&&. ┋ DADDY'S PRINCESS ❞

☆. " —— She said to me, "FORGET what you THOUGHT; 'cause G O O D girls are B A D girls that HAVEN'T been c a u g h t. So JUST turn around and FORGET what you saw; 'cause G O O D girls are BAD girls that H A V E N ' T been caught." NICOLETTE ELISE VOLKOV SEVENTEEN // ESFJ // "INNOCENT"

[callcolette-blog]

         There was a certain happiness that found her, a glow with Jaxson back in her life to make it the beautiful mess she knew and loved. And surely that shone through to anyone around her except those who didn’t want to believe it -- like her father. Still, it wasn’t exactly as she’d hoped or liked, but with him at least here, her grin was that much brighter. Especially as she nestled into her brother’s side and looked up at his chin with the blanket wrapped around her. “Okay, but don’t tell me you don’t believe he’s the killer. Because I am telling you. He has to be. I will not stand for such slander,” the girl giggled as she made him watch an American show with her: How to Get Away with Murder. “When I’m right, you owe me five pounds. And you better be ready to cough it up, brother.”

[jiinsuns]

              “Just hot, huh?” He grinned almost mischievously, licking his lips as he took one more look around the empty house. It was just them there, alone and she was within his reach that he could totally just grab her by her waist and neck and pull her towards him, he could easily pin her to the door by how close they were and kiss her until their mouths were bruised. His pride and wounds kept getting in the way of even allowing himself to kiss Colette, it feels almost wrong to want it ever since his night with Monica. Which he really, really needs to put behind him. He needs to bury her in the back of his mind and forget that whole night, he had been intoxicated and so was she, he had been pissed off and wasn’t thinking right when he fell into bed with her. Thankfully not his room, he would’ve burned his entire bed the day after and that wasn’t an exaggeration.  It was ridiculous how he can allow himself to get lost in strange girls’ bodies, whether it was fucking them and ditching them or getting high with them until he felt nothing but a deep buzz take a hold of him. He’s been a terrible mess since they broke up, since he got into a fight with his dad about fuck knows what, since Monica, since all this shit his head goes blurry thinking about everything in that span of time. Popping happy pills can only do so much, God a week before school started he had been sitting in his car in some empty parking lot at three in the bloody morning, eyes red and nose burning from the MDMA lines he took fifteen minutes prior and before he knew it he had turned on his engine and swerved out of his parking place and drove laps as fast as he could throughout the lot. If he goes back now he knows the ground will be filled with marks from his tires. 

The point is that without Colette he’s bound to lose control just like he did before he spent almost a night in the damn jail cell. Their breaks in between have never taken such a toll on him until now. It wasn’t her fault in the slightest of course, that was all Jaxson. Constantly screwing up and doing the opposite of what he’s supposed to. It’s fucked up how shitty he feels without her. Somewhere in those fancy psychological magazines the counselor at Roundview likes to keep can probably define their relationships as not healthy. This isn’t healthy. Chasing the rush of being with her, turning over all his rules just because he wants to see her, to be alone with her and keep her to himself for at least a night. He hates hurting her, he really really does but sometimes he doesn’t know how to stop it. He doesn’t hurt her purposely, sometimes it just happens unconsciously and he doesn’t want this moment to be one of them. What is he doing here? What can he possibly offer her? He wants to give Colette everything there is to give but he doesn’t know if this is a good start. She mentioned earlier all the boys she brought home to meet the Chief and how her father adored every single one of them. That’s what she deserves, he thinks. But Jaxson is one selfish bastard. 

“Don’t I know it, love.” He smiled softly, eyes twinkling because he knows that. He knows that Colette only dresses up for him, whether it’s something as soft as this or in lingerie he usually tends to buy her. He didn’t reply to that thought, instead he just hummed in approval and followed her up to her room which was still the same. He picked up a book from her desk, coursework he can’t be bothered with. He set it back down, swallowing as his eyes settled back on Colette when she spoke his name. She was bringing a strawberry to her lovely heart-shaped mouth and for a second he wondered if he kissed her she’d taste just as sweet as the fruit she took a bite of, if not sweeter. Jaxson sighed a little, should he sit next to her? He couldn’t even think up an answer before he strode over easily, sitting down softly beside her on her bed. “I don’t either.” He answered truthfully, turning his gaze towards her. There was no point in stalling and looking around her room when he knows this place like the back of his hand. This is awkward. He hates it. They aren’t awkward, they’ve never been awkward to this extent where they don’t even know what to say to each other. Their last breakups weren’t like this. God, he’s so stupid, he did this. He nodded along to her words before pausing. 

“Among other things? Care to elaborate?” he teased lightly, trying to make a joke and ease how weird it felt being here. His usual tone wasn’t behind it, the charming yet joking voice of his that wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. However, right now he sounds…normal, if not then with a small tablespoon of curiosity.  His blue eyes reached her dark ones before he tore his gaze away a bit, pushing a hand through his hair as he thought about what to say. “What do you want to talk about?” He finally spoke, voice coming out slow as he decided to look at her again. “How absolutely fucking wonderful you look right now? Eating strawberries and dressed in your little set? How I can literally just kiss you? I could just do it. And I want to, fuck I really want to.” The words came out in a ramble, everything he wanted to say spilling out. Code red. There’s no going back from that, it’s out in the air and because it was he reached out gently to stroke her cheek with his thumb, trailing it down to run it over her lips, dragging her bottom one down slowly. “I want to so bad.”

[callcolette-blog]

          “Uhuh,” the small word passed her lips as she watched his gaze travel instead of looking at her again, instead of taking her and pinning her to the door like he used to do when he had the chance… It made her lips purse, but Nicolette wasn’t going to give up. She missed him too much and was decided that she would take him in whatever way she’d get him. If sleeping around was what he wanted, then why couldn’t he do it with her? Couldn’t they be like Adriana and Tris? Well, there was one major detail the two of them were missing – Nicolette wasn’t scarred like Adri was. She was just in love with Jaxson and hated being apart. That was completely different. Her breaks from him weren’t all they cracked up to be, but she did take them out in other ways. Where he went heavier with the drugs this last time, she went more into her hobbies. Her dancing for one, she’d throw herself into it, try new things ending up bruised or aching from dancing too long… Staying with Dimitri and begging him to help her do something suitably risky. Like driving fast through the country side or traveling to darker towns and hanging out in clubs… She had to be distracted and God knows that wasn’t easy, especially not on the dates she had to go to. When they were at bowling alleys or along the pier, all ‘Colette would find herself thinking about was what Jaxson would do if it were him with her and the guys who tried too hard to be near her – he was an addiction, but the best kind. Despite the toxicity, they made each other better. They just did.

The thing was, that even still, Nicolette had a steady grip on reality and what was best for her whereas Jax went off the deep end without her. He was more addicted to her, to what she provided than it seemed she was. But in a world where no one cared for him like she did, and his parents were never there like she was, why wouldn’t he attach to her? The question, though, was whether he would attach to another girl for the same reasons or if there was something about Nicolette in particular that had him hanging on. It seemed, though, that he wouldn’t let himself, so Nicolette held on even tighter and breathed with him, letting him know that she would always be there for him and with him, no matter if they were apart or not. She loved him for all that he was, and could only hope that he did the same for her, but when she read him like a book she knew that he did. To put it simply, Jaxson was everything to her. Despite her not relying completely on him and still being a good deal of independent, she always felt like she could be happier when he was around, that with him loving her, nothing could ever be better. Her life was good without him, but it was great with. And isn’t that how love was supposed to be? She certainly thought so and she couldn’t keep herself from loving him. Not that she’s tried to stop it, she never has, but even if she did, she knew it would be futile. She was his and that was it.

