What now? - Epilogue
Cameron Dallas fanfic - Sequel to I’m not that kind of girl
Word count: 3'190
Previous Chapter
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7 years later
„Auntie!“ She yelled running towards me. „Aww look at you, Angel. You grew up so fast! You are so tall! What did they give you to eat?“ I embraced her in a hug. She giggled in response. „I missed you, Auntie.“ She mumbled into my neck. I picked her up and carried her over to Sam and Ethan. „I missed you too my little Angel. And of course, I’ve missed my two best friends.“ I put Angel down and hugged Sam and Ethan.
„You look good!“ Sam squealed. „Does that mean any other time I didn’t?“ I playfully glared at her. „Meh…“ Was her response. „So before we do anything. I want to bring my bags back to your place and tomorrow I got to go visit my parents, alright?“ They all nodded and we headed to their car. I was holding Angel by the hand as she told me all about what has been going on in her kindergarten. I was glad that she was enjoying herself. I was glad that I had this little bundle of joy in my life.
„So tell us Y/N, how was Singapore?“ Ethan prompted. „It was so much fun. The job was great. I think the agency might prolong my contract.“ I grinned. „That’s great! Where’s your next job?“ Sam asked excited. „Actually here, well in LA but you get the picture. I’ll be here for half a year!“ I explained. „That’s even better maybe you’ll be here when-“ Sam started exchanging a moment with Ethan who nodded smiling. „When I give birth to our second baby!“ She exclaimed.
I shrieked out of surprise and awkwardly tried to hug Sam from my seat behind hers. „That’s amazing! How far along are you? Three months? Oh my god is it gonna be a boy? Or do you want another girl?“ I blabbed on. „We don’t know the gender yet. But we’re having a party tonight with everyone. But it’s no gender reveal we’re not that bad, you know.“ We laughed and I turned to see Angel pouting.
„Aren’t you excited Angel? You’re gonna be a big sister.“ I lightly pinched her cheek. She shrugged and I let her be, she was probably tired. So I turned back to Sam and Ethan. „So a party huh?“ I chirped. „Yeah, bunch of people are gonna be there and don’t worry, your bedroom is all ready so when you feel like you’ve had enough just head upstairs to the guest room reserved all for you.“ Sam smiled at me while I nodded.
It’s been a while since I’ve been in California. I’ve been busy but the main reason being.. well, I tried to stay away as much as possible. Of course I regularly visited my family and occasionally Sam and Ethan but I’ve missed out on a lot of stuff. I couldn’t attend Kian and Greg’s wedding which was a shame, who would want to miss the gay ex-boyfriend’s wedding. But I did get to go to Will and Sarah’s wedding, that was years ago though. Everyone seemed to be getting serious about life while I felt stuck. I was as content as I could be, with my job, with my situation. But sometimes… you just feel like everyone is passing by you in life.
I came to terms with everything that has happened and accepted things the way they were. In the beginning Sam often told me that he was asking for me. Telling her, that my number was disconnected, that he had tried to reach me. But she hasn’t mentioned him in a while now. I hope his career was successful or still is. I hope he has found someone. Someone he was happy with. Maybe even started a family. He deserved that.
I haven’t been looking into his life. I tried to forget about him. Tried to block him out of my life and I did successfully. I was preoccupied with my job anyway. Working for a small but successful photography agency had its perks. I travelled a lot in the past years. But now I would be here until New Years. My thoughts were interrupted when the car came to halt in front of Sam and Ethan’s house. They had this perfect little life going on and I felt proud of them. They got their shit together. I got out of the car and got my luggage out of the trunk, carrying it upstairs to the guest room. When I got downstairs Ethan and Sam were discussing something in a hushed tone. „Am I interrupting something?“ I timidly asked. „No! No, of course not. Are you hungry? The party starts in an hour or so. If you can’t wait until then feel free to get something from the fridge.“ Ethan immediately rambled. I laughed a little. „It’s alright. Thank you guys again. You know… for letting me stay.“ I smiled.
I smiled a lot when I was around them. I laughed a lot when I was with them. It was different from when I was alone. I used to cry, a lot, especially after their wedding. It was hard back then. It was and still is difficult. I learnt to deal with it. It wasn’t a biggie. I suppressed every emotion after a while, until it just felt normal.
„Y/N can I talk to you for a second?“ Sam said pulling me out of my thoughts. I nodded waiting for her to continue. „Let’s go to the kitchen.* She pulled me by my hand and I felt slightly taken aback. I sat down on one of those bar stools leaning against the counter top. „Sooo…“ She started. „So?“ I questioned back. „Have you been on any dates lately?“ She grinned from ear to ear with a curious twinkle in her eyes. I immediately shook my head. „I told you I don’t have time for such things.“ I exaggeratedly breathed out.
