Spit it out.

Give me durians and we'll be lifelong friends

[byzantium-aureolin]

Been a while

No idea why I suddenly had the thought to come to this place, but well well well.

I was still a single man in my last post but I'm just past my first year of marriage, staying in my new flat, and generally happy with how life is rn.

People that I know whom I follow have not been here for years. Tbh when I opened the site I got a bit sentimental lol. Youknowwhere has always been a place where I find myself just typing and typing, knowing that probably no one knows about me on this space here. Not that I mind ppl knowing or what, but just this tinge of secrecy makes things a lil exciting lol.

Had late night thoughts about the value of time. And friendship. And relationships in general.

fomo is real. But growing up is real too. Acceptance comes with sacrifice, regardless whether it's tangible or not. We live in different times now, different stages of life. Things come and go, moments do not stay forever. Is it better to close oneself to prevent sadness; Is it better to have had no regrets.

I probably cant rmb what triggered this post when I look at it years later. I wonder what stage of life I will be at then.

Thats all for now.

[byzantium-aureolin]

It’s 2.44am. I am about to propose to my gf tmr, and I am making a video (super last minute, I know) about our 12 years since we’ve known each other.

Tears in my eyes, could be the wind.

It’s really happening.

[byzantium-aureolin]

Rejection

I rejected two job offers this week.

I have never done this before. I mean, most of us are often on the receiving end of rejections right. 

It was easier to email company A, given that I have always prioritised company B over A. It was hard to reject company B though. The bosses and colleagues felt very welcoming and nice. I have a friend working there and I’ve talked to her about the company. Good vibes.

Ultimately I decided to stay with my current company. For a bit of context, my contract in my current division was ending. I applied for jobs outside, and also interviewed with another division within the company. Was rejected initially, but then offered another role in that division, different section.

So it was between current company, and company B. Lol how to choose sia. But I guess 做生不如做熟 (Do something familiar rather than something unfamiliar). And there really wasn’t a compelling reason for me to leave my current company also. Bosses are good, colleagues are nice, work environment is good. I guess there isnt a push factor for now?

I hope that I have made the right choice. LOL i really dk sia. Lemme come back to this platform some months later and see how it goes bah.

[lizclimo]

[gogogadget2lesbiansdoingit-deac]

[cumonthevoid]

im sorry rosie youve been a good friend

[byzantium-aureolin]

2am

Late nights recently for the past week cos... FYP. But yes I am finally done with my thesis! I know I didnt complete the proof of one theorem but.. help lah i really dk how to prove it I tried my best and wrote it halfway only. My prof couldnt solve it also (though I asked him only the day before so...)

The day before, I reached home at 10+ after going to korean bbq with jayne. The side dishes were bad. I was hoping for good side dishes cos that was the main reason why I wanted to eat kbbq. So anw, I was so tired I just went to bed right after I reached home. I stank.

Talking about sleeping, there was this once when I told myself I had to stay up to do my FYP, and the next moment, I woke up on my bed half naked. I was very confused cos

1. I had no recollection of going to bed.

2. I sleep on the top layer of a bunk bed, and I really have no idea how I ended up there.

Sad cos it was a wasted night.

Was looking at some friends’ youknowwhats (Do ppl still use this term) and realise that I really miss my friends. I think sometimes I try to make new friends and all, and I kinda end up knowing quite a number of people, and me being me, I can strike up a conversation relatively well (to ppl I like that is). But it gets a bit overwhelming at times and I don’t make much meaningful conversation also.

I forgot what was my point already.

Going to graduate in 2 months, and I am still looking for a job. Department of Stats is taking very long, and the longer they take, the more I think they might not actually offer me a job. (Words written as such cos they called me and said “We are going to check your referrals and if everything is ok, we will send you a formal offer in 3-4 weeks”. It’s been 2+ weeks since that call and I am getting nervous. But was telling myself to just keep applying for more jobs!!

Part of me wants to start working and start earning my keep (and I envision my nights to be better than how it is now cos I dont have to study), and a large part of me is just done studying, though I know I will definitely miss it. I’m quite bochup with my class already. No way my FYP is going to get an A, which is the bare minimum for me to get my FCH lmao. A high second upper is not bad also right?

[byzantium-aureolin]

Week 7

Thesis submission in 5 days.

Mid Terms in 6 days.

Another mid terms in 16 days.

Concert in 20 days.

Idw to sleep already :(

[byzantium-aureolin]

CAP

Is all this pain worth it, just for the first class

[byzantium-aureolin]

Gentle reminder

That the world is filled with different types of people that I have never encountered before. Please do not think that my past interactions will always apply in the future.

[4gifs]

[the-absolute-best-gifs]

It really doesn’t matter how big or how small they are, all cats are fucking adorable morons.

[thecutestofthecute]

[byzantium-aureolin]

Stress

Sudden feel of being overwhelmed by expectations of myself by me and how time is passing faster than I can handle.

Help

[byzantium-aureolin]

Expectations

When you tell everyone that they should be proud of themselves for doing their best, that results do not matter that much when they have tried their best.

But you can’t come to terms with yourself if you cannot achieve what you wanted to do.

The irony.

[byzantium-aureolin]

RIP.

Hi Jia Yan. I rmb knowing you by that name when I first met you. Back in 2011 when we attended CLIC camp. That was how you introduced yourself to us. No wonder I couldn’t find you on facebook cos your name there was Jasmine Lim haha. We weren’t very close friends, but we talked at some point in our time. Can’t really remember our interactions but it involved us playing Marco Polo and me being a rhino of some sort (Thank Facebook) 

Although we weren’t close friends, it still hit me hard knowing that a young life was lost. And much harder since I knew you personally. The moment of shock and disbelief gets washed over by sadness at the loss of a life.

May you be in a better place now. Rest in peace. :(

PS: Stay safe my friends. Most of the time we are careful, but the people around us aren’t.

[byzantium-aureolin]

Sometimes it’s not about whether you understand it or not, but its about appreciating the effort put into it. Months and months of practice. It’s sth to know that people recognise the time put into it.

Really 台上一分钟，台下十年功

[byzantium-aureolin]

On the other side of the Earth but wah seriously how many more lives have to be taken before anything is going to be done most of them are born in the 2000s???? This is just so sad.

[byzantium-aureolin]

好累啊

That’s ‘I’m so tired’ in chinese.

Week 4 of school and things are starting to get overwhelming. Not really what is happening right now, but the uncertain future ahead that sometimes makes my heart beat faster than it should.

I rmb yesterday when KY (lmao another KY) told me that he got an internship at some school, teaching coding (python) to students, and that I should get an internship soon. Scaring myself that I’m not doing much about it. 

Taking up tuition assignments also. And I have NUSCO along with VACO, and tuition at the centre. 

How do people do this sia.