louis is sitting on the bed looking over to harry, who is motionless at the door frame and staring back at louis. louis sighs and feels himself sink further into his mattress.
he whispers, “we don’t have to make this awkward.” and harry stiffens at his words. “i just had to tell you.”
harry blinks and exhales out slowly before saying, “niall told me to come see you after he called you.” and louis sees the very tweet flashing in his mind. ‘…harry told me somethin tday that u told him…’ no one will know what it means but them. no one else but them.
louis shifts nervously in his spot, stare digging straight into the carpet as he listens to harry try to choke up the words heavy in his throat.
“did you break up with her because of me, lou?”
louis knew it was coming, and he knew that harry knew, because harry is smart. especially with what happened five hours ago. harry is just too damn intelligent.
“did you break up with her because of me, louis?” he repeats again, firmer, and it frightens louis almost. louis didn’t think he could look at him before, but now the atmosphere is chilled and bitter and louis doesn’t want to be in the same room as his best mate.
but louis answers him, because he should. “i did.”
“why?” and there’s a shuffle forward, but louis cannot see harry being any closer. he still feels a million miles away from his needy grasp. louis hates it. “what made you… think that hannah wasn’t perfect enough for you?”
louis knows why. “i just knew she wasn’t perfect for me.”
because it wasn’t harry. “i couldn’t see it in her eyes,” louis murmurs truthfully. “there was something missing there, and… i guess it was just my mind telling me that i really liked her.”
and louis finally looks up to him, and harry looks baffled, or maybe offended. he doesn’t know. but harry steps forward, closer than they’ve been in the past 5 minutes, but not as close as they were 5 hours ago.
“then… you like me? is that from your head, or your heart?”
louis blinks at him when harry softens his eyes. “my heart, harry.”
harry cards a hand through his hair, eyes tearing from louis’ and focusing on the plain wall on their left. “what’s tells you that, lou.”
louis stands up, he fucking stands up for god’s sake. he’s eye level with harry, and it astounds the both of them. louis is upright and staring straight into the same face he kissed 5 hours ago. the same face he told i fancy you to 5 hours ago.
“i see it in your eyes,” louis says to him. “i just… i’ve been hidden in a dark place for a long time, and i just tried to push it away. i thought maybe she could be the one, just… so i couldn’t come face to face with the real truth that i might actually like boys.”
harry is silent, watching louis’ lip quiver anxiously. then, harry speaks softly. “me too.”
“i like boys too,” harry smiles to him. louis gapes. “you’re the third person i’ve told, after my mum and my sister.”
louis cannot find proper words to chuck out. “you just…” louis pauses, and looks at the sincerity in his eyes. harry’s so genuine it hurts. “you came out… to me?”
“i came out to you because i wanted to, not because i was told to,” says harry. “gemma also told me that i should kind of say i like you too, but yeah… dunno, if that’s… cool for you to know, since you told me… and stuff but yeah–”
“you’re rambling, harold,” louis grins. harry simpers at him before poking directly at his stomach. louis slaps the hand away and leaves his lips curved into a delighted smile. “it’s been two months, but i feel like i know you so well, and… i feel so ridiculous. when i broke it off with her and knew i had feelings for you it felt like all this weight was taken from me.”
harry acknowledges that, he must have felt the same way. “i’m sorry for running out on you… like that earlier. i just blanked and freaked out because i didn’t know you broke up with her. i didn’t want to be a part of a cheating act.”
“never,” louis mutters, seriously. he reaches for harry’s hands, both of them, and bunches them up in his own little ones. they’re held together in the middle, and louis kisses harry’s knuckles.
“so… do you think,” harry starts, “that… things should stay this way or… i just don’t know where to take it?”
“i want to be with you,” louis says. “i know i do, but i will only do anything if you’re ready for it too.”
and both of them know the consequences. they’re in a boyband, to become successful. and things could downfall, could get ugly very fast. there will be a lot of tears, lots of arguments. harry worries they won’t be enough to keep it together.
harry widens his eyes. they fall flat in an instant. “could we ever be enough?”
louis nods without hesitation, peppering harry’s knuckles again with a million and one kisses. “i know we can be enough.”
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