Elves have pointy ears. So do Hobbits (well in fanon and the films but go with me; sure didn't we already give them tails sometimes?)
Elves ears, rather like most humans', are fairly stiff and just stick out from their heads. Hobbits' ears, however, can move!
• They launch straight up when alarmed.
• Droop all the back and down when they're sad.
• Perk up and forward when happy or excited.
• Fold down when they're embarrassed or ashamed.
• Go all floppy when they're tired, or bored, or simply not feeling great.
• Go stiff against the sides of their heads when they're scared, or in pain.
• They also go stiff and point backwards when they're angry.
• Neutral Hobbitish ear position, is roughly pointing to 2 (if you think of the point of their ear as the hour hand of a clock, and you're looking at them in profile), and semi-stiff like human ears.
Imagine the Company and The Fellowship's non-Hobbittish companions noticing this. For my own little explorations of that: read on!
**
Gandalf, who's practically known Hobbits since the very first Hobbit, knows how to read their ears and thinks it's yet another charming Hobbittish quirk.
I think Aragron would've noticed straight away, and privately thinks it's rather interesting but never comments on it. He probably, at first, doesn't completely understand what the ear positions signal. But he works it out pretty quickly from their other ways of emoting, and his knowledge of animals, especially horses.
Legolas, has noticed it sometimes, and doesn't understand even when he does.
Gimli, probably heard about it from Gloin. He doesn't really know what most of them signal, but thinks it's rather funny when the hobbits ears go all floppy when they're sleepy.
Boromir thinks it's just the cutest thing in the world!
"The little ones are very cute, when their ears do that, aren't they?" he says to Aragorn, as they watch Pippin and Gandalf argue. Having been called a "fool" yet again the hobbit's ears drooped and folded down as he sulked off back to Merry.
"Hey! I heard that!" the little one says, rounding on Boromir, his ears sticking straight back in his annoyance. "I'm 28, I'll have you know! I'm not a cute little faunt!"
"Well, you're hardly fully grown!" Merry responds, his ears pricking forward at the opportunity to tease his friend.
"Old enough to be on this Quest!"
"Only 'cause I'm here to look after you!"
"You're not looking after me! If anything it's me who's minding you!"
Both their ears are pointing up and forward now, slightly limp at the top, as they easily joke and tease one another. Boromir watches on, with a similar look on his face to one who's watching kittens play-fight.
**
The Company, at first hardly notice. Ori's the first one. One evening, early in the quest he asked: "Why do your ears do that?"
"Do what?" Bilbo answered, the tips of his ears going limp in confusion.
"That!"
The Hobbit reached up to feel his ears. "I don't think my ears are doing anything unusual, thank you very much."
"But they move!"
"Yes. Don't dwarves' ears move?"
"Mine do!" said Kíli excitedly from his other side. The dwarf moved back his hair and wiggled his ear, only very slightly.
"I'd hardly call that movement," the Hobbit replied.
"Well, go on then, do better!"
If you imagine the Hobbit's face in profile, and the point of his ear is the hour hand, the Hobbit rotated his ear all the way from 11 to 5, and proceeded to bring it back to 12 and touch the bottom of his earlobe with its pointy tip.
"Wow," said Kíli.
"Weird," said Fíli.
"But why do they do that?" Ori asked again.
"Why do your lips curl into a smile? Or contort into a grimace?" the Hobbit answered simply.
"So your ears move with your emotions?"
"Pretty much, yes."
"So then what does that mean? Like look! They've gone pointing up and back a bit."
"Oh, well I think that's just a neutral expression."
There was a sudden sound behind them, it turned out to be nothing more than a bird squaking.
"Does directly upward mean surprise?" Ori asked, noticing that the Hobbits ears had done just that at the sound.
"I suppose so, yes."
"Facinating!"
The rest of the Company start to notice the more they talk to their hobbit. They think it's simply hilarious when his ears grumpily flop, or angrily point backwards (though, once they learn of the Hobbit's true potential for ferocity, they learn to be cautious of stiff, backwards pointing hobbit ears.)
