Pseudonym

Callie Forsythe | 24 | Bisexual | Writer ~~~~~~~  Vices: Liquor and Lies

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

It’s the first time she’d really been in his arms since leaving the house and already that had felt like it’d been hours ago. Far too long considering the emotional toll the lunch had taken. He nodded at her ask, knowing for far too long that this had been in the plans for them. He’d waited and planned for this day for months and it was finally here. He was going to marry her that night. All they’d needed was to get that out of the way and as far as she seemed to be concerned they had. He wasn’t going to let anything else get in the way of finally making official. “Yes baby. Always yes. Let’s get the fuck out of here and we can make that happen tonight.” He agreed, knowing that even if she would be willing to go right then in the moment that it wasn’t the best idea. She was too emotional from her interaction with Marjorie and he was certain that wasn’t what either of them had wanted their wedding to be about. It was going to be about them and their connection and in order for that to happen, they needed that to be their focus first. 

His fingers were returned to slipping slowly beneath her shirt so that his fingertips could graze against her skin, pushing the back of her shirt up as they ventured. His lips were still pressed firmly to hers, only parting to allow small gasps of air and her quiet begging. “You will baby. I’m not making us wait another day.” He promised her again as his fingers teased the line of her bra. This was by far the closest he’d ever been willing to get to doing something so public. His emotions heightened and knowing that this was going to be the only thing to make her feel safe right now. “I’m right here Cal. I’ve got you baby. Let’s just get you back to the car first okay?” Calum offered as he wrapped his arms under her legs to lift her up off of his seat. “I’ve got you.” He cooed as he tossed one more glance at the woman who was already getting up to walk away. “This is mine now.” He mused as he leaned in to kiss her one more time, and carefully tossed $20 on the table. 

Even as she’s begging she knows him better than to think he’d actually throw her down on the table. The way they touch each other is sacred to Calum, it’s profound and emotional and he has a right to never want to share that with prying eyes. His fingers teasing the line of her bra is enough, the way he kisses her back is enough of a compromise to settle her hunger down just a little. They’re both on the same page about this, she can feel it. The wedding was always going to happen tonight, but they need to eradicate the shadows first, erase them with fireworks and sizzling sparks and the reminder that this bond was theirs alone.

She feels so small as he lifts her up, lips pressing to his. She’s glad that she can’t see behind her, that she can’t watch how easy it probably was for Marjorie to get up and walk away. Callie closes her eyes so she can’t see anything, and nestles into the curve of Calum’s neck. “Yours,” she echoes, fingers playing through the fine hairs at the base of his neck. He’s got her and she’s got him and even though lunch had been a thunderstorm, she had her umbrella. She could weather it and any other storm. “I love you. I love you, Calum,” she whispered, a record on repeat because there was no way to say it enough. No one had ever gone to bat for her before. This was what made him more than just her man, her lover, her friend. He was her partner. An equally invested party in her life, and she in his. “I’m gonna wear a white dress, and we’re gonna stop by the flower shop for whatever they have to use as a bouquet. And we have to text Alec and Shane.”

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

The moment feels over almost as quickly as it had started. Callie had shut down any hope of Marjorie might have had at any happy reconciliation as fake as it would have been anyways, and Calum just as quickly realized that it was probably for the best. It had been nothing more than wishful thinking for this to have gone any better than it had. He could feel Callie’s fingers moving up his thigh and knew right away that it was only a matter of time before their need for one another started acting up and they’d have to retreat anyways. So maybe they were a little codependent. He watched the older woman’s face as Callie spoke. Witnessed what it looked like to be cast out by your own flesh and blood. The result of being so closed off to the idea of any actual relationship that she would sell Callie out to make a quick buck. He wondered for a moment again what this would have been like for him. If either of his parents were still alive. What lunch with them would have gone like. He didn’t have any frame of reference for his mom but selfishly he hoped it wouldn’t have gone like this. Callie was stronger than him when it came to casting people out and he wasn’t going to question her statement as she snuggled her way into his neck. This time allowing both of his arms to wrap around her tightly.

“We are. After this, we’d already talked about it. Wait until she feels better. And then as soon as we’re ready, go to the little courthouse downtown so I can marry your daughter. I knew going into this that that was the plan. And while I’d been hoping for approval, I can be just as happy with making sure you know this. That I will do a hell of a lot better job taking care of her than you ever did.” He added as he let his fingers move to cup her cheek, his eyes turning to meet hers instead. “For the rest of my life that’s the plan. It’s you and me girl.” He promised as his thumb brushed across her cheek to wipe away the tears that had been previously rolling down them.

He smiled to himself when she brought the conversation back to them and their family. The family they’d talked about so many times, that he could see so clearly. “I can’t wait Cal. I’m so fucking excited.” He said, his voice shaking from the wide range of emotions their lunch had produced for him. “I’m all in baby. You, me, some kids, all the animals, uncle Alec. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything quite as much.” The brunette agreed as he welcomed Callie’s kisses with careless abandon. For once not minding how public or awkward the scenery. His lips found hers and moved eagerly as he cradled her body against his chest. “I couldn’t help it if I tried. You’re my person and  I love you the most.”  

Calum cannot fill in the empty spaces where her parents love and support should have been. And she couldn’t fill in his either. But they could build a world together, so big and green and vast and filled with love and love that those empty spaces become ant sized specs among a bigger picture. “Marry me,” she whispered as he kissed her back. The restaurant disappears, it’s no longer existent, her mother faded away like the whispy ends of dandelion seeds in the wind and there was only this. Her fingers cradling him, her kisses desperate and emotional. “Marry me tonight baby. Tonight. I need to be yours. I can’t go another day without being your wife.” 

