Hey kids

Hi there! I'm Sam! Nice to meet you! Now that introductions are out of the way, feel free to enjoy my blog!

[divertirme-deactivated20160620]

*dies trying to hit the high notes in Chandelier*

[stefon-rneyers]

[callmeblueroses]

this is me if i met hozier except there would also be tears

[contraception-deactivated202011]

a support group for people who started saying YAAAAAAS ironically and now can’t stop

[ka1to-remade-deactivated2019081]

[emilyblunts]

Smile until you feel better. I call it Kimmying.

[tastefullyoffensive]

When you’re having a bad day and you just want to be a loaf. (vine by mochi the pug/via msmonsterkitties)

[firebreathingeli]

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

[mordication]

i do bite my thumb, sir

[firebreathingeli]

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

[mordication]

is the law on our side if i say ay?

[firebreathingeli]

No

[mordication]

no, sir, i do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir

[firebreathingeli]

Do you quarrel, sir?

[mordication]

quarrel, sir? no sir

if you do, sir, i am for you: i serve as good a man as you

[firebreathingeli]

No better

[mordication]

well, sir

[firebreathingeli]

DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR?

[mordication]

DOST THOU THINK THOU CAN FUCKING TAKE ME, BRO?

[firebreathingeli]

DOST THOU EVEN HOIST? OUT TO THE COURT YARD, WITH HASTE.  

[classannalampost]

The Shakespeare fandom is out of control

[callmeblueroses]

[callmeblueroses]

If I could gift one thing to Lin-Manuel Miranda 

[obviousplant]

I added this fake health brochure about Donald Trump to a doctor’s waiting room

[comedycentralstandup]

Your Joke of the Day from Josh Rabinowitz. http://on.cc.com/1F6zOvC

[loversdreamersandyou]

[jenniferbarkley-deactivated2015]

2.23 / 5.14

[callmeblueroses]

OOOH THE FEELINGS

[robertdeniro]

[fookinalexturner]

You've heard of the Arctic Monkeys now get ready for

Waiting 3 fucking years for an album

[callmeblueroses]

preach

[500daysofeffyou-deactivated2017]

SpongeBob, where’s my order?

Did you look under the tray?

Oh. No I didn’t, sorry.

[absoluteshiiit-deactivated20160]

I’m really boring if I’m not comfortable with you

[ego-x-archived]

The realest thing you will ever need to know about me.

[callmeblueroses]

I can physically feel the extremity of my boringness when I’m uncomfortable.