Rosy lips spread into a soft smile at the epithet, of course it was a common one where they lived, but still. He knew that she was his and was happy about it. That was good. After all, she only wore fancy things for him. He paid for her lingerie, she often bought it with him there so he could see it, and make sure it was something he lied, but every now and then she’d buy some herself… with cash so her father couldn’t trace it, and she’d take pictures of herself in whatever it was to send to Jaxson. It made her feel naughty and that was a plus, especially when he liked what she did for him. Nicolette loved to give. Which was why as she bit into that strawberry, she sought out his gaze and held it, knowing full well that it was a point of seduction. That it drew him to her lips and made him wonder what else they could do, but he knew… Oh he knew what she could do with her lips as he had taught her long ago and what he didn’t teach her, she discovered on her own in effort to please him. His sigh in response, though, made her worry for a moment that this wasn’t going to work and yet he joined her upon her bed, sitting next to her and responding to what she had to say. Something must have happened on his end to upset him, the only thing he could guess though was something with his father, which was only part of the truth, but it was the only part she had as she watched him quietly, taking him in from this close. God, he was perfect.

As he teased, Nicolette was plenty ready to make sure to elaborate in a way that didn’t exactly need talking, but she did note how his voice sounded, so she refrained – not knowing whether she could get him to talk about it or not, or whether he wanted to or even wanted her to kiss him and take him into their own little world they both belong in. And then he pulled away, a hand rubbing against his neck in the tension before he gave in enough to ask her what she wanted to say only for him to speak as her lips parted about how he thought she looked which was something she’d been hoping to hear and just how much he wanted to kiss her. What was stopping him? She certainly wasn’t. In fact everything about how she acted pointed to how much she wanted him to, and she’d ask, but she knew Jaxson and if he wanted to tell her, he’d tell her, and if she pushed he’d go away, so she wouldn’t. And instead she focused on how much he wanted to press his lips to hers. Because that was the best part of all of this. “Do it,” the brunette murmured as he drew her bottom lip down with his thumb and her chest heaved slowly beneath the satin of her tank top. “Please,” ‘Colette murmured as she slowly moved upon his lap, legs on either side of his waist, straddling. “Kiss me.”

[jiinsuns]

              The last time Jaxson was in the Volkov household he was quickly escaping from her bedroom window, with only his jeans and shoes on and his shirt thrown over his shoulder, skidding down her rooftop before scrambling back up to quickly kiss Colette at the window with a promise that he’ll see her later. Her dad had come home earlier than expected that day and Jaxson was already used to those unplanned moments, familiar with the sound of the Chief’s car and how long it takes him to go up the steps of his home and his voice booming through the house, announcing his arrival. He was looking over the edge of the porch, around the corner is where Jaxson lands and counts to five before the front door closes and throws his shirt over his head before jogging over to his car to speed away. He has to admit, he misses the thrill of those getaways, almost getting caught and leaving no trace that he was ever there fooling the one man that absolutely despises him. It’s exhilarating. Being with Colette is one big amazing and equally fucked up adventure. She’s absolutely beautiful, beautiful and smart and funny and crazy. The whole bloody package. It’s a bit hard to believe that someone like her could be crazy, bit wild but Jaxson learned everything this is to know about her. Her mannerisms, her body, her likes and dislikes, her voice, her eyes, the way she looks like when she takes MDMA with him, how her lips feel, her dreams. He’s filled with all this information about her that if he ever truly lost her he doesn’t know what he’d do with it all. 

When Jaxson first saw her, he was sitting in a cold, damp cell waiting for his dad to arrive with his bail money. He had been fifteen at the time, arrested for something he should have gone to juvie for but the perks about having a rich dad who feels guilty about being the cause of what Jaxson did (or maybe feeling guilty about even having Jaxson as son), he managed to pay bail and slip in a little something extra until his “crime” was wiped from his record. But little before his dad arrived, he had been chit-chatting with some of the officers sitting at their desks, making light-hearted sarcastic talk even if they weren’t paying attention to him, telling him to quiet down every once in awhile. It was then when the department’s door opened and Jaxson had stopped talking Colette walked in. Dressed in her ballerina attire, looking like an absolute angel, bright and gorgeous with pretty pink lips, lovely curls and big bambi eyes. He wanted her just after five seconds of looking at her, he knew she was going to be someone special to him the moment they looked at each other for the first time. It was also five seconds later that he learned she was the Chief’s (the man who arrested him) daughter. It took him another five seconds to make up his mind that he didn’t care. The moment he got released from jail he began his purse for Nicolette Volkov. 

And what a ride it has been. All roads lead somewhere and their ends right back here. With the front door opening and Colette standing there, three years later looking as beautiful as always. He saw her face first, his gaze holding hers before they traveled down to her lips, her neck, the necklace hanging around it resting against her chest and – it was now that he noticed what he was wearing. Her silk pajamas, the very small ones (well, small in his opinion), exposing skin and showing her legs that could go on for miles – which he always found amusing and endearing considering how short she actually is – and basically he feels fucked. “Hey.” He breathed out, glancing back up at her without shame after checking her out. He’s never not shameless nor very subtle when he’s with Colette, at least not all the time. Licking his lips, he rubbed the back of his neck, lightly saying, “Guessing you took that shower without me, huh?” He gave her a dazzling smile, finally stepping into her home, his own hand coming up to close the door behind them as he gently grabbed her by the arm to move her aside for a bit before dropping it. How much can he touch her? Should he? They’ve always been extremely touchy. Whether it was Jaxson scooping an arm around her waist from behind or Colette climbing into his lap. Hands constantly touching or intertwined, drawing shapes on each other’s skin. There isn’t a time when they aren’t at least touching in the softest and smallest of ways. 

“Hot little piece you’re wearing, am I too early?” He teased, trying to make the air a little less…tense? Awkward? “Do you have a second Romeo hiding about? Or did I get the wrong time and you were expecting someone else?” A playful smile was lingering on his lips as he glanced around before looking at her. She looks beautiful and he wants to tell her that but he doesn’t know how without his voice giving away that he hasn’t stopped thinking about her.  He wishes he could, he wishes he could push her against the door right now and latch his mouth to her skin, whispering praises into the small freckles, into her neck. Pull her up into his arms and tell her how much he adores her. He could do all that, there’s nothing stopping him besides himself. “So…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair, unsure what else to say.

[callcolette-blog]

         She’d always scramble, scramble to get up when her legs still feel like jelly, then scramble to pull on at least the silk robe she kept by her bed for situations just like that, but even more so to slide on whatever she’d been wearing before they were naked in her bed. Her cheeks were always flush, her eyes bright and her chest heaving, but she’d open her window and let the cool air catch her just so she could sober up but also so she had a reason to why she was red in the face if he came to see her and he usually did. If not to say hi, but to ask what was for dinner and if she ate, and she’d stand carefully leaning against the doorway so she wouldn’t fall over as she smiled up at him innocently. He never thought to look more thoroughly at her eyes for the dilation, never thought to question too much. And if she was sweaty then she could tell him she was doing one of her videos in her room for cardio. And he believed her. So there was the thrill of almost getting caught and the thrill of him believing her. Nicolette almost felt guilty sometimes, but it was Jaxson, and that pretty much took it all away. The hardest was when she went back to bed and missed having him there. But the girl learned a lot and knew she knew he’d only be a call away. Her favorites were when he’d come after the Chief fell asleep and sleep over, then jet out before he came to see if she was getting up. Sleeping in his arms was one of the best things ever, and all of that belonged to him. Naturally. Jaxson was everything.

