Steve aka Capsicle

Tony set this up. I was not going to let him pretend to be me, so here I am.

[ironman-tonystark]

Some people think that Steve and I argue too much. We like to call it challenging each other.

[cap-steverogers]

We do?

[ironman-tonystark]

Sure, Cap might do things like jump out of planes without a parachute, but he really doesn't seem so tough after you've heard him whining about the heat not being turned up high enough.

[cap-steverogers]

It was warmer in the ocean

[cap-steverogers]

get verified steve

Not sure what that means but okay....

[ironman-tonystark]

Barnes was staring at me today with such a murderous look, my testes retreated so far up, I'm pretty sure I could feel them by my tonsils.

[justcallme-bucky]

Meanwhile, I was just zoned out trying to remember where I left my motorcycle last.

[cap-steverogers]

It's on the roof.

So, no one was listening to my speech in the meeting yesterday?

[ironman-tonystark]

Clint just ran into the room holding his bow, announced, 'I don't want to alarm anyone!' and then ran off. You failed, Legolas. You failed.

[cap-steverogers]

He forgot his arrows...

[cap-steverogers]

hey, Steve,

you know Bucky very well, right...? how can I get him to go on a date with me?

I'm not sure if his online dating profile is still up, but you could start there? @justcallme-bucky

[ironman-tonystark]

Another year coming to a close, and another year Cap's the only holdout for us to release a swimsuit calendar. I swear, one year he'll give in.

[cap-steverogers]

...no.

[ironman-tonystark]

Nothing summons Steve faster than saying Bucky Barnes is a war criminal. But it also summons his shield, so duck if you try it.

[cap-steverogers]

(Wade told me to post this, I'm not sure why...)

[cap-steverogers]

is tony just like, horny for you 24/7?

i mean i get it, but still

@ironman-tonystark ?

[ironman-tonystark]

Trying to convince Pepper to go antiquing with me, and by antiquing, I mean having sex with Steve Rogers.

[cap-steverogers]

Was this something you ran by me?!

[ironman-tonystark]

That's part of the antiquing process, Cap. As soon as I get the green light from Pep, get ready to be seduced.

[cap-steverogers]

Okay...well...good luck, I guess?

[ironman-tonystark]

Trying to convince Pepper to go antiquing with me, and by antiquing, I mean having sex with Steve Rogers.

[cap-steverogers]

Was this something you ran by me?!

[ironman-tonystark]

Given all the Captains on the team, I floated the idea of starting a website called Only Caps. Despite the huge money-making potential, the idea was not greeted very enthusiastically, I'm afraid.

[cap-steverogers]

...this has something to do with my shirts shrinking, doesn't it?

[cap-steverogers]

I buy shirts in the correct size, but they always end up like this.... I'm just going to say it: Is someone shrinking my shirts?

[ironman-tonystark]

Everyone knows Barnes has resting bitch face, but did you know, Cap has resting dad face?

[cap-steverogers]

I accept that, but please stop referring to me as 'Daddy' in the mission reports.

[ironman-tonystark]

I caught Cap running naked down the hall, using the shield to cover his junk. He now refuses to talk about it or even admit it happened in the first place. I KNOW I DIDN'T DREAM IT, STEVE!

[cap-steverogers]

Never happened.

[ironman-tonystark]

Cap is always saying he's not built for this heat, and yet he refuses to wear the chainmail bikini uniform I designed for him.

[cap-steverogers]

It's crotchless!

[ironman-tonystark]

I've always said that depression and PTSD are the key components in making a good superhero.

[justcallme-bucky]

Are you calling me a good superhero?

[cap-steverogers]

Is he saying there are superheroes who DON'T have depression and PTSD?