Cosimo Galluzzi
art blog(derogatory)
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cherry valley forever
pixel skylines
Jules of Nature
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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wallacepolsom
oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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AnasAbdin
will byers stan first human second
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
noise dept.
izzy's playlists!
Monterey Bay Aquarium
seen from United States
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seen from T1
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@canthelps
pinned !!
hi, i’m A (28, she/her, gmt). this is a 21+ multi muse selective fandomless indie focusing mainly on f/f relationships, please read rules before interacting!
edit jan 2026: currently laptop-less so unable to cut posts!
test muses under the cut
rules // about // muses // open starters
she thinks it might be okay. we both went too far. and maybe that's true. maybe they both had been going too far for a long time. andy madly in love with george blake and never saying it out loud, maybe it was too far, maybe she'd broken whatever their boundaries were but not actually saying that when george expected casual. if that was even what she still expected. everything between them felt so far from casual. but andy never dared to ask. she thinks we both went too far can be the answer they accept. but then george asks that question. words andy never wants to hear. something grips her chest so tight it gets hard to breathe. she wonders if george can tell? if it's been written on her this whole time or if it suddenly is now. she wonders if the infectious, toxic chemical death in her gut was somehow pouring out into her veins and suddenly visible. the breath she tries to take is shaky and she feels and sounds like a suffocating fish, suddenly without water. suddenly drowning in the open air. she looks george in the eye, like she can somehow answer her telepathically when the words won't come out. and finally, andy just closes her mouth and nods, one single head nod. her eyes fall away from george's, unable to actually look at her. "not... like that though," she says quietly, staring at george's knee. "it wasn't-- you're not..... it's not the same, george. you would never... be the same."
and with that, with that one almost miniscule movement, andy splinters george's heart into a million pieces. she had always been so caught up in her own shit, in her almost pathological need to be in control, that she hadn't realised the consequences of her actions. she hadn't realised that andy had her own shit too, shit that probably shouldn't be worked out with restraints and slaps and harsh words. she thinks about what andy had said, about how it wasn't the first time she had gotten like this, and george feels the guilt in the pit of her stomach spreading over the rest of her body. "andy..." she says softly, pulling her closer, tighter against her chest, like if she holds her close enough the other girl might stop hurting. "im so sorry... i would never. i wont ever-" she cant even finish the words, choking back a little sob as she does. "my sweet, sweet girl" she presses her lips against andy's head again, like that will do anything, like she can go into andy's past to protect her from the unspeakable horrors. "I...I want you to feel safe with me... but that might involve more talking, and i'm bad at talking, i know. but... lets try. at least"
andy's never seen george upset like this and that somehow makes this all worse. she can tell george is trying to pull it together, but she shouldn't have to. this was her mess. she'd been the one to make it. george is sitting here feeling guilty for something andy had all but forced her into against her will. finally she forces herself to look up, to gather herself just enough, to look at george, run a thumb gently across the other girl's cheek as if promising her it's okay to cry. "i... didn't tell you on purpose. i used you, george. i... wanted to hurt myself. and i used you to do it. it.... probably isn't the first time. i've done it with other people. i make.... choices i know will hurt.... i tell myself i deserve it. the.. release makes me feel better. sometimes. tonight it made me feel worse. but you... you need to let me apologize for it because i don't--i don't want to hurt you. you're hurting right now. i know you are. because i'm all.... messed up inside and i let it hurt you.