She’s shaking with the weight of grief for the things she knows she cannot have, and with soft wonder and awe at the things she knew she could have. She’s trembling with gratitude for his kindness, his warmth, the way he sees her so clearly. “I wanna go to bed your wife.” Normally she’s semi sensitive to his aversion to super public affection beyond handholding and some light making out. But she needs him too badly. He’s her person. And right now in this second he feels like her only person, the only person in the whole world who truly loves her. There’s a sadness in that, yes. But it also makes her gravitate towards him, desperate for his touch, for the familiar snap of their bond washing over him. “Baby I need you,” she whispers fiercely against his lips, fingers shaking as they shift towards the waistband of his pants and give them a suggestive tug. She’s a mess of adrenaline, of love and lust and anger and disappointment and pride, and she needs to be calmed down before they can go to the courthouse. “Make love to me, baby. Please...please I need you.”

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

For the first time since they’d sat down, Calum felt his fists curl against Callie’s skin. His blood rising just a bit. He couldn’t speak to much regarding their past but what she was suggesting was a low blow. It wasn’t lost on him that Callie had a past, he had one as well but the suggestion that she would ever try and seduce someone like Gavin left a bad taste in his mouth. “You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s your response to a conflict of interest? But I’m the one that you think is going to be bad for her.” He said in mild disgust as he softened his palm, reminding himself to breathe through this situation. Cal knew he couldn’t let himself get to worked up. This wasn’t his place, but to hear either of them refer to her as a slut had him just as ready to pounce across the table. “When the things that are supposed to be filling your life aren’t doing their job to keep your cup filled you find another way to fill it. Survival instincts am I right? You should be proud you raised someone who gave the middle finger to natural selection.” Calum shot off as he let his fingers slip further up the back of her shirt. He needed this for himself as well to keep calm as he somehow attempted to pull her in closer, once again pressing his lips to her cheek, as an additional fuck you to the mention of her promiscuity. 

When Marjorie started up again, he kept her close, had a feeling this was only going to set off another slew of rallies. Couldn’t have expected the string of well put together stories that seemed like they slid so easily off of her tongue. And at first, he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t bought into it. Calum had never really been privy to Callie’s lies. She had kept them from him. He could briefly see the difference in her attitude between the girl he’d met in group and the woman he’d fallen in love with but it wasn’t that different in his opinion. If what Callie said was true and this was all a string of stories, he had to admit he was impressed. Especially considering it was really everything he could have hoped for himself. What life could have been like had his dad not decided to bring a psychopath into their home. 

He felt his stomach drop when Callie called her on her bullshit. When she saw through the facade so clearly. He knew he shouldn’t have expected anything less and that a future with that kind of happy family wasn’t going to be in the cards for them. If Calum and Callie wanted happiness they were going to have to take it for themselves. And that’s exactly what he planned on doing with or without Marjorie’s approval. He noted when Callie’s voice went soft, let his attention settle on her once more as the hurt registered on her features. His heart was fully invested in taking as much of that away from her later as he could. “It’s funny that you come in here Marjorie and suggest that she’s broken. You suggest that she’s not doing enough, still drinking too much, that she’s been slutting around Dayton when you have no right to make those accusations. Callie is by far the most incredible person I’ve ever met in my entire life. I have never loved another person the way that I am completely in love with her. She makes this town so much better. And if you can’t see that. Or want a relationship with her for just that, then forget any sort of approval. Because I am going to spend the rest of my life loving your daughter the way she properly fucking deserves.” 

His fingers slip further up her shirt, and Callie’s hand is on his thigh, moving in the tiniest increments up his leg. She can’t help that this is how she grounds herself, she can’t help that emotional stressors make her crave the escape of him. The loss of anger has deflated her. Sorrow and disappointment don’t seem to take up as much space as rage does, and she feels like she’s shrinking as Calum fills in the empty spaces, comes to her defense in a way the people who shared her dna had never. She’d known in her heart of hearts that this lunch was going to be bad. She’d known but you could know you were about to get a limb chopped off and that didn’t minimize the sting of the knife coming down onto you.

She stung now, everywhere stung except where Calum was touching her, tears are collecting and beading and rolling quietly down her cheeks. This moment is an ending. It is a burial for the last little bit of hope she had left in her for Marjorie. “I don’t want to see you again,” she whispered thickly, fiercely. “Don’t contact me again, Marjorie. You don’t have the right to my joy, you don’t have the right to grasp at the first glances of my life and compare it to what you think I should be doing, how you think I should be living. Calum makes me happy. He makes me whole in a way I have never felt. We laugh every day. He kisses me good morning, he kisses me goodnight. He knows my dreams and my fears, he has held me while I cried, he has listened to me pour all my sorrows at his feet and he has made sure that every single day I know my worth, my value, that I am deserving of love.” She leans into Calum, snuggles into the warmth of his neck. “I’m going to marry him and you aren’t invited. I promise you that I won’t even think of you.”

Callie flings a curtain up, a barrier, she banishes the memory of Marjorie, banishes her presence at that very table, and with tears in her eyes she cups Calum’s face tenderly in her hands. “We get to build our family from the ground up baby. We get to vet everyone in our lives, make them earn their place and their right to share our happiness. When we have kids we are going to know that we trust every single person those children call family to have their best interests at heart. We will feel safe.” And to spite her mother and because she wants to, because she needs to, she slides from her chair and into Calum’s lap to kiss him. “I love you, I love you, thank you for loving me so good, baby.”