Also, here's an idea for a potential misunderstanding fic in an everyone lives, Bilbo stays in Erebor AU: For most of the journey the Hobbit was either hungry, or exhausted, or terrified, or uncomfortable, or in pain, or some combination of the above. And so, his ears tended to be signalling just that, when he wasn't bothered to pretend otherwise.
At some point the rest of the Company had had it explained to them that Hobbit's ears signal their emotions, they just hadn't had the specifics explained. So, naturally, they assume that droopy, floppy ears must be the neutral, rather than infact the sign of an uncomfortable hobbit. So now, when he's comfortable, fed, rested, and not fearing anything and his ears signal his contentment (by pointing to 2, but slightly limp) they accidentally interpret this contentment as meaning something else. Some think it might be some sort of trauma response from the aftermath of their journey, others think it's the is a sign of an uncomfortable hobbit, others still wonder if it's a sign of waning health.
Thorin, if you want this to be a Bagginsheild thing, thinks that it's a sign of mistrust or even fear. You see, whenever the hobbit is around him his ears go up and back into that position. Thorin fears that, after the whole ramparts snafu, his One is now scared of him! Rather than, as it turns out, it's just a show of the Hobbit's contentment.
The Company decide to question their hobbit, they'd hate to be the ones making him stay if he was truly unhappy with them under the Mountain. This only gets them cheerful smiles and a declaration that "no, no, I'm fine, perfectly happy, thank you!" It takes a full on explanation before they believe him about it, but in the end they're glad it was just a misunderstanding.
Thank you. Write some fics or draw some art based off these ideas all you like!
There are few things Ents do in haste. It is tradition after strong storms to gather all the fallen flowers—since it is a waste for them to wilt and fade so needlessly without one last use—and decorate themselves with them. The younger and less tree-like shepherds even go so far as to wind them into wreaths for the oldest who can no longer move.
thanks to @sharpestsatire for a challenging prompt and a new headcanon!
do you ever think about the fact that legolas was probably the one who had to tell elrond that aragorn and arwen had passed when he got to valinor and just. cry a bit.
The fact that Arwen, a half-elf from Rivendell, became the Queen of an entire kingdom of Men isn’t discussed enough. That is such a big deal to be a queen and I want to know what that was like for her. Did she feel ready to rule a kingdom with Aragorn? Did she have natural leadership qualities and tendencies that Tolkien never bothered to show us? Was she inspired by her grandmother and hoping to rule a land of her own someday? Did she actually even like the idea of being a queen or did she feel she had no choice but to be a queen if her father was to approve the marriage? Prior to meeting Aragorn, was she ever inclined, on her own terms, to be some kind of leader? To associate more with Men and their culture? To shoulder enormous burdens of responsibility in her life? And we don’t even know if she’d ever even seen Gondor before her wedding day. How did she feel moving into a brand new permanent home, so far away from her old home and everything she knew? Did she ever get homesick? Had she been hoping for a big change like this? Did she ever get sick of her royal duties and wish she was back in the woods? How did she and Aragorn keep this from damaging their marriage?
Somebody please tell me you’ve thought about this too….!
aragorn wasn’t the one to hide his feeling, he’d fight for his love without a doubt, but there was just something about you that made him… shy?
he would be just unable to tell you straight up what he feels, maybe it was cause of his previous love encounters? (i love arwen the diva i’m sorryyy)
but he would sure show his love through his actions. he was overall a kind and caring person, but to you he would do extra.
you’re hungry? he gives away his food to you; you’re tired? he demands a break and if it’s not possible, he’d carry you; you’re hurt? he is there in the spawn of few seconds to help you.
on top of that, he’d let you braid flowers into his hair and would not take them out for the whole day
LEGOLAS
(human!reader) legolas doesn’t really know how he should express his love for you in the right way. you’re a human, you’re ways are different than his ways.
but he dose his best to show it to you, since saying it just like that seems a bit too… forward for him. he’s worried that it’ll scare you away.
it’s the little things he dose. barely visible yet so loving.
he’s always be your side, talking or not, he has to bake sure you’re okay at all times. he protects you of course if anything happens; and he sure teaches you how to use a bow so you could protect yourself if he can’t be there.