It’d been a Saturday, and he’d forgotten his lunch -- that he’d specifically asked for, and though he could buy food and eat the lunch for dinner or save it for the next day, Nicolette wanted to go see him, so she did, going to her father’s precinct via a lot of walking. The girl loved to just wander around. It was only a few blocks, so that wasn’t too bad, but at the same time she was fit and didn’t even break a sweat, her curls down until she needed to pull her hair back later -- they framed her face and she just wandered in, no one really questioning her presence even as she saw someone actually in one of the holding cells, and rather than bother her father who was in a meeting at that point, the brunette wandered over to the cell. ‘I know you,’ she said, ‘you’re in my chem class or you’re supposed to be, you’re never there but you always sit in the back.’ She remembered smiling as she talked to him and tilted her head. She always sat up front so he hadn’t had the chance to know her, especially in a class where students didn’t do presentations, but she knew him. And she knew his reputation, but she also knew he was attractive, and that made her flush as she finally talked to him, innocent but kind and playful. Cute. Bambi-eyed. A lot more naive in how she approached him than now. How he saw her, she saw that sly smile, and she was interested. Definitely interested. It wasn’t hard for him to convince her to date him. She just fell right in and it he did the same. And it was amazing.

His eyes met hers at first as she opened the door and they locked in that moment, but it had to break or they’d stand there right in that doorway just like that and end up having sex in the foyer with the door open. Not the best idea. As it was his blue eyes brought a fire in her while they traveled to her glossed lips, then her neck and to the necklace at her breasts, then down her entire body as she breathed slowly. The way he looked at her... She wanted him. Every time he looked at her just like that, but she was good. She was good and she would be until she flipped the switch. “No, actually... I was just.. hot...” She murmured in a soft voice, as she played by biting down upon her lip and letting it sit for a moment until it slid out to purse once again. There was a hitch of breath though as he touched her, the girl drawing back and letting him in while he shut the door and she stepped forward, pressing him almost against it a she locked it, her body almost aligning to his, but she wanted to tease him just enough for him to take her if she could, so it was only just close enough. She was just happy to have him near her, but she wanted more and she would have it tonight if she had her way with it. And Nicolette seemed to always get that. At least she wasn’t malicious.

“You know there’s only one Romeo,” 'Colette murmured in earnest, “so I think you know this is for you,” but she didn’t talk more about it other than that as she drew him further into her house, but she didn’t push just watched him for a moment as he looked at her just until he drew away with his hand on his neck once more. Taking it in hers, she moved and walked ahead of him, pulling him gently toward the stairs and up to her room where she shut the door once he was inside and locked the door, looking at him before she moved and sat upon the bed. “Jax,” she didn’t know what to say, nor did she really know what she was doing, but she took a strawberry and slowly ate it as she looked up at him, eyes flickering before she spoke again. “I don’t like this,” she breathed, going for her usually honest. “How awkward this is. Please talk to me? We were so good at talking... among other things,” Nicolette breathed. “Please.”

[jiinsuns]

           “Considering you’re not actually seeing anyone at the moment I can only assume you broke the hearts of those several.” He mused, ignoring the twinge of jealousy he felt settle in his chest. He knows her father will never like him, he’s just another good-for-nothing-self-righteous-privileged-reckless-prick who could possibly end up in an early grave and does not deserve his daughter because he will not let Jaxson drag her six feet under with him. It was a cliche but it was theirs and it irritates him that her father is inconsiderate to her feelings and what she wants. For fuck’s sake they are nearly out of college and going to Uni (maybe going to Uni in his case) and he still treats his daughter like a child. Now, he knows Colette loves her dad, that is her family but he also knows she loves him a little more, he can see it in her eyes sometimes, the way she looks at him as if she’d choose him every time. It’s probably in his own stormy blue eyes too, he’d choose her every goddamn time. 

He grinned lazily, “Yes, the Keira Knightley debacle.” It was an ongoing thing, Jaxson’s celebrity crush is none other than Keira Knightley a.k.a Elizabeth Swann in the Pirates of the Caribbean films and it was also true that Colette knows this, his silly crush he loves teasing her with. It’s almost an inside joke between them if anything. “C’mon, babe, you know you’re never second, not even to her.” He said carelessly, almost out of habit that he didn’t realize it until five seconds later. It was easy the way the words rolled out of his mouth, the truth that Colette is always his number one but right now he doesn’t know if he should remind her of that even though he already did. So instead he just chuckled, relieving the little bit of tension he feels. 

This is the part where he’s supposed to kiss her against the lockers until someone snapped at them to head to class or they unwillingly and breathlessly pulled apart with a silent promise that they’ll continue their shameless PDA later. Only it wasn’t going to happen today or tomorrow or the next week due to Jaxson being a fuckwit and not knowing how to deal with the emotions bubbling up inside him. He wants to kiss her, he really does but it’s for the best if he doesn’t because once he does there’ll be something there again (not that it was ever gone but it’ll awaken once more) and it’ll be too hard to ignore from there on out. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to get back together with Colette, he can literally feel how heavy the metaphorical weights he’s wearing hold him back from attempting to hop back into their paused relationship.  

He was about to open his mouth to say something when he was stopped by her soft lips on the skin where his neck and jawline meet. He felt like closing his eyes for a moment to take it in, that was the first kiss they’ve shared for…ages now. He feels deprived from them. Be it his own fault he couldn’t help but be a bit dumbfounded and how easily she pulled at his heartstrings with the simplest of affection and for a brief second considered grabbing her by her arm while his other found found his way behind her neck to pull her in for a proper kiss in the middle of the hallway. “Uh, yeah, I’ll be there.” He found his voice again, clearing his throat as he nodded and watched her walk to her classroom, “See ya, Colette.” He stayed there until she walked completely inside her classroom and the bell rang, informing him that he will be late to his own class but he couldn’t care less. bringing his fingers to graze over gently where the linger of her lips remained he managed to turn around and begin walking swiftly to mathematics. Tonight he’s going over to her home, they’re going to hang out and talk and maybe he’ll bring a little MDMA to boost up their energy. Tonight he was going to be with her alone. Tonight he was going to see Colette. 

He is not going to see Colette tonight. Well, he is, of course he is but now he thinks it’s a bad idea to show up when her parents aren’t home and they’re on break. He’s incredibly perplexed about them, he doesn’t want anything to happen between them at the moment but he also does. Jaxson has been in her neighborhood for half an hour now, arriving thirty minutes early to park a block from her house so her dad wouldn’t see his car on their street in case he came home. He knew how to get out her house fast and without being traced, years of practice escaping from her window or discreetly from the front or back door without getting caught by Chief Volkov. It should be one for the books, Guinness World Records. He checked his watch again, he should get moving if he wants to be there at the time Colette told him to be yet his fingers continued to drum along the steering wheel, the key was still in the ignition but after finally deciding on what he wants to do, he turned the key. Pulling it out of the ignition and opened his door to get out before he stayed put.

Slamming the door of his ‘69 red Mustang shut after locking it, he looked both ways before crossing the street, hopping onto the sidewalk and turned yet another road and then another one and before he knew it he was standing right in front of her house. He licked his lips, walking up to the door and knock three times before stepping back, pushing his hair back and took his aviators off. He was excited and a little nervous, he can’t exactly pin point the last time him and Colette were alone without their crowd of friends or the student body. Something always happens when they’re together and fuck what was he thinking? He couldn’t possibly expect them to just sit and talk without some sort of motive or just hang out as friends. Maybe get a little high, he does have a little bag of MDMA in the pocket inside his jacket just in case. Sometimes he felt almost guilty doing drugs in her room, it was such a different atmosphere than his own room, less to none chances of getting caught since his father couldn’t care less what Jaxson was up to besides school. Monica has been avoiding him but so has he so she’s never home, either with her father or out with her friends which he’s thankful for, he can hardly spend time there besides going for a change of clothes and a shower. He prefers staying out of there as much as he can but when he’s with Colette his room was their hideaway more than hers is. 

