* HOMEMADE / DYNAMYTE !

aiden quinn-wright. twenty-two. former firefighter. unaffiliated survivor.

[calcmities-blog]

joxpacker‌.

Moments after she stumbles back, his hands reach out towards her in case she trips over the mess but the delayed reaction is unnecessary. He does his best to steady himself but sways along with his laughter. “Dun. Dun. DUNNN,” his laughter continues but comes to an abrupt stop as the unmistakeable fire of alcohol tracing its way back up introduces itself. “I–” His stomach contracts and Jo backs away quickly. “I don’t feel so–” Again, his stomach contracts, this time more violently, and pushes up its contents in an effort to purge itself. Jo runs out of the room and into the night’s frigid late February temperatures with bare feet and in a thin worn out shirt that does nothing to keep his warmth. Still, he urges himself forward but at the realization that he won’t be making it any further, he clings onto the safety railing of the second floor and leans over to disgorge himself. The liquid flows out mercilessly, his pale skin turning a faint red as he empties out his stomach and watches its content fall down onto the first floor. 

There are words on the tip of her tongue when he suddenly backs away, though they are long forgotten by the time he reaches the door. Even from her spot inside his room, Aiden was able smell the putrid stench of regurgitated liquor. A part of her feels that him falling ill as a result of their drinking was a sign, a sign to stay sober. After all, clear minds and level heads will get them further in their new world than the bottle of Whiskey ever could. “Oh shit,” falls softly from her lips, and operating purely on instinct, she’s by his side in a matter of seconds. She reaches out a tentative hand to touch his back, lightly rubbing it in attempt to be of some use by means of comfort. “Jo, I’m so sorry – I never should’ve suggested us drinking…” She trails off, prepared to usher him back inside once he’s finished purging the remaining liquor from his system. “Uh, alcohol lowers body temp, and being out here definitely isn’t helping, so you’re covering up when we get back in, don’t even try fighting me on it.

[calcmities-blog]

[thisblogisdead12345-deactivated]

literally every single Jewish woman is cute sorry I don’t make the rules

[thirteenreasonsgifs]

requested by @artobsessedwhitegirl

[calcmities-blog]

joxpacker.

The idea of walking around entirely naked humors Jo who, in his state, genuinely considers the thought of embarrassing Aiden by stripping entirely of his clothes and laughs but, ultimately, decides it would be inappropriate. Mostly, he would be very cold. The latter seals the deal. It’s the glaring that brings him back to their sudden pillow fight and provokes his laughter. He lifts his arm in defense but the pillow still crashes against his head. “Hey!” He yells out in between laughs before attempting to wrestle the pillow out of her hands. “How are you so tiny and so strong?” He asks before giving up on fighting for the pillow. He reaches for the blanket that had been tucked into his bed, accidentally pulling along part of the mattress with it. With complete disregard of the mess and his bed’s new position, he tosses the blanket over Aiden’s head, then grabs the other pillow and smacks her with it. 

Aiden’s not sure why, but the part of her that would typically encourage the opposite party to do any and everything out of their comfort zone or to make things more interesting, was not out to play. The part that was, however, put on her game face in the name of taking him down. She always had been competitive when she actually wanted to apply herself, an impromptu pillow fight just so happened to be one of those times. His attempts to pull the pillow from her grasp results in an uncontrollable fit of laughter, making responding to his question all the more difficult. Just as soon as she’s caught her breath enough to speak, she mumbles her reply with another swing at Jo’s head. “What I lack in height, I make up for in strength. Duh!” The bed noticeably shifts in his pursuit of the blanket, which throws her off her game long enough for him to get the jump. Mid-attempt to pull it back over her head, his own pillow smacks into her. She stumbles back, another fit of giggles taking over. “Hey now! Who turned out the lights?”

[onetreehill-gifs]

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@joxpacker!!

[calcmities-blog]

joxpacker.