FRODO
he won’t tell you how he feels because the ring and the mission needs his whole focus right now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t appreciate you
at first it was him not wanting to take you with him to mordor, you were just too precious to him, he could not afford to loose you.
but later on you were one of the only comfort he could have at such moment of his life, and he let you know it. tho… he wouldn’t straight up showing its love speaking, he’ll focused first on the ring, he had to, as much as he just wanted to have you in his embrace and tell you how he feels.
but what was different about you than the others was that he had never doubted you. nit once would he believe that you’d take the ring from him no matter how loudly the ring screamed in his mind that you would
you were what kept him sane, and every time he said “you’re my peace” he really meant “i love you”
SAM
sam was shy, like… really shy when it came to expressing such feelings like life
this man would probably never get the courage to tell you straight up how he feels because he’d worry too much that you’ll reject his big, loving heart
but he could not keep the love for you inside him either, always being there around you, sometimes just watching, sometimes talking…
“hey y/n i’ve seen those pretty flowers on my walk today, thought they’d match your flower collection” he’d say shyly, holding the flowers in his hands. he already remembered to bring the, with the roots, so you could plant them in your pretty flower garden.
he’d act like he found them on the accident, where the reality is he’d been walking for hours just to find a perfect set of those favourite flowers of yours
BOROMIR
this man is protective. he’d always be near you to make sure you’re okay, warm and feeling safe.
he’d be there if you need a cost, he’d be there if you need saving because orcs attacked you
he’d always put your life before himself, for which he got already a few reprimands from you, but he payed them no mind, saying that you’re just important for the sake of the fellowship’s mission “i can’t loose you y/n, i mean we can’t. you’re an important piece of the mission”
but in reality he’d mean you’re important, but to his heart, his love and his life
you cannot count how many times had he put you behind him at any minor danger, “just cause he worries if you won’t need it” and he’d always would get so scared when you act braver than his worries can take. which is actually any act of bravery, because he just cannot loose you.
FARAMIR
the way he looks at you when you tell him about something. oh man. he might not directly act on his feelings, but his eyes are mirrors to his heart
he’d be able to listen to you for hours, days even. months. and all he’d do would be look at you with those love filled eyes.
he’d ask questions to know more about what your saying, foes the topic i rest him or nit. and he remembers what you say forever.
he’d even quote your words back to you later on, whoever you say something that you’ve said before, no matter how much time passed
“so to press the flowers—” you’d try to explain to him “you put them into your favourite book so they’d suck in the beauty of its words, yeah i remember” he chuckled, quoting your little joke from few months ago
ARWEN
shed craft for you a lot, and it would be made with love. was it a pendant, a bracelet, anything that comes to her mind, even as simple as flower wreath
she’d always be by your side, saying she just loves spending time with her dear best friend, but you’re more than that to her, she just doesn’t know how to… express that she loves you, a beautiful woman
“all the stars shine brightly, but some shine even brighter when they’re besides each other” she’d tell you one day, those words being her “i love you” towards you
she touches you a lot, is it brushing her hand through your hair, or just putting her soft hand on your shoulder… her touches always linger a bit longer than platonic ones would
I personally adore the fact that Boromir is the only "normal guy" in the entire fellowship, and therefore is the only one that ages at a normal pace.
So all I can imagine is Boromir having literally no clue how old the others are, and being entirely confused and shocked when he finds out. The rest of the fellowship do not look their true ages, and they definitely don't act them. Like,
Gandalf: looks sixty/seventy something, is actually 2,000+(who even knows anymore) fights like a freaking boss with the spryness of a 20 year old.
