what color does your love feel like ?
DAN HENG: DARK STORMY BLUE.
sinking ships, raging seas and tumultuous hearts, love isn't easy for you. it's a struggle, a constant inner fight of ' should i? can i? do i? ' feelings are hard and they rumble inside you in a dissatisfied mess that begs to be let out. your heart screams and cries inside you and you... you can't, you won't. you're scared. and love is scary, it's hard and sometimes it just doesn't work out. people leave, people hurt, people change their minds. and you and your cold stormy heart yearn for the calmness, for the distance, to be allowed and able to simply not feel. and yet, you do. it rages, it fights and storms inside you and you try to keep it down, keep it quiet, to feel pretending not to. it's the burn of childhood friends growing apart, of parents that aren't quite there, of relationships that burn out. so you snuff it down with water, cold and calming and blue, blue, blue. but being loved by you is blue too, just not in that way. it's the soothing, embracing feeling of floating, the moment when you sink down bellow the waves and become one with the water, with everything. it's the balance, the dramatic yet calming sound of waves that crash against a rocky shore. you're the good and the bad, the violence of the storm and the watery peace right after. you're the blue, blue feeling and loving you is watery tears, yelled confessions that no one will hear and burying your feelings in a deep watery grave never to be found out about. your love is dark stormy blue, it's vast and deep and all encompassing, it's safety in the surface of danger, it's trusting the unruly abyss and yet i'd gladly risk drowning just to feel what it's like being loved by you.
TAISHAKUTEN: DEEP STAINING RED.
ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed & twisted. It's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. it rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. and you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. atlas holding up the world, how are you? is your love still flowing? is your heart still open? still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink? because i see them, i read them, i love them and you, you, you, you. clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.