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

So long as she was feeling safe, that was the most important thing to him and for a moment he felt it. For the moment he really felt like maybe the peace could be kept as he reminded her that regardless of who was sitting across from them they had their place in the world that no one could take from them. Unfortunately, it was short-lived as Calum noted the way Marjorie’s attention shift. That was fine. He could handle criticism in his direction so long as it kept Callie out of the line of fire. “Yeah did Gavin also tell you, he used to look at your daughter like she was a piece of meat? Great therapist. Could have been better if I hadn’t spent the entire first session of that group wanting to gag over the way he looked at her like she was some sort of project that needed fixing until she was well enough to seduce.” He offered, certain it would be met with an additional round of disdain. “Be concerned about me all you want, but in the eight months I’ve known your daughter, I’ve seen her sober a hell of a lot more than I’ve seen her drunk. And you’re not going to be able to decide in one lunch whether or not I’m healthy for her. Which is literally why I wanted to be here.” He added as he felt the sudden squeeze of his girlfriend’s fingers around his. 

Calum had only seen Callie mad a handful of times, typically over small things, and only once when he’d told her about Dayana which could hardly be described as anger. Hurt, disappointed, lost, but the anger fell off pretty quick, especially once she’d returned. But this time he could feel it bubbling in her voice. The defensiveness rising to the top as she defended their relationship. His eyes continued to shift between her and her mother’s reaction, but his fingers continued moving lightly up and down her back, barely brushing against her skin to try and keep her stable. He knew she was upset but it felt manageable as he motioned to the waiter who had served the drink to forgo asking about orders and come back in a bit. 

He was going to take her pause as she sucked down the drink to interject, to try and ease the tension again, but before he’d even had the opportunity she was off again. This wasn’t going to be a place for him to play too much talking and he’d already accepted it, instead letting his focus remain on trying to keep the peace to ensure they weren’t completely kicked out of the restaurant. “I know this probably is still really out of place for me to say, but Cal I can’t really blame her for wanting to see you. Even if you two haven’t exactly been in touch, I’d hate having to know a life without you in it.” He added while trying to grasp Marjorie’s angle. “But I’d like to add that while your approval was my intent, I will always put her first so please be very careful about how you address our relationship.” This was a bit more of a threat than he’d intended, but something to remind Callie that he was still on her side. 

Marjorie’s face went stoney, unreadable as Calum parried at her with the truth about Gavin’s less than professional behavior. “And did Callie give him reason to? Because she’s not exactly shy about attempting to seduce people. How many times did you bring strange boys and men into my home, hmm Callie?” The fire burns in Callie’s eyes. “Go ahead, mother, call me a slut. Wouldn’t be the first time, and I really don’t care. I found comfort in promiscuity as a teen, yes. Because I couldn’t talk to my fucking parent about the messed up shit that was happening.”

Calum’s fingertips against her bare skin are the only thing keeping her from flipping the table. They haven’t even made it to appetizers and she feels sick, she feels past uncomfortable. She doesn’t like this, she doesn’t like Marjorie and that’s a godawful realization to reconcile with. To know that blood of your blood and bone of your bone is a person you just do not like and do not want to be around. But she’s trying, she’s trying to hold herself together for Calum’s sake, feels like she’ll let him down if she doesn’t walk out of this “successful” even though she doesn’t know what her mind is even trying to describe a successful venture as.

“You want me to say I fucked up.” 

Her mother’s voice snaps her back into reality. Marjorie has suddenly aged twenty years at the table, face drawn and sullen and everything about her heavy. “I fucked up, Callie. I didn’t know how to navigate you through that situation. We were both poisoned by the same thing and I couldn’t help myself and I couldn’t help you and I panicked. I panicked and I decided the best thing to do would just be to try and cut the poison out, cut it off.”

Callie shakes her head. “That’s not good enough. I was still drowning. Your plan wasn’t working. I told you it wasn’t working, I told you I couldn’t breathe, that everything hurt, that I was so sad and so confused. But you were just concerned about moving to the next town. A manicured lawn. Being on the PTO. You wanted a stepford wives life and when it was clear I wasn’t fitting into that mold you stopped caring.”

It’s Marjorie’s turn to shake her head, voice insistent, hands clasped tightly atop the table. “That’s not fair and that’s not true. You pushed me away. And I ran out of the energy to chase you, to fix it. But I’m here now, trying again. Because you sounded better, you sounded open. Richard has always wanted to have a better relationship with you. His mother has always wanted to meet the closest thing to a granddaughter she’s ever had and she’s sick. She won’t be around much longer. I was hoping to rebuild us. I was hoping we could be a family, Callie.”

To an outside observer it might have seemed sincer, it might have seemed genuine. “So the thing you need to know about my mom, Calum, is that she’s a liar too. She’s just not very good at it.” She’s looking at her mother like she’s a puzzle that’s just been put together. But instead of depicting some idyllic scene, the picture this puzzle forms hurts. “Richard’s mother. That’s what this is about. She’s loaded, right? She handles all the trust funds. Wants to know she’s leaving her money to a happy family unit otherwise she’ll say fuck it and donate it to a children’s hospital or some other nobel charity.” 

Her voice goes soft, it goes watery. The anger is replaced by slow shocking waves of understanding. “You didn’t come here to see me. You’ve never seen me. Not really. Not even before Dad. You want to use me to create a brady bunch family moment so you and Richard can line your pockets. You were hoping Gavin would brainwash me into running home to you, falling in line, being your insta daughter. But that didn’t happen because I found Calum.”

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

Calum can feel for a moment the way Callie leaned into him. The way she physically relaxed into his hand and for a moment let him have her. He should have felt more shame in regards to his willingness to be affectionate with her in front of her mom, but ultimately he was her protector first. His lips leaning in to press to the side of her head as she settled in next to him. When Marjorie started in on discussing theater with him, he felt the first hint of real excitement that he had something to connect with her on. Something they both enjoyed that made him believe that maybe for a moment they could keep the discussion light and give Callie some real space to breathe. “That is very true. I’ve always had a lot of respect for people who can recognize that.” He teased, nodding his head as she listed off her resume of shows. “I’m a big fan of a lot of those. I think one of my favorites that we did when I was in high school was a little lesser-known but it was called Dark of the Moon. The whole cast was wearing all these crazy eye contacts. It was pretty cool.” He started as the waitress approached. 