Legolas: looks mid twenties, is actually 2,931 years old, acts like a little kid on an exciting vacation who is also a prince, and knows he's got power and is just having fun(it's not an act, that's really just him)
Aragorn: looks late twenties/early thirties, is actually 87, is the most mature out of the bunch and is the only one who acts like the actual adult he is.(Very tired dad vibes trying to corral his wild children)
Gimli: looks mid thirties/early forties, is actually 139. Fair, honestly, he acts mature most times like Aragorn.(Unless there's elves involved, and then he bad-mouths them like a teenage mean girl)
Frodo: looks late teens, is actually 50, acts like an annoyed and completely done-with-everyones-antics mid-western dad.(He and Aragorn sit around shaking their heads looking at each other just like "I'm so freaking tired man" "I know man, me too')
Sam: looks early twenties, is actually 38.(Probably the only one that looks approximate to his true age) and acts like a golden retriever, who will also be terrifyingly protective when necessary(don't touch mister Frodo, you will get concussed by an iron skillet)
Pippin: looks early twenties, is 28(doesn't count as looking his age) because he acts like a five year old boy, with zero self-preservation skills.
Merry: looks early twenties, is actually 36. No better than Pippin in this regard, because he is the yin to pip's yang, the tweedle-dee to pip's tweedle-dumb, the other person that shares pip's single braincell if you will.
And so Boromir is just flabbergasted that he is closer to the age of two hobbits he was sure were literal children, than Aragorn who he thought was his same age.
And then he realizes he called a full on 50 year old, who is ten years older than him "little one" just like:
headcanon that elves do not have a higher alcohol tolerance than humans or dwarves. Legolas, having been raised by Thranduil "Partyking" Oropherion, was already given wine as a toddler and was just fucking with Gimli
It always gets me that literally *everything* hinged on the Fellowship getting this *right.* All the battles with Morgoth, Sauron, the events of the last Three Ages and beyond.
This was the final chance.
Either they succeed. Or all those battles and all that pain was for nothing, and Middle Earth falls to darkness.
And if ME does. It’s not far fetched to assume Valinor would be next.
-
But like it was always about the value of the little people. A value which historically, most people, the Princes of the First Age most of all, didn’t really… realise.
They dragged everyone into their wars and feuds and at the end of everything, everyone suffered for it.
They were out for themselves, because *they* wanted to be kings and queens, *they* wanted revenge, *they* wanted to go back to the wilds of Endorë and doomed everyone alongside them, cajoling and convincing them until they were riled up and probably not thinking straight.
They had to be right. If the rest of their people suffered for their bad decisions… too bad. There was so much pride and arrogance across the Sindar and Noldor both that their power, the thing that made them so great became their downfall.
The people of the Third Age, men and elves and dwarves, might have been ‘diminished’ but that meant they took time to appreciate their people. It means Aragorn at the Black gate sees there are young men from Rohan who are *terrified*, and entirely genuinely without judgement, allows them to leave. It means he goes around place to place, city to city, getting to know everyone as people. Seeing their value, seeing their worth as equal to his own. And he treats them accordingly as just as important rather than making everything about him.
It’s what allows him to deceive Sauron into thinking he’s acting as his ancestors did, proud and self assured whilst the whole quest and everything he does is about helping Frodo. About making sure he succeeds.
As he tells Frodo. “Deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.” And that’s where these great heroes of the past fell short. For them, especially the elves of the First Age, everything was about valour and glory and victory. Literally Fëanor: ‘our deeds will be a matter of song until the last days of Arda.’
We needed the king who knew what it was to be a ranger, scorned despite being the only thing keeping them alive. The king who was a healer rather than a warlord. The man who only wanted his people safe, would pass all great deeds and live hated and homeless if only they could live without darkness.
The hobbits who were so pure of heart, who found joy in the little things. Even Legolas who would’ve grown up seeing Mirkwood steadily fall further and further into darkness, Spiders and orcs steadily encroaching, forcing the elves further into their last stronghold. The Dwarves who’d lost homes and knew their fortresses could only hold so long if Sauron enslaved everyone else.
All of these guys who held family and love for their people above all else. Who wanted a world free of war, who didn’t care for great deeds or ballads speaking of them. Who respected those of lesser official standing and saw them as people with opinions as valid as their own.
They just wanted their homes. They wanted their family and friends alive.
They longed for peace. Not glory or land.
And that’s where those of the First and Second Age failed.
The next story I am definitely 100% Not Writing: An Unexpected Wedding.
