Why are you not mine? |Beginning
Series Page | A/N: Welcome welcome. Please, before reading check series page for more context and general warnings! Sorry about mistakes!
You could be happy. Everyday, while missing Devildom, you could still be happy. When the exchange program ended, you needed to come back. Say goodbye to all demons and angels you met. Because you had to. As a normal human you couldn't stay here. Your body was human. Your mind was human. So there was no way for you to live here forever. Your family waited. Your friends, everyone who you knew in your human life. That's why on the last day of your stay, you said goodbye. Hoping to meet again in future. Knowing that sometimes you could meet your friends when they come visit you.
Of course you missed them. Each of them left an empty spot in your heart, as you knew you cannot go back to what you had, living in the House of Lamentation.
They didn't manage to tell you everything. They didn't have time to do something they wanted.
When you said goodbye, you never expected to feel the same as you felt in the world of demons. It was an exciting, more magical experience. As dangerous as you can think. They're demons, called to be evil beings who are able to do everything.
The human world is boring compared to that.
But your heart filled with joy as you found your love. A person who reached out, as a human. Loving you with everything they could give you. Human partner who made sure you're not feeling lonely and unloved. They were here when you slowly managed to forget you left the world you loved behind.
You still waited for a moment when you could meet your “family”. Demons who gave you moments you never forget.
Each time you met in your new house, you gave them everything you could. Show them they're welcomed as your guests. Remember to give them their favourite human world snacks, as they sit with you, just talking. Each visit was very nostalgic and happy. Yet still so hurting, knowing they need to go back. And you'll be separated for the time being, before they'll visit again.
You thought they'd be happy when you introduced your partner. But they looked at each other before smiling.
Something was wrong, but you were too blind with happiness to notice in time.
You thought they liked your partner. They talked, they laughed, they shared their numbers so they could contact each other. Was it out of it being appropriate? Or because they wanted to befriend? Whatever it was, you looked at them with happiness, sitting with a smile, seeing all your loved ones together.
Not knowing one of them was really unpleasant with how things became.
Each time they acted normal, but their eyes changed. Every time they looked at you, they were soft. But then it becomes colder and sharper while seeing your partner. Seeing your closeness. Seeing how well you're together.
Does that person deserve more than them?
In what way are they better?
They can't give you what HE can.
They can't be with you till the very end.
They can't just take you.
They can't –
And that unpleasant thing was the existence of your partner, while they knew they would be better for you.
Your heart was pounding the first time you were alone with one of them.
“ I love you.”
“Please, be with me.”
He said, reaching out for your hand. His voice is calm, silent. But persistent. Like he wanted to add “I know you love me too”. But those words never happened. They just disappeared in the void of his mind as soon as you opened your mouth.
“I'm… I'm sorry but… I love them.” You said nervously. Not knowing what exactly you should tell him. Talking about your human lover made you realize how important they were for you. They appeared when you needed someone, so now they're the love of your life. And that won't change.
No matter how many times the demon will say it, you'll only apologize, finding love for humans achievable.
Looking at his facial expression, you felt bad. Your sweat became cold, worrying about what will happen. You made him sad. You offended him… you didn't want to… but that was the only option. You really… love your partner so much. You don't need to prove it or question it. You had to say it. That was the thing you needed to do, wanting to keep your life happy. For all of them. Because digging that hole deeper would make problems more complicated.
And after that you parted your ways. You didn't talk for some time, but everything suddenly became normal. You could question the reality. Did he say it for real? Or maybe you imagined things? Right now, everything seems fine. Too fine for that moment being truly real.
No matter how much you looked at him while they all sat down at the table, nothing happened. They talked, laughed and ate. Argued a little like brothers do. Then laughed with your lover and you. Everything was fine. So you looked at your second part, seeing their happiness while hanging out with part of your family.
Something glitched on their face. Red. But it just appeared for a split second before letting you see that delicate smile again. Thinking you're just tired, you accepted that your life is just as happy as it was. With people you love near you. With someone who loves you forever.
With a demon who questioned why you can't be his.
Hours, then days, then months passed. Like it was nothing, you continued your happy life.
That moment was just in your head. He's acting normally. Even if that was true, you are loyal. You won't abandon your human partner ever.
What if they abandoned you instead?
Because the next time you see them after they left your house was when their eyes didn't meet yours. When their heartbeat didn't match yours. And they didn't share their warmth with you.
With a person on the phone telling you your loved one is not here anymore.
The person who showed you love in the human world is not here anymore.
Someone who told you all these sweet words would never talk again.
Someone who held your hand would never wrap their fingers around yours.
Someone who imagined a future with you had no future at all.
Their future was on the ground…
Lips you kissed, dry and cold.
Skin you caressed, pale.
Eyes you looked at, not blinking, lost all light inside them.
The body you touched sewed into place after that accident you never wanted to know. You don't want to imagine what they felt while dying.
What they were thinking after giving out their last breath…
Memories were all that was left.
The cold house wasn't comfortable anymore.
The bed you shared wasn't good for sleeping.
The dining table made you throw up your food.
Their clothes made you want to tear them apart, or wear them.
Looking at yourself makes you hate your own being.
Left alone, you didn't have any sense of being here.
That was right… humans can't be with you forever… one day, it will end…
But demons can.
Softer or harsher, comfortable or painful… it was never able to last…
Everything will be sweet with him.
Your lover loved you so much… but it was…
Demon loves you too
It never would end perfectly… since you always had devildom in heart. How would they really accept you being so close with demons…
That's why demons are better.
They never judge. They'll love you forever. As long as you'll be HIS.
When you looked at the photo of your partner, you were like a ghost. Hollow eyes staring at a shared picture of your happiness. Only light in your house that was left. The rest disappeared with him. With that accident that happened.
The first hand you touched after that was warm… it squeezed your wrist, pulling you into a hug. Your body instinctively gave out, allowing yourself to cry.
Looking up, there he was…
Demon
Lucifer
Mammon
Leviathan
Satan
Asmodeus
Beelzebub
Belphegor
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