He looked down at his clothes, he did go home and shower after school and changed into his black Led Zeppelin tee, black jeans ripped at the knees and rolled up above his cleaner looking Vans plus his trusty jean jacket, he doesn’t even know why he didn’t just go chill for a bit with Tris or hang out at the record store to push through stacks of vinyls to waste time before coming here. Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway, it’s not like he’s trying to…he doesn’t know what he’s unconsciously trying. He just has to repeat to himself that they are on break, that they probably won’t jump straight back into a relationship after being alone for a couple hours after ages. Then again, they have done it before so he has to cross that out. He drummed his fingers against his leg, he’s only been out here for a couple of seconds but he feels like it’s been ten minutes since he’s knocked and he couldn’t help but knock again, wanting to be inside instead of out here. 

Jaxson realizes that maybe he should have brought something, some food along the way in case she hasn’t eaten yet, maybe bring her one of her favorite pastries from the bakery. Now he’s overthinking it and that’s never a good sign but he literally misses her. He missed Colette underneath his arm when they walk the school hallways, he misses her in his car while they eat some fast food they got along the way, he misses her tremble under his touch, he misses her in his bed. He’s so fucked. He’s head over heels for her and yet he’s punishing himself by not allowing for them to get back together. He tells himself that it’s because there’s no point, they’ll break up again and be right back here, a never ending cycle. A never ending cycle that can only really end one of both ways and those two options make him feel suffocated. He shook his head, no, he’s just here to hang out with Colette. All this over thinking isn’t necessary, shit, he’s going to need a cigarette and maybe some shots after this if he’s going to make it through the night. 

[callcolette-blog]

         “Maybe, but...” But she didn’t care. But they’re not him, but but but... She could have finished that sentence several ways, but instead she left it open-ended, trailing off between her full lips while she walked behind him and she felt home. Nicolette was one of those girls who realized her house wasn’t her home, instead it was a person. It was Jaxson because she never felt more comfortable more herself, more... everything than she did with him. Dimitri had helped her, especially as someone to vent to about the dates she went on, but what she really wanted was to be back in Jax’s arms. Between the dates and the familial bonding, Nicolette did everything in her power to come up with a way for her not to have to continue seeing those boys, and she relied on it. School. It was her last year before Uni, she needed to focus on her studies, and that was an explanation her father could take just as long as he didn’t learn of her and Jaxson back at it again. So being there under his arm right in that moment may not have been the best idea, but she was weak and she wanted to be there so badly. Why couldn’t he just understand? Her world was Jaxson, but that didn’t mean she forgot anything and everything else. No the only reason he forgot everything else was because she had to try so damn hard just to see him. Her grades didn’t suffer, she still did her practices, but a lot of her time was spent with Jax whenever she could allow it. If her father didn’t press so hard for her not to have time, she wouldn’t push things aside. But she had to, so she did. Because she’d choose Jaxson. Every single time. She was addicted.

His grin was heart-wrenching. Heart-stopping. Heart... And she couldn’t help the way her heart stuttered inside her chest to see it and have this moment just like they usually do just like when they’re together. Keira Knightley being something he playfully lorded over her. Just as he lorded over her, her love of One Direction. But what really got her was what he said. He may have been and still was being hesitant about being around her, but being around her still came so naturally to him that there he was calling her babe. There he was telling her that she was his number one. That no one would ever contend. Not in any way. And the smile that quirked her lips twitched it, showing her little dimple just barely and flickering like the flame that was them. It was some hope. And she wasn’t going to let that go even if he pulled away. Which he did. Even if he was going to leave awkwardly which he was, but she had to stop him. she just did.

Brown eyes fluttered shut as her lips pressed upon his skin, the stubble of him beneath and rubbing her cheek ever so slightly at the angle she had. ‘Colette didn’t want to pull back, she wanted to take the moment and have one of her random, loving dominant episodes where she took hold of the moment only to turn it over willingly when Jaxson wanted to take it from her, but she didn’t. He didn’t want it and she wouldn’t force him. It wouldn’t stop er from doing a few things later to have her way, but right then she was being good. Right then, she did pull back and lower upon her feet better, letting the kiss linger as she let her lips purse and part in just the right way, eyes glimmering. Maybe he won’t kiss her now, maybe he won’t tell her what she wants to hear, but she had a power over him and she knew it. And right then she was feeling selfish, right then she wanted to use it, whatever her magic was and pull him back in to the tidal wave of their love -- what a perfect thing to drown in.

“Au revoir...” The brunette spoke softly as she rather unwillingly parted from him and walked in her skirt and heels toward the door of the classroom and turned to wave goodbye to him. It was almost like she was waiting for him to say something, pull her back in. Have her running in her shoes up to leap in his arms, but it was bittersweet -- she knew it wasn’t coming and yet she still hoped. And even as she went through that class and the next and next until her day was over, Nicolette found herself hoping he’d come out from behind a corner and she’d be drawn into an empty hall just for him to kiss his lips, just for him to kiss her skin and breathe to her how much she’d been missed, but she was let down every time. At least her last class of the day was with her brother so she could genuinely smile and have some of her snark back. Either way, it was a long day. She loved him.

It was about thirty minutes ‘til five and her fingers were lost in the loose curls of her hair as she tried to decide what she wanted to wear. All she had on at that moment was a pair of lacy underwear and she was stuck between a lingerie nightgown that covered everything and yet would be enticing or just the simpleness of a silk camisole and shorts. Deciding on the latter because she always felt most comfortable in simplicity, more herself, Nicolette slid the camisole over her skin braless then pulled on the short shorts over her panties and looked in the mirror. Her hair was down and she decided against it. What she wanted was to seduce him, what she wanted was at the very least to convince him they could be friends with benefits because she missed him and his touch far too much to just sit there in talking for hours. They could do it, right? It worked well for Tristan and Adri. Adri seemed happy and Tris got what he wanted, win win right? Pulling her hair up into a messy, loose bun with tendrils hanging down, Nicolette let her long legs, despite her being so short, speak for themselves and it was hopefully perfect while she pulled back from it, the mirror and went to sit back at her desk, one leg folded under her while the other was bent normally and had its foot on the floor, her lip bit and pencil in hand as she went back to homework. It was finished, really. She was just double-checking, but still. She needed distraction. Twenty minutes ‘til he should be there. 

And what an arduous twenty minutes they were. The girl had gotten up several times to pace the room, checking her nightstand drawer for their favorite condoms she’d hidden beneath a few things and for oils and lube should they be needed. Those she were able to mask by packing away in a box marked lady products with other things to keep the idea there so he wouldn’t still go looking -- her father that is. Everything was in order, everything was perfect. She’d had a snack of strawberries she was still eating as she waited, but every minute closer to five it got, she got antsier so she put those on the night stand while the other things were tucked away just in easier reach. She couldn’t push him. Five minutes ‘til five pm.

Applying a clear gloss to her lips in strawberry flavor, the brunette finally made her way down the stairs after stepping out of her room and down the hall. It was quick and her heart was racing, but he would be there to open the door when he rang the bell, and she was quite happy about that as she breathed slowly and waited. Just a few more minutes and he’d be there, just a few more minutes and she’d see him. And she could start her work. Just a few more minutes.

Giving him a few seconds when she heard the knock, Nicolette fluffed her hair and let out a deep breath, cheeks flush and opened the door after making sure it was him so she didn’t answer it like that for a stranger. They didn’t deserve her at all let alone looking like that, mouth dry and lips pursed when she saw him in his favorite shirt and ripped jeans, that jacket on his shoulders. A look that screamed his name and made her melt as she stood transfixed before him. “Jaxson.” Come in.