"no...no" she starts to reply, completely horrified that andy thinks this is her fault. that somehow she had used george and not the other way around. but then andy is looking at her and rubbing her cheek and she tells herself to stop crying. now wasn't the time to throw a pity party because she had hurt someone else. she listens to andy speak, it doesn't quite make sense, and george can't help but feel like there's something unspoken. "you don't need to apologise. it...it was a mistake. we both went too far... its nobody's fault" she says, before taking a deep, shaky breath as she steeled herself to potentially cross a line. but if she couldn't ask now, when could she. "andy... has... did someone else hurt you like that... i dont need to know specifics... i just... i don't want to do it to you again." its not something she wants to think about, not anything she wants to imagine, but she needs to know, if only to protect andy.
george sounds so hurt. her voice is scared and soft and gentle, even more than it was when andy had been sick. this is different. there's pain and vulnerability in it and andy feels guilt knotting in her own stomach so badly she could be sick. her hands shake and she tries to tuck her hair out of her face, but she can't bring herself to look up at george when she admits, "i.... wanted you to." andy shakes her head, her voice cracking for the thousandth time. "work.... sucked... like you said and i wanted...." it sounds so fucking pathetic. she feels pathetic. "it's not your fault, george. i should have... said something. and i shouldn't have.... used you like that. .i know how it sounds... how it is. i .. wanted to hurt. i.. let you."
she's managing to slow her breathing down, to stop any more tears from falling from her tears. she needed to be strong. she needed to be here for andy, to help fix the pain she had caused. she's still stroking andy's hair when she speaks again, lips pressed against her chest as she feels andy's breath shudder, when she tells her she wanted her to. she doesn't say the word, she doesn't have to. george knows what andy's saying. she had wanted george to hurt her. and george had. "don't apologise. please don't apologise" she says softly, pressing a kiss to the top of andy's head as she did. "i just....i need you to tell me... what you want... if its too much. i just.... i need you to talk to me, andy. because I don't know what i'm doing" her voice cracks then, and george screws her eyes shut once more, trying to not cry again
somehow, for some reason, george comes back. andy almost can't believe it, almost wants to tell her not to. she wants to warn her that everything inside of her black ink and it'll ooze through her veins and stain them both if george isn't careful. but she's sweaty and spent and exhausted. her limbs hurt so much and her entire psyche feels broken down too much to actually be selfless and make george go. so instead, andy clings to her, wraps herself into george blake with whatever strength she has left. her own skin is warm but she's growing freezing by the second. breath still shakey. "i'm so sorry, princess.." the nickname has no bite this time, all affection. neither of them has said much of anything, and maybe they need to. but they'll get there. "i'm so sorry. you're.... i didn't-- you didn't... i don't know what happened."
she holds andy to her chest and she doesn't let go. she couldn't get the sight of andy out of her mind, broken, vulnerable, fear in her eyes and panic in her voice. all she can think to do is hold her close and will it to go away, will andy to stop hurting. her tears finally break loose from her eyes, falling down her cheeks silently as she holds andy to her chest and listens to her make apologies that were unnecessary. "its okay" she whispers against andy's head, smoothing her hair at little as she did. "i'm sorry, i should have noticed... i should have stopped. we don't have to do that again." she mumbles, sniffing a little as she did. "work was so tough today and i got in my head and i just wasn't paying attention" she admits. "i...i didn't mean to hurt you"
i thought you liked it. the sentence ricochets around in andy's mind for a moment. because her first instinct is to say she did like it. but she doesn't. she knows she doesn't. she doesn't like feeling so far away from george. she doesn't like when her partners feel angry. she'd been so far past pleasure and so far into pain that she'd stopped liking it ages before. but she'd liked something else. liked the suffering, liked the sense of punishing herself like exactly what she needed was to be made to feel awful. that feeling terrifies her. the feeling of wanting to be used sits like rot in the put of her stomach. what kind of person thinks that? how ruined did she have to be to make george use her. to like it. to ask for it. andy's tears well up again and george is backing away from her, horror in her eyes like she too has just realized how every part of andy morales is laced in poison and waste. "no," andy shakes her head, wishing she had the strength to get to george, and terrified george doesn't want her to. she tries to move. "please... please don't go." they're in george's house but the words matter all the same. "george please... i'm sorry. you didn't hurt me. i need you..."