„Oh come on! You’re turning like 29 next year. And you always wanted to get married and have kids, right? So why aren’t you putting in any effort?“ She frowned at me but something about the speech didn’t sound genuine enough. Something about her told me that she was glad. Something told me she knew what was coming for me before I knew. „I never believed in marriage anyway.“ I shrugged it off hoping she’d let it go. „And kids-wise we already know that’s not happening.“
Just as she was about to speak, loud knocking and Ethan’s steps interrupted her. „I’ll go see who it is.“ I nodded lightly and quietly chewed on my lips. She had a point. I did want kids at one point. I did want the perfect little family with a beach house because I loved the beach. But that never happened and probably won’t because of my circumstances.
„I’m glad to see you too!“ I heard Sam talk at the entrance. I had yet to hear the newcomer. „Where is my little Angel?“ And that’s when I was just about ready to fume. She’s my little Angel! I huffed. Of course she would do this. It wouldn’t be Sam’s party if she wouldn’t at least try to fuck me over, right? I slowly got up from the bar stool and moved over to the door way to get a good view of the scenery before me.
Angel hopped down the stairs and right into his arms. She was like a feather in his hands. It looked like no effort at all when he picked her up and threw her up in the air making her giggle. „I missed you Cammy.“ She snuggled into his neck. „I missed you too, my little Angel.“ He lightly kissed her forehead. „Mommy this day is amazing!“ She suddenly exclaimed. Sam and Ethan raised their eyebrows looking at her with gentle smiles.
„How so, Angie?“ Ethan asked hair as he pulled Sam into his side. „First Auntie came! And now Cammy!“ She threw her arms up and Cameron finally let her go. He frowned confused with which Auntie she was talking about. „I didn’t know your sister would be here. I thought she was on a business trip, right?“ I furrowed my eyebrows. Why was he so invested into the whereabouts of Ethan’s sister?
„Oh she doesn’t mean her actual Aunt, you know.“ This made Cameron frown even deeper. „Who else would she talk about?“ He tried to play it off by a light chuckle. That’s when I suddenly felt a small hand tugging at my leg trying to pull me towards the group. „Auntie!! Look who’s here!“ Wide eyed looks greeted me. I waved slightly. „Hi, nice to see you again.“ I brought out.
„Oh god, I totally forgot that I had to - uhh - I…“ Sam began to stammer while she picked up Angel. „The thing! Of course how could we ever forget about that! Let’s - uhh - take care of that right now.“ Ethan continued and pushed Sam towards the kitchen closing the sliding door behind them.
„Wow, that didn’t seem planned at all.“ I said after quite the awkward silence. With a chuckle he said his first words to me. „Yeah, sure didn’t.“ He observed me. His eyes bore into every little detail about me. He inspected my clothes, my hair, my face. As did I with him. He looked older, more mature. A casual two-day beard and some tiny wrinkles slowly forming. Time was taking its toll on him as well. His hair was short on the sides, just how he always liked it. He kept his hands in his pockets as if he didn’t know any better use for them. He was sporting a casual look, slightly ripped, washed-out jeans and a dark grey t-shirt.
„You look good.“ He commented. I nodded. „Thank you, you don’t look bad yourself.“ He chuckled lightly. There was this slight shimmer in his eyes, it had something nostalgic. „Haven’t seen you since…“ He started. „Yeah.“ I simply finished. I didn’t want to go back on that, I didn’t want to bring up old pain that I have so well suppressed. „Wow.“ He sighed.
„So how’s everything?“ I tried to be casual act as if things were normal. We broke up seven years ago for fuck’s sake, well, I broke up. „Good, good. Could be better though.“ There, the twinkle intensified. „How are things for you? Did you finish your studies?“ I nodded quite proudly. „I did. I work here now. Well I will.“ I couldn’t help but smile a little as did he. „I see.“ He nodded in response.
„You seem close with Angel.“ I commented mindlessly. I didn’t really know what to talk about. „Yeah, I try to be here as often as possible, with Ethan and Sam, you know. Somehow Angel got me wrapped around her little finger. I wish I had a kid like her.“ I chuckled. „Yeah, her name may be Angel but the way she wraps everyone around her tiny little fingers reminds me of the devil.“ We both quietly laughed at that.
„I heard you are her favorite auntie?“ He chuckled. I nodded yet again. „As I said, she got everyone wrapped around her finger. I don’t even know why she takes on me. I’m barely ever here.“ I look over to the still closed kitchen doors. „Should we, like, go sit in the living room? I’m kind of getting tired of standing here.“ I point towards the living room. „Yeah sure.“ He held out his arm as if to say ‚go ahead‘ and I did.
We sat down at opposite ends of the couch quietly observing each other again. We didn’t say much because there simply was nothing to say anymore. „I see you kept it.“ Cameron quietly whispered, finally breaking the silence between us again. He pointed to my necklace. „Oh, uhh - I…“ I trailed off. I didn’t know how to answer. It was the only thing that I had left that reminded me of him. „I’m glad that you still have it.“ He smiled gently. „It looks too expensive to be thrown away, you know.“ I lightly chuckled as did he.
„So.“ He started. „So?“ I questioned. „You came here for the party?“ I nodded slowly. „Yeah. I guess you did too, huh?“ He shrugged. „I’m kind of surprised you didn’t bring a date or anything.“ I chuckled trying to cover up my weird rambling/ questioning. „I don’t really bring dates to important stuff…“ He trailed off. „It makes no sense. Gives them a feeling of belonging in my life and we don’t want that, do we?“ He sarcastically laughed at his own comment. When did he become so cynic?