So: Elvish marriage is, we all know, a very simple thing that you don't need much...let's say ceremony to complete, wink-wink.
Dwarven marriages, on the other hand...! Well, let's just say that Durin's folk know how to throw a fancy shindig, yeah? Plus, there are the contracts. Oh, are there ever contracts! Can't have a marriage without proper contracts. No contract, and it's just a fling (even if lasts over a century), everybody knows that who knows anything.
And these sort of flings are lovely and can be very fulfilling, and many a dwarven family-unit has been based entirely upon such long-term flings; but without a contract to account for the merging (or not) of your crafts and your work and such, well, it's not a marriage, is it? Of course not.
So one day, Legolas discovers that while he's been calling Gimli his husband for like thirty years now, according to dwarven cultural standards, they're not actually married!
Gimli isn't bothered by this, and never has been, because everyone knows that he and Legolas are Together(tm), and he knows that elves consider the idea of a public "marriage ceremony" to be pretty weird, also. And it's not like there's any shame about these sorts of "flings" in dwarf culture, so everybody in Aglarond is content with the status-quo of having an unmarried lord who's known to be attached to a strange elf, and they respect that relationship entirely (even if most of them still find the fact that Legolas is an elf pretty odd).
(Also, Legolas is is going to live forever, while Gimli still assumes at this point that he'll be bound by a normal dwarven life-span, so of course from Legolas's perspective their relationship must inherently seem like a short-term affair, anyway, even if neither of them like talking about that fact...)
So Gimli's perfectly happy with their elvish-marriage. Lots of dwarves never get married at all, it's nbd.
Except Legolas doesn't see it that way. How unintentionally selfish of him, to have only wed Gimli according to the standards of his own culture, and not that of Gimli's people as well! He had no idea, but now that he knows, he must set about fixing it at once!
And that's the story of how the entirety of Rohan got roped-into helping a Wood-elf plan a dwarf-style wedding ceremony as a surprise for the Lord of Aglarond.
Needless to say, the "surprise" aspect of it doesn't last very long—just long enough for many and varied hijinks to ensue—which is good, because A: you can't really negotiate contracts without representatives of both parties involved and B: as well-intentioned as he is, Legolas has very little idea of what a dwarven wedding actually is or how to throw one.
But by gosh, is he going to try!!!
(Fortunately Gimli finds Legolas's earnest intentions endearing even when he's completely off-base about just about everything, so he looks at the near-debacle of what Legolas and his bewildered human assistants have done so far and declares it all to be extremely sweet.)
Even more fortunately, once he realizes that it matters to Legolas that they be wed in dwarf-fashion—because Legolas thinks it matters to Gimli—Gimli takes charge of the rest of the arrangements, which also means acquiring the help of a bunch of competent dwarven friends and advisors, now that the rest of Aglarond know what's going on much to the relief of Éomer and the Rohirrim who are now off the hook for anything but attending the resultant party.
Which is how we end up with Thranduil being invited to a dwarven marriage ceremony in the Glittering Caves of Rohan along with the entire royal family of Gondor and the elvish colony of Ithilien and a whole bunch of Hobbits.
He thinks the whole idea is ridiculous, of course (they've been married for years, everyone knows it, why are mortals so weird about this stuff?), but he goes along with it because it seems to matter to Legolas, even though Thranduil gets rather offended by the notion of signing contracts on behalf of his son, and has to be talked-down from interpreting that as a mortal insult by the combined efforts of Aragorn, Arwen, and Faramir.
But mainly he's just irritated that they couldn't have gotten their shit together earlier and done this before Bilbo left, because his Hobbit bestie loves a good party, and he's going to be so pissed in like four or five hundred years when Thranduil crosses the Sea and tells him about it.
(Also the party would have been way more fun with Bilbo there to make scathing commentary, and Thranduil is grumpy not having him in attendance. What's the point of declaring your favorite Burglar an Elf-friend if you can't pull him out for your own personal entertainment at parties!?)
Anyway the whole thing is a disaster, of course, because half the people involved don't actually understand what the fuck they're supposed to be doing or what half of it means, but.