george is spiralling in her head. she was incredibly observant, it was what made her a good doctor, what made her a great doctor even, but could she really say that if she hadn't noticed how upset andy had been, how checked out she was? was she really the kind of person who puts women in degrading positions and just... used their bodies? she always thought she liked the control but... now all she could feel was her lack of control of the situation, how she couldn't calm her racing thoughts down. how she couldn't control herself. don't go...i need you andy's words cut through the fog and she looks over at her, blue eyes full of tears and worry and she suddenly remembers that she still has control over what happens next. "okay, okay" she says a little breathlessly, moving back towards andy on the bed. "i'm here..." she sits next to the brunette, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close. andy didn't hate her. andy wanted her to stay. so george would stay. "im not leaving. im here"
as soon as george frees her hands and turns her over, andy caves in on herself, drawing the sheets around her legs in slightly frantic movement, like she's panicked, like there's something inside of her trying to get out and she's desperate to keep it in. george looks shocked and terrified. her voice is soft and andy can still barely hear it. "you don't have to stop," andy assures her again, the panic rising in her voice. "i can take it. i can do it. just let me--" her eyes blur with tears and andy angrily brushes them away. and when she does, her clear vision shows her george again, asking if she was hurt with one of the quietest voices andy's ever heard her use. "what? no--" andy's breath rattles, she's so tired her limbs don't feel useable. her head feels dizzy. she looks down as she tries to fix the sheets and spots raw, red rings around her wrists. she's hurt sure. but it isn't george's fault. "i wanted you to. ...it's okay."
she watches andy scramble for the sheets to cover herself with her mouth slightly open, like she's seeing it in slow motion. she saw the look on andy's face, heard the panic in her voice. andy was hurt, and she was scared. scared of george. of what she might to do her. even as andy reassures her that she doesn't have to stop, that she wanted to do it, george's heart drops, and her lower lip starts to tremble. "fuck... i'm sorry andy" her words tumble out as she scrambles back wanting to give andy space. "i thought you liked it.. you didn't ask me to stop" her heart was racing. she was a monster. what kind of person could drive somebody else to that point and not even notice. every time andy blinks back a tear its another dagger in george's heart. "i-i'm sorry. i should have checked" she says, voice quiet as she blinks back her own tears, averting her eyes from andy as she did.
andy feels like she can't breathe. like she's quite literally suffocating and the world is far away. there's nothing left of her but george's movements, sharp pain. even the scarves around her wrists seem to bite into the skin and she almost wishes they'd tear it. trying everything to shove the tears in her eyes away is a dizzyingly futile exercise and when she finally opens her mouth to speak, something like a sob comes out. awful and embarrassing and andy feels like she's going to throw up. she barely hears george's voice, far away and distant. she's more aware of the stopped movement than george's presence. "what the fuck?" she finally asks, shaky and breathless, barely strength behind the words despite their bite. "why did you.. stop? i'm fine." her arms shake in their binds, and without george actually screwing her andy feels suddenly exposed and embarssed and small. her voice cracks, tears well worse. andy wants to fucking vanish. "i'm fine, george keep going."
corcern is all over george's face as she sits there stunned for a moment. how on earth had she not noticed andy getting like that? she thought andy would have told her to stop if she wasn't enjoying it. she just always assumed that andy was enjoying it. they didn't really talk much during sex but she should have noticed andy getting to the point of tears. andy's voice brings her back from her spiral, as she looks down and sees how truly exposed andy was right now, how vulnerable she was with her arms tied behind her back with her legs spread. "no, no we're stopping" she says, reaching to undo the scarf as quickly as she can, freeing andy's arms and rolling her onto her back "you're not fine its okay." she says again, hovering, unsure of whether to touch andy or not, whether she needs to be held or needs some space. "did... did i hurt you?"
at first it's just numb. the whole day is numb. it always is on days like this. andy shuts the world off and tries not to have a brain that really works. her clothes feel too tight all day and her scrubs cling to her skin and they send the kid home anyway because they can't do anything to help, because there is enough evidence, because suspicion doesn't count. and the one thing andy got in this stupid field for slips through her fingers the way it always does. and she's numb. numb when she doesn't deserve to be, when everything feels too loud and too quiet at the same time.
