I will take this ferris wheel And Iâm sleepwalking back into this hell
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Peter Solarz
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blake kathryn

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Today's Document
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Janaina Medeiros
Sweet Seals For You, Always
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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Product Placement

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@cantplayguitar
I will take this ferris wheel And Iâm sleepwalking back into this hell
Kill All Your Friends has always been my favorite mcr song like itâs indescribable to me. Pain and desperation in love and feeling enterally tied to where you grew up.
Itâs always just been an entire movie in my head. Someone falling in love with another person but never taking the plunge. The other person moving away. Desperation. Killing those around them because they know itâll bring the other back for the funeral. It being horrific and evil but you oddly sympathize more with the person who is inexplicably weighed down by how and where they grew up.
youâre actually shitting me right now
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
RAY TORO SUMMERTIME SOLO MWAH
9 years in the making
fully understanding what boy division is about was like getting electrocuted and thrown off a bridge
boy division is a black satire. Itâs a parodic look at the bandâs history, the for-profit music industry, as well as gerardâs struggles with identity, substance, mental illness, and the faults of fame. Itâs a firecracker reference to songs and experiences throughout mcrâs career, pseudo-laughing at its own wounds.
one of the key things to understand about boy division is the time period it was written during. the bandâs last concert was the famed and disastrous 2008 madison square garden where they had nearly broken up. gerard was already primed with stress and cynicism; the black parade was dead, and gerardâs plans they'd written up way back during bullets had run their course. the band was essentially left without a narrative identity. despite all this, the bandâs label was pressuring them to create another album they had no spark for. this is the context boy division was created under, which informs its panicked and mockingly retrospective tone.
the first lines in the song already drip with sarcasm, setting up this theme of ironic self-destruction. gerard is talking to themselves, the audience, and the music industry; would you lay back and watch them flay themselves open for your own entertainment/profit? because gerard certainly has; they've spoken many times about how they fell over and over again into the trap of feeling like they could only create art when on the brink of falling apart. this song lays out their fear at having that cycle repeated.
the next lines make me go batshit for obvious reasons:
this is a direct reference to bury me in black which is already insane on its own. bury me in black, at least in my and many othersâ reading, is about gender identity and yearning for conceptual femininity, likening lipgloss to heroin and lipstick to battle scars. in boy division, these lines are sarcastic, almost like itâs mocking gerardâs lyrical identity struggles and how they dressed during revenge as well as how the industry âboughtâ their casket outfit, another jab at profit over creativity.
these are probably the most famous lines in boy division which. yeah. makes sense. not only is this another dig at stage costumes, it's also a glaring reference to the donât ask donât tell US military policy. gerard had an unofficial âcode of silence' during mcr that didn't allow them to admit if they were gay or straight, and these lines could easily be about that experience.
remember the self-destruction motif? gerard makes it explicit here. this is such a raw chorus because they're a blip of unfiltered truth behind all the angry mockery. they don't want to fall into this cycle again, but they don't know if they can save themselves on their own.
this is an interesting line; danger days has a bonus track called âwe don't need another song about californiaâ, which is a glaring point of irony. it's almost as if gerard was mocking danger days before it was even finished. this reads as another satirical insult against the bandâs label pushing them to make another album despite their exhaustion.
okay. this verse is tough. gerard is essentially mocking his own cocaine addiction, in a way thatâs self-flagellating instead of comedic. heâs talking once again about self-destruction, and how he feels he gave his enemies (addiction, illness, etc.) the very weapons they needed to kill him. this verse is stating its self-awareness of the cycle that gerard's been in before and are falling into again. you'd think the sentiment would be sweetened by its joking tone, but the second prechorus kinda dashes that to bits.
this is the hidden thesis statement of the song. gerard lays it out flat here: the satire is a facade. the song isn't funny. itâs not a joke. working within a massive industry, having to stay closeted, struggling with creating art outside of crisis, the endless cycle they canât seem to break out of, these are all real things theyâve gone through.
this is a third dig at the revenge/black parade costume visuals, and i second @milfygerard 's statement that itâs also a reference to fashion statement, another song that can be read as being about identity and presentation. even the title is incredibly explicit; itâs not a fashion statement, it's a fucking deathwish. the title admits that the way gerard dressed during revenge was more than just theatrics, but spoke to something about them that would prompt harm from other people. once again, femininity is the cause of external violence. pair the prechorus together, and it reads as gerard admitting the very thing bury me in black tries to shove away; that their glam theatrics, their morbid femininity, the way they dressed, none of it was ever a joke, and it was dangerous enough that they tried to pass it off as one.
boy division is a song about identity; as a creative group, as an artist, and as a person. the high-energy pace of the track highlights the irony of the lyrics as well as the manic anxiety in the face of a potentially directionless band. the rest of the song repeats the vampire money lyric 'we got the bomb', rising in volume until the track ends with gerard in a full-throated scream, threatening to blow everything he'd sung about to bits. as we learned a few years later, he actually had wished they'd ended the band after black parade was over. they hadn't been able to pull the grenade pin, and maybe that was a mistake.
none of this is meant to be a downer. boy division was always one of my favorite songs because of how self-aware it was. i thought they'd never make another song that was as revealing. then foundations blew it out of the water. to me, boy division and foundations are black mirror images of each other, both reflecting on the scars that mcr left on the band and gerard, both criticizing how they dealt with those scars, but where boy division ends with destruction, tearing it to shreds before anything else could happen, foundations ends with a hopeful call to action. what a fucking progression that is.