But it's lovely, also.
And the Glittering Caves have never glittered quite so brightly as they do when Gimli and Legolas say their vows at last (even if Legolas's Khuzdul pronunciation is atrocious! fortunately Gimli finds that endearing, too, although the elder dwarves all wince terribly). Even the bright crystal casing that forms the centerpiece of the great hall, the one that Gimli spent five years carving until it was just right, the one that holds those three long golden hairs he's always waxing so euphoric about...
Well, even that shines brighter than usual, that day.
And far across the Sea, someone looks into her Mirror, and smiles.
And then Bilbo promptly elbows Celeborn out of the way so he can see, too. Why are elves all so blasted tall!
Request: Not sure if this is fic or just headcanons but: Modern!reader in middle earth who was a neurosurgeon in her old life and is now in Valinor working with Elrond to translate medical concepts to elven language before she dies and help advance their medical practice. Some differences between elven and human biology are found out in the process, it’s all quite fascinating to them both. She assists in a few operations but I imagine they don’t have many surgical operations to do in times of peace because people just aren’t getting injured like they used to during the famed battles against Morgoth and Sauron in middle earth. She helps on occasion but them elves are graceful and not injury-prone. - Anon
A/N: I was having trouble turning this into a fic, and since you gave me the option, not minding if I did a headcanon, I went with the latter. I had fun writing this, I also made their relationship ambiguous. Enjoy!
When you happen to arrive in Valinor, dazed by its eternal beauty and tranquillity, Elrond, with all his calming presence and wise demeanour was the first to greet and help you settle down. He was kind to welcome you into his new home.
During your time there, you and Elrond spend countless hours in his extensive library, trying to translate complex medical texts and concepts into Quenya, while he marvels at the intricacies of human detail in neurosurgery. To him, the ability to heal the brain by getting so practical and up close was fascinating.
“You humans certainly love your precision and details,” he would say as he smiled while reading through a description of a delicate brain surgery. You on the other hand would laugh and tell him that not all humans are so meticulous, following up your comment by sharing more medical mishaps from your world.
It is when you discover the biological differences between elves and humans, that things in the work become all the more interesting. You discover that elves’ regenerative abilities allow for healing preparations to be cut down and rushed to the healing wing, unimportant. Just knowing this, leaves you speechless as he casually mentions recovering from an injury that would have left a human incapacitated.
“So you’re telling me that you can heal from a stab wound in a matter of days?” you ask, incredulously with jealousy lingering. Elrond would simply nod along with a serene smile as he continued to translate the prewritten text on the paper you provided. “I wish I had that. Would have saved me all those trips to the ER.”
Assisting in medical practices in Valinor is rare but rewarding. Elrond’s precise, yet holistic approach to medicine complements your surgical expertise perfectly. Together, you manage to save a few elves who came in with nasty injuries, mostly from hunting trips gone bad.
As time passes, you are further blown away when Elrond teaches you their famous art of healing through song and rare herbs, enchanting your understanding of medicine. You do find the elves’ ability to enter healing trances particularly fascinating.
“So you just…sing them better? Like kumbaya and poof! Healed?!” you asked one day as you attempted to wrap your head around the concept, prompting Elrond to chuckle. “In a manner of speaking, yes.”
As time passes, your collaboration deepens both your understanding and respect for each other’s knowledge and expertise. Elrond is continually impressed but your surgical and modern techniques, while you are captivated by the elves’ natural form of advanced healing practices. This welcomed late nights in the library often turning into philosophical discussions as Elrond is thrilled by your stories of modern technology, and you are equally captivated by his tales of Middle-Earth.
You even meet a few of his family members during your stay as words of another human dwelling in Valinor. “Wait, you all fought a literal Balrog? Those fiery beasts?” you asked one evening as you sat around a table chatting with those who encountered the creature. “If you all were in my world, you could have used a fire extinguisher to put the flames out, or just douse water on them.” You leave most of them in laughter and confusion.
Due to meeting other elves beside him, you get the opportunity to practice your healing methods on them, though, they rarely allow you to since they usually appear fine even when injured. “So you couldn’t have hit your head a little harder for me to have something to examine instead of magically healing?” you disappointedly asked one of Elrond’s family members.
