* F U C K *

And we learn as we age, we've learned nothing and my body still aches. And you take cause they give. Though I love you and my body it leaks like a sieve. When it got cold outside, smoke beneath the playground lights. If you're coming home, just let me know. Sucking on your breath mint, dissected and stuck with pins. A film in her eyes from the glow

[ezrasmatthew]

[cameronhclt-blog]

ixyribeiro:

“ i don’t think so, there might be some little glass fibres in there or something but nothing washing my hands won’t solve. ” she gave him a light smile as she eyed her hands to view only redness and a slight shakiness from her unexpected clumsiness from mere minutes ago. this wasn’t her, she wasn’t the type of girl to take her eye off of the ball for a second and now it was as if a new shell had formed over the girl, a shell that she was not comfortable with whatsoever so the small attempts at returning back to her usual self seemed lacklustre at best. “ i dropped a glass babe, it’s not a hostage situation. ” 

Cameron laughed awkwardly, about to attempt to run his hand over his face but stopped himself. The last thing he needed was to get scraps or bruises when he might be going soon to get a role. “I’m sorry, I’m quite a worrier about other people’s safety, it gets a little out of hand occasionally,” he said as he watched her for a second. “I’m Cameron, by the way, it’s nice to meet you,” he spoke as he thought to hold his hand out. He refrained, thinking better of accidentally giving her a cut on her hand.

[bellsrph]

Ever since growing up Hadley had never really been a people person. She always simply kept to herself and danced. She never really wanted to talk to people and no one really made an effort to speak to her. That was until she got older and she’d pick fights with people for no reason. She could, so she did. “Oh, that sucks. I know quite a few people who were in the system, kind of had it rough.” She stuck her cigarette in the ash tray outside the cafe before walking in. “Definitely more steers than queers,” she smiled softly before getting in line.

[cameronhclt-blog]

“I’m alive today,” he stated simply, happy to stub out his own cigarette before he pulled self consciously down on his jacket sleeves. It wasn’t something he wanted to be known, the way his body was scarred and decimated from a young age and haunted him into his adulthood. Looking at his body only made it harder to smile, and perhaps it was pointless after a certain point to pretend to be okay. But he was okay, for now. “Damn, there goes my idea to party there,” he spoke, happy to get in line behind her as he ran a hand through his hair.

[cameronhclt-blog]

charlesxreid:

Charles wouldn’t of been surprised if he didn’t blink while listening to each word that came from the other, not even once. He was so invested in finding out when to get those tickets. It would be something to look forward to, something good to come out of coming to New York. He was nodding after each sentence. “Thank you. Yeah, thank you, I appreciate it,” He retrieved his journal from his bag, writing at the bottom of a page about the play, just to set a reminder. Perhaps it would’ve made more sense if it were on his phone, but he was more likely to remember it through his journal instead. Charles snickered at his offer. “A bouquet of roses if you get the part or after you nail the performance?” He raised an eyebrows. The words shocked him, because he wasn’t used to being kind. But he didn’t mind, he was in a good mood.

Cameron couldn’t help but feel giddy just by someone else seeming so excited about the whole ordeal as he was. At the man’s quick scribbling of the information he was given, he couldn’t help but wonder if the man were serious about his intents to watch the play. It wasn’t much like it mattered, more so if he didn’t get the part, but he never quite met someone so adamant on wishing to attend a show. His own laugh came as he shrugged. “I would definitely prefer one for a job well done, be like a proud parent after I’ve gotten off stage and tell me I did a great job. Even if I was tone deaf the entire time,” he said with an even larger grin on his face than before. The conversation was quite light, airy and simple and perhaps that was all he wanted at the moment.

[cameronhclt-blog]

scamanderxtc:

“Good, he is just some Britt actor” Thomas explained quickly as he studied the boys movements. “they say he could be my doppelgänger but i won’t believe it until i see it myself.” he explained, ignoring the gentleman’s forward comment.

“Well, obviously you know who he is? Wouldn’t it just be easy enough to look him up and see a side by side of his face next to yours?” He asked, pulling out his phone and opening Google. “What did you say his name was? I’ve already forgotten,” he said, easily forgetting about his slightly flirtatious comment.

[cameronhclt-blog]

charlesxreid:

Charles honestly wasn’t all that invested in the conversation with the other, not until he mentioned Phantom Of The Opera, and he was suddenly snapping his head up and towards him. “Really?” His lips parted, he was gaping a little. Charles secretly loved plays like such. He enjoyed going to the fancy theaters, and oddly enough dressing up for them. The last time he went to a royal theater was to see a ballet performance which he never even imagined himself to be intrigued by but he was. “Well, I mean…good luck,” He nodded. “When is it? Do you happen to know when tickets would go on sale? I mean, I’m sure it won’t be for a while…but still,”

It didn’t seem that the conversation held much weight, almost an easy way to slide back into a reality in which he existed and the world didn’t feel as if it were closing in too much. At the man’s utterly pure curiosity and slight excitement about the musical, his own eyes perked slightly as he talked with his hands in his own excited manner. “I believe the first showing will be sometime in spring, I want to say March or April? But I am mostly coasting along in an attempt to find a show to perform in. I think the tickets should be ready for sale around late February, but of course, I could be completely wrong,” he said with a small grin on his lips as he looked at the other, adding cockily. “I’ll sneak you in for free if you promise me a bouquet of beautiful red roses for a job well done, that is, of course, if I get the part.”

