Freezer Burns

just a guy getting readjusted to 21st century life and getting tormented by my so-called friends. (not an rp blog for your private smut please stop asking)

[ironman-tonystark]

Small Announcement

There's a group of you out there pretending to be us - roleplaying if you will. That's great. I'm glad you're all having fun. Fun is fun and all that. WE ARE NOT PART OF THAT. Please stop tagging us in posts, reblogging our posts and adding to the conversation, sending us asks referencing your game, and responding to our posts as if we are part of your game. We aren't. We're just here posting to Tumblr about what's happening with the Avengers. You're all welcome to send us asks as yourselves and not your characters. If there are other members of the Avengers out there who want to be verified with us, DM me and we can do that. We aren't adopting any kids, we aren't talking to variants. We're just here shit posting. That's it. Regards from; @ironman-tonystark, @justcallme-bucky, @cap-steverogers, @drbrucebanner-phdx7, @deadpool-unikrnlvr, @samandredwing, @thor-the-mighty, @clint-anon, @natasha-anon, @agent-mariahill, @agentsharoncarter

[ironman-tonystark]

My relationship with Barnes is like peeling garlic. I want to smash him on the head with the back of a knife, but if I do, I'll just be stuck with a bunch of paperwork.

[justcallme-bucky]

My relationship with Tony is like making popcorn. Hopefully he explodes at a cellular level. Quickly.

[ironman-tonystark]

Cap hates how I talk to Barnes, but honestly, the only time he ever says anything good about himself is when I'm being mean to him. I think it should be called bullying into high self-esteem.

[justcallme-bucky]

I hate you... so much.

[ironman-tonystark]

But you're thinking pretty highly of yourself though, right?

[justcallme-bucky]

Careful Rocketman, I'll begin to think you actually give a shit about me.

[ironman-tonystark]

Cap hates how I talk to Barnes, but honestly, the only time he ever says anything good about himself is when I'm being mean to him. I think it should be called bullying into high self-esteem.

[justcallme-bucky]

I hate you... so much.

[ironman-tonystark]

Barnes has been carrying around his knives and calling me Caesar all morning. I think I'm gonna go to the lab and lock the door.

[justcallme-bucky]

Many people assume Caeser was stabbed by his friends, though. So you've gotta ask yourself...are we friends, and were they?

[ironman-tonystark]

The two things I find most difficult about planning a party for Barnes are finding decorations of me flipping him off, and trying to convince everyone he shouldn't be invited.

[justcallme-bucky]

Honestly, I assumed everyone forgot this year. Even I forgot this year.

[ironman-tonystark]

Happy Birthday to Barnes. If I have to say one nice thing about you it's that you're pretty hot and you give me a good reason to drink.

[justcallme-bucky]

I.... thank you?

[ironman-tonystark]

I saw a "I hate Tony Stark" crop top in a boutique today. Thoughts?

Where can I get one? I bet I could convince @justcallme-bucky to wear it, and honestly, I'd look great in that thing.

[justcallme-bucky]

This feels like a trap...

[ironman-tonystark]

A Valentine's Poem for Barnes: Violets are blue, Roses are red, It's all thanks to you, That my parents are dead.

[justcallme-bucky]

Violets are blue,

another word for sad.

Oh what a shame you'll never

be as cool as your dad.

[ironman-tonystark]

Fortunetellers always warn you about a tall, dark, and handsome stranger, but never about the broad, blonde, and righteous friend of your dad who's gonna annoy the hell out of you.

[justcallme-bucky]

And the fact that the tall, dark, handsome stranger is the best friend of said broad, blonde, righteous friend of your dad.

[ironman-tonystark]

Barnes just came into my lab and shoved his ice-cold hand down the back of my shirt. Turns out, he'd buried in the snow for a couple of hours to add to the effect. I now have a cold burn, so that's great.

[justcallme-bucky]

Just trying to live up to the nickname you gave me.

[ironman-tonystark]

You know what? I can totally see why HYDRA made Barnes an assassin. He has a great ass, and he is an ass.

[justcallme-bucky]

[ironman-tonystark]

Barnes was staring at me today with such a murderous look, my testes retreated so far up, I'm pretty sure I could feel them by my tonsils.

[justcallme-bucky]

Meanwhile, I was just zoned out trying to remember where I left my motorcycle last.

[cap-steverogers]

It's on the roof.

So, no one was listening to my speech in the meeting yesterday?

[justcallme-bucky]

How the fuck ...

[ironman-tonystark]

It likely comes as no surprise that Sam makes the most epic snow angels.

[samandredwing]

Sorry for the sheet of snow that landed on Gerald, I was aiming for @justcallme-bucky

[justcallme-bucky]

Still waiting on Tony to combine these emojis 🖕🦾 to make a metal middle finger.

[ironman-tonystark]

I just found out that popsicles are called icy poles in Australia. And just like that, I have a new nickname for Barnes.

[justcallme-bucky]

Okay, Yank Tank. Wait, shit, you're going to enjoy that one aren't you...

[ironman-tonystark]

I got into an argument with Barnes today, and he pulled this out of his pocket and shoved it into my hand, telling me it was something to go fuck myself with.

I don't know how long he'd been carrying it around in his pocket, but you have to appreciate the commitment to the bit.

[justcallme-bucky]

I was proud of this one.

[ironman-tonystark]

Barnes was staring at me today with such a murderous look, my testes retreated so far up, I'm pretty sure I could feel them by my tonsils.

[justcallme-bucky]

Meanwhile, I was just zoned out trying to remember where I left my motorcycle last.