pairing: JJ Maybank x unrequited!reader
summary: loosely based on the song Why Won’t You Love Me by 5sos. JJ’s had a crush on you for as long as you can remember, but you can’t get past the pogue’s rule. (terrible summary ik im so sorry)
warnings: angst, once again. unrequinted love.
a/n: hey hey thanks for reading:) this is kinda based on my own experiences with my best friend. my friend group actually told me once that he looks at me the in a similar way to jb looking at sarah. haha i wanted to die :) but anyway, feedback is always appreciated :))
tagging some moots cause i feel like it: @ad-infinitums @obxmxybxnk @outerbankslut @calmyoaura
JJ Maybank. The only guy that made you truly feel loved, supported, wanted- you name it, JJ made you feel it. Now, from the outside looking in, anyone could assume that the two of you were in a relationship, and had been since you met.
But here’s the thing, you didn’t want a relationship with him. You wanted the friendship; you wanted a best friend you could go to anytime you just needed to talk. about boy drama, about how annoying you family was being, someones shoulder to cry on. and sure, in anyone else’s mind you could’ve been describing the perfect boyfriend.
But that’s not what you wanted with JJ.
You always saw the way he looked at you when he didn’t think you were looking. And you had perviously had countless conversations with Kie about how much JJ obviously cared.
“C’mon, Y/n, just give him a chance. He might end up being the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.” She said in a bit of a sing-song tone. “And Sarah and I have talked about it before, he looks at you with dreamy eyes.”
“No, Kie, there’s the rule. No pogue-on-pogue making,” you defended, really not wanting to get into this again.
“Rules are meant to be broken,” she said with a smirk. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only one in the group that hasn’t thought about breaking the rule. It won’t be a big deal anyway, all of us know how he feels about you. We would support you two.”
“I don’t want it.” you murmured.
You spoke up a bit more this time. “I don’t want anything with JJ. I respect our friendship too much to mess it up with some dumb relationship that might not even last. I don’t like him like that, and i’d really appreciate if everyone would stop pushing it onto me.”
Kiara just looked at you, clearly not knowing you felt this way. “I-I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that, i thought—“
“I know you did,” you sighed as you cut her off. “Everyone does, and its started to ruin any chance i have to meet someone new. And its obviously not anyone’s fault, its just— i care about JJ. I do. He’s just not what I want in a boyfriend.”
“I didn’t mean to snap at you, Kie. It’s just— he’s been hinting at it a lot more this week and i’m really not sure how to turn him down.”
“It’s cool. I can try and talk to him if you want?”
“No, no i need to do it.”
Just as you finished speaking the boys barged into The Wreck, JJ smiling brightly when he sees you sitting at the counter. You didn’t look up from your phone while Kie waved at the boys in, asking what they wanted this time.
“Just wanted to see our girls. Missed you two at the beach today.”
It was another Friday and you really just weren’t in the mood to deal with JJ’s constant pining - and you didn’t realize how late it must’ve gotten. The pogue boys would spend every Friday night here, visiting Kie during her typical shift.
JJ stepped over closer to you and kissed your cheek before taking the seat next to you. “How’re you doing, baby?”
You glanced up at Kie, practically begging for her to help you out of another uncomfortable situation with JJ’s flirting. Unfortunately for you, she was laughing at a joke Pope had told her and wasn’t even glancing in your direction. “Fine,” you said simply, hoping he might catch the hint that you didn’t want to deal with this tonight. You put your phone down and rested your head in your hand that was leaning on the counter to be more apart of your other friends conversation.
“You sure?” He spoke a bit softer this time, clearly worrying a bit about your stand offish attitude. It was rare you got this way with you friends, but you were so incredibly tired of pretending like you didn’t notice how he spoke to you, and made it his mission to be next to you whenever you were out with the group. (Which had grown to be much less since you caught on to how JJ felt)
“I’m fine, J. Drop it.” you snapped. He leaned back a bit with a slightly confused look on his face before moving his arm from the back of your chair and raising his hands up in defense. He turned his back to you to face the other three pogues in a conversation.
You stayed quieter than usual the rest of the night, laughing at jokes but not contributing much to the conversations occurring.
As dinner came to an end, all of you packed into John B’s van and headed back to his house. It was a nice night, so pope, john b and kie layed in the hammocks while you went to lay on the dock.
You laid there for half an hour looking at the stars and listening to music. You could hear your friends laughing loudly Your mind fairly empty, every so often resorting to the elephant in the room and how you would deal with it.
Just as you started to drift off, a loud creaking noise woke you up, and you knew exactly who had stepped onto the dock. Your eyes shot open and you lifted your chin up slighty to look at JJ upside down.