His fingers had continued lightly brushing against her thigh, drawing small shapes and for a moment he let himself get distracted with the way she felt that he’d barely noticed her drink order. Not that he’d really thought much of it until her mom decided to comment. The second he’d processed it had him squeezing her hand a little tighter. A failed effort as she proceeded to spout off. He knew going into it that there was a chance for tension but he hadn’t quite gotten around to preparing the how to intervene when things got like this. 

“Okay whoa whoa whoa…” He started. That was a good start right? Of course. When did a lack of any actual thought not come off as anything other than reassuring? “I think there are plenty of reasons to ask for money back when it comes to Gavin but how far you’ve come and the progress you’ve made while you’ve been here in making something of yourself is not one of them.” He said to Callie instead of Marjorie. While his goal had been to get her blessing, it wasn’t near as necessary to him as Callie’s feelings of self-worth. His eyes on her as he felt her heating up. “Honestly though Marj I’ve gotta say that the drinks here are actually really good. I’ve been a few times and might be worth giving a try. I can handle the drives home. But one drink to take the edge off never really hurt anyone right?” The brunette suggested as he pressed his lips once again to Callie’s shoulder. “I’ll also say, I think you’d be kind of impressed. For a house of three and a couple pets, we manage to keep a pretty tight ship.” He added, offering a reassuring smile as his fingers moved to rub lightly up and down his girlfriends back. 

God bless Calum, awkwardly trying to play peacemaker. For a while it works. She turns her head and his eyes pull her in and for a second it’s just them while he reminds her how far she’s come. How hard she’s been working to pick up the fragments of herself and make them a human shape again. For a minute she feels the flames of her anger cool, for a minute this whole affair could have been salvaged.

“Ah yes. Gavin told me the pair of you moved, very fast. I believe the term he used in almost every email he sent me was “unhealthily co-dependent.” Marjorie ignores Callie, sweeps her under the rug. Her eyes laser track onto Calum, her body leaning forward towards him slightly. “The thing about my daughter, Calum, is that she doesn’t have a drink to take the edge off. She has a drink because she has an addiction to things that make her feel good for a minute and bad for 24 hours the next day. You understand that as a parent I’m going to be concerned about whether or not you’re one of those things.”

Snap. Crackle, she swears she hears her bones light up, ignite like kindling. “Calum and I have been together for eight months now,” she shot back, this time protectively squeezing his hand. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to just show up here and pick up have my kid home by curfew mode. This is my life, my independent life that I have been and will continue to be building with or without your two cents tossed in. Eight months with Calum has done more good for me than a lifetime under your roof did, Marjorie. You don’t get to question him. I don’t give a flying fuck how entitled to it you feel. He might be here because he’s an old fashioned good guy and he wants your approval. But don’t think for a second that I need it.”

The drinks arrive and Callie grabs for the martini, downs half of it in one go.”Let’s erase the small talk, shall we? I mean you’re not really a fan of it, are you, mother? And I spent too long following your lead during conversations, so long that I lost my voice, lost my knowledge that I had a right to put words to what I was feeling. So let’s just get to it. Why are you here? Why out of the blue, out of years of not giving a crap, did you suddenly blackmail me into therapy, why are you suddenly invested in who I’m dating, where I’m living, how many pets I have. Because if you’ve been making progress in therapy for ten years...if it was helping so much....why weren’t you trying to talk me into it two years ago, three years ago, five years ago? Where was the child psychologist for 12 year old me? Where was the therapy I begged you for when I was 13, 14, 15???”

[callieforsytherp]

teehill‌:

callieforsytherp‌:

Her fingers fly over the screen as she punches in her number. It’s the first time she’s really ever given her real contact information to a new person. It was the first time she’d willingly left herself open to future socialization. “Hi Tee, glad I could help you out. Thank you in advance for the coffee. I’m on deadline right now and I’m pretty much made 70 percent of lattes.” She hands him his phone back with a smile, wants to remember to thank Calum for this moment when she gets home. Because he’s the reason for every good moment she’s capable of having. “I’m Callie. Get home safe okay. My schedule is flexible so text me about the coffee anytime. Don’t like, go out of your way inconveniencing yourself.”

Considering Tee pretty much lived on coffee, he could understand what she meant. And even though he usually wasn’t the sort of person to go out of his way to socialise with someone new, it was the least he could do in this case and maybe it could work to his advantage. After all, he’d been saying for weeks that he needed to make new friends and stop depending on his roommates so much. “Thanks again for your help, it was the only way I was getting home tonight. I’ll make sure to text you about that coffee at some point and we can discuss options.” Tee got in his car and turned the key in the ignition, sighing in relief when the car came to life. He pulled out of where he parked and into the road with one last wave to Callie. 

END

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

Calum would be lying if he said he didn’t kind of want to chuckle at the idea of Gavin having a shit ton of Pinterest boards for his variety of inspirational messages. That was so on brand and usually something he and Callie would have laid in bed and giggled about for hours if they weren’t in a situation that felt like it was becoming tenser and tenser by the minute. It was how everything had started for them. Sitting and making fun of Gavin and all of his shenanigans. Poking fun at his suggestions and going beyond exaggerating in stories that everyone in the group knew to be re-tellings of Disney films. It laid the foundation for their entire relationship to grow on. When she mentioned Colorado, Calum let his eyes settle from looking between the two of them, trusting for the moment that holding Callie’s hand might have been enough while Marjorie expressed her gratitude. 