[daniellecampbells-archive-blog]

[jiinsuns]

          If Jaxson was as brave as he made himself out to be then maybe they wouldn’t be broken up right now. Maybe, just maybe, they’d be together and for reals this time. This morning he wouldn’t have woken up in a stranger’s bed with a migraine and a dry throat only to realize it was the first day of school and he wasn’t even home. If Jaxson was a decent person he would have gathered his belongings and escaped expertly through the blonde’s window instead of laying in bed until she woke up for a morning round of lazy sex before dipping out with broken promises that he’d call her later. He never called any girl he’s ever slept with within his and Colette’s breaks, sure he’s dated a few but he never jumped into anything near what he and the girl under his arm right now have. This is special, they are not. Yet he feels guilty for even being in her presence because the petite brunette does not deserve half the shit Jaxson does and it pains him how he knows she’ll always forgive him that he doesn’t want to test the limitations of that even though sometimes he feels whatever he does next is on the brink of her never speaking to him again. 

It’s the reason why he hasn’t gathered up the courage to ask her to be with him again because this past break he messed up real good. Sleeping with your father’s fiance probably doesn’t make someone the best person of the year, especially not when they live in the same house together. His father had been gone for three business days in New York and Monica, the fiance, had stayed behind in their home. She was young, at least fifteen years younger than his dad which both irritated Jaxson because in his head she was no more than a gold-digger despite how many times she claims to be love his dad. He finds it ironic she still says that after they slept together one of those nights his father was gone.

Colette finding out is something he doesn’t want to happen because sleeping with girls he doesn’t know the name of is different from sleeping with someone who lives in your house and is engaged to your father. Fuck, what Jaxson wouldn’t do to change everything about that night, if he hadn’t gone home and instead crashed at someone else’s couch then maybe just maybe he wouldn’t feel slightly afraid of Colette leaving him for good. It’s insane how the small, doe eyed girl under his arm actually terrifies, who was he kidding “slightly”, Colette terrifies him because she has the power to break his heart, to abandon him, to take everything from him and he would let her. He’d swallow razor blades to see her smile. Anything for her and it’s all fucked up.

They don’t have a healthy relationship, they’re far from it but it’s theirs and that’s all he cares about. She’s one of the few people Jaxson trusts with his life, someone who knows him inside and out. His dreams, the places he wants to visit, his music, his fears, the troubles he has with his dad. He remembers one night, when she was able to stay the night at his place and they were on his bed, wide awake at one in the morning while he strummed away on his guitar and she traced idle shapes on his skin illuminated only by the light outside the window and the fairy lights decorating his room (courtesy of Colette) he had stopped playing only to snuggle up next to her and ask quietly: why do you think she left me? That was the first and only time he’s brought up his unresolved feelings over his mother, he doesn’t think he’s even spoken about her to that extent with Tris and he’s his very best friend in the entire universe. She knows him too much it terrifies him.

“You couldn’t if you tried, love.” He replied teasingly but there is truth to it. Jaxson wouldn’t give up that easily if she did ever try to get rid of him or leave him, he wouldn’t until she clearly states that she doesn’t love him anymore, that’s when he’d stop. At the mention of her dad he couldn’t help but purse his lips slightly, he knows the man resents him for being with his perfect princess of a daughter and for the fact that Jaxson’s charges were dropped and was set free without his incident put on his record and he finds it both ironic and amusing because if only Chief Volkov knew half of the things his daughter does when she’s with Jaxson. “Oh yeah? Have you found him then? The perfect boy-next-door who goes to church every Sunday and helps old ladies cross the street?” He joked, trying to sounds more humorous than jealous of every boy she dated while they’re on break. 

“Hm, what? Oh, me, uh –” He paused, he hasn’t dated anyone per se, hasn’t taken anyone out to dinner or a movie during this break-up or done the whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing that lasts about a week, so he shook his head. “No, I haven’t dated anyone.” He finally answered but he has been screwing around but that goes unsaid. “Still waiting for Kiera Knightley to pick up the phone and say yes to my millionth date request though.” It was a joke, he glanced down at her and smiled wanting to clear the air and even if it was him who asked if she was dating someone he didn’t wish to continue this conversation. 

“Right, I think we’re here.” A couple for turns and up some steps and they were finally near her classroom, the bell was about to ring too and he’s far from where his own class is. Students were already rushing, nearly bumping into them but he pulled Colette closer to avoid collision. He doesn’t know if they have another class together or if he’ll see her before five this afternoon but he’s definitely going over is technically a bad idea on his part but. He’s missed being in her presence because despite their romantic involvement they’re still friends. “Guess I’ll leave you here now.” He added, removing his arm from around her shoulders.

[callcolette-blog]

         When it came to loving Jaxson, Nicolette knew that she couldn’t push him or he’d pull away further as it was it was nearly always never her decision to spend time apart, but what was a little time apart when she knew they would have forever? The girl was convinced that someday he’d be utterly and completely hers, that someday he’d actually get down on one knee and ask her to be married. If anyone could get Jaxson to do it, she could, but it had to be his choice. It couldn’t be her asking about it, it couldn’t be her being the girl that hints at everything. In a way she knew that the necklace she wore and never took off since her sixteenth birthday was a promise to her that he’d always be there for her at the very least, but she also knew that it made her the girl that meant everything to him -- that she was the girl he knew wouldn’t leave him like his mother had. He loved her and, though, he really didn’t say it all too much if at all, Nicolette knew that with her whole heart and for now it was enough. After all, they were only teenagers. 

They were serious about each other, yes, but that didn’t mean they had to make every serious decision right then especially when several would not be the best until they better understood what each thing meant. What she did know, though, was that love and being in love meant seeing your partner’s scars, their worst sides of them, all of their flaws, and still loving them enough to know they’re there and forgive them. What he had with some of his issues were.. natural responses to his home life, and he knew that. A father who didn’t care for him, a mother who left... His life was rather different than her own, but she hope and prayed that she showed him what his life could be with her and that eventually he wouldn’t be afraid of it or that someday he’d be so selfish to want to keep it because she was never letting go of him. The girl had a heart of gold and though it shone for her father, her mother, and her brother, it belonged to one person, and one person alone: Jaxson. And it has been his from the moment that they met -- with him is where she belongs. That is something she knows and will always know. No doubt about it.

Where he thought telling her would cause her not to speak to him, it would spur quite the opposite effect. The girl would be hurt, yes, but she would know as with all the others that she meant nothing to him. The problem was that Monica would always be a part of his life and she lived with him. Who she would be mad at would be her. A grown woman who couldn’t be faithful to her fiance, a grown woman who seduced her future son in law, a grown woman who acted like it was okay... And she, well, Nicolette, she would have to tell Jaxson’s father, but she would leave Jax out of it. Their relationship was already strained enough, but that did not mean that she couldn’t tell him that she knew she’d cheated on him. And despite his shortcomings with his own son, Jaxson’s father adored her and knew she would tell the truth -- knew that she was the one good thing in his son’s life. He’d believe her, he’d be hurt of course with everything, but he’d believe her. And this fiery little pixie would do her best to fix everything. But at the same time just because he knew didn’t mean his father would leave her. So, she’d feel pressed to get Jaxson out of there. A bachelor pad would be one thing, and she’d concede to that, but the girl would instead suggest that... Well, that he and her move in together. Finally get both of them from their houses so they can be together without sneaking around and with making their own decisions as the adults they were supposed to be. She’d just hope he’d take it.

They may not have a healthy relationship now, but they could. They were two teenagers in love, in love from a young age, and with that came stupid decisions and rash remarks... But as they grow older, Nicolette has grown so much by his side and whether Jaxson realizes it or not, he has well. And they’ll continue growing and she can see a fully healthy relationship for them when they accept their adulthood, their maturity, when they make those few leaps necessary. ‘Til then they were only teens and if they made it through this, then they would make it through anything. Because they knew each other. They knew each other’s hearts, desires... souls... There were several nights the two had laid together in each other’s bed and spoke of everything. About the promises, the commitments... About their futures and what they could be... The two of them in a house with wide open spaces and music in the background... Instruments in nearly every room and hardwood flooring as they built their life. Two kids. Two kids who would have both parents cherish the and let them be what they want and mae their own decisions all while they still kept them safe... It was a lovely dream. 

