normal kinks for normal people @cantholditin - Tumblr Blog

My box of sex toys arrived, I’m so horny I’m throbbing but I’m so stoned that it’s hard to open the boxes and put the batteries in 🥴 also i kinda have a little boyfriend and we haven’t hooked up yet but I’m so dick hungry I’m resorting to toys again

A form fitting dress clinging to a woman’s big belly is so sexy and as much as i love big booba i think its sexiest when the belly sticks out further than the tits, it just makes her belly look extra big and full

Also seeing bloated bellies at a fancy catered party in all of that formal dress wear is 🥵 so many stuffed guts pretending they don’t need to fart

In my 20s i didn’t really believe in all that biological imperative stuff and thought it would never happen to me

I’m trying to get back into the dating world in my 30s bc i would like to find love but holding out for the right person is hard when I have to consciously try not to dry hump my bed at night, I’m almost desperate to fuck half the time I’m awake and even sometimes when I’m asleep and dreaming ughh

I spent $300 on toys 🫣 i got a regular vibe, a dual toy with an internal vibe on one end and a clit licker on the other end, a panty vibe, a rose toy, and a dildo

I have been going insane from how horny I’ve been and I’ve been aggravating my carpal tunnel and straining my wrist while flicking my bean the old fashioned way

Feeling bubbly in my stomach tonight prob bc i followed up a large Burger King meal w an extra order of onion rings with a a high fiber turkey wrap and a slice of chocolate cake. Not sick feeling, just feeling super bloated and the farts are huge and loud

I’m not a huge fan of diapers but i do like them in the context of someone who is so sick that it necessitates a diaper bc they’re having explosive diarrhea. Ripping muffled farts into a diaper from a very full/sick stomach is very good also

I’m getting wet looking at vibrators again and then getting more wet bc i can feel it coming out, then it starts coming out faster 🥴

Gonna need some sexy people to clutch their stomachs and moan while they fart

Had a very stressful day for personal reasons and gorged myself on chocolate covered shortbread cookies before bed and now my tummy feels gassy and queasy

Will that day of orgasming include a tummy ache as a treat for the rest of us perhaps?

Possibly 👀 no promises, will depend on if I’m feeling sexy

#i tried being very pious for a while and as is typical of that i have become a dumb slut yet again

Already gave up on the celibacy thing and now I’m buying a whole new set of toys

I think once they all arrive i might take a day off work and spend the whole day orgasming, as a treat

cantholditin

Old thing i had privated and never posted publicly

Fam how was that much doordash not prohibitively expensive

It was 😔 I make bad money decisions

The last place i lived had too many great restaurants very close to my house and I’m only realizing now that I’m maintaining a more normal diet that i spent two whole years stuffed and bloated from getting DoorDash multiple times a week

I had to lay flat in bed at night because i would constantly be releasing huge, ridiculously loud farts that nearly vibrated the bed and i had to have multiple fans on in the room to drown out my sighing and moaning as my stomach bloated and deflated over and over again almost every night

Not to mention how much sludge i was shitting out during the day, bent over on the toilet while clutching my gut up to five or six times a day. My roommates sometimes checked up on me multiple times because I’d be in there for almost an hour, farting hard and groaning

Sometimes nothing would even be coming out because i was so constipated despite the feeling of urgently needing to have diarrhea swirling in my tummy and I’d be panting and rubbing my cramping stomach, rocking back and forth as i rubbed my intestines until a tiny plug of shit would pop out like a cork and let me squeeze out some foul squirts of muck

And every day I’d be lugging my perpetually bulging tummy ache around and pile more and more junk food, pizza, iced coffees, and ice cream into my bloated gut until i was too full and nauseous to keep going

I failed at celibacy bc i got too full of Burger King 👉👈 i threw out my vibrators a while ago so I’m a lot more sensitive now from not touching myself in so long and it’s noticeable

I used to feel like i needed a jackhammer and 45 minutes to get me off but i’ve just been flicking my clit back and forth with two fingers and having groaning orgasms effortlessly

Have been trying to stay away from this blog bc I’m practicing abstinence and avoiding touching myself but it’s been weeks since i threw away my vibrators and i wanna rub one out so bad

Any time i let my mind wander i start getting that hot horny feeling in my tummy and i have to walk around with my clit feeling huge and a tense aching emptiness in my pussy

It turns me on more knowing nobody can tell i have the equivalent of a painfully hard boner and i find myself clenching and unclenching my thighs together, pinching my clit in between my legs and rocking back and forth when no one’s looking and coming so so close to busting

Ugh i want to cum so bad

Had coffee and donuts for breakfast and i guess it didn’t agree with me because my tummy feels bloated under my navel and my farts stink so bad 💨 💨

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normal kinks for normal people