's like seeing a superhero, goddess version of yourself. Don't let anyone or anything make you doubt that. Not negative unhappy people, not a job that doesn't pay you enough, not your relationship status, and definitely not tough times.
Only you can decide how much you're worth. It's not about what others say or how they treat you. Your value comes from within. You have this incredible intuition that's your inner compass. It guides you toward what's right for you, what makes you truly happy, and what you're meant to achieve. Learn to tune into it.
Be your own hero, your own inspiration. Let that energy radiate from you, and watch how it attracts the right people and opportunities into your life. Your journey is unique and special, and only you can define its path.
Questions To Ask Yourself If You Want To Become The Best Version of Yourself
What do I really care about? What things are really important to me?
What am I good at, and where do I need help? What am I strong in, and what could I get better at?
What do I want to achieve soon and later? What things do I want to do soon, and what are my bigger, long-term goals?
Am I trying new things and not just staying comfy? Am I doing things that might be a bit scary but good for me?
How do I deal with problems and when things go wrong? What do I do when stuff doesn't work out?
Am I nice to myself when things don't go well? Do I treat myself kindly, especially when things are tough?
How do I use my time, and what's most important? How do I plan my day, and what things matter the most?
Am I learning new stuff regularly? Do I keep finding out new things?
Do I have a good balance between work and fun? Do I make sure to have enough time for work and for things I enjoy?
Do I have good friendships and avoid bad ones? Am I friends with people who make me feel good?
Do I take care of my body? Am I eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough?
Do I think about my feelings and thoughts? Do I pay attention to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking?
How do I deal with stress and make myself calm? What do I do when I'm stressed out?
Do I help others and make the world better? Do I do things to make people's lives nicer?
Do I have good habits and get rid of bad ones? Are there things I do every day that are good for me? Are there things I should stop doing?
Do I learn from what people say about me? When people give me advice, do I listen and try to get better?
Do I say no when I need to? Do I tell people when I need space or when something isn't okay for me?
What makes me really happy? What do I like to do that makes me feel great?
Do I use money wisely? Am I good at saving and spending money in smart ways?
Do I believe I can improve and get better? When things are tough, do I think I can get through them and learn something?Am I being kind to others and making them feel good? Do I treat people nicely and make them happy?
Do I learn from things I do wrong? When I make a mistake, do I figure out how to do better next time?
Do I try new things, even if they scare me a little? Do I give things a shot, even if they seem a bit scary?
Am I spending time with people who care about me? Do I hang out with folks who like me for who I am?
Do I eat healthy foods and move my body? Am I eating good stuff and getting some exercise?
Am I sharing and helping others when I can? Do I give stuff to others and lend a hand when I'm able to?
Am I paying attention when people talk to me? Do I really listen when others are speaking to me?
Do I take breaks and do things I enjoy? Do I give myself time to rest and do things I like?
Do I say sorry and make up if I hurt someone? When I make someone feel bad, do I apologize and try to make things better?
Do I imagine good things for myself in the future? Do I think about cool stuff I want to do?
Do I stop and relax when I'm feeling stressed? When I'm worried, do I take a moment to calm down?
Do I ask for help when I need it? Do I tell someone when I can't do something on my own?
Do I try my best, even when things are tricky? Even if it's hard, do I give it my all?
Do I pick up after myself and keep things tidy? Am I good at cleaning up and keeping things in order?
Do I use my time for things that matter most? Do I do important stuff before other things?
Do I think about good things that happened today? Do I remember all the nice things that occurred?
Am I okay with making mistakes and learning from them? Do I know it's okay to mess up sometimes and learn from it?
Do I show appreciation for the people around me? Do I let others know I'm thankful for them?
Do I take deep breaths and relax when I'm upset? When I'm mad, do I breathe and try to calm down?
Do I believe I can do better and keep growing? Do I think I can get better at things and keep getting smarter?
Am I happy with who I am right now? Do I like myself just as I am?
Do I feel okay when things don't go as planned? When stuff doesn't work out, do I stay calm?
Do I think about good things about myself? Do I focus on the nice parts of me?
Do I let go of things that make me sad? When something makes me upset, can I move on from it?