Calum was about to comment when he heard Callie make her first statement since sitting down. One that he was certain would only be the first of many shots that she’d likely be taking in the older woman’s direction that night. He could sense the tension in her voice and saw it so clearly in those piercing green eyes as his hand gave hers another squeeze. The night was still young and Callie deserved the opportunity to express her grievances no matter how quick fired they may have been. He wondered briefly if the moments between sentences seemed as long for everyone else at the table as they did for him when Marjorie started up again. Her explanation a little soul-crushing as he kept his eyes on Callie, weary of her reaction.

His own had been habitual. He couldn’t help releasing her hand so that he could grab the leg of her chair and instinctively pulled it in closer. Whether she’d verbalized it or not he knew it’d come with some sense of calm as he wrapped an arm around her waist and grabbed her other hand instead. Something to tell her that he was still there even when her first defense hadn’t gone as planned. At her suggestion he nodded, giving her hand a squeeze as he brushed the back of his hand lightly across her thigh. “My.. oh yeah! Well, I uh.. I actually work at the theater downtown. Like the big one that hosts a lot of the big musicals for Dayton. I’m one of their head lighting technicians. Which is pretty cool. I get to meet a lot of the big acts that come through and they’ve also been contracting me out to doing the other events in town. It’s actually been a really cool opportunity. Which actually started for me in school too. Had you been in anything I might have heard of?” He inquired, trying to steer the conversation in a way that would give Callie at least the hint of a break. 

She needed that. The feeling of the chair moving, Calum’s hand around her waist, then against her thigh. A reminder. This was hers, this bond. No matter how this went she got to leave this building with someone who made her so happy.  Everything else was just white noise. Callie lets herself lean into him, doesn’t care what her mother thinks of it, she needs proximity, she needs him to stabilize her. 

“Head lighting tech,” Marjorie let out a whistle. “I was more into set design but I had so much respect for the lighting techs. It’s your job to make sure the audience’s eyes go where they need to.” She shrugs a shoulder at his question and Callie feels some vindication. Marjorie still isn’t big on sharing details. Because she’d erased them all. She hadn’t had the imagination that her daughter did, the ability to make up new details to fill in the old. “A lot of the common school musicals; Jekyll and Hyde, Into the Woods, Music Man, Annie.”

The waitress stops by to request their drinks and Callie shamelessly follows up Marjorie and Calum’s water orders with a wish for a dirty martini. And oh she feels her mother’s disapproval immediately. There’s a shift on her face, steel in her glaze, daring the woman to say something as she grabs for the menu. 

“It’s a little early, don’t you think?” Her mother is that type. That type that can take out an entire bottle of wine with dinner but calls anyone who drinks before 5 a lush. It’s all about timing. It’s all about appearance. 

“Well mom, you sent me to fix my brain, not my liver. Pick your battles, isn’t that the sentiment?”  Callie’s voice is ice cracking under weight, it is icebergs colliding. Marjorie puffs up and there’s that anger in the shoulders. “I was hoping it would be a bit of a domino affect. You clean up one part of the house and it inspires you to want to handle the other messes as well.”

Ah yes. There it was. The reminder that she was a mess. The comparison that somehow Marjorie herself was less broken, less messy, less fucked up by life itself. “Well I don’t know what to tell you, Marjorie, maybe you better get your money back from Gavin. Go onto his pinterest board and tell him he’s doing a shit job. Or are you trying to tell me that I’m the one doing a shit job? Because last time I checked there’s no right or wrong therapy and we’re all just flailing our way through it.”

[callieforsytherp]

nicothatcher‌:

After a few months of living there it still didn’t always feel like he really knew many people. The ones he did, well, he wasn’t entirely certain he’d be able to recognize them with their clothes on. Or in the daylight. Maybe he’d been drinking too much lately but that was a thought for a different time. Mostly, when his head wasn’t pounding and making him want to knock out loud mouth in the other aisle.

“Where’s the damn aspirin?” He ground out, recognizing he was more than a little on edge. It might’ve had something to do with the bender he’d gone on but after a call from his ex-wife and his dad in the same day.. it’d been too much. The fuckers were always after him about something, grow up - get a job - do something with your life. It was a never ending stream of negativity that frankly, he didn’t have the time for.

Not because he really had anything else going on but as he’d assured his dad, he’d be getting a job soon. A real one. Doing what, he hadn’t figured that out but damn. Adulting was hard. For someone who felt like they’d done a lot of grown up things from an early age he recognized he wasn’t very mature. Wasn’t very ‘adult like’. Nico wasn’t sure what was so wrong with that, though. His dad was the most mature person he knew and also the most boring so what did that tell you? Exactly.

“Okay listen, listen, I will concede to your edit notes on Chapter 8 and 12, but I’m gonna fight for chapter 3. At least for now. Please, Trish, just trust me. If we get to the next draft and you still feel like it could be cut then I’ll do it, but I really think it’s all gonna click.” Callie uses her shoulder to keep the phone pressed to her ear as she heads down the chip aisle, tossing chips, and popcorn, and candy into her cart. Editing is her least favorite part of the writing process, and she’d planned to spend the night smoking and munching with Calum till her head cleared. It could get so easy to lose yourself in the swirl of critiques. And of course she valued the process, trusted and respected the people helping her make this book. But sometimes you had to step away and shut it all off and remind yourself what story it was you wanted to write to begin with.

Finally she hung up, dancing through the aisles getting supplies in case she partied a little too hard tonight and regretted it in the morning. The query about aspirin had her turning her head, letting out a soft “Psssst,” to the male. “I got the last two bottles on the shelf, pain relivers go like candy in a town like this. But lucky for you I’m feeling kind today.” She reached into her cart to fish one of the aforementioned bottles out, handing it to him. “May I strongly recommend you pair this with some gatorade or pedia light? Gotta get you those electrolytes.”

