Where he stood (Bucky Barnes)
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Summary: Giving away the shield leads to more than Bucky and Y/n being angry at Sam, but leading to unsaid things and hidden feelings. ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS.
"Sam, how could you? How could you do this?“ Y/n was not happy, following after the man as he walked away from her, not wanting to hear it. "Do not ignore me Wilson” she cried, following closer behind him now as he tried to tune her out. Sam was sick and tired of hearing it.
"God damn it Y/n" Sam spoke angrily, coming to a stop and finally turning to face her, finally looking her in the eyes. “I had to” he replied.
"That shield was Steve’s! then HE gave it to you. He gave it to you Sam! You can’t-“ She huffed a breath in anger as she tried to find the words to say "you can’t just give it away”
"It’s done now Y/n.“ He grit out through clenched teeth. "Now leave it, I’ve got more important things to do"
"More important things to do? What’s more important than this? Than some wanna be captain America taking Steves place, taking Steve’s shield! Why aren’t you even bothered by this? It should be Steve there!” She was getting worked up now.
"Yeah- well if you hadn’t noticed y/n, Steve’s not here and he’s not coming back" he knew it was harsh to say, especially to her after how delicate the subject normally was, but he didn’t have the time and he already felt bad enough.
"Sam" the angry voice of a new person now echoed around the room. Sam rolled his eyes, he really couldn’t deal with one angry person, but now Bucky had decided to also pay him a visit.
“Bucky” Sam spoke “long time no see"
"How could you?” Bucky asked, seething in anger, his eyes glowering in hatred, jaw clenched extremely tightly as he stared him down. “you had no right”
"I’m not dealing with this now, from either of you" Sam grit out. It was only then that Bucky realised he wasn’t the only one there. He was taken aback when his eyes landed on her, y/n.
"Y/n" Bucky spoke quietly in surprise.
Sam cocked an eyebrow at the way they were staring at each other.
"Bucky" she said politely before looking back to Sam.
They hadn’t seen each other since that night. A night of heartbreak when they both couldn’t find the words to say after Steve had left them earlier that week. Instead they spoke through their bodies, allowing each other to take the pain away, the pain of Bucky losing his best friend when he had only just gotten him back. And Y/n, the pain of losing the man she was in love with, who chose a life he had always dreamed of over her.
She had left in the morning, watching the soldier sleep peacefully next to her, a white sheet as pure as snow doing little to cover his naked body from her view. She had decided she couldn’t be vulnerable to anyone anymore. Especially not another super soldier.
"You need to get it back" y/n spoke to him, Sam only turning back to walk away from her. Both her and Bucky followed him either side, both hounding him with questions
"Shut up" Sam finally raised his voice.
“You didn’t think that this wasn’t hard for me? It was. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but I did it and it’s done, now end of"
"No. It’s not end of” Bucky spoke distressed.
Y/n assessed the situation, Sam looked really tired and Bucky looked intensely angry. Nothing good was going to come out of this, constant arguing back and forth.
“okay guys, let’s just stop and talk this out without getting any more angrier” she said putting on her calmest voice and trying to breathe through her nose to push back how she was really feeling.
“there’s nothing to talk about Y/n” Sam sighed deeply. “I’ve got things to do”
“well… we will come with you then” she spoke.
“no”
“Barnes?” she spoke, eyes glancing over to him for a silent cry of help, he seemed to understand exactly what she was thinking and how she was thinking. He alway could with her.
“we’re coming with you” he spoke, voice less angry now.
——————————————————————————–
it was silently awkward on the jet. None of them saying anything, it had been a while since they had all seen each other, even longer for Y/n who hadn’t had contact with either of them since a few weeks after Steve left for good.
Y/n hated the tension but hated small talk even more, she couldn’t find the words to say, opening her mouth every couple of minutes to speak, but deciding against it.
Bucky watched her in slight amusement while still managing to send glares Sam’s way.
“I can’t take this” Sam said staring at Bucky. “You look like you’re trying to kill me with your eyes.”
“I am” Bucky replied bluntly.
“great” he spoke. “and you?” he asked directing his gaze towards Y/n who shrugged.
“it crossed my mind” she said.
“Nice” he spoke “so I’m stuck here with two assassins who both are thinking of murdering me. I feel so safe” he smiled sarcastically.
“why did you do it?” she asked genuinely.
Sam sighed, staring at her with complete honestly.
“It didn’t belong to me. It didn’t feel right” he said, but he couldn’t meet her eyes, neither Bucky’s.
“He gave it to you for a reason” Y/n said, slightly bitter.
“where have you been?” Sam directed the questions at her now. She had fully disappeared off the face of the earth on that fateful day, to only show up out of the blue and somehow knowing exactly where to find him.