Do I notice when I'm feeling worried or scared? Am I aware of when I'm feeling nervous or frightened?
Do I believe I can do things even if they're tough? Can I do hard things if I try?
Do I try to make my mind peaceful? Do I relax my thoughts when they're racing?
Do I find things that make me feel relaxed? What can I do to feel calm and at ease?
Am I patient when things take time? Can I wait without getting upset?
Do I talk kindly to myself in my head? Do I say nice things to myself in my mind?
Am I curious about things and want to learn? Do I like to find out new stuff?
Do I think about good times and happy memories? Do I remember fun things that happened before?
Do I try to understand how others feel? Can I tell what others are feeling?
Do I imagine nice things happening in the future? Can I think about good stuff that might come?
Do I take time to rest and be by myself? Do I give myself breaks and quiet time?
Do I let go of things I can't change? Can I forget about things I can't do anything about?
Do I believe I can do things even if I don't know how yet? Do I think I can learn new things?
Do I tell myself I'm doing a good job? Do I give myself a pat on the back?
Do I stay calm even if things are really busy? Can I be relaxed even when things are crazy?
Do I know that I can make mistakes and it's okay? Do I understand that everyone messes up sometimes?
How to Stop Procrastinating by Managing Your Emotions
Procrastination happens when we delay doing things, and it's often connected to our emotions. Feelings like being afraid to fail, feeling worried or stressed, getting bored, or lacking motivation can all contribute to procrastination. To stop procrastinating and get more things done, it's important to learn how to handle our emotions better.
Boredom:
Break the task into smaller, more engaging sub-tasks.
Find ways to make the task more interesting or challenging.
Set a timer and work on the task for a specific amount of time, followed by a short break doing something enjoyable.
Feeling Overwhelmed:
Prioritize tasks and focus on one thing at a time.
Break the task into smaller, more manageable steps.
Delegate some parts of the task if possible or seek help from others.
Use tools like to-do lists or task management apps to stay organized.
Anxiety:
Practice deep breathing or mindfulness techniques to calm yourself.
Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.
Start with the easier or less intimidating aspects of the task to build momentum.
Set realistic expectations and remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes.
Self-Doubt:
Focus on past accomplishments and successes to boost your confidence.
Seek support or feedback from others to gain reassurance.
Remind yourself of your skills and capabilities to tackle the task.
Use positive affirmations to counteract negative self-talk.
Perfectionism:
Embrace the concept of "good enough" rather than seeking perfection.
Set realistic and achievable goals for each task.
Recognize that mistakes and imperfections are part of the learning process and growth.
Indecisiveness:
Break decisions into smaller steps and make one small decision at a time.
Set a time limit for making decisions to avoid overthinking.
Trust your instincts and make the best decision you can with the information available.
Apathy or Lack of Interest:
Find aspects of the task that align with your values or long-term goals.
Break the task into smaller, more manageable parts and focus on completing one at a time.
Reward yourself for completing the task to make it more appealing.
Stress or Burnout:
Practice stress-reduction techniques such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature.
Break tasks into smaller steps to reduce the feeling of overwhelm.
Prioritize self-care and take breaks to avoid burnout.
Feeling Uninspired or Creatively Blocked:
Engage in activities that stimulate creativity, such as brainstorming, mind mapping, or seeking inspiration from others' work.
Start with a simple and basic version of the task to get the creative juices flowing.
Collaborate with others or seek feedback to gain new perspectives.
Fear of Success:
Identify and challenge the negative beliefs or fears that may be holding you back.
Visualize the positive outcomes of completing the task successfully.
Focus on the benefits and personal growth that come with success.
Impatience:
Break long-term goals into smaller milestones to track progress.
Practice mindfulness to stay present and patient throughout the process.
Remind yourself that progress takes time and effort.
Lack of Confidence:
Celebrate your past accomplishments to boost your confidence.
Seek support and encouragement from friends, family, or mentors.
Focus on building specific skills related to the task to increase confidence.
Avoiding Discomfort:
Acknowledge that discomfort is a natural part of growth and improvement.
Break tasks into smaller steps and tackle the more challenging aspects gradually.
Remind yourself of the long-term benefits of facing discomfort.