He slowly walked towards you, working on keeping the creaking to a minimum as you turned your music much louder and closing your eyes once again. You had a feeling you knew where this conversation was going and you truly weren’t in the mood for it.
He reached down to your stomach and grabbed your phone before stopping the music. “Back to Black, huh? Never took you as much of a Amy Winehouse gal.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Maybank.” you said softly as you sat up, looking out onto the water and taking your earbuds out.
“Can we um- can we talk?” He said abruptly. The two of you had fallen into a comfortable silence and you would be lying if you said this wasn’t the most enjoyable time you’d had with him in a while.
You nodded a bit as he continued. “How are you, really? You’ve seemed distant recently and I want you to know you can always talk to me if you need to.” He reached over to hold your hand, which you took out of his immediately pulled away from.
“I’m lonely..” you whispered, looking down at your hands.
“What? Y/n/n, you have us and all your friends and—“
“That’s not what I mean.” You could feel him looking at you now, waiting for you to continue. You knew full well that if you did this conversation would lead to him confessing which was, again, not what you wanted right now. You took a deep, shaky breath before speaking. “I want a relationship, JJ. I want someone to care for me the same way I do for them and I know its dumb, but I want to get married and get off this stupid island, or stay, whatever. As long as I’m happy. I’m 17 and i already feel like I’ve failed incredibly in the boyfriend department. And none of you get it, because Pope and Kie have each other, and JB and Sarah are the same. And you don’t care about all that crap and you meet plenty of tourons. But i don’t get that. I’ve never gotten it, and I’m starting to feel like I might not ever.” You could feel the tears welling up, but you closed your eyes for a few seconds before opening them again, hoping they would disappear.
JJ didn’t say anything, but you could feel his gaze on you. “I need to tell you something.”
He started to to let out a breathy laugh,“You don’t even know what I’m going to say—“
“I do,” You said with noticeable venom on your tongue. “I see the way you look at me. I’ve talked to Kiara. I know. and I hate to do this because you know how much I care about you, but I want something different. I don’t want to ruin this great friendship we have. You’ve my best friend and I don’t want us to ruin this.”
“We could make it work…” he said softly.
How do you respond to this? How do you tell your best friend it won’t work? You’d dont feel the same way. You don’t look at him and have your heart flutter, or have your stomach erupt into butterflies. How do you tell him he’s not what you want.
“There’s a rule for a reason, JJ.”
“C’mon, you’ve always been one on break rules.” He said nudging slightly, and you could basically hear him smiling as he spoke.
“I don’t love you like that, JJ.” you sighed out, finally looking at him. “You won’t understand, I know, but i do love you, J. I always want you in my life, just not romantically. I’m sorry.”
He wiggled his eyebrows a bit, trying to make light of the situation. “Sexually?”
You removed his hand from your lap, before standing up. “I’m sorry, JJ. Ill see you tomorrow.”
As you made your way towards the hammocks you could feel the other three pogues eyes on you. They were quickly looking from you, to JJ repeatedly. “I told him,” you said to kie when you got into hearing range.
“I take it it didn’t go well?”
You shook your head before speaking, “I said what I needed to say. He got the message, but I don’t think he took it lightly.” She nodded and you turned back around to look at the blonde boy who was already walking towards you. You quickly turned back to the pogues before adding, “Im gonna head home.”
“Do you need a ride?” John B asked. You shook your head before walking through the trees and heading down the gravel driveway. You could hear your friends classic boots as he walked towards you.
“Hey..” he said, but you kept walking. You said what needed to be said and there really wasn’t anything else you wanted to talk about with him anymore. “I really— honestly I don’t know what to say, but, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start treating you like my girlfriend when you didn’t want that. I should’ve said something earlier.”
“It’s okay.” Your walking had slowed, but you still hadn’t turned around and he was slightly jogging to catch up.
“I’m glad we’re friends.”
This time you stopped, you turned around and hugged him tightly. “I am too.” You whispered.
The two of you stood there for a few more moments before you let go. “Best friends?”
And with that, the two of you turned around and headed home, a soft smile gracing your lips. JJ on the other hand, had just had his heart ripped in half, and then handed to him on a silver platter.
As he entered the chateau, he immediately grabbed a few beers from the cooler on the porch and headed to the guest room, laying down.
A girl had never made him cry before, but here he was, feeling like he lost everything he wanted, while you felt like everything was the way it was supposed to be.
You imagine when you close your eyes
You’re with me on the other side
So why won’t you love me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tagging some moots cause i feel like it: @ad-infinitums @obxmxybxnk @outerbankslut @calmyoaura
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