â˘24â˘|â˘Bisexualâ˘|â˘occasional doodlerâ˘|â˘i hyper-fixate on things quite a bit but the usual things i love are manga, figurines, kaiju, and video gamesâ˘
"taken" style action movie where a man searches for his wife. as he fights baddies in gunfights and hand-to-hand combat, it's slowly revealed that:
his wife hasn't been kidnapped
their marriage is not healthy or functional
this guy isn't rescuing his wife, he's hunting her down
his wife is a crime boss, those are her henchpeople he's fighting in a john-wick bloodbath
the tension builds until, drenched in blood, our protagonist steps forward for the final showdown. he pulls a manila envelope from his bullet-torn jacket and throws it at his wife's feet. he's just spent an entire trilogy biting & killing & maiming....all so he can deliver his shit wife her divorce papers
And, for a comedic bit, I want one of the wounded/dying henchmen to just say they're a notary or something and he could have had it done in 5 minutes. And she would have known that had she bothered to get to know the people she employs.
Following up the weapon ask, the weapons themselves! not all of them are on scale because I wanted the dimensions of the canvas to remain the same for better posting purposes lmao. The Solar Sytem Senshi's weapons in the AU woo! LENGTHY FUCKING POST BELOW.
We start with Usagi/Moon as is good and proper - her first weapon is a chakram, which she summons from her tiara gem hence its similarities with it. After that she gets the Moonlight Wand, a small partially bladed item that she uses to canalize her healing powers... until Serenity hijacks her body and turns into Princess Sailor Moon, at which point the crescent becomes a short saber, turning the Wand into the Moonlight Blade. The Wand shatters after defeating Metallia and Usagi's wandless until she finally achieves her Super transformation, creating the Spiral Heart Moon Rod out of her love for everyone. She sticks with it until it evolves into the Eternal Crosier once she obtains her permanent Eternal transformation.
Then the Inners! Outside Minako, they all get their weapons upon upgrading to Super form.
Mercury creates the Harmony Shield out of her desire to protect everyone and keep the peace, taking on the form of a harp as well as it comes from her desire to truly pursue her musical inclinations instead of what she thinks her peers expect out of her.
Mars forms the Sacred Fire Bow out of a similar sentiment, with a focus on wanting to never miss her mark. The bow itself is shaped after a yumi, the style of longbow used in kyudo.
Jupiter forms the Forest Wheels, a pair of wind-and-fire wheels, in her desire to be strong enough to fight for those that can't, favoring her more melee style of combat.
Venus obtains her Charm Chain while still in her Base form, proving herself different from her past incarnation and, ironically, breaking free of her chains with it. The Charm Mic does come with Super, as she decides that her dream matters just as much as her duty, forming her own spotlight.
Earth creates her sword for similar reasons as the rest, with the added bonus of proving herself a capable Senshi protecting her own planet still standing.
Then we have Uranus, Neptune and Vulcan! Their weapons were created or obtained while in their Base forms instead of when achieving Super form. In the AU, there's only two Talismans, the sword and the mirror, which change shape depending on their wielder's desires. Haruka, focusing on the Sailor part of her name, morphs the sword into a cutlass, showing her own desire to be seen as useful and noble. Michiru, on the other hand, saw the mirror and went "But of course, such an item of great power would be a mere accessory. I am most assured in that it'll be able to aid me in melee combat, should I find myself embroiled in it." and the magic was like "GOD FINE HERE IT CAN STAB NOW" and turned the mirror itself into a reflective dagger. As for Aylin, her warhammer's pretty straightforward as far as weaponry goes.
Then we get Pluto and Mamoru, the odd ones! Pluto being Pluto, she keeps her Garnet Orb and Garnet Key Rod pretty much the same, only now it's not a Talisman, just a very powerful thing. Tuxedo Mask's first weapon, parallel to Moon's chakrams, are sunflower-shaped shuriken, used mainly to pin down and trap opponents. During the fight with Fiore, where he gets his own Super form, he creates the Sunflower Baton, which he uses mainly for defensive maneuvers more than offensive ones.
We now get to Tsubasa! she was my favorite batch lol. We start with the Cutie Moon Rod/Dark Moon Rod, used when acting as Sailor Chibimoon and "Sailor Nemesis" respectively. It's broken as the Dark Moon Rod after the death of Pluto. Then we get her first true personal weapon as Eclipse with the Heart Mace, showing her more physical inclination to fighting compared to her mom. Pegasus grants her the Kaleidoscope Sword to aid in her fight against the Dead Moon Circus, fashioned after his horn, and then after that, in her desire to have a ranged option, her power creates the Eclipse Rose Pistol, a sparkly, magical gun. Unlike Usagi, who only has her chakrams and her crosier, Tsubasa can switch around between all three of her weapons.
Last but not least, Tsubasa's crew! Chiara/Ceres gets the Spring Tact, a conductor's baton she uses to direct her magic. Paola/Pallas gets the Winter Orbs, which she can multiply ad infinitum and have a variety of uses, from aiding in her magic to just being freezing bombs. Joana/Juno gets the Autumn Daggers, a set of throwing knives which can be covered in stone for extra impact. Vera/Vesta of course then gets the Summer Whip, and she uses it accordingly. Saturn keeps her Silence Glaive as is good and proper, and then Lia/Nemesis gets the Mirror Shield, which she uses more as a canalizer for magic attacks and to deflect enemy ones.
You think Ceasar got bored towards the end? Like oooof ouch ooof okay guys yeah that's another knife, can we get a little bit of originality here? Oh, Brutus, thank Jupiter, you're-... motherfucker is that ANOTHER knife
I remember people talking about how this post was problematic because people actually get locked in basements and therefore finding this funny makes you a bad person. And I lowkey agreed
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