I hauled myself onto my soapbox and waddled off after. My message was important, dammit.

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@cabriolesofesme
I hauled myself onto my soapbox and waddled off after. My message was important, dammit.
Button, I love you and all but you're as obnoxious as both of your dads. Please stop. We're stuck together for a little bit longer. I don't want to keep screaming GET OUT at you.
This little one needs to calm down with the growing. I swear there's two. I'm no longer thin.
Oliver Donahue, Lupita Nyong’o and Malachi Crane at LAFCA Awards
I'm pregnant. I don't care.
I did a thing. The thing's trailer finally got released.
Am I supposed to post my pee stick with the two lines on it? Is that how this is done here? I’m not going to. So there’s that news. I logged on just to announce that.
Is a certain someone pregnant? Is there going to be a baby? A real live baby? … Our baby?
I'd hope its our baby. Otherwise some aliens came down and impregnated me while I wasn't paying attention.
Am I supposed to post my pee stick with the two lines on it? Is that how this is done here? I'm not going to. So there's that news. I logged on just to announce that.
Oh you boys.
Ainsley: What are we all doing? Are we all holding our mics in the same manner in which we treat the willys of our significant others? I'm going to just hold my mic and glare at him over there. I know he's over there. Cause he stalks me instead of staying in the bus.
Elijah: And this girls, is how you properly hold a willy. Are you looking. Pay attention to Professor Elijah.
Conley: Can I eat this....?
Liam: Oh God. Oh God. Don't look at it. They'll know I do things behind closed doors. I'm holding it perfectly though so they'll know anyway.
Adonis: Look at my hands. They're gorgeous. Obviously the best looking hands on earth. And look at my pinky. Huh. My pinky is kind of long. I wonder if it'll go... while I'm doing this to him... CAN WE STOP THE SHOW AND GO BACK TO THE BUS NOW?
This concludes the One Direction commentary by Esme.
Are we all posting Georgia Rose?
She's prettier than me.
Will be kicking you in the balls from now on.