[daniellecamp]

[callieforsytherp]

realalecchance‌:

When Alec got Wilbur, he was not prepared for what was to come with owning a pet duck. In fact, it was just Jonny handing it to him and saying they were dads. And of course, Alec fell in love with the little guy. He and Jonny took care of Wilbur together but since Jonny had left, it has been a little hard for Alec to keep the duck under control all by himself. It didn’t help that now he has some many other animals to get into mischief with. 

He nodded to Callie, “I think you’re probably right.” His eyes watched as the dog and and duck ran around the room, toilet paper wrapped around them. “Crackers would never dare! You are definitely grounded, mister!” He said sternly to the duck, looking at him tauntingly. Not like he understood what was happening or why it was so bad to do. “Okay, you go grab a treat, I’ll keep them contained.” He slowly, trying to not get the animals to panic, walked around to close the doors to their bedrooms so they had no where to run.

She’s decided she likes having Alec as a roommate. He’s quiet, but not afraid to socialize when asked. He gives Calum company but now he’s close enough that Callie can demand drive-by affection when she needs it without worrying he’s keeping him from a boy’s day out. And he’s apparently also pretty decent around red level alert animal situations like this one.

The sounds of him closing the doors hit her ears as she scrambles to the animal food pantry. It’s a makeshift metal shelf she’d ordered online, and they’d learned real fast that everything needed to go in glass containers that Crackers couldn’t chew a hole through. Both Blue and Wilber stop when the sound of little peanut butter filled treats hitting glass and each other resonate. The thing she hadn’t thought through was that now she had Wilbur, Blue, Moose, Kevin Bacon, and Sir Woolington at her feet, an eager cacophony of noise as each animal demanded a treat.  “Fuck I didn’t think this through,” she murmured to Alec. She’d wanted to do a you grab one I grab one thing, but Sir Woolington and Kevin Bacon were bigger, and they were blocking her way. “Can you grab them both, Alec???”

[callieforsytherp]

teehill‌:

At least he could consider himself lucky over something. His car seemed to be falling to pieces and he got stuck on the side of the road but at least he didn’t ruin everything with the only mechanic in Dayton. Now he just needed to be careful not to do the same with any other mechanics he would be calling the next morning. Tee took out his phone and handed it to the girl so she could put in her number. It was a relief that his offer was accepted as it meant he wouldn’t have to owe anyone anything. He really didn’t like it when he was indebted to someone and couldn’t really make it up to them. “I’m Tee by the way. Figured I should introduce myself considering you helped me out and we’re sharing phone numbers now.” 

Her fingers fly over the screen as she punches in her number. It’s the first time she’s really ever given her real contact information to a new person. It was the first time she’d willingly left herself open to future socialization. “Hi Tee, glad I could help you out. Thank you in advance for the coffee. I’m on deadline right now and I’m pretty much made 70 percent of lattes.” She hands him his phone back with a smile, wants to remember to thank Calum for this moment when she gets home. Because he’s the reason for every good moment she’s capable of having. “I’m Callie. Get home safe okay. My schedule is flexible so text me about the coffee anytime. Don’t like, go out of your way inconveniencing yourself.”

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

She was going to marry him. That was part of what this was for. In part, for them to see each other again, to reconnect, to have this moment, and another because he’d wanted this chance to speak to her before going into this. To maybe possibly get her blessing as the person who was going to spend the rest of his life, loving and caring for her daughter. “You don’t need to thank me for this baby. You deserve the opportunity for her to see you happy.” He reminded her as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, bringing it to his lips one last time as they headed towards the entrance. “I’m not letting go. Not now not ever.” He assured her as he pulled the door open for her to make her way in. He could feel her hand tightening whether she noticed it or not as he followed her line of vision and ended up standing in front of a table with a woman who’s appearance strikingly resembled Callie’s. Could sense an immediate tension on both ends as he waited a beat for one of them to say something. Hearing his girlfriends name roll off the older woman’s tongue was strangely foreign and was followed up by an equally as foreign greeting from Callie. When she brought the attention back to him it took everything in his power not to kiss her fingers again. Not to try and soothe her the way he normally would when she gripped his hand the way she was. 

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” He said aloud just the way he’d practiced at least a dozen times. He was slow to step forward, not wanting to come off as rushed or too eager as he offered her the hand that wasn’t holding Callie’s. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” He added, unsure if that was a good thing to add or not, considering the tales Callie had shared. Calum licked his lips, taking in a deep breath, before pulling the chair out for his girlfriend to sit and taking a seat for himself. “And I don’t think I can take all the credit. Gavin is like a therapeutic genius. He can churn out Pinterest worthy quotes faster than you can pin em to your corkboard.” He teased as he looked between them as if any amount of joking could ease some of the tension. At least with sitting, he was able to properly squeeze Callie’s hand again, letting his fingers gently brush against her palm as he offered her a small grin. “How was your journey out here? Where were you coming in from again?” 

Callie can’t help the half smile. Oh he’s laying it on thick, boyish charm and the sunlight hitting those curls just right. When Calum Goodrich wants to be impressive, really truly wants it, he’s an artist. Marjorie has never been called ma’am in her life, Callie is sure of that, and the surprise is written all over her face. She’d only met contacts of Callie’s post preteens once or twice, and they were normally drunk, high, scowling and out of it and disrespectful. Sometimes doubly so on Callie’s angry command. “Funny you mention Pinterest,” Marjorie murmured with the beginning cracks of a smile on her features. “That’s how I found him. He literally has pinterest boards full of quotes that link back to his website.” For a while there Callie had forgotten how much therapy wasn’t her plan to begin with. Calum had helped her claim it, carved it out in a shape that felt like home. But she’s jarringly reminded that her mother had blackmailed her into it.

Thank god for the pressure of Calum’s hand. She takes a steadying breath because already bite sized explosive syllables of anger are tingling against the tip of her tongue. “Colorado,” her mother was answering. “Haven’t taken a road trip since I was a teen, but it was a lovely drive. I was...happy to be invited.”