But there were other moments beneath the fairy lights that weren’t all so happy. Times where he opened up to her and she whispered her responses. “She doesn’t know you. And she’s missing out,” Nicolette remembered mumbling as her fingers played in his soft hair, his head resting upon her bare breast. “I love you,” coming off her lips as easy as rainfall before she moved to see his face and kiss his lips. He never had to say it back. But it was nights like that she knew he needed to hear it. And when she felt the way she did, it was the truth and she spoke it.

“It’s a good thing that’s not something I’d ever be caught trying,” though she would love to see him show how much he would hang onto her. How much he missed her, how much he loved her, but she knew right now he was trying to be strong for himself. But she also knew something was hurting him and the fact that he was hurt, hurt her -- which is why she tried all the more to be blase in answering his question. Nicolette wouldn’t lie to him, but he didn’t have to know how many boys walked through that door... Nor how many she... Well, he never got so far as the actual shagging. The body to body, the connecting. She couldn’t. But she’d given oral and received it a few times. The actual laying, though, that wasn’t something she could do. And even the oral made her feel dirty. Her body belonged to him and she remembered crying. She remembered crying after the boys left, crying herself to sleep because she’d felt guilty. But that wasn’t something ‘Colette would ever mention to him. Because she didn’t want him to feel bad for something he did when meaningless hook ups were always a part of him before he even met her. Yes, they were each other’s first time, but that didn’t mean that he hadn’t done anything before her. It just meant he’d never connected with someone. And she knew that there was disconnect in his body and his heart and soul when he shagged other girls. She knew it, but she didn’t enjoy talking about it, and she never would.

“Oh several,” Nicolette spoke up tentatively, it was almost weak. “Perfect boy next-doors are boring,” she added. “It’s like he doesn’t want me having any fun in life unless it’s good clean fun and that’s hardly fun at all when they lack personality.” Her body scooted in closer to his as they walked, needing to be near him, needing to feel a part of him. She needed more than this, but this was what she had, so she took it. And that good clean fun was something she had actually showed him and had the time of her life with. Going to amusement parks and holding hands, stealing kisses in line for a roller coaster, screaming at the top of their lungs and laughing while he won her a teddy bear only for them to end up in his car and finding somewhere private to park before the bear stayed in the front seat and they were in the back, her body contorting and hot breath passing her lips as the two... connected... and she moaned his name by his ear in happy refrains. Good clean fun was good for some time, but being... dirty... had its moments. Of course they hadn’t been like that right away, naturally he made advances, but they had a few dates together that were... cleanly. Not perfect, but cleanly, and it even as they sullied that, it didn’t start with the big thing right away. No, it was touching... tasting... Until one night when they actually had time to be together for a whole night and wake up together in the morning. That’s when they did everything, and it was perfect. Well, as perfect as it could be. And then they didn’t need full nights constantly to be connecting. She loved those the most, though. They just were able to enjoy it when they had the time, and it was like the two were addicted, but it was perfect.

Of course ‘Colette was pleased he hadn’t dated anyone, naturally she knew he’d shagged at least one if not several -- he was a bit self-destructive, especially without her, but she was glad he hadn’t even connected with someone enough to have anything minutely serious. All of hers weren’t either, but she had her times where she was self-destructive herself. Hence the aforementioned oral and the teardrops on her pillow. “Right, the Kiera Knightley debacle,” Nicolette hummed a little bit of a smile twitching the corner of her lips. “The only girl I will never live up to. How fate could be so cruel. You always asking what if, me being second choice...” She was teasing of course, but maybe a part of her wanted the reassurance that she was and would always be number one in his book.

Skidding slowly to a stop as they approached the classroom, the last thing Nicolette wanted was to walk through that door and subsequently part from him. Her body was only just getting used to his scent again, her cells the need to be even closer, and yet she’d have to pull herself away and go to class. At least she might see him throughout the day, though, that might just make things worse, but then there’s always Dimitri. Thank God for her brother and his job there because she’d missed seeing him every day if not as close to every day as possible. This guaranteed at least five days a week she could make sure to even if she wasn’t in his class on that specific one. The girl loved her daddy, but ever since she’s met Jaxson, he’s moved down from number one, and Dimitri has always been the close second. So rather than one place, Chief Volkov fell to third while Jaxson took number one for her and Dimitri remained second. Though on breaks, he could be seen as first of course since she couldn’t go to Jaxson when she was upset -- especially when he was the reason. “Right,” the brunette answered only to be suddenly brought in even closer to him. Body to body. Her heart stopped.

Brown eyes flickered, and though he removed his arm, they were still merely inches from each other and she hadn’t made a move to pull apart, just swallowed. Though after a moment she did because she knew she should not be tempting herself. He already... sort of rejected her earlier in not giving her what she wanted in a kiss... So she didn’t want to have him full out actually reject her if she tried, and that meant taking that step back and looking up at him for just a moment, a bit lip between her teeth as she debated. “I guess so,” And then she took the leap -- not a big one, but she stepped back to him and stood on her toes to try to place a kiss upon his cheek, but instead it ended up somewhere around his neck and jawline, soft and tender before she pulled back with a little nudge of her nose upon his skin after. “See you tonight.” It wasn’t a question, she knew he’d come by or if he didn’t then she would go to him. She missed him too much not to. “Goodbye.”

[shilohpoole-blog]

Shiloh opened one eye and looked over at Colette only to open the other eye soon after and offered her a bright smile as they listened to her chuckle. He scooted over and padded the spot on the grass next to them for her to sit as well, joining them in stopping to smell the roses, as she had stated. “That’s true, the world will always keep revolving, so that’s out of our control. But, what we can control though is our own bodies, and our own minds. Stillness can be very helpful in clearing you mind and other things too. Come on, join me in meditation, and I’ll tell you all about it.” Shiloh grinned; patting the spot again before returning their hand to their knee.

[callcolette-blog]

          Naturally a bright grin spurred one of her own in response. It was hard not to smile genuinely when someone else was even as she laughed and gathered herself, watching them quietly as they patted beside them. She wouldn’t turn down such an offer of course, not from someone who clearly meant no harm, but she didn’t move yet until she listened to what they had to say in response to what she did. “Clearing your mind to think or just clearing your mind?” Nicolette bothered to ask as she let her eyes narrow ever so slightly in curiosity but still sat down beside them with brows lifted. “You know, I don’t usually meditate, but sure. Why don’t you tell me all about it. I’ve got nothing better to do.” Not that this was awful. But in the scheme of things. she had nothing else to do at all.

[victorgriffin-blog]

“I’m a bit… drunk… but I’m super hungry… Are those chips? Oh my fucking god thank you thank you thank you-” Victor plunged his head into the bowl of chips, still blubbering a few thank yous.

[callcolette-blog]

         Nicolette found laughter bubbling over her lips as she watched him, eyes bright as she tried not to look away and handed him the chips or tried to before he put his face in them and her giggle only deafened. “Are you sure you’re only drunk?” She asked amidst her laughter. “Because you might be a little...” then she gestured the pretty much international gesture for toked up with a cheeky grin as she waited for his answer.

[callcolette-blog]

♥ // ♞ (dimitri's ill) // ♠ -- all from dimitri!

♥: Your muse crying about something

         “Hey, no,” Nicolette’s arms wrapped around his neck to rest upon his shoulders as she nearly leapt up into his arms. “You won’t lose me, Mitya,” tears pricked her own eyes as she held him close. “You need to do this, you need to get out from under his thumb. It’s making you miserable, I understand.” Salt water ran down her cheeks in droplets as her tears fell and she held him close. “He won’t keep me from you just because he’s upset. He can’t do that. I won’t allow it. Maman won’t allow it. We will see each other. We will see each other a lot.” She wanted to beg him not to go so she could always have him close, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. “Text me, call me. Wherever you go I’ll find a way to get to you. Or you could always come pick me up. I love you.” Soft sobs wracked her as she held him even closer and sniffed. “So much, Mitya. You’ll never have to let me go.”