„I suppose that you haven’t met someone worth while then. I’m sorry.“ I meant it. I was sorry. I wanted to make that clear. „Who said I haven’t yet?“ He accusingly frowned. „You know nothing about me Y/N.“ He shook his head. „Absolutely nothing.“
I frowned. „What is that supposed to mean?“ He shook his head and I could tell by the way he bit the inside of his cheek and didn’t look my way the slightest that he was pissed off. „Nothing… let’s just forget it, alright?“ He mumbled and I left it at that.
When people finally started to gather around the house the awkwardness between Cameron and I was covered up by the laughter and chattering. I didn’t talk to him anymore. I didn’t even look his way… or at least I tried my hardest not to. It was difficult. I couldn’t stand the way we stood in the same room on opposite sides. It felt like the tension between us never really vanished. The spark never dimmed.
At one point I slipped out into the backyard to catch some fresh air. Okay… not fresh air. I needed a cigarette and I was not proud of it. Just as I was about to light it, two fingers removed the cigarette from my mouth and broke them in half. „Didn’t know you smoked. New habit?“ He didn’t look at me as I just stood there and gawked at him. „I don’t think it’s any of your business anymore, is it?“ Now I was just being a prick. „You made sure of it, didn’t you?“ He spat back at me. We were like a bickering old couple and at this point there was no denying that I missed him. „I did it for your own good.“ I quietly whispered in hopes of him not picking up on it. „What good was it to leave me at that moment? Do you even understand how deeply in love I am with you Y/N? DO YOU?“ He began to shout which I was not expecting. My eyes widened. „Do you even understand what you put me through?“
„I thought it was best that way. I knew you wanted a family and—“ He interrupted me abruptly. „And what? Just because you are not able to birth a child doesn’t mean there’s no other way we could have had children! I thought you were smart, Y/N! What happened?!“ He was angry and after all these years, he finally could lash it all out on the person who caused his distress. „I wanted you. Nothing else mattered. We were barely legal age back then, we didn’t even consider having kids.“ Although he was furious he kept his tone low, maybe he was afraid he’d upset me.
„I’m sorry. I just thought I was a burden for the long run.“ I didn’t even look at him. I stared at my feet aching to smoke a cigarette just to calm down for a minute, to relief this stress. „I’m sorry too. I never wanted you to feel like a burden.“ His tone was now less furious, calmer. He pulled me into a hug and I instinctively buried my head in his chest. The strong muscles not going unnoticed, he felt different but yet he still felt like home. „I just wanted the best for you.“ I mumbled into his shirt as he stroke up and down my back. He sighed.
„You were the best for me. Nothing and nobody would ever be able to replace you.“ He kissed the top of my head. As much as I wanted to suppress it and ignore my feelings I couldn’t deny that I miss him, that I miss this.
We were so young and we still are. I just thought that maybe I would be able to stop the pain before it would get to me; the realization that there wouldn’t be any little Cam Cam’s of our own. Maybe it was my own insecurity of never being good enough for him, that I didn’t deserve him. But now that we were back in this embrace the world stopped spinning for a second again and it finally felt like all of this weight I’ve been carrying for years was lifted. This aching finally stopped and the day seemed brighter than before.
I think this time we’re here to stay. And if you would’ve asked me a year ago what my thirties were going to look like, I probably would’ve given a very different answer than right now, when I was in his arms. I saw a future, together, for the first time again. Life made sense again.
3 years later
As I was looking out into the yard I was amazed that we have gotten this far. Our wedding. When we were just 18, I wouldn’t have dreamed of this. But when I saw Cameron swinging Angel around, laughing like a maniac, the distinctive image I once saw years ago came back to me.
A little baby girl in Cameron’s arms. They stood in a spacious garden. She was all dressed up and he smiled at her as if she was everything he needed in life. He looked content.
Cameron came up to me grinning from ear to ear, kissing my cheek before pressing one on my lips. „I love you“ he whispered against them after they parted, and I returned the gesture, „I love you too“. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the make-shift dance floor and we twirled around for a bit. Pure serenity. And that’s how our wedding went, I kept pulling myself out and watching from the sidelines in disbelief that this actually and finally happened. I enjoyed every second of it. I watched as he hugged his bros for the thousandth time today, as he picked up Angel and swung her around in the air, as his eyes always found a way to me.
Sam came up behind me, hugging me from the side. „I haven’t seen you grin so bright in years. I am so happy for you.“ She smiled at me and I couldn’t even put into words how right she was. I was finally and eternally happy again. And if all else fails, trust that what is meant for you will always find you. One way or another.
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A/N: there you go... I finally did it... only took me like what? 5 years? lol either way... if anyone is actually reading this I hope this ending fulfills you more than the last... even though it is a bit rushy at the end but I didn't want to draw it out any longer than it already was.
So that's it... the very last about this guy I once used to stan in order to finish this very weird story.
