Cal on Tour

Guitarist in Scholars, Venue Toilet & Shower critic.

[calontour]

Loo Review - Bristol, Curtis' House

Door - Check Lock - Check Seat - Check Roll - Check

With added Shower and Bath!

Curtis King is an absolute dude and we stayed with him in Bristol, and as a request, i’m doing a Loo Review for his place.

He shares a house with a bunch of other guys so its a classic student accommodation. To be honest, the toilet is in far better nic than when I lived in my Uni house. We didn’t have a seat for starters. Toilet worked perfectly, loo roll was provided within easy reach and all in all, pleasant experience. The shower was good, took me a minute to find that shower head setting where it really gets past my hair and down to me scalp, but the temperature was perfect for the whole shower.

Pretty spacious aswell!

Fairy lights and scented candles will have made my experience a far greater one, but hey, if I got that in every bathroom, I'd start to get bored.

3.5!

[scholarstheband]

We went to the cheese-rolling hill and it was helluva steep

[calontour]

Band in a van. Man...

[calontour]

Loo Review - Bournemouth, The Anvil

Door - Check Lock - Upstairs Yes, Downstairs No Seat - Check Roll - Upstairs No, Didn't bother checking Downstairs

This looked like a real cool toilet. Nice dark tiles and nice lighting. The cubical was its own little room but had no lock. Shame.

The upstairs cubical was more like a little shed inside a toilet. Pretty Cool although I had to text everyone I knew in the venue to bring me loo roll.

The ladies seemed to be the opposite this time round. It was plain white tiling and looked much more dirty than the mens.

2/5

[calontour]

Loo Review - Corby, Zombie Hut

Door - Check Lock - Nope... Seat - Check Roll - Didn't bother looking.

This seemed to be a classic venue toilet. Not really looked after, treated like men treat venue toilets and smelt quite a bit. Hand dryer was pretty good though. And well lit.

Urinals where fine, standard mens urinal. No Dividers though.

The ladies where much more like a school/library style toilet. Clean, Blue and well looked after.

2/5. The ladies saved it.

[calontour]

Loo Review - Hereford, Victory

I must apologise for missing quite a few Toilets on this Tour. I'm slacking!!

Anyway

Door - Check Lock - Check Seat - Check Roll - Check

This was a classic Pub so had a classic Pub toilet. I couldn't check the ladies as there where indeed ladies present during Soundcheck.

It was pleasant and averagely comfortable, nothing particularly pleasing to the eye though. Hand dryer was strong and warm and the taps ran well.

Someone had written 'Shred Perry' on the door which i found quite amusing. I later found out Shred Perry was a local Grind-core band. Oh Hereford.

A solid 3/5

[calontour]

Loo Review - Birmingham, Sunflower Lounge

Door - Check Lock - Check Seat - Check Roll - Check

This is the best toilet so far. Lovely colours, lovely light, great tile work, and the best private experience yet. Once the door was locked shut you where in a small but uplifting space. A bit like an emergency pod floating back home to Earth! It didn't smell and there was plenty of roll.

Urinals - Bog standard metal troth, no separators and as the whole room was quite small it could get very cosy for urinators. There was even a nice little bin under the Hand Dryer.

Slightly on the small side, but great toilet. 4.5/5

Cx

[calontour]

Band in an Elevator, Rockin' it up when I'm goin' down.

[calontour]

Door - Check Lock - Nope Seat - Check Roll - Minimal

This is a classic example of your average venue loo. A door the size of a chav's miniskirt. No lock, minimal loo roll if any, and always smelling pretty rank. Both Cubicals!! I lied a bit though. This one smelt alright. I had to spend the whole of my experience holding the door closed with either my hand or knee, this made for a very uncomfortable experience. The door was a little too high to keep closed with my foot and low enough for anyone to pop their head over to inspect my activities. Not the most pleasant of shits. This toilet was painted green.

Urinals - There were plenty of them and they had separators so you were given enough personal space and couldn't accidentally glance at your toilet buddies item. They were however blocked.

Ladies - The Ladies was much smaller than the mens, with only two cubicles and 2 sinks. The mirror was rather lovely though and the toilet was painted in my favourite shade of red.

1.5/5

Cx

[calontour]

Where's Cal.

[calontour]

Loo Review - Plymouth, White Rabbit

Name change happily stolen from Tim from Oh Captive.

Door - … I'm not really sure this big piece of cardboard counts as a door, but it works… Lock - Check Seat - Check Roll - Check

Now as I said, i'm not really sure a door exists in this cubicle. Its more of a big slab of painted cardboard which needs a bit of brute force to get closed. Once locked though, you're set. This cubicles loo roll dispenser is covered in various band stickers, which makes for good "in-flight" entertainment. This particular loo was rather dark and smelt like your average public toilet and generally didn't seem to be treated well by its customers. The sink only had one working tap which was partially obstructed by the condom machine, also dressed in band stickers, and the hand dryer was placed in the tightest spot between the cubical and urinals so in a busy environment, your walking outta there with wet hands my friend, unless you like being urinated on. This is also one of the coldest toilets i've ever sat my bare cheeks upon.

Urinals - The Urinals were tight, filled with urinal cakes and metal… not much else to say.

Ladies - The ladies seemed to be equally as odorous and covered in stickers as the mens and didn't seem to be treated any better. Much like the mens, the condom machine was caked in band stickers. No treats here.

I didn't want to spend too much time in there. No amount of Bejewled could have kept me glued to that toilet seat. 2/5

Cx

[calontour]

Toilet Review - Penzance, Studio Bar

Door - Check Lock - Check Seat - Check Roll - Check

Now there is only one toilet for both the Men and Ladies in this venue, but thats ok as the venue is only just big enough to hold a small immediate family get together. It, much like Bristol, gave you almost complete privacy as it was basically its own small room. There was plenty of loo roll and hand wash and the view from the seat was pretty sweet too (A poster with out beautiful faces on it). It even smelt fresh!

The only downside was that as this was the only toilet in the venue, queues inevitably built up rather quickly. It was well looked after and decor was extremely basic, but hey, its a toilet.

A solid 4/5

[calontour]

Gorgeous day in Bideford yesterday. Today is looking the same. I'll still wear my Canada hat though.

[calontour]

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

My Guitar, not sure which one. That's like trying to choose a favourite child.

[calontour]

Toilet Review - Bideford, Palladium Club

Door - Check Lock - Check Seat - Check Roll - Check

Cubical - Although not as private and spacious as Bristols 'The Stag and Hounds,' it was still quite a pleasant experience. There was plenty of loo roll and I liked the colour.

Urinals - However pleasant the Cubical experience was, the Urinals really let this venue down. The floor was wet, especially under the urinal closest in fron tof the door. The third Urinal along is far to close to the hand dryer and sink and washing your hands in this room when there is more than yourself in there is hard! There is also an nice amount of damp. Hard to avoid I know.

Ladies - The ladies, as small as it looks, seems to be much nicer than the Mens, and the walls are painted with a lovely tree and what looks like a park.

All in all, 3/5

Cx

[calontour]

The interior of our temporary home. It's as porn as you like!!

[calontour]

Toilet Review - Bristol, The Stag and Hounds

Door - Check Lock - Check Seat - Check Roll - Check!

Once inside, I felt like I was in my own secure bubble, no gap between the door and frame and walls all around. Complete privacy! The tiles and wall had been graffiti’d, however some had been painted over (The pen still bled through.)

All in all, it was an averagely enjoyable experience, I wouldn’t mind returning. - 4/5

Cx