it's easy and inevitable to end up in george's bed. and andy agrees to the scarves and the position and the aggression of it without much thought or conversation. this is a normal rhythm for them, just doing it without saying much. it's not careless but it's thoughtless. and andy wants the thoughtless. she wants hard. she wants to feel something and she wants it to hurt so much it destroys her. so she doesn't stop. even when the position--which is already not one of her favorites for a list of vulnerable, emotional reasons--makes her feel liek she isn't there, even when two or three or however many orgasms in her pleasure starts feeling more like pain and exhaustion. she doesn't stop when her arms give out or her hips shake or her legs turn to putty in george's hands, and at some point, somewhere in the sting of a slap, andy realizes there are tears in her eyes. she presses her eyes shut, tries to shake them away. you're stronger than that. take it. be a good girl, andrea.
this is why she and andy just work. they dont talk about it much, she just gives and andy takes. ever since andy was sick, ever since they had fallen asleep in each other's arms not once, but twice, george had found herself thinking about andy more-- a lot more. she noticed andy at work, silently remembering what cases andy had on the board, asked about them in the car or in the break room. she thought about andy's stupid big green eyes and the little pout she pulled when george pulled her away from her charting to cover chairs. she liked andy. and that thought was a little terrifying to george.
sex she could do, sex was easy. especially the athletic stress relief sex they often did. they dont really hold each other and kissed, it was always a lot more goal-oriented, because if doctor george blake was one thing, she was an overachiever. she had lost count of the amount of times she had felt andy's thighs shaking against her legs, how long she had been gripping her hips, when she noticed andy had gone silent. now, andy wasn't usually particularly verbal in the bedroom, but this felt different. george's hips come to a stop, still panting, face flushed as she looks down and sees andy's eyes screwed shut, her clenched jaw and immediately saw not the throws of pleasure she had been expecting, but a look of endurance, of andy clearly hanging on by a thread and her heart fell into her stomach. "andy?" she says, voice full of concern as she immediately pulls out "are you okay?" it feels like an incredibly stupid thing to ask.
@gcldenn
it had been a rough day at work. for both of them. george had been able to tell by how andy had hovered near the lockers after they had spent hours with a girl far too young to have the kind of injuries she had. so she had invited her home. because that's what they did when either of them had a hard day at work now. or was sick apparently.
it hadn't taken them long to be naked on george's bed, andy's hand bound behind her back with a silk scarf which had been a recent introduction to their sex lives. her grip on andy's hips was bruising, her own knuckles turning white as she pulled andy's ass back to meet her already punishing thrusts, her strap on deep inside of her. this is what she needed, to turn her brain off and push her body to its limits, focusing only on driving her hips harder and harder against andy's ass, nails digging into her skin as she grunted. "fuck! just... fucking... take it" she grunted out, emphasising her words with slaps to andy's ass. there might not be a lot of things in this life she could control, but this right here, this george could control.
the sudden realisation that the woman in her bed was one of her junior residents had hit harder than george had been expecting. of course, she had known who andy was this entire time, but she's still silently cursing herself as she fills two glasses of water from the tap, chugging half of one while she still stands over the sink. it was fine. they were both adults. both professionals. it shouldn't creep into their work. she steels herself for a moment before going back into her bedroom, seeing doctor morales sat there naked on her bed, hair messed up from the way george had been grabbing it only minutes ago. "not often, no" she says in response as she holds out the glass to andy, before stretching her arms above her head with a little groan. "im going to shower... I assume you know your way out?" she says, more of a statement than a question, as she eyed morales. "and...uh... lets not tell anybody at work about this"
"are you--" andy's about to ask if george is okay, because when she returns from the kitchen there's a different, more distant look on her face and andy suddenly worries that somehow she'd gotten this all wrong. it didn't feel wrong. it felt good. and george was good. but the way the other girl doesn't return any of her commentary or banter, doesn't say anything else, makes andy's stomach knot. she doesn't ask the question. george dismisses her as easily and as confidently as she'd asked her here and andy has no desire to be the girl who whines in her bed and asks to cuddle after a one night stand. she's not that kind of girl. she's used to casual sex. and she's used to having to be a secret. so instead she just swallows the water george offers her with a nod. "yeah, you got it. i'm quiet." george disappears into the shower, and andy gathers her tired, sweaty limbs to find her way back into her clothes and out the door.