The end words are said with a glance in Callie’s direction, this little twinge of expectation and what does this woman expect to be given? Cookies for finally acting like she gave a damn? A gold trophy for finally bullying her daughter into becoming the “perfect” kid she’d always wanted. Marjorie’s husband had failed her, the fact that Callie had failed her as well had always been rubbed in her face during 1am screaming matches in the hallway. 

She can’t not say it. She can’t.

“And did Gavin suggest anyone to you mother?” she queried with a tilt of her head. “Because...it might seem overtly hypocritical for me to get forced into therapy while you continue to avoid it.”

It’s been years but she still knows her mother’s face. Anger doesn’t read in her eyes or in her mouth. It’s usually in her shoulders, the way they seem to sharpen as she lifts her posture. Callie is waiting for that to happen but it doesn’t. “I’ve been in therapy for the past ten years,” Marjorie finally answers. “That’s why I pushed you so hard, Callie. Because...it was starting to help me. It was starting to work. And I wanted that for you too.”

A little gurgle of shame has Callie looking down at her lap. “Oh. Calum, you should tell my mom about your work. She was...she was really big in drama club and stage crew and lighting when she was in school.”

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

Calum had seen it in her eyes back in the room the pure experience of fear she was having and oh how he wanted to take her back to bed and love it out of her. A part of him experiencing the guilt that came with wanting this. Grant it he’d have talked to the woman alone if Callie would have it, but he was also fairly certain that this was just as important for her. Knew that it was a part of her life that was worth facing. Knowing that if he’d have the opportunity, eventually he may have wanted to take it too. He’d liked the fact that part of her was still comfortable being silly with him as she swatted him on the ass. His natural reaction being suppressed as he climbed back in the car and allowed his hand to be taken. “You don’t have to baby. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. You have my word.” He assured her again, bringing her fingers to his lips to kiss each of them as he always did before starting up the car to pull it out of their lot. He let her talk it out as he started driving, his thumb rubbing lightly at the back of her hand to try and soothe the anxiety he felt rolling off of her. “That might be the worst-case scenario for today. But even if that is the case, you’re right. It ends with us coming home and I’ll spend all night with you and the next day we figure out our wedding.” He added as he gave her a look. “And also, you wouldn’t have to do any begging. I went out and picked up ice cream last night. I knew today was going to be stressful. I wanted to make sure you were comfortable when we got home.” This was something Calum had been thinking about and preparing himself for a while and that included the little details. 

He took his time driving them there. He wanted to get them there at least a little early, so that if she needed time to sit and talk things out she could, but he kept her hand close to him the entire drive. At each light he made a point to kiss her fingers again, giving her a look to ensure her that everything was going to be okay until they pulled into the parking lot and he could shut off the car. “Whatever way this goes, I just want you to be completely aware that nothing she says changes who you are Cal. The person I see you as, and the person hopefully that you know you are. She can’t change that. This is to give her a chance to see just how incredibly you’ve done for yourself. Anything less than that I won’t stand for.” He mused as he leaned over and pressed his lips lightly to her shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.” An added promise as he used her hand to pull her in close and wrap his arms around her once more, pressing his lips against her cheek a few more times. 

She would have cried if she hadn’t made the mistake of forgoing waterproof mascara for this. Calum was...he was the balm to her soul, he was everything, he was the answer to equations she hadn’t even discovered  yet. Ice cream already in the fridge, his lips pressing sweet warm medicine into her skin every time he lifted her fingers to his mouth. He could erase all her nervous energy, all her fear. No one was that powerful and things like this weren’t meant to be erased to begin with. They were meant to be battled, and Cal was giving her a sword and shield in the form of his physical and emotional presence. “I am gonna marry the fuck out of you,” she whispered when the car stopped. “I am going to spend every second for the rest of our lives thanking you for this moment. For all the moments you’ve given me that have changed my whole world, my whole sense of self.” She closes her eyes as he kisses her shoulder, her cheeks, tilts his face towards hers so she can gain a final taste of courage from his lips. “You’re right, it’s going to be okay.” Even if the moment went sour, the day, it would be okay. He was right. It would end, it would be a moment and then they would go home to their safe space and make it okay again.

There’s a decisive finality in the way she undoes her seat belt. A wordless battle cry. Her shield and her sword, her entire army at the ready is soon by her side as they get out of the car, Callie taking his hand again. “Just don’t let me go so I don’t spiral, okay?” The thing is she knew she didn’t have to ask him. He would always hold her hand through anything. 

They’ve been to this restaurant before, but it suddenly feels foreign and imposing. She refuses to look at her reflection in the glass door for fear she’d lose herself fussing over every hair seemingly out of place. There’s no tinkling bell when they enter, and Callie is grateful for that, squeezing his hand as she spots her mother already seated at a table. “Here we go,” she whispers, leading the way, trying to be brave. Marjorie has the same green eyes, but they are worn with age, crows feet beginning at the corners. Her eyebrows are fuller, hair just a hint of grey at the roots, a softer chocolate brown than Callie’s. They size each other up for a full 20 seconds, mother and daughter, trying to find familiarity in faces that have grown and changed over the years.

“Callie.”

Marjorie’s voice has a lower timber than Callie’s. It’s unsteady and a little quivery at the end.

“Hi Mom.” Two pairs of green eyes turn to Calum at the same time, and Callie squeezes his hand again. “Mom this is my Calum. He’s...well, the reason I’m still in therapy, the reason you haven’t had to bail me out of jail in a while. Calum, this is Marjorie.”

