A very strange dream I had after falling asleeping crying:
Walking up to my new cottage, my niece, sister in law and there along with two kids and an old friends mom. I fly into a rage they stalked me and broke into my house to sleep in my bed and wait for me. "We miss you! We love you!" I leave them there and jump into my car. I try to call my brother and I can't yell at him. I am wheezing and gasping for breath. I do not have my inhaler. Even though I am dreaming, I feel the pain of my lungs closing down.
Suddenly I am speeding down PCH, the ocean waves huge, the most amazing view I've ever seen. I take a turn and end up driving over a bridge over the 405, except it looks like Suicide bridge in Pasadena. The Santa Monica mountains are green and lush. There is traffic.
Instead of heading back to the Valley like how real life would be, I find myself speeding recklessly down PCH, again, now the waves look warm as the sun reflects off them. They are still dangerous as they crash upon the cliffs. Azure blue. A hundred feet high. I ponder stepping out and throwing myself into the warm salt water. A skateboard rolls across the highway and some idiot kid with wearing only board shorts jumps onto the highway to retrieve it. I almost crash the car and then suddenly swerve up to a modern cubist looking apartment. My tires squeal and skid forwad.
I run up the stairs. I no longer have asthma. I burst through the front door and the apartment is furnished. The living room is impossibly small for what they're asking. A woman who's face I cannot see is sitting on a stool by the kitchen counter and her hair hangs low. There are two small little girls chasing my cats. I do not live here, yet somehow they are here. A bald short jewish man with some scruff on his face swoops up the girls. The children look so happy. The woman does not. They all leave together, except my cats are now outside sitting in the sun. I worry they will run away or get eaten by coyotes..
I have three vials of golden liquid with lancet tops. I injected two of them. They are magnesium and something that starts with a "ch." I o not feel anything. "When do I feel alive?" I ask a man now standing in front of me. He grins, which I find very suspicious and creepy. "Hmmm." I roll the little vials between my fingers and they make a strangely clinking sound againt my soft palms. Like the last keys on a piano being softly played. I want to feel alive.
I wander through the apartment and find my friend Blaise there. His hair is long and it looks like he lives in this room. "Dude, where's Erin and River? Is this your studio? Did you take the vials?" He laughs like a maniac and paints in a frenzy. The painting is a scribble of pink, orange, brown and yellow. There are orange gauze curtains on the window and the room over looks PCH, cars whizzing by. He smokes cigarettes and reaches up to this top shelf to retrieve crystals. One is a quartz column that looks like it's been dipped in soft blue glittery powder. The one has streaks of indigo. He never answers my questions and it never makes sense why he is there. I go to leave since I feel I should be heading back. The sun is setting.
I go to pick up my cat Gypsy, a skittish Calico rescue, and she fights me. Screaming and howling, kicking. Although one time in real life she shredded the back of my hand open that bled profusely and didn't heal for weeks, this time her claws do not draw blood. I feel no pain. She bites my left index finger and holds onto it. Growling. It doesn't hurt but I drop her. She doesn't run away, she starts purring. I find this extremely odd. Also, I don't seem to care about my other cat, Sancho. My familiar. His coat is warm and he's sleeping his big body on top of the staircase railing. I can smell the salt and the air is still warm, although the sky is pink now and it should be getting cooler.
I go back inside. There is another woman who looks eerily familiar to the previous woman, but she is not. She grins toothy like the strange man and they circle around me, the small of my back pressed against the counter. "Do you want to feel alive?" I say yes and they hand me three more vials; two are golden and one is light blue. I go to inject myself and they scream NO! Startled I almost drop them. They bend me over and flip my skirt up, and inject them into my ass muscles. The man drops his hand down my inner thigh and my heart races. The woman injects the blue liquid into my breast, by my heart. "I can't wait to fuck you." she purrs and I decide this would be the best time to leave. Whatever these drugs are, I do not feel alive, I am deeply sadly at my upside down life. I go to say goodbye to Blaise and he's still painting, crazy hair and all. I feel sad wondering about Erin and the baby. Without a word he hands me the two crystals to keep and looks deep into my eye. I don't even recognize him anymore.
I wake up. Sad. I need my inhaler.
discoholicmusic
dailybridgerton
kaledo-art
titsay
