c0deblue

[c0deblue]

For some time, I’ve felt as though I’ve been merely an observer in this life, rather than an active participant. Sometimes I wonder if I actually died from one of those suicide attempts in my teens and everything since then has been some kind of lucid dream: a never ending limbo where I yearn for a belonging that remains painfully, agonizingly just out of reach.

Maybe it’s finally time to sever the cord tethering me to this purgatory. Free me from this simultaneous emptiness and insurmountable despair.

“It takes admirable courage not only to try but also to gracefully give up.”

- Albert Camus, Notebooks 1951-1959

[perlmuttbluete]

And slowly, the illness became a devotion. An obsession. A prayer whispered to a god that only answered with more hunger.

-Notes from the bathroom floor

[undinesea]

My fall, my love, my wreckage.

René Char, from Hypnos Waking: Prose and Poetry

[frodothefair]

Ernest Hemingway, Islands in the Stream

[nixscriptum]

[wildweirwood]

— Faith Alexandria, Untitled Work

[salemwitchtrials-deactivated202]

[nixscriptum]

[mournfulroses]

Olivia Tapiero, from her book titled "Nothing At All," originally published in January 2026

[wildweirwood]

— Faith Alexandria, Untitled Work

[angelstills]

Les Enfants du Paradis (Children of Paradise, 1945)

[nixscriptum]

[nightquotes]

“It hurts to leave a light on for nobody.” — Graham Foust

[s1ck-pup]

[thoughtkick]

“I was so afraid of hurting their feelings that I forgot that they could hurt mine too. And now that they have, I wonder if I’ve truly been alone all this time—I’ve just been too blind to see it.”

— Unknown

[nixscriptum]

[nixscriptum]