That has been the relationship for most of the encounters when an elf decides to come in sporting an ‘injury’. “You said you cracked your skull four days ago while hunting but I’m not seeing any injury. Do you mind if I hit you so I can have an actual injury to work with?”
Like you, even Elrond has his moments of being light-hearted, despite his dry sense of humour, when things don’t go according to plan. If the technique is too complex, he’ll jokingly say, “Of course, if all else fails, we just use magic.” Of course, you blink at him wondering if he was being serious or joking.
The partnership between you and Elrond as your work in Valinor developed certain areas of elven magical was tedious but also worthwhile. Even the relationship between you brought each other comfort and upliftment. “I suppose I’ll be remembered as the strange human who brought surgical scalpels to the Blessed Realm and threatened to beat people in their heads,” you joked.
Elrond usual response is filled with a sense of gratitude as he makes a toast in your honour. “You will be remembered as a pioneer and someone we are grateful to have encountered. I am glad you were brought here,” he fondly cheered.
Even as your time in Valinor progresses, you and Elrond continue to explore new ways to incorporate your medical practices into their elven healing. Each time an elf stops by for healing, you sometimes have to threaten them to come in with noticeable head injuries or you’d give them, while other times, you are lucky to have something to deal with. At least, during your years there, you managed to get a lot done.
hides spare pipe weed under his hat . pippin saw him do it one time. no one believes pippin.
even when he’s like- let me access my emergency stash- and pulls out a doobie from his hat. everyone’s like “woah such wizardry”
it drives pippin bonkers.
will cheat at cards, chess, checkers- has been known to enchant dice to make them weighted. again, denies
just a reminder that he canonically sleeps with eyes open. i’d also like to add that he can sleep standing up. he also does do both during long meetings sometimes.
the sleeping w eyes open particularly messes with legolas. he can’t handle prolonged eyecontact on a good day and now this wizard is staring into his soul and is only maybe conscious
sleeps on his back, stiff as a board. occasionally sits up, pauses, has a brief moment of lucidity and then goes back to bed
also sometimes talks in his sleep. in various languages. sometimes legolas is certain these languages are made up, but they’re spoken with such vigor it seems hard to believe that
you can have full conversations with him. they’re not particularly intelligent or understandable conversations but still very interesting dialogues that he does not recall in the morning. a favored topic is the inflated price of everything.
this is particularly amazing because gandalf does not pay for most things.
often things are gifted. sometimes he finds them, and keeps them as his own. more often than not he mooches off of others, and at times, has been known to take things
not steal. if you stopped him he’d give it back. but no one really has.
he just kind of. picks up something. looks at you. and walks away with it
sometimes will leave small tokens in return,, like rocks with strange runes on them or a single feather
sometimes will return the item after days, months, or years (decades, centuries)
oh i meant to give it back but then the civilization collapsed so-
he tends to favor things shaped like other things- a tea pot that is a boot, a spoon that’s shaped like a flower (evil evil EVIL) salt and pepper shakers that are little houses
also has a fascination with garden gnomes. will often take them ‘home’ as well. where do they go? who knows but they’re his now
no one knows where they go or what he does with what he acquires. a running theory is he has a secret house that no one is allowed in that’s full of weird knick-knacks
in actuality, he gives most of these things away. the garden gnomes are for tom bombadill, the weird spoons are for thranduil because he gives them to legolas and legolas HATES spoons that aren’t *spoons*
arwen is charmed by crossstich, galadriel likes weird soaps and candles, (gandalf the cheese wizard doubles as gandalf the bed bath and beyond wizard.)
saruman does not like novelty salt shakers but gandalf is convinced he does and keeps giving them to him.
on that note gandalf thinks towers are gaudy and would never have one
is very tempted to set up shop in the shire. everyone is against this idea which is why he really wants to.