Jo’s eyes crinkle into the droopy manner that they tend to do when he smiles. Without a moment’s hesitation he has already told her, “There’s still plenty of time to figure that one out,” and continued to head in the direction of the bathroom. Whether they really did have plenty of time to figure their selves out – or well, to do anything really – was dependent on whether or not a zombie herd chose to tear through their makeshift fence, but a drunk Jo did not consider this. Instead, he stands over the bathroom’s threshold fumbling with his jean’s zipper when he’s hit on the head with a pillow. He places his hand on his head, turning dramatically slow to look at Aiden. Momentary confusion registers on his face before he remembers their current living situation. “Oh!” He places his hand on his hip and another on his lips as though the fact that they’re without water is a shocking revelation. “Oh dear,” he mumbles, his thoughts threatening to re-enter their dark reality before his gaze lands on her shielded face and a grin is effortlessly brought forward as he pushes everything else aside. “My pants are still on, you loser. Plus, I thought,” he says as he reaches for the pillow by his feet, “You had seen evverrryythinggg already.” He tosses the pillow back at her but it lands on the bed rather than on her. He returns to where she sits, grabbing another pillow and tossing it at her face without any particular consideration or grace at a much closer distance.

While drunkenly, Jo’s reaffirmation that she had time to figure herself out was more than enough to actively push the thought from her mind, though she couldn’t help but find herself lingering on the many things that could go wrong in their new world. Not only did they no longer have running water, there was no electric, supplies were beginning to dwindle, and people were only getting more and more comfortable in the newfound dystopia. It felt silly to waste even a second on something as minuscule as her identity, not when she had much more important things to focus on. She sighs as her attention shifts back to him, giggling as his dramatic reaction plays out in front of her. “When have you ever said, and I quote, “oh dear”, Joey?” Aiden’s nose crinkles at the thought, finding that it made him sound even more like the eighty-five year old grandpa he was on the inside. Her hands drop from her face, folding back in her lap. His movements are slow, yet she watches for any signs of retaliation. “Everything? Of what? You?” She mimes gagging, though there’s an undeniable smirk pulling through her feigned disgust. “Have not!” The thought accompanied by his futile attempt at throwing the pillow back at her distracts her long enough for him to get the jump. When the second attempt smacks her in the face, she sits silently glaring at him for a moment before picking it up and taking a swing at his head. "Take--" A huff, then another, only that time at his chest. "that!"

[calcmities-blog]

joxpacker.

A full smile is easily coaxed out of Jo because if there’s one thing he will never stop appreciating, it’s Aiden’s consideration for what he wanted. At times it was strange to be taken so into account when it felt as though half of his other world rarely remembered he had an opinion. “I don’t feel pressured into anything. I’m extremely, extremely anti-pressured right now.” He gave a half-hearted laugh that transitioned into a lingering grin as she complained about the comparison. “You’re focusing on the wrong thing! I just said you’re very cool. Supa-dupa-fly.” He nudges her as though he’s about to change the conversation but the hint of a smile still rests on his lips. “I’ll tell you a secret.” He pauses dramatically, “Everybody has to be quiet,” he places his finger over his lips, his eyes darting around the small suite as if there were more people in the room. He leans in closer to her, his breath heavy with the smell of alcohol when he whispers. “You can be anything you want to be.” He leans back enough to look at her as though he has just revealed the nation’s nuclear launch codes. “But shhhh. They don’t gotta’ know you’re actually a Doberman. Not yet.” Content with having given what he believes is a large dosage of life-changing philosophy, he stretches his arms in the air, the joints at his shoulder cracking when he does. He stands once again, this time slower than the last, and takes cautious steps towards the room’s bathroom, whose purpose was deemed useless the moment water had stopped running. Still, Jo walks crookedly towards it while unbuttoning his pants. “See ya in ten minutes Aidykins. I’m gonna shower.” 

