Disrupted Smiles.

var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5226540"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=Disrupted smile&e2=Disrupted smiles&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); Will the sun ever beam?

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

I LOVE YOU

how I hope this is true.

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

suicide attempt failed. I just got home from the hospital after being on watch for almost 72 hours.

thank you for the kind messages. I'm going to start getting the help I truly need, no matter how long it takes, I will do my best to fight. The moment I preceded to attempt at ending my life, regret filled my veins as well as tremendous amounts of codeine. I'm tired, and at first was disappointed to see a spit of light coming out of my hospital room window, but i'm here. & I have to start understanding that was no mistake..

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

I know you will ignore this post, but I am killing myself tonight. this will be my last post. i have tried all i can to beat the darkness but i refuse to run anymore. i'm tired and exhausted. hope to see you all on the otherside. farewell .

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

the darkness has won.

i'm going to end it all. I can't take it, no one is here for me and i'm fading away. the plan is already set. you guys won because apparently you ignoring my cry for help pushed the ladder under my feet as I was tying the noose. see you on the other side.

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

i really need a friend right now.

Please talk to me. write me. someone, anyone. i really need a friend. a listening (or reading for that matter) ear.

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

I need help. my feet are dangling off the edge

What keeps you alive? I have nothing keeping me here. I just wanna fucking end it all. my pain is getting heavier to bare.

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

just got home from the ER and

I'm tired, and need positivity to read. I know you don't know me, but I need to know that someone might actually give a shit if I were gone. this pain is breaking my body down, second by second.

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

I want to kill myself

everyday is getting harder to bare. I don't want to be like the other lost souls who ended up on a list because they couldn't grasp their happiness in this life. I'm trying, so hard, but i'm getting more and more exhausted. every sunny day seems gray, the demon's screeches are louder, and I feel absolutely forgotten. so i'm asking for your help. any quote, any song, any poem, any sentence that helped you or a friend in a down time in their life, hell, even a bible verse, would mean the most to me. I'm fading out here. every day I think of a new date when i'll just "end it all" and how i'll exit this world. every day i'm writing rough drafts of goodbye letters to my parents and I feel the finalized versions coming soon. i'm not living, i'm just existing, wasting and taking up space. I truly don't want to feel this way but the depression has made it's mark, and nothing has worked. i'm drowning, shouting underwater, and I don't have much voice in me left.

thanks in advance.

 - K

[caffeinatedcodeine-blog]

I tried killing myself

and failed. i'm so disappointed and angry. my existence feels like a mistake, a lie, a waste, a burden, a disgusting joke. I wish I had more to offer but I don't. Depression fucking sucks, and to those who know someone who has it, please hug them tight and never let them go. Don't tell them they are dramatic or what they're experiencing is fake because you have no idea what's going on in their head unless you have felt the pain before. It's so hard being alone on this. No one around me understands the daily sadness I dread every time I open my eyes. All the "friends" who said they would be there for me aren't, my parents get irritated every time I bring up my depression or make it about them, and I always think like "wow, i'm 24, am I ever going to feel better?" I'm told to pray but God always feels so far away. It's time I go away. I'm exhausted.