“around” she shrugged brushing it off. “just trying to live a normal life”
Bucky scoffed, chuckling under his breath. She narrowed her eyes at him in irritation.
“something to say?” she asked.
“you’ll never live a normal life” he said giving her a stare so plain it almost hurt.
“I’ve realised” she huffed in annoyance at the fact.
She realised the minute she turned her TV on and saw a knock off Captain America, proudly holding a shield on live television. She had tried so hard to forget about Steve, forget about her life but it was impossible, of course it was, she couldn’t believe she ever thought she could move on.
She remembered seething in anger, teary eyes watching this stranger grip Steve’s shield. She had run to the bathroom to throw up, the overwhelming rush of emotions was too much. She wasn’t ready to move on just yet.
She sat in silence again, listening to Bucky and Sam bicker. She stared at the side of the super soldiers face, her thoughts drifting to the last time she saw him.
“make me forget” she whispered “please”
“I’ll always make you forget” he promised, brushing a stray hair from her face, thumb catching the tear from the corner of her eyes before it had a chance to fall.
As if Bucky knew what she was thinking he turned to meet her eyes, an unreadable emotion on his face.
Why did it have to be Steve that brought them back together, he thought. How could he ever be honest about how he felt when she would never be over him.
“so you’re still going on missions?” Y/n spoke up, directing the question very obviously at Sam. She had no idea what Bucky was doing but she had kept tabs on all the Avengers whose files were easily accessible.
Bucky’s file had nothing on his previous where about or job.
Sam nodded, passing her a phone with a video already pulled up on screen. She pressed play watching as a group of people were running from the police, it zeroed in on a particular muscular looking person, Y/n gasping as she saw him throw a police officer into a lamp post with extreme force.
“super soldiers?” she gasped, looking up at Sam before glancing to Bucky with wide eyes.
“super soldiers?” Sam spoke as if he hadn’t considered the possibility.
“I uh- this person is built exactly like one” she spoke almost embarrassed. She had experience with not only one, but two super soldiers, she knew exactly how they were built.
Bucky blushed slightly, his thoughts going back to that night like hers had just minutes ago.
Soft hands grabbed gently at his shoulders, exploring a path down his scarred arm, he shivered, easily manhandling her onto her back as his weight pressed down against her, lips pressed softly to the skin of her neck as his body melded to her own.
“Bucky”
He often found his thoughts drifting back to that night. Sometimes when he was having trouble sleeping he tried to remember every single little detail and word whispered intimately into his ear and it calmed him down.
——————————————————————————–
Y/n had no idea how a simple intended talk to Sam ended up with her thrown back into the field, fighting alongside the stranger that tried to call himself Captain America. She hated every second, not sparing her distaste for him at all. Bucky seemed to be doing the same, even Sam had joined in with glaring at him
Y/n had caught the shield, holding it in her hand for a few seconds longer than needed before throwing it back, hitting the person next to the new Captain, it had skimmed him too just as she had intended, a small unsaid threat lingering in her glare.
Sam had disappeared, Bucky too, she thought maybe this would be a great time to take the shield and run but he had caught on, overly suspicious of her from the start, the man standing in a suit not made for him threw the shield at her hitting her straight in the side as she fell from the moving truck.
Bucky heard a scream, watching as she fell off the side of the truck, without thought he jumped after her, catching her in his arms and turning them so she fell onto him when they hit the ground; he winced briefly before checking she was okay.
“I’m going to kill him” she spoke angrily trying to get up but Bucky held her down, arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her close as she thrashed around.
“shhh”
“that smug son of a bitc-”
“calm down” he soothed, but she carried on kicking at him.
“let go of me”
“doll” he spoke and she froze before she stopped resisting completely.
Bucky let out a breath of air and relaxed too, mindlessly running his hand up and down her back to calm her more.
Her mind once again drifting to somewhere else.
Buckys hand trailed gently down her naked body, soothing over the dips of her collar bones before skimming the side of her ribs, a soft soothing pattern that lulled her to sleep, her breathing evening out.
“sweet dreams doll”
“there you are” Sam’s voice was loud as he ran to them out of breath.
Y/n stood up, shoulders squared as she glared at him.
“did you see what that son of a bitch did?”
“who? Bucky?” Sam asked confused.
“no, that asshole” she huffed “he hit me- he hit me with the shield”
“look” he sighed “we’re in the ass end of nowhere right now, lets go find somewhere to sleep and figure out a plan, its getting dark” Sam tried to reason, Y/n knew it was a pleads because he was extremely tired.
“no. I’m going to find him and -”
“Y/n” Bucky spoke, a stern tone reminding her of the voice Steve used to use when she stepped out of line on the field, her heart lurched painfully as she gave in following behind the two men who had started to walk along a dirt trail of road.
Part 2 anyone? I have some good ideas for some more bits that will be more exciting