Overestimating Future Motivation:
Practice discipline and commit to starting tasks even when motivation is low.
Set specific deadlines for tasks to create a sense of urgency.
Establish a routine that includes regular work on the task to build consistency.
A great guy has no interest in seeing you scale back your ambitions so that he can feel good about himself.
On the contrary, he loves to see you flourish. For him, supporting your success only means more excitement and adventure. He loves seeing what you make of your life and cares about protecting your dreams.
In short, the high-value guy lives to see you playing at an extraordinary level.
He isnāt afraid of you over-taking him
Guys worth dating arenāt fussed about out-earning you or worried about who is further ahead in their career.
He wonāt get insecure because you happen to be a lawyer or have a PhD, nor will he fret about your substantial paycheck. He doesnāt measure his life in competition with yours, because (would you believe it?) he has self-esteem and measures his life on more than just achievement.
He wants to provide for you
This one might seem like it immediately invalidates the previous point, but it doesnāt.
Hereās why: Even though heās fine with you over-taking him financially, a high-value guy still wants to be someone who can provide for you in all kinds of ways.
This doesnāt mean he wants to pay for everything, but heāll work hard to be the kind of man who can protect and serve you, whether by being emotionally strong, financially independent, or by being able to treat you to incredible experiences and indulgent surprises.
Heās turned on by your independence
āDamsel in constant distressā is not sexy to a high-value guy.
A man worth being with delights in seeing you handle your own life (even if he loves to help now and then), and will want to encourage anything that promotes your autonomy and independence.
While every man loves to feel needed, only insecure daddy-type guys seek to acquire importance by seeing you helpless and entirely dependent on them.
Heās responsive to your needs, even if he doesnāt always get them right first time
Ok, he might not know the *exact* words that turn you on most right away, or he might not realise that āquality timeā is your love language, or he may not know that handwritten birthday cards make you melt.
But he learns. And responds when he drops the ball and gets it wrong.
The best guy isnāt a mind-reader, but he is an expert at following the signs if you make them clear enough.
Just enjoy it (and for godās sake let him know how happy his effort makes you Āā positive reinforcement works!). Showing him that you notice and appreciate his listening skills is the best way to get more of it.
He doesnāt need to be asked twice to come and help you out of a bind
Youāre in trouble? You need help with your university paper and want someone to come and read it at 4am the night before submission? You need to be saved from your family?
Heāll jump out of bed and into his car to come and save you before youāve even put down the phone. He might not like the ādamsel in constant distressā, but the ādamsel having an occasional freak outā will make him drive all night like a knight riding to save a princess.
He wonāt take your crap
Be warned: high-value guys have high expectations. If youāre ok with that, this will only raise your game.
Heās strong, and that means he doesnāt put up with draining people in his life.
He has no interest in indulging complaining and doesnāt have time to waste endlessly going over old problems or moaning about the past.
If youāre being unreasonable, heāll tell you. To your face. Like a man. In other words, be ready for a guy who will stand up for himself and wonāt stand for being walked over.
He takes care of his life with minimal fuss
High value guys limit the amount of time they spend wallowing in self-pity after a setback. They are responsive in the face of failure and spring into action at the sight of problems rather than falling apart.
Of course, heās still human. And vulnerable. Which is a good thing. So sometimes heāll need love and reassurance that everything will be ok. But then heāll be back on his feet and fighting to get a grip again.
When the castle crumbles, heās the one who starts stacking bricks to rebuild the fortress.
He cares about keeping small promises
In the book The Road by Cormac McCarthy, the son tells his father: āIf you break little promises, youāll break big ones.ā
This is essentially the philosophy of a high value guy. Itās his code. He doesnāt feel ok simply shrugging his shoulders when he promised to pick up your shopping on the way home and just forgot. He kicks himself when he promised heād book that restaurant and it totally slipped his mind.
The idea of not living up to his word is death to him. As it should be for all of us.
Speaking of whichā¦
He chooses his words carefully
A guy who is great relationship material says nothing idly. He doesnāt make empty proclamations of love that he doesnāt feel in his heart.
He wonāt say trite phrases or go through the motions if he thinks heās just using cheap sentiment to soothe you without addressing the real problem.