Rather than speaking, Aiden silently observes his reaction, finding she’s content sitting there watching him smile, imagining things are normal in the word for a fleeting moment. Before everything went to shit, their current situation would have been more along the lines of relaxing at her apartment after a long shift at the station. No matter what time she texted, he’d be there in a flash, and vice versa. Their current situation wasn’t much different, if you ignored the fact that there were lurking zombies outside and that they’d buried his father’s body not even two hours ago. So if anyone deserved an escape, it was definitely him. “Being anything I want to be is difficult when I have no idea who I am.” The smile on her face from Jo referring to her as ‘Supa-dupa-fly’ has yet to leave, and only grows when he calls her Aidykins. She shrugs the entire notion off, an amused chuckle passing her lips as he reveals what he’s intending to do. A large part of her wants to see how the ordeal will play out, but the other pushes her to reach for one of the pillows on his bed and, with minor difficulty, throw it at his retreating figure as he reaches the bathroom door. For a moment she celebrates the fact that she’d actually managed to hit him, thankful for her brief stint as pitcher on their High School softball team, only to snap out of it as she’s reminded of why she did it in the first place. “Oy, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Keep your pants on, Packer!” An attempt to cover her eyes with her hands is made, though her fingers are splayed so she can peak through the cracks. “There’s no way you’re showering, unless you consider standing in there surrounded by nothing but air a cleansing experience.”

[b99in2gifs]

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joxpacker.

He clutches onto the sheets until he’s confident he won’t tumble down when he lets go. He sits in a slump with his back arched into a bad posture. “What changed my mind,” he repeats, seemingly lost in thought but really only wondering where he had left his flashlight. “You,” he replies. He turns to look at her,  “You’re most persuasive when you’re not trying to be, you know?” He adds with a small smile before pulling at his long sleeve from the back of his head until he manages to remove it and tosses it across the room. “If it’ll make you worry less, I’ll learn how to use one.. Plussss,” he stretches the word obnoxiously, “I’m sure you look badass with a gun, as you tend to do with most things, which is really not fair, because a person of your stature should not look that terrifying and cool nearly all the time.” He pauses but quickly continues and shoots her a smirk, “Not to me, though. The terrifying part, I mean. You’re more of a…” His voice draws on as he thinks. Even while drunk, he knows to consider his words, but the alcohol in his veins can’t help but make him want to provoke Aiden. (The wanting to annoy Aiden was always present, regardless of what he had consumed that day, but the actual process of taunting her, was one best done after drinks.) “Miniature Pinscher, you know those doberman looking things? Notice I’m not saying Chihuaha. A Pinscher, a really cute one. The kind where, if you bite me, it’ll hurt, but I’m probably not going to die.”

As soon as she’s certain he’s steadied himself, Aiden settles back into a more comfortable sitting position. Her hands fidget in her lap, folding and unfolding a few times before she busies herself with studying the split-ends of her hair. It’s been months since she last cut it, though it’s long overdue. Him repeating her didn’t garner much attention, not until he said it was her that convinced him. She looks up at him, bewildered, and it takes a moment for her to collect her thoughts, taking care to mull over the situation in her mind before speaking. Jo deciding to learn how to use a gun was a delicate topic, which she recognized even in her presently intoxicated state. “Are you--are you sure? I’m only willing to teach you if you really want to. I don’t want you to feel pressured into it.” Would it make her worry less? Unequivocally. Was she willing to force him into something he wasn’t comfortable with just to make her feel better about leaving him alone? No, no she was not, as difficult as it may be. Chances were he wouldn’t even remember the conversation in the morning, so she wasn’t going to press too hard. She watches him in silence, taking note of the combined mess they’d made of his floor. Articles of clothing were strewn about, the nearly-empty bottle of Whiskey lay forgotten, even the can of soda she’d just drank. When he continues speaking, her eyes flit back up to meet his. Aiden had never thought of herself as badass, but hearing him refer to her as that, and terrifying, and cool, that was really something. She shrugs it off, her immediate attention falling on him comparing her to such a small, unassuming dog. “Oh, c’mon! Why can’t I be an actual Doberman? You aren’t even that much taller than me! I’m just gonna start wearing heeled boots again, that way you can’t tease me!”

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[warmday]

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@joxpacker​!!

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joxpacker.