Disturber Of The Peace- literally loves to uproot unsuspecting hobbits for fun
most known being the baggins, but like, he’s not above standing outside the proudfoots home with a ~mysterious~ envelope until he’s batted away with a broom or very passive aggressively dismissed
he’s like a stray cat that they need to stop feeding with adventures
there’s a list written by the thain of the shire “appropriate times to set off fireworks” . “never” and “when given explicit permission” are the only two things written. unfortunately gandalf is selectively literate
he does not, ever, know what time it is. if he does he won’t tell you-at least in a way that’s understandable to normal people
what’s the time? “it’s today” okay and when is that? “now” thanks buddy.
what times sunset? “when the moon is rising.” when’s that? “at the end of the day”
yk island time? that’s wizard time. just. no sense of any sort of time passing at all. it could be an hour or five days and he will refer to it as a minute. or vise versa. you invite him for tea on tuesday and he shows up on sunday, in the dead of night, with a hand full of seashells and covered in ash. no explanations. he leaves just as suddenly as he came, with a hermit crab in your kettle and dishes in the sink. but yeah, technically, he was there for tea on tuesday.
or arrives four weeks later because you didn’t say what tuesday.
it’s anyone’s guess, including him, what he has in his pockets. four twigs, each exactly 17 centimeters long? sure. half ball of twine wrapped around a chunk of moss? why not. three tea bags, clearly used, tied together and soaking wet. a small glass bottle with strange dust labeled “numbers”. a single tooth. reading glasses, cracked, missing a lense with a shoelace tied around the bridge. he doesn’t even wear glasses.
don’t. ever. ask him for directions. he can give you them, just. in a way that’s so alien that they’re impossible to follow
he kinda just. goes off of vibes? like if it feels like the right distance he will do with it. it’s not miles away but that sounds right
in his heart it is.
is always right. no amount of reason can convince him otherwise
at best, you’re both wrong but still. he knew it all along
rarely knows the right lyrics to things. if he’s called out he’ll just say “well in this version..” because he’s been everywhere and is ancient so no one can really argue
picks fights with a shocking large number of birds.
randomly and for seemingly no reason, in a multitude of languages most long forgotten.
i know its usually ‘gondor is so much more cultured and advanced compared to rohan’ but the rohirrim hold their horses in the highest regard so i think that not only is rohan far cleaner than gondor, they also know what soap is and aldburg has a sewer system
Can they have spicy food? (Random Tolkien characters)
Legolas- no way in hell! this elf would screech so loud Finarfin could hear it all the way in Valinor after having *slightly* spicy salsa
Aragorn- could eat a ghost pepper with no reaction
Boromir- talks a big game but is scared of wasabi
Faramir- adores spicy food. Adores all the food.
Frodo- he can handle it but he doesn’t like it
Gandalf- eats spicy food in moderation, but could handle a ghost pepper easily.
Gimli- hell yeah. This guy could eat a Carolina reaper pepper with only a little reaction.
Merry- hell yeah. He has a solid spice tolerance
Pippin- can barely eat tajin without sweating. Chugs an entire bottle of the stuff anyway
Sam- doesn’t like spicy food but can eat it in some forms.
Kili- ‘I can eat spicy food!’ *uses a small amount of wasabi* ‘AAAAAAAAAGH OH MAHAL! MY MOUTH! AAAAAGH!’
Fili- can eat spicy food. Likes spicy food.
Thorin- can eat spicy food. Likes spicy food.
Bard- can eat spicy food. Doesn’t love it but this man will eat everything
Thranduil- this bitch (affectionate) doesn’t know what mild is. Instead of salt he uses cayenne/Tajin.
Feanor- this motherfucker invented spicy food and could eat a Carolina reaper pepper with no reaction like he’s eating a damn potato chip.
Fingolfin- not as good as Feanor, but he can still handle spicy foods. Could probably handle a Carolina reaper pepper if he so chose.
Finarfin- this sweet innocent baby has never tried spicy food because feanor is a little bitch and told him that spicy food burns your throat.
Túrin- it doesn’t have any affect on him because he’s already in pain 🫠
Beleg- this sweet innocent baby (idgaf that he’s literally one of the strongest warriors in all of arda) can handle spicy food but he doesn’t like them.