andy's still breathless. george is still hot. she sits on the bed a little frozen, limbs limp beneath her, watching george blake sit back on her bed still wearing a strap on harness and andy thinks there's no way any of this had just happened. but it had happened, and she feels a little more spent than she usually would after just one round in the sack. she's either out of practice or george had been a bit more than she's used to, and andy won't admit it's the later. she's not complaining either though, and when george gets up to leave for water, andy collects herself a little, sliding her body upright on the headboard and covering herself a bit with the sheet over her lazily tossed knees. she shoves her hair out of her face when george returns, still naked, still obscenely attractive, and andy shakes her head. "that was really hot, blake. you're really hot. do you... do this often or did i get lucky?"
the sudden realisation that the woman in her bed was one of her junior residents had hit harder than george had been expecting. of course, she had known who andy was this entire time, but she's still silently cursing herself as she fills two glasses of water from the tap, chugging half of one while she still stands over the sink. it was fine. they were both adults. both professionals. it shouldn't creep into their work. she steels herself for a moment before going back into her bedroom, seeing doctor morales sat there naked on her bed, hair messed up from the way george had been grabbing it only minutes ago. "not often, no" she says in response as she holds out the glass to andy, before stretching her arms above her head with a little groan. "im going to shower... I assume you know your way out?" she says, more of a statement than a question, as she eyed morales. "and...uh... lets not tell anybody at work about this"
when she finally gets her thoughts back, the only thing andy manages to say is "fuck." it's just a whisper, breathy and a little amused. some part of her wants to laugh at the whole thing, the way her legs almost ache beneath them both, the way george blake is hovering over her, whispering, pressing her nose against andy's ear. it's one way to polish off her first week of a new residency and a new hospital and new coworkers. finally relinquishing the hold she has on the sheets, andy does her best to try and turn toward george, to actually see her. she's breathing heavy. "keep going?" andy smirks a little, disbelief in her eyes. "don't you need a break?" they're both sweaty and george's blonde hair sticks to her forward just a bit. andy reaches up and brushes a strand of it off.
george can't help it, she smiles a little bit at the breathy 'fuck' that falls from andy's lips. a sign of a job well done, hitting harder than a million well dones or good jobs. she's still breathing heavily as andy twists below her, pushing up a little to give her enough space to move, but there's still that glint in her eyes, the satisfaction that she had officially exceeded expectations. she shrugs a little at the question, opens her mouth to respond when andy reaches out and pushes some of her hair off of her forehead and the words get stuck in her throat. suddenly this moment felt a lot more tender than a random hookup that had been initiated in the bathroom of a seedy bar. "yeah, probably" she replies, before pushing herself back and sitting down, running her hands through her hair and looking down at andy. not at andy. at doctor morales. and the reality of the situation settles in. "im gonna get some water" she says as she stands, pulling the harness off as she did before disappearing out of the room.