♞: Caring for each other while ill (specify which party is which)

         Brown eyes lifted from the book she was reading, Anna Karenina -- of course, when she heard him stirring. She’d been watching him for at least an hour since he fell asleep, staying with him while he was sick and hardly leaving except for when she had school and he made her go, or well, her father did. It was part of him agreeing for her to stay over with Dimitri in the first place. But still, she always made sure to be ready for if he woke up again and needed anything -- a bucket, some water, soup... “Dimitri?” Her fingers closed around the bound leather before she got up and crossed over to kneel down by his side, face to face. “Do you need anything?” Her hand went to the bowl of water with the cloth floating in it before wringing it out and putting it to his forehead like she’d been doing periodically. “Whatever you need, I’ll get it. Even if I have to leave.” Anything.

♠: Your muse adjusting their jewelry/neck tie/etc.

         “Don’t worry so much, Mitya,” ‘Colette murmured tenderly, relying on a diminutive of his name like a term of endearment, as her fingers wrapped carefully around the ends of the silken tie she’d just brought around his neck. “You’ll do great at the interview, and you’ll do great as a teacher. And then you’ll get to see me more. Especially when I’m the first one to sign up for your class,” her smile was gentle and she carefully knotted the tie before sliding it up and tightening it just the right amount around his neck. “They’re not going to turn you down, I promise. Even if they did, they’d have a fiery little pixie knocking down their doors to give them a lecture,” she teased when she pulled back to admire her work and stepped down from the stair she was standing on only to be closer to him and wrap her arms around his frame, her head reaching his chest as she squeezed. “Ya lyublyu tebya. Knock ‘em dead.”

[dimitriisms-blog]

♘ [When she was like 5 and he was 18], ♛, ♢, ♥, ♦ - All from Nicolette [Attack me with those Sibling Feels™ basically]

♘: Cuddling in a blanket fort 

       “listen up, little one,” he says, smiling down at colette’s small figure wrapped in his arms. “one day, you’re going to achieve great things, and become a great person – with or without dad’s permission.” he mutters darkly, but still he brings her close, their ‘secret hideout’ still ever intact as he lets her nuzzle against his chest. “and whenever you’ll need me – i swear to god, kiddo. you’ll have me.”

♛: Sharing a dessert

          “did you just– take that last piece without looking?” he stares down at the empty tray of chocolate chip cookies, dumbfounded, before the outline of a small smirk graces his lips. “that’s the last time i ever share something with you, idiot; you’re so going to pay for that.”

♢: Forehead or cheek kisses

          “don’t let dad know i was here, okay?” arms full with art textbooks, the young man rushes down the steps, his little sister trailing behind him. “he’ll think i’ll want to start coming back regularly – which is literally the furthest thing from what i want, really. could you get that?” door now open, dimitri rushes out onto the front porch and down the steps – but not before giving colette a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “you’re the best, kiddo; love you lots!” he exclaims with a laugh, waving goodbye as he hurriedly begins to walk back to his car.

♥: Your muse crying about something

          arms are quick to wrap around the girl’s now fragile-looking frame as anger boils inside her. “was it jaxson?” he questions, “was it dad?” silence envelopes them for a moment, the shuddering of the teary-eyed girl breaking dimitri’s heart bit by bit, piece by piece. “tell me who did this to you.” he’s whispering, stroking her hair and trying to keep calm though he’s close to seeing red. “tell me who’s to blame, and they’ll be sorry they ever even considered hurting you.”

♦: Slow dancing

           “i can’t believe i’m learning this from you.” he bemoans, half jokingly, as he’s swaying to the rhythm in time, his arms both on colette’s frame. he figures, though – if he were to learn dance, it was best he learn it from his own sister. he chuckles, wrapping colette in his arms as they remain in time to the music, his head resting on hers as he smiles, and he sees her return the expression. winking down at her, “love ‘ya, sissy.” he says, and even in his joking tone – he’s sure colette knows he means it.

[shilohpoole-blog]

Shiloh sat somewhere on campus with his legs crossed on top of each other and his hands rested palms-up on top of his knees like he was meditating. He breathed in for four counts, and then held his breath for another four before exhaling. He heard footsteps approaching, and without opening his eyes, he answered the sound. “Be still, grasshopper. The seeds of wisdom are hard at work.”

[callcolette-blog]

         Confusion befit her brow as she came to a halt. Were they talking to her? Probably, so she paused and waited a moment before speaking. “Wouldn’t they still be at work whether I moved or not?” Nicolette chuckled. “I mean, I’m always one to stop and smell the roses, but... The world doesn’t stop revolving because people keep moving... In fact, stilling would not even be the best idea, don’t you think? Otherwise how will anything progress?”

[permanent-ink-and-paper]

And then he said, “i’m scared.” “Of what? Me?” I replied. He shook his head. “Of me,” he looked at me. His hands trembled as they touched my skin. “Of me hurting you.”

10 out of a thousand entries i’ll be writing about you. (via permanent-ink-and-paper)

[fringehq]

“I’m not nosy, this is just…the third time that ambulance has showed up at that house this week, I’m just curious.”

[callcolette-blog]

         “Well, do you know anything about the family? At least the ambulance is there, but if it’s that frequent something’s clearly wrong.” Maybe she should leave them a fruit basket on their doorstep to let them know someone cares... 

[ctrltrip]

          “You’re half Russian and half French? Well you don’t say.” He laughed, she looked as intimidating as an angry chipmunk and that’s funny because he’s never seen an angry chipmunk, maybe he should Google it. “Oh fuck that’s true, he is a cop.” It’s something Trip has forgotten but it’s definitely common knowledge especially the irony of her going out (and breaking up) with Jaxson who got arrested by her dad, it’s a common tale. “Hey, don’t look at me, I have no idea what the fuck you said in french but if it gets me a record I don’t wanna say it.” He grinned, “Yeah I guess so, but I have a question. Who’d be tougher on these so called harassers, your copper dad or your Romeo?”

[callcolette-blog]

         “Russian father, French mother,” Nicolette responded with a proud grin as he laughed over at her. He was right, though, she didn’t look intimidating, but she definitely could be. And she could also bring men larger than her to their knees -- but that’s mostly because they love her. Her father, her brother, Jaxson... They’d all do anything for her. “Chief of police,” the girl reminded with a smirk and tilted her head as he spoke up more, making her chuckle. “It means ‘will you have sex with me tonight?’ It was in a song awhile back,” Nicolette laughed, but she still smiled as he went on and she actually had to think about it. “I think... If you went one way with words, my father would be more likely, and with a good ole punch to the face... That would be Jax. And myself honestly. I can protect myself, but I know even if I did a number they both would as well if I told them about it. And don’t forget my brother. I’m very well protected.”

[jiinsuns]

      He smiled, genuinely smiled because she knows him and how she just accepted, from the moment they met he knew he was going to be hooked on her and he knew it was going to fuck him up both good and bad. Colette is the perfect daughter, the perfect girl and he wanted her from the very beginning, hell everyone knew he was pining after her the moment he laid his blue eyes on her. Her wonderful hair he’s run his hands though and gripped, her pretty colored mouth he’s kissed countless times, she’s like that one Arctic Monkeys song “she’s made of outer space and her lips are like a galaxy’s edge” that’s Colette, his Colette. Jaxson should really stop thinking of her as his, she doesn’t belong to him and she doesn’t belong to her father but God does he wish he could just call it quits now and ask her to get back with him again and he knows she’ll agree just as breathlessly as he’d ask but things are different now, he fucked up real bad and if she found out he doesn’t know what he’ll do if her lovely eyes looked at him differently. 