[bellsrph]

Hadley walked behind the boy as he talked to her, though most of it went in one ear and out the other. It was really kind of a bad habit of hers but she had too many to count. She just had a tendency to get bored easily, especially when people talked more than she thought they should. She took another drag before rummaging through her bag making sure she had her wallet. “Why? Army brat? she asked causally as she looked at him.  “Um, I’m from Texas. Texas only.”

[cameronhclt-blog]

Cameron was used to people simply processing what he was saying for a second before it left them, the fact that he was often than not pushed to the background most of his life. The only time he felt noticed was when he acted, which was rich as he realized that he was always acting. Was it sad to say that every morning it grew harder to smile? Surely he wouldn’t tell that to the woman who would surely bore of him as fast as most do, but he still kept it in the back of his head. “No, foster system,” he said, the idea that most people had a preconception of why he moved around as slightly a pet peeve but he didn’t need sympathy, it was why he wore nothing on his sleeves. “Texas? Home of the steers and queers,” he spoke, laughing softly at his own joke.

[cameronhclt-blog]

charlesxreid:

Charles snorted, chuckling softly as he shook his head. “Mhm, we all sure do, mate,” He nodded in agreement. Charles wasn’t laughing along with just what the other said, more so to himself because he had many ‘vices’. Some that he was undoubtedly not proud of. No he didn’t smoke, and no he didn’t drink so that he had to be happy about. That list was short, if we’re to go down the list of his bad habits it would take far too long. Charles even believed that they’d go into tomorrow if he started naming them out. He felt pathetic in all honesty but he wouldn’t let it get to him. “Audition for what?” He asked curiously. “It’s not a silly thing to freak out about, everyone gets nervous about stuff like auditions- whether they’re that big of a deal or not,”

Cameron felt almost as if he was more human with the man next to him, even if the other necessarily didn’t know it. Someone who would indulge him in his conversations based off nothing but pure noise and the attempt to distract himself from the darker lurking of his mind. He was sure that the man had his own secrets, things he wouldn’t admit to for a reason or another, as they all did. “It was for Phantom of the Opera. It would’ve been great to have been casted, or at least told I had the potential to do it. Anything, truly,” he said with a large grin on his face as he tried to ignore the way his chest clenched at the idea of being denied. “I hope I get the part, I’m quite excited for it.”

[bellsrph]

“I understand that but be confident in the shit you do. Fake it until you make it,” she took the pack back with ease before putting a cigarette between her lips and lighting it. Hadley widened her eyes at his question as she took a drag. “Um, I guess so? It’s not like I have anything better to do nor do I know my way around New York at all. Uh, you from the area?’

[cameronhclt-blog]

“I know that far too much,” he said with a laugh before he took another drag of his cigarette, humming as he started to walk in the direction of the nearest coffee shop he knew of. It wasn’t very far off campus, perhaps a few hundred yards away. “I’ve moved around a lot as a kid,” he explained simply, “I’m originally from Jersey, though. I’ve been to Jersey, New York, Rhode Island. I know my way around a lot of these states about here.” He looked at her once again with a silly grin. “What about you? Where are you from?”

[bellefvck]

“I just love the cold because not just do I get to cuddle with whoever, whenever, but I get to bring out my super cute hats.”

[cameronhclt-blog]

“The only cute hat I have in my Muggle beanie. Which I’m pretty excited I can wear now without looking like a total nerd,” he said with a large grin on his lips. He was a bit of a fashionista, but more often than not he liked to downplay his wardrobe especially when it was simply going to school or to his dorm more days. “But that is quite an impressive hat,” he complimented.

[bellsrph]

Hadley nodded her simply as he gave her a thank you. She didn’t think a response was truly necessary. She understood his pain in a sense. Everyone has had a bad audition from time to time, it’s just, the two of them reacted very differently. “You’re here for a reason. You’re obviously not shitty at what you do. So I’m sure you did fine,” she muttered out, not really knowing how to comfort the boy. 

[cameronhclt-blog]

Cameron laughed as he nodded. “Yeah, you’re definitely right. I’m just always known for being a bit of a perfectionist, I can’t stand when I don’t do everything as I could do.” He offered the pack back to her, mostly for the idea of her having a smoke with him. It would make him feel slightly better. “So, now that I’ve worried myself enough, would you like a coffee or something? I’m a slut for Starbucks, but I do know a few bakeries that are pretty awesome, the least I can do for putting my problems on you,” he said with a large, hopeful smile. 

[cameronhclt-blog]

fckincass:

“I guess,” he shrugged, pulling a pack out of his back pocket. Opening the box he took one out and then offered it to him. “Need a lighter too?”