Jo sat in a stationary position, his frown unyielding as his chin rested on his interwoven fingers. His previous thoughts persisted and continued to be emphasized by the alcohol in his system, but her words got through. Calm. Rational. Happy. The corner of his lip finally gave in, lifting up into less of a slant. As he had told her on repeated occasions, when it came down to it, all that mattered to him was that she was happy. At many times, that was the basis of his actions. He would support whatever she wanted him to, even if it didn’t make him happy, and he didn’t plan on changing that any time soon. He blinks away the tears that had accumulated, his gaze returning to the gun yet again. Free of the burden he thinks, but he remains quiet as he bites the skin around his nails. As foggy as it’s becoming, he thinks of their afternoon. The map, the funeral, the Irish pub – from all the things they had done it suddenly felt as though Aiden’s arrival had been a week ago, but he wasn’t complaining. His heart ached during their time apart, the uncertainty of it all had made him uneasy… and suddenly he understands. The relief he had felt when her wellbeing was confirmed and the rush it gave him just to be around her knowing he’d even follow her outside the fences should she insist on it – it was all out of love for her. And her worry, that was all out of love for him. And neither of them could change it for the other, that’s just how it worked. A contemplative exhale is released by Jo who hadn’t realized he was holding his breath. “Ok.” He looks back at her, finally pulling his thumb away from his teeth. “But I changed my mind about the gun. I’ll learn how to use it.” He suddenly stands to go reach for it but wobbles back down onto the bed almost instantaneously. “First thing in the morning.”

When the intense look on his face let up by means of a faint smile, her hold on his shoulders slackened, though she did not release him entirely. Aiden begins to shake them, a wide, toothy grin spreading across her face. “Aha! There's that smile...” She trails off, giving his shoulders another shake. “Well, the start of one.” Is said after the pause, quickly correcting herself. It seemed strange for her to be the one trying to bring him back, when so often it had been the opposite. The fact of the matter was that no matter what, he was stuck with her. Where the thought of him holding her back came into play, she wasn’t sure, but it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Everything was easier with him around -- focusing, staying still, using her words rather than her fists, consequently opening up as a result, and even, in some cases, breathing. To say he makes Aiden a better person is one of many undeniable truths in their relationship. Anyone who knew them separately knew they were much better together than apart. Without thinking, she reaches out to wipe the tears from his cheeks with the pad of her thumb. Jo’s continued silence was unnerving. It wasn’t unlike her to try and fill the gaps, but she wasn’t sure just how much of her being her he could handle at the moment, so she decidedly kept her mouth shut. When he does finally speak, she heaves a sigh of relief. “You really tried that, huh?” She teases as he sits back down, ready to offer a hand should he need one to steady himself. “Good call. You can’t even walk, so what made you think I’d have let you hold my gun?” Dragging her teeth across her bottom lip, another brief silence falls between them. It seemed strange that mere hours ago it took convincing to get him to even consider thinking it over, now he was ready to learn. “I though you didn’t want anythin’ to do with weapons? Not that I’m complaining..I’m just surprised. What changed your mind?”

[dcvinakol]

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joxpacker.

A quick sorry is mumbled by Jo but he pushes past it. Under normal circumstances he likely would not have said something so direct, but these weren’t normal circumstances and he couldn’t activate the part of his brain that felt shame. Much like a dog, he cocks his head to the side when she buries hers, awaiting patiently for her to reply. Her answer quiets him for a long, silent minute. Jo’s past experience with alcohol has always involved an intense feeling of euphoria, but as he stares at Aiden, all he can feel is severe disappointment in no one other than himself. His eyes begin to water because suddenly all he can think is that he’s become another weight on Aiden’s shoulders for being an idiot who can’t take care of himself. He looks away from her, eyes glued to her gun. “I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, voice soft when he speaks. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he just man up like his father would tell him and finally learn to fend for himself? Instead, he had managed to become an extra burden on Aiden when he should have been the one helping her, like a team. And that belief was the problem. He and Aiden would never truly be a fair team. It could not be 50/50 when Aiden had to fend for the both of them. “It’s not your job to take care of me, you know.” His gaze is still disconnected from hers, his watery eyes betraying the even, light tone with which he speaks. “It never was.” Having not yet healed from his previous episode, his eyes begin to burn. “I can’t let myself hold you back. Not anymore.” He finally looks at her. It’s not her fault he’s angry with himself. “If I’m gone tomorrow, or the day after. It would not be your fault. It would never have been your fault. You’re free Aiden.” 