“Five’s good, maybe I can come earlier and join you in the shower,” He said shamelessly, joking of course, “Save water and all that.” It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. His gaze trailed down to her neck, a gold necklace catching his eye and he reached out to hook a finger underneath it, lifting it up to see the gold circle with diamonds embedded into it writing out a C. He got her that on her sixteenth birthday, gave it to her while they sat in his car outside her street but further down so her dad wouldn’t see. It took a lot to be able to get her dad, considering it wasn’t his money and those are real diamonds decorating it. It was simple but it held a lot of meaning, one could say it was a step away from a promise ring but even the idea of that makes him sweat. The commitment of forever is something they’ve spoken about in hushed whispers, beneath sheets, into each other’s mouths, drugged up on something Jaxson got them. It was too much for an eighteen year old to fathom. A lot for him to even really think about it. He doesn’t know if he’ll talk to her tomorrow, a week from now, two months from now, at the end of the school year or ten years later. He took a deep drag from his spliff, all these thoughts are messing with his head and this high is taking a while to kick in. He let go of her necklace, letting it fall back against her skin and restrained himself from just leaning in and kiss her. 

With a nod, Jaxson took yet another drag, looking around as he blew the smoke upwards. He couldn’t help but frown for just a second because they didn’t have first period together but they probably have at least one class with each other later on, at least he lowkey hopes they do. “I know you can but I want to take you.” He replied, his gaze returning to her and offered her a small smile, he dropped his joint on the floor, smudging it with the tip of his dirty Vans and ran a hand through his already messy hair. “Looks like I don’t have it anymore, c’mon, you’ve got English to get to.” He didn’t hesitate to grab her by her elbow and turn her around to walk with him into the entrance of the school before placing his arm around her shoulders, lazily hanging there. “I think you’re the one now who wants to get rid of me, it’s not that easy, babe, you know that.” It’s also better if he actually steps inside the building before getting and acting on the urge to skip out on the first day or at least first period because math early in the fucking morning is not something he’s going to enjoy. “So uh, you been seeing anyone?” He asked, trying to make his tone casual and hide how curious he actually he is.  

[callcolette-blog]

          His smile was enough to set her heartbeat off-kilter, the sloppy way his lips curled and the way his eyes brightened... She knew that it was real, but she also knew that this was the smile that belonged to her in nearly its purest form and it made her speechless as she flushed, cheeks pink with a rosy blush. Every reaction Nicolette ever gave him, every one was so natural and made her seem more innocent and love-struck than before, but those eyes had seen torrid things. That small, tight dancer body had bent to his will, flexed however he’d liked while his touch set her skin on fire and his kiss... did little to put out the flame, instead stoking it and bringing the girl to rapture alongside other parts of him... And when he looked at her like he did earlier, with that wolfy grin... that fire smoldered inside her, knowing the ‘trouble’ she was in. But the pleasure it would bring should she give into it. And she knew, oh she knew she would. And that anticipation made her toes curl in. 

The girl was a tiny flame thanks to him, dancing around the room and dancing up against the sides, and maybe she didn’t belong to anyone, but if she did... it was him. Only he could set her afire, only he could make her feel this way. Believe her, she knew it. She might not have had countless shags on breaks, but she’s had a few and none... Not a single one ever made her feel this way, but it was long before she let him enter her in the raunchiest way that he had her, that she was hooked. No she was hooked from the moment his eyes met hers in the police department her petite form in a flowy mini skater skirt and a leotard since she was going to practice later that day. The minute she saw those eyes so blue and heard his voice talking to her... Oh she was done for. And she’s been done ever since.

He may have been joking about joining her in the shower, but she wasn’t, no she definitely wasn’t as her eyes met his and she tilted her head with a smirk upon her lips: “Nothing’s stopping you.” She’d just make sure to do her homework first and finish up as much as she could before he got there because with him there after being apart for months? There was no separating them. Not until he had to leave for his sake with her father or mother coming home, though, if he was up for the extra trickery, she’d have him stay the whole night. Especially when they both knew her father’s schedule like clockwork and footstep. He checked her before he went to sleep, he checked her in the morning. Any time in between and the petite ballerina could be doing whatever they wanted to be doing or at the very least wrapped up in him as she slept because no doubt she’d be tired. Losing energy would be exhausting, but in the best type of way.

Stilling as his finger hooked beneath her pendant, Nicolette was a lot more careful in meeting his eye because this... was more intimate... than the seductive banter between the two of them, the flirtations that drew him to coming to bed her later. No, this was him being close to her and her back straightening, this was a memory on display while he played with the only gold jewelry she owned, and the only necklace she’s worn ever since she turned sixteen. Jax didn’t buy gifts for people, not like this one. Not something so thought out and clearly done specifically for her and how he calls her just a syllable off from her name. 

She loved ‘Colette more because he said it. And he said it with that look in his eyes that told her he loved her, that look in his eyes that let her know it was a promise. And she knew as she wore it, she knew every time they broke off their relationship, they’d get back together. And she knew by now most of the reason why they broke up in the first place could sum up to them being young. To be young and find the one you want to be with the rest of your life is rare, but it’s also difficult. Because you’re in height of emotion and you want to have fun and be free. They ‘lived’ together, they had fun together, but when Jax was well Jax... He needed exploration and she knew it. But she also knew someday he’d look at her and get down on one knee. And father’s blessing or not, she’d say yes. Guaranteed. But maybe that was the romantic in her. And her father would say she was making up excuses for him. But she wasn’t. Everyone always said when you’ve met the one you’ll just know. And she knew. So why did they fight her on this one?

When the pendant fell back against her chest, resting above the area and neatly just below her collarbone, ‘Colette lowly withdrew her gaze -- knowing full well that while she was mesmerized he was keeping himself from doing something. And it made her wonder why. And what she came up with was far from the actual truth, and it hurt more. He obviously didn’t have someone he felt strongly about with how he was going to come to her house, but he obviously didn’t want her back as much as she wanted him, or that’s what she thought. Considering, she’d given off many signals that she wanted to be kissed, wanted him to say something. And while she felt slightly defeated, she would take what she would get because she loved him, including the walk to class he offered even though she didn’t ask him.

Taken first by her elbow as he turned her only to rest his arm around her, Nicolette didn’t hesitate to move in closer and rest her head upon his shoulder. Though she was surprised he gave up the rest of his spliff for her, she was also pleasantly happy he did even through the disheartening of how he seemed to be distant despite everything. The girl could read him too well, he had to know eventually there would be questions. And hopefully she’d find out from him rather than anyone else about his secret because she’d be upset, but she wouldn’t hate him. She could never hate him. She’d just want him for her own and out of that house with her... If she could help it. 

“I never want to get rid of you,” the brunette murmured gently, very lowly as she breathed in his scent and relaxed because of it. He smelled like body wash, clove, and nicotine. And she’d come to love the scent. “Well,” her head lifted ever so slightly. “You know how daddy is. Hoping I’ll find someone so I can forget you, and inviting them over for dinners and et cetera to set us up.” Nothing serious. Most dates she had with one of them was three to four. After that she let them go. But that was enough to appease her father while she pined for, well, the one right here. Jaxson with his arm around her. And as masochistic as she was, she couldn’t stop herself from asking... “You?”

[callcolette-blog]

💖 for dimitri !!

Send “💖” and my muse will admit something they find cute about yours.

         “He’s a really good cuddler. Don’t let his sarcasm fool you, but the cute thing about it is he sometimes lets me big spoon and it probably looks silly. But I love him. He’s the best.” Nicolette grinned as she answered, not even questioning it for a minute.

[451seconds]

“You deserve better,” he whispers, staring at his hands. “That’s what you don’t get,” she says, and she's exasperated. “I don’t care if I deserve better, because I want you.“  He lifts his head. She takes his hand. “There is nothing better than you.”

H.L. // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #12 (via bulletcrafts)