Cameron thankfully took it, shaking his head as he went to his backpack to retrieve his own small lighter. “I’m good, thank you,” he spoke, eyes looking at the man for a moment before he offered a grin. “I thought I was about to explode, I ended up smoking my entire pack by four in the morning today, didn’t have time to buy another one this morning.”

[cameronhclt-blog]

tfmrem:

“ah, i love my job too much to do that. but yeah, you’re probably right about that.”

“Thank you, I’m more often right than wrong,” he said as he stretched, standing from the table he was previously sat at. “Unless we’re talking about in bed, then I’m completely wrong. God has left me already by this point,” Cameron said simply, unfazed by the fact he was speaking to a professor. What did it matter? He’d rather spend his time setting people off than not.

[cameronhclt-blog]

hadleysinclair:

Hadley shrugged casually not really paying much thought to have the boy pay her back. It was a couple of cigarettes, nothing major. “There’s seriously like 5 left, don’t bother,” she mumbled, running her fingers through her hair. Oh god she thought. Is he going to open up to her? Is he going to get emotional? She’d rather not listen to him blubber about his life problems. “Uh audition for what exactly? You act? Sing? Dance? What?”

“Thanks,” he offered meekly, attempting to find the him that was broadcasted to the world. It was odd, to allow himself vulnerability when he wasn’t alone, but he strived to recollect himself as to not alarm her. Or annoy her. Honestly, he supposed it didn’t matter her opinion on her as he allowed the smoke to bellow out of his mouth. “All of the above, musical theatre,” he offered simply. It wasn’t her business to know everything about him, especially since she seemed disconnected from it. It wasn’t something he minded, perhaps he could appreciate it to a certain extent. “Just fucked up, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

[cameronhclt-blog]

charlesxreid:

“No, mate. I don’t smoke,” Charles answered, not bothering to look up to the male who had spoke to him. Asked him a question that made him grimace each time someone mentioned the word- he hated the idea of smoking. But he wasn’t going to be one to judge others who did- no matter how much he wanted to- because everyone had their reasons and secrets. Yeah he was curious but he’d hate it just as much if people pried up in his business. Charles pursed his lips, finally sparing a glance towards the other. He noticed immediately that he wasn’t at ease. “Something…bothering you?”

“It’s fine, I should find a better addiction, but I have quite an addictive personality. Don’t we all have vices?” He spoke, mostly to himself as he tried to settle his breathing. It was odd for him to panic outside, in the world that broke him down in the first place, he needed to put his mask back on and level his heart rate. The blood rushed past his ears, causing the other male’s question to almost fall onto deaf ears. “Just an audition I did, didn’t too quite good enough for my own standards. A bit of a silly thing to freak out about, but I’m quite the perfectionist, probably,” he spoke, because he was. When he got roles, he refused to eat or sleep until he had created his own reality within theirs, transformed his train of thought to theirs when he was rehearsing and on stage. 

[cameronhclt-blog]

ixyribeiro:

ivy gave him a small smile as a sign of her gratitude as she ran off to find some cleaning supplies for the glass, she came back momentarily with hands full as she bent down once more and began gathering the shards. “ i’ll keep that in mind. ” she kept her tone low as if way to keep her voice from cracking. the shattering of the glass might as well be a damn metaphor for how life was going for her at the moment. “ i don’t really like leaving my dorm at the moment so no going outside for me. ”

Eyes watched her, feeling the familiar tinge of panic at her own unraveling. He was the master at pretending, hiding himself in the shadows of a shell that was always better at dealing with the world around him. “You haven’t cut yourself on the glass, right?” He questioned, ignoring the way that small shards found their way into his digits, the small beads of blood rising to the surface. It didn’t matter much, his own wounds, as long as the girl was alright. He used to be the one to keep everyone else safe as a youth, it was easy to fall back into old habits. “You should probably go back to your dorm, would you like someone to walk back with you? I’d feel bad if I knew you didn’t get there safe,” he said, because it was a cruel world around them.

[cameronhclt-blog]

gtgjack:

“a wha- oh, cigarette. sorry, i don’t,” jack said, patting his own pockets just to make sure. wallet in check, phone in his back pocket, va- oh! “i have this,” he suggested, fishing a vapor pen from his pocket. “not the same thing, but maybe if you use your imagination? i can’t even use it. i only got it to learn those fun tricks from the internet. harder than it looks, lemme’ tell you.” jack looked up at the boy before him and only then took in the fidgeting and obvious discomfort in his behavior. “you okay? i can get you cigarettes, if you want. you look more like you need a drink, though.” 

The sight of the vape pen caused the constricted way of his breathing to bubble out as giggles, finding it far too comical to simply ignore it as a normal person probably would. “Holy shit, why?” He questioned, not necessarily cruelly interrogating him as to why he bothered with the vape. It was golden, especially since the boy next to him seemed so young himself. Did everyone else have a vape now? “Nah, nah, it’s okay, I’m good,” he said through another bout of laughter, trying to cover his mouth to stifle it. “I think laughing is the best medicine, isn’t it?” He asked as he let out another few stray giggles fall from pink lips.