[callieforsytherp]

realdylanadams‌:

A smirk grew on Dylan’s lips at the comment of the night they had spent together. They had run into each other a few times since then and she wasn’t blind to the fact that something had changed in the girl. She still didn’t have a name for her but the imagine of her trembling under her would forever be burned into her mind. “Maybe we should do it again, no need for bottom shelf piss beer, you know I only have top shelf.” With a smile, Dylan walked over to the door and held it open so the girl could go in with her. “Oh for sure, there’s not a doubt in my mind that people weren’t leaving half naked. An earring isn’t going to be the only thing lost in here.” She let the door fall closed behind them, her eyes falling upon the mess that littered the room. “Jesus, animals,” her tone was more playful and proud than anger. It only looked like this because people enjoyed themselves. This was Dayton, if you didn’t have a huge mess to clean up after a party, you were doing it wrong. “I think we’re going to need that drink first before we do anything. Don’t you agree?

Callie didn’t regret the night she’d spent with Dylan. Fuck the woman was practically a celebrity in this town, she’d won cool points for fingering her to orgasm in the time it took for them to get up to her penthouse. “The drink I could definitely do anytime. But unfortunately the rest of it...my boyfriend wouldn’t be too down with it, and I kind of like him an absurd amount. He um, he works here.”  She hopes turning it down doesn’t make the woman mad, doesn’t hurt her or hurt Calum’s employment. Their dalliance was what she’d needed at that point in her life but it definitely wasn’t something she wanted to get back to Cal. A whistle echoes in the empty space as Callie surveys the mess. “Do you have hazmat suites for this because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so many different kinds of bodily fluid in one space.” This...this would take longer than she anticipated, which meant she’d need to text Calum. “Oh I absolutely agree. Some liquid courage first.”

[callieforsytherp]

teehill‌:

Tee watched as she left to go get what she needed and allowed himself a moment to calm down and relax. The thought that he might have to spend the rest of the night in his useless car was getting him all sorts of wound up so he used the short waiting time to remind himself it was all good and he was going to be able to get back home after all. “I think I might have to take you up on your offer”, he said after she was done filling up his car. “I might have already called the mechanic in my phone and I did everything you said I should not do so I don’t think he’ll be very happy if I call him again”, he admitted with a grimace. No matter how much he said he would stop picking up arguments whenever he was annoyed, he never really followed through with it. It was going to get him in trouble someday. “Thanks again for your help. Can I offer you a coffee or something one of these days? It’s the least I can do.” 

“Yiiiiiiikes bucko,” she murmured with a grimace when he confessed to calling the mechanic and doing everything wrong. “You’re just lucky Dayton is big enough that you have other mechanic options. The one time I lost my shit on the phone with a mechanic I was in a small town where that was the only option.” She shuddered at the memory. Callie turned to eye him as he offered her coffee. Which...actually sounded perfect. When had she turned into a coffee drinker? “Sure. Let me give you my number, you can let me know when you’re free and we can meet up at The Grind. I’m there a lot if I need to write somewhere that isn’t my house or my office.”

[callieforsytherp]

calgoodie‌:

She had a way about her that could still be so silly, playful, and energetic when she was nervous that made it hard to remember that this was a moment he was meant to be comforting her, not trying to take her to bed. “Maybe if we were kept in separate rooms. Are you trying to go four hours without me?” Calum teased as he grabbed for her hand that was smacking his chest to bring each of her fingers to his lips. “I may or may not have gotten a little carried away a time or two with you but I will be dead in the ground before confessing to a crime of passion with Santa.” He added firmly as his confusion regarding what the hell stockings were read clearly on his face. Calum watched as she prepared herself, repeating what he’d asked her to say, and he’d have been lying if he said the confident that rolled off her tongue hadn’t turned him on just a little. “You can say that again.” He hummed as he followed her out and down to the car.

Cal smiled to himself as he watched her waiting for him, pulling his key out to unlock before pulling open the door for her. “I have no problems driving, but we have to behave on the way there gorgeous you hear me?” He mused as he allowed himself to be pulled in for that kiss. One that already had him doubting what he’d just said. “I love you too.” Cal cooed as he pressed her back just a bit against the car, his fingers cupping her face between them as he kissed her yet again, this time taking his time and letting it deepen. “Or maybe not totally behave.. but we have to at least make it there alive.” He requested, kissing her one last time before backing away to climb in on the other side and threw the key into the ignition. 

If she’d wanted to she could have had them both undressed and back in bed. It would have taken little effort, she might have done it on accident if she weren’t so aware of how important this lunch was. Important because no matter how it went it would let Calum seal his intentions, it would let them start on their path towards the life they wanted to build together. But god it was hard....oh god the Santa comment almost had her going for his belt buckle. “Not those kinds of stockings, baby,” she educated softly. “The things I wear on my leg. Sheer, different colors, sometimes they kind of look like netting. Sometimes I take them off for you very slowly, other times you rip them off with your teeth. Those stockings.”

Behaving on the way there. They could...they could do that? They could do that. Callie nods in response. “I’ll be on my best behavior.” And no soonder does she promise he’s pressing her against the car and kissing her dizzy. “Listen if you want me to behave you have got to stop tempting me so develishly.” She gave his ass a swat before she got into the car, waiting for him to settle next to her. “I really wouldn’t be able to do this without you, Cal. I hope you know that.” Her mind flutters with nerves as the car takes off. Is she overdressed, is she underdressed, she wants to asks him if he’s sure this looks okay on her. Instead she claims his hand again, squeezes it like the life support it is. “Okay,” she breaths out, closing her eyes and tilting her head back. “What’s the worst case scenario? It’s uncomfortable, she’s disappointing, I scream awful things at her or she screams awful things at me and I cry and then we leave. That’s...a not fun scene but...I can live with it. Cause I would get to go home with you and curl up and be safe and loved and beg you to bring me ice cream. The worst case scenario is nothing, it’s a blip, we can crush it like that spider that was under the coffee table yesterday.”

[callieforsytherp]