Aiden can tell, even without meaning to, that she’s upset him, judging by his silence alone. It hadn’t been her intention to, but like with everyone else, she’d managed to just by opening her mouth. They were having a good time right up until she’d said anything, letting things get too serious. That was the problem in most of her relationships, either she said too much or not enough, there was never a middle ground. Conditioning herself into an indifferent silence at a young age just so happened to make up for that. Just as soon as he apologises the second time, Aiden struggles to sit upright. It all happens so quickly that her lack of balance nearly sends her toppling off the edge of the bed. He hadn’t misunderstood what she meant, but he was wrong. Very, very wrong. After she’s caught herself, she moves into a sitting position in front of him and reaches out to grab his shoulders. “That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said, because of course it is.” Their dynamic was unlike most others, given she was the protector and he was the steady hand. It had always worked for them, they both had very different things to bring to the table. Protecting him would always be her responsibility, whether he liked it or not. Some people weren’t meant to be fighters, he just so happened to be one of them. “Never once in your life have you held me back, Joseph. Not a single time. You make..well, you make me better. Calm, rational, happy.” The tears in his eyes are enough to finally send her over the edge, only she pulls herself together once more for his sake. It would, it would, it would, she repeats in her mind like a mantra. He could tell her a million times that it wouldn’t be her fault and she’d never believe him. “Free of what exactly? Maybe I don’t want to be free.”

[calcmities-blog]

joxpacker.

“For being the smartest person you know, you must not have a lot of smart friends,” he replies almost instantaneously with a grin. Jo certainly could have been seen as intelligent, but he never took the chance to excel in school. There were always other matters that seemed to matter more than studying such as helping his dad with work-related things or dropping everything to go meet Aiden, to a point where school became a second, sometimes third priority. He sported a mix of B minuses throughout high school, mainly because teachers found him to be lovable enough and a combination of in-class work. Homework, however, could have easily led him down a C- path. 

He inches over to the side to allow more space, laughing when she lands on her face but quickly mimics her seriousness. His eyebrows pull together in an upward slant. “Dude,” he interjects after her first question. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, man.” “Dude,” he savors the taste in his mouth while she continues to talk. “They’re all I have left, dude.” “Duuude. Nobody knows what they’re doing.” His hand lands on her shoulder, his eyes blinking repeatedly as he tries to focus on the actual Aiden and not the two other Aidens his mind has formed. “But you haven’t known what you’re doing for most of your life,” he says somewhat brusquely, “Some would say you’re an expert!”  He pauses for a moment before his eyes widen and he yells out, “PLUS! You’ve done it this far. Whatever you’re doing works,” he shakes her shoulder a bit before pulling away, a slow frown overpowering his smile. “Do I make worry you?” 

Aiden purposely ignores his comment on his intelligence, not bothering to indulge him on the matter any further. Where he was, at that point, technically her only friend, Jo really was more intelligent than he gave himself credit for. Dismissing it with a roll of her eyes, they narrow when he begins repeating what she’s just said. Then, they widen at his interjection of her being an expert of not knowing what she’s doing. Had it been anyone else making a comment like that, even as a joke, she wouldn’t have reacted so calmly. It wasn’t an incorrect assessment by any means, just one she wasn’t particularly comfortable with other people acknowledging. “That was rude, but I’m willing to overlook it because YOU’RE RIGHT!” In spite of losing her parents and two of her siblings to the end of the world, somehow she’d managed to keep her remaining family very much alive. That was on her and her alone, whether by luck or her natural inclination to survive no matter the cost.

The question tacked on at the end catches her off guard, resulting in her burying her face in the mattress beneath them. The intoxicated, irrational part closes her eyes and puts off responding. After a few moments of silence, Aiden lifts her head and turns it to face him. Her eyes open halfway and there was something sad in the way her lips tried to curve into a smile. “I’d be lying if I said no, Joey. I worry about you all the time.. pretty much constantly.” If anything happened to him, well, there was no telling how she’d react. A very small, selfish part of her liked that he rarely left camp, that he stuck to his group and minded his own business. Where that drove her insane before, it was now a blessing is disguise; at least until he finally caves and lets her teach him survival skills and basic weaponry. “I can't--I won't let anything happen to you.”

[spencerscaffeine]