if andy could keep her thoughts straight she'd be just a little embarassed. but fortunately, she barely has a single thought except for the fact that george's sheets smell nice and she can barely breathe against them and she has to put all of her focus on trying not to let her legs buckle under her as a brain-shattering orgasm rips through her with more violence to its pleasure than she's used to. it's hot and wet and sweaty and when andy finally actually collapses in exhausted pleasure against the pillow, a dizzy, faint smile on her lips, she taps her open right palm against the mattress three times like she's surrendering a wrestling match
the sounds andy's making are driving george absolutely wild. this is what she needed, what she thinks they both might have needed after this week. she grins as andy cums, holding her up as her thrusts slow down, helping her ride it out before finally letting andy collapse against her sheets. she's breathing heavily as she stops, before practically draping her body over andy's back to press a kiss to her shoulder, and then her neck before whispering in her ear "i was right... you did look gorgeous taking it" she says with a smirk, nuzzling andy's earlobe for a moment. "are you all done? we can keep going if you want"
in a strange way, andy gets what she wants. she doesn't give george the performance she's looking for, and doctor blake takes the denial as encouragement. andy grunts, a little rough and thrown off balance when george pushes her head down, taking her strength that had previously been barely holding her up on her arms with her. andy's face meets the pillows, her fingers wrap in the sheets. but it's when george adds her fingers to the equation that andy feels herself truly unravel. it's not even an orgasm just yet. it's the strength leaving her body, the quiver of her hips, the shake of her thighs. her breath gets harder and heavier, accented by small whines and whimpers with every one of george's hard, deep thrusts. and when her orgasm does finally coil tight in her insides, andy's not sure she can even do it. the "... f-fuck.. blake.." that comes out of her mouth is almost pleading. though she's not sure for what.
its far from the sweet and fumbling hook up she was sure andy was expecting when she invited her over. she could tell from the moment that the other woman had made the slight dig about her maybe having a boyfriend that she was either expecting george to be a straight girl trying out girls for a night, or a pillow princess. and george blake was neither of those things. her eyes darked as she watches how andy practically collapses against the bed, face down and ass up for her as george continued to thrust into her with a punishing pace. she's panting a little as she does, sweat starting to appear on her skin as she focuses all of her energy into make andy come undone, grinning at the sound of her name falling from her lips. her fingers are soaked, and she's sure her thighs must be too, but that doesn't stop her, just going and going and going until andy wont be able to take it anymore.
they are always tired. all of them. the senior residents for all the responsibility they have, the junior residents trying to keep up and impress. it's an exhausting job. andy knows what george blake looks like exhuasted. but--"it's different," she answers quietly. "your eyes look sleepy. when you're tired at work they get all extra wide. like you're going to glue them that way." there's a soft smile on andy's lips. as terrifying as the vulnerability and softness should be, lying this close to george, the way she feels safe here, it's nice to not call it out for a moment. "thank you," she adds. unsure if she's thanking her for being worried about her or for the care in general. "with the fever broken i can.. probably get out of your hair today if you want. so you can actually sleep."
there's her heart skipping a beat again. she didn't realise andy paid enough attention to her at work to know what she looked like tired, and how different it was to how she looked now. like she actually cared about her. "oh, i'd never put glue near my eyes. ive had to treat at least five different patients over the years who had accidentally glued their eyes shut while trying to put on false lashes" she says with a chuckle, before shaking her head, the movements so miniscule so as to not disturb andy- she knew she was feeling better, but there was no way she was 100% just yet. "no, its okay. you can stay here as long as you need" she says and without thinking, presses her lips to the top of andy's head before she settles back against the pillows once more. "i might just fall asleep here if im honest"
OPEN TO: ㅤf/nb | open to non-mutuals MUSE: ㅤㅤpippa caldwell; career-oriented art dealer. texas born queen PLOT: based on
blame it on the alcohol, but pippa did not know how they went to belting out carly simon's greatest hits to being barely inches away from each other. whatever spotify chose to play next, pippa hardly paid attention to it. tough thing to do when there were more pressing matters at hand, like how good the other's perfume smelled. or how inviting their lips looked.
sure, they had drunk about a bottle of wine each at this point, but to zelda there was no better way of spending valentine's day. why would she be sitting at home feeling sorry for herself when she and pippa were having the perfect galentines? she's a little breathless after belting out you're so vain, swaying a little as she notices just how close pippa is, how she's looking at her lips like she's suddenly realised they were there. her heart is beating loudly in her chest, and she has a split second to make a decision- but split second decisions are what zelda does best. she leans forward and presses their lips together briefly, pulling back with a glint in her eyes, almost like she's daring pippa to continue.
