its my dad’s birthday. we are out at an italian restaurant, and we are having a good time.
but then i feel the depression come over me. i feel myself slowing down. i find it harder and harder to laugh or smile. i feel really really tired and i jsut dont want to do anything. i leave in the middle of dinner and go sit outside in the cold for 30 mins before i realize i left my hoodie inside, and its freezing outside- but i dont care. i cant bring myself to care. the terrible mood lingers for hours, all the way home and into the next day. i cant sleep, i havent eaten, i cant do anything but sit in the dark and cry. my friends, some of them, try to get me to go on and play games with them, they try to cheer me up. they know whats going on but they either dont care enough or dont know how to help me fix it and so the longer i say no or ignore them they leave. and i just feel so worthless and wasted and pointless and alone…
and this scares me…
why is this happening to me?
I miss you so much and I hope you get better. Love you