VAMPIRE
bracing for impact. the bridge.
they are at the peak of their fucking musical performance. they have never sounded better in their lives. gerardâs voice and vibrato and tone control. the three part harmonies. the new drum and rhythm section. the blending. we are never going to get anything like this again
so. who else is having frank and mikey pay their fucking therapy bills
some of the things that make me really think this doc has to be more than just concert clips and audience interviews is that gerard is a genuine chatterbox. they hate interviews and social media because of the way it pushes an agenda usually not focused on art or community, and gerard has always been a community guy when theyâre feeling social, but when theyâre allowed to rant about what theyâre passionate about, theyâre literally impossible to shut up. i think people have forgotten that theyâre sooo chatty and passionate when in a conducive situation simply because theyâve spent the last few years offline (and assumedly having a hard lockdown), but that doesnât mean they havenât been talking up a storm in their personal life. and by the sheer amount of creativity and media literacy weâve seen from them in the past month alone, iâm positive theyâve been infodumping joan-and-squid style whenever they get the chance.
gerardâs also very aware that they wonât be able to just not talk about this for the rest of their life. this tour has been one of the biggest rock phenomenons in years, and has generated incredible media and public attention. gerard was already hounded with questions about mcr in unrelated interviews before they ever even got back together. theyâre very aware theyâre going to get asked about it. because they hate interviews, because theyâre so careful about the way their art is received, because they have such specific intentions they donât like to have misconstrued by an uncaring or outright malicious interviewer, i really feel like theyâre going to talk in this doc. not explain everything; theyâre certainly going to leave a lot of room for interpretation, theyâve said they love shit like that. but theyâre going to talk.
oh also frank iero has said almost nothing about what this tour has meant to him besides saying âi love musicâ you KNOW that motherfucker corners the doc cameraman every chance he gets to let off some steam. that dude does not shut up ever. he wasnât allowed to say shit during that little zoom interview in august and he still managed to spoil 3/4ths of their added setlist in a period of half an hour.
the more time i spend in the mcr/fiat_ fanbases the less comfortable i get with able-bodied fans talking about stomachaches as a breakup album, and at this point even the âjokesâ i see are in pretty poor taste. this would be less of an issue if the majority of the fanbase recognized and celebrated stomachaches as disability art, but this unfortunately isnât the case and as a disabled person i gotta say itâs pretty fucking ableist.
stomachaches is about a lot of different topics; thereâs no denying that. many of the songs are specifically about frank processing mcrâs band breakup or potentially personal breakups he went through at various points in his life. itâs also about mental illness, love, fears, loss, legacies, and self worth. all of these themes (and more) are prominent throughout the album, but to pretend as if those things are in any way equivocally important to its core disability narrative is incredibly naive and reductive.
i realize some people might not be aware of this, but the album itself was born out of one of the most difficult chronic illness flareups frank has had. he described the creative process for stomachaches as staying in his basement for months on end and writing down any scraps of ideas that came to mind while he was there, just so he would have something to do and something to show for it. he initially never intended to create or release a complete album, but his wife encouraged him to put it out there because she knows how happy music and performing makes him. erasing the main reason for stomachachesâs inception isnât just ableist, itâs also poor reading comprehension of a fairly indiscreet work.
while stomachaches does explore depression/mental illness quite well, i need able-bodied people to understand that the same mental illnesses manifest quite differently for physically disabled people. refuting feelings of existential uselessness isnât so easy when you objectively are unable to âcontribute to societyâ in a way thatâs socially acceptable or take care of yourself/your loved ones. frank exploring his own feelings of uselessness, believing he has no [perceived] personal worth after losing the one thing that gave him value (and therefore âthe rightâ to exist in this world), and losing his support system (band, family, friends) after becoming isolated and unable to take care of himself/his family all take on a VASTLY different meaning when told through the lens of a physically disabled person. you actually canât categorize these specific feelings/ideas as broader mental illness without the context of a physical illness impeding recovery, or even without challenging yourself on what ârecoveryâ looks like for someone who will always experience physical limitations no matter what. tragician, neverenders, smoke rings, and guilt tripping are possibly the best examples of this concept, although nearly every song on the album plays around with this. here are a few select lines from some of the aforementioned songs that help illustrate this idea:
Tragician: âI'm sick of having you depend on me / Cause I'll let you down like I always doâ + âThrough all the times we've tried / I could never be what you needed of me / But I wish I wereâ
Smoke Rings: âYou can't cure me / Drugs can't kill me / Love won't save me from myselfâ (strained coughing)
Guilt Tripping: âMy body's weak / It gave up on me / This time I don't think I will get out from / What I'm underneathâ + âI've felt so bad for so long / I'm scared I'm fineâ
despite all of this, frank isnât asking you to feel sorry for him, and heâs certainly not asking for you to turn his story into an inspiring tale of overcoming adversity. heâs asking you to see him exactly as he is, challenge yourself in being open to a specific type of grief you may not have personally experienced before, and feel even a fraction of the physical pain this album was born out of there with him. he invites you to join him on his journey and come out of it understanding a little more about who he is outside of being the rhythm guitarist from mcr. not because that isnât important to himâitâs so, SO unbelievably important to him, and itâs the reason for much of the emotional pain he describes on stomachachesâbut because heâs always been more than that. heâs a complete person with thoughts and feelings and dreams who happens to have an incredibly debilitating illness, and thatâs shaped his life in ways most people would never think of until he put it out there for everyone to see. all iâm asking is for able-bodied fans to remember and consider this in your stomachaches interpretations, because frank hasnât shied away from this part of his life and it shows a serious problem with ableism in a fanbase that largely refuses to acknowledge that.
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Kate Bush (1979)