Not Together But Getting There

An 18 year male recently trying to recovery after two years of suffering from anorexia and looking for inspiration and support :) this will mainly be my journey though my recovery and the ups and downs of it all. Interested in photography and music and hoping to study jazz performance at uni in september. Feel free to message and ask me anything :)

[transparentkiwi]

[halseycon]

[itsthebab]

One day it just gets better. There’s no explanation or reason why. You just wake up and you’re not angry anymore.

(via renefields)

[cantsleeponthistonight]

me when i dont got this: i got this

[cantsleeponthistonight]

TW

[tinadayton]

I would just like to say fuck you to everyone who made me feel inadequate growing up and ruining my self esteem for years. You all suck and I’m glad I don’t talk to any of you any more. 

[foreveralone-lyguy]

When you realize that someone is only being nice to you because they want something

[pureblyss]

What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.

Unknown (via arbolae)

z

(via hope-and-wish)

[cantsleeponthistonight]

nitrqin:

I wonder if I ever caught someones attention. Even if I was just walking among the crowd, I wonder if they wanted to get to know me or anything like that.

[sandandglass]

[9gag]

My life since I discovered the internet. #9gag

[brokenunderstars-blog]

No one ever said babies weren’t cute. 

Seal, Fawn, Owl, Pigglet, Fox-pup, Sloth, Polar bear cub, Bunny and dolphin. (young babies)

[x5bv9lxo50hx1tncu1-deactivated]

Alcohol tastes better than the thought of you and her

10 word story (L.V.K.)

[coronaroyal-deactivated20160404]

I don’t want to earn my living; I want to live.

Oscar Wilde (via hermit-lyfe)

[cantsleeponthistonight]

Therapy Update

Just had my last ever session! Im a bit anxious about it, but I'm almost exited. Its a new beginning trying on my own, being trusted and living without something I've had for the past year. It was really sad saying bye to my therapist though, had to stop myself from crying. She's been there for me through everything, even for my family when my mum managed to get hold of her after an incident, becoming more than just help but a friend, and its always difficult leaving someone like that who's helped me through everything. But it was always going to happen, and its just time.

[michellekpoems]

It’s okay to not like things about yourself. You do not have to think you’re beautiful all of the time. It’s even okay to have things about yourself that you want to change, within reason. However, it is never okay not to love yourself. It is completely unacceptable to berate, abuse, or harm yourself. You are not perfect, and you do not need to be. It is okay to not like yourself; it is never okay to hate yourself.

Michelle K., How Do You Recover? pt. 5  (via michellekpoems)

[cantsleeponthistonight]

Update after a looong time! And problem...

So i haven't really been posting as there's not too much to say and I've been so busy with uni! Ive been eating well and doing a lot of work with recovering, but my last session ever with my team is next week, and I'm really scared. Ive been doing a lot better and feeling a lot better, but I've been completely knocked and don't know what to do. Ive been eating easily the right amount, being more flexible both with food and timing, and I'm in the healthy/underweight BMI (under 20) and stable for the past 5/6 weeks without restricting, and for the first time i felt happy. But yesterday one of my older brothers friends who saw me once when i was really near my lowest and had no idea about anything hugged me then said id gained weight and made a fat joke, and now i sort of feel like crying all the time, i don't get people, i just don't know how to forget it. 

I also found out last session that at my lowest they were a week from putting me in inpatient if i didn't mention or gain, so that was a bit upsetting, never really thought it was that bad. and i finally wrote my letter to anorexia, which was a lot harder than i thought, but i had more to say than i imagined, so I'm glad i did it.