If he says he adores you, he means it.
Heāll comfort you. Heāll stroke your hair and tell you youāre incredible. But he wonāt make everything sound easy or simple when itās not. Because he cares about big ideas like Truth and Honesty.
He wants to improve without needing to be asked
Great guys are always looking for ways to be better.
He doesnāt want to get healthy because you asked him to, he wants to do it because he takes pride in caring about his body.
He reads books not to show off, but because he takes education seriously.
He seeks adventure not to impress you, but because he wants to grab life and suck up experiences while heās on this earth.
He seeks success because he wants to fulfil his potential, not because he arbitrarily wants a bigger paycheck.
At his core, heās self-motivated. That might sometimes mean he tries a bit harder than he needs to, but thatās a much better problem to have than having a lazy man who never makes an effort.
Heāll āgrasp nettlesā
I stole this one from advertising genius David Ogilvy, who wrote āleaders grasp nettlesā.
What Ogilvy meant by this is that leaders in life are willing to do the difficult action that no-one else will. This is the same of any high-value guy. He doesnāt run from the difficult or sensitive conversation. He confronts problems. He makes the difficult phone call.
He doesnāt put off troubles hoping theyāll just blow over. Which is why others respect him and look up to him.
Heāll invest in the relationship without losing himself in it
Maybe it sounds romantic to think of the Edward Cullen obsessive-love type boyfriend, but in the real world a high-value guy is capable of falling loving without obsessing (he can still be passionate and intense, just not in the creepy stalker-esque way vampire romance novels portray it).
Guys who are well-balanced have multiple sources of joy in their world. Friends. Family. Fulfilling work. Because theyāve learnt how to be happy being single first (as Iāve spoken about before).
All of these are important to him, even if eventually you become the most important thing to him.
He listens to what you tell him and responds
As mentioned earlier, high value guys want to make you happy. And this means they listen. They look for clues. They are endlessly curious about you as their partner and want to understand your mind.
Youāll usually see this in the amount of thought he puts into gifts and trips, particularly if it involves things heās clearly decided based on your previous conversations.
Of course, that does NOT mean heāll always get it right. Even high-value guys will sometimes get it completely wrong and screw up badly (we have to be realistic, after all). But crucially, heāll keep trying to fulfil your needs. Heāll remember when he messed up and adjust his behaviour. And if you communicate your standards well, heāll strive to live up to them.
He has unique pairings
High value guys, like high value women, donāt rely on a single personality trait.
He can be intellectual and deep, but he can also be exciting and totally silly. Heās comfortable being sexual, but heās also a gentleman and has class. Heās fiercely loyal, but ready to double-down on his principles when his view differs from everyone elseās.
The best people always embody both sides of the coin.
He builds a future with you
The high-value guy who is serious about you will want to make you the strongest team in the world. Heās loyal and wants to find ways to bring you closer together, which means he thinks about the future with you and discusses it openly.
That doesnāt mean heāll necessarily move quickly, but it does mean he wants to invest in the relationship and make your emotional connection stronger so that he can share his world with you.
Stephen Hussey Iāve spoken manyĀ times in these blogs about what makes aĀ high value woman. Because of this, sometimes Matt or I will be accus
1. Donāt interrupt. Let the speaker finish what they are saying ā and at a speed that is comfortable for them ā before formulating your own response.
2. Give the speaker your full and undivided attention. Ignore what is happening around you and block out distracting noises.
3. Pay attention to your own internal dialogue, and donāt allow your mind to wander. This is not the time for you to be judging, or mentally criticising the speaker, or to be thinking about all the items on your to-do list. Focus on what is being said, the tone of voice, and the body language of the speaker.
4. Pay attention to your own body language. Ask yourself: what kind of vibes am I giving off? What kind of message am I sending? The emphasis should be on looking and sounding concerned, interested, focused, accepting and genuine.
5. Be comfortable with silence. Often silence encourages the person to say more. Also, we donāt need to have an answer to every question, or a solution to every problem. Most of the time itās presence and empathy that count the most.
6. Donāt get drawn into playing the game of āI have it so much worse than you; or my problem is bigger than yours.ā In this situation, you are there for them. They are